Made to Lie
by lexi-charmed
Summary: Dean Winchester has been expelled from his third school in Lawrence, and now finds himself at an all boys boarding school. He is 100% straight. At least, that's what he thought until he met his roommate, Castiel Novak. How will he deal with his change in feelings and his need to play football?
1. Chapter 1

**Hey, so I know I have other ongoing stories at the moment, but this one popped in my head when I was looking through older stories I've written. I decided I wanted to redo my Boarding School Hell one, but this time in the Supernatural universe. It has substantially changed to make the change in Dean's character a lot more realistic. So, I really hope you enjoy it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural. I'm just writing this for fun.**

Chapter 1

Dean Winchester looked up at the school as he climbed out of his dad's jeep. It was large, too large for his liking. And it definitely looked like it was old. Way old. The 17-year-old Winchester didn't really know what to make of it but he didn't like it.

_Just one more year_, Dean thought to himself. That's all he had to do was one more year. He should have been in Lawrence High School, but he just had to get expelled. It wasn't even his fault. The fight that got him expelled was Michael Jenning's fault. He started it. Dean just finished it. Okay, so the captain of the basketball team had ended up in hospital, but still. It served him right.

If Dean hadn't been on his last warning, it would have been a bit easier. And if Dean hadn't already been expelled from three different schools, it might have been a little different.

God only knew how his parents had gotten him into this school, or how they were going to afford it. No public school wanted to touch him for his senior year. He'd ended up at St. Benedict's Boarding School for Boys. Of course, it was a Catholic school, and it just had to be an all boys one. Did his parents really have to throw both at him? But he knew whose suggestion it had really been. His dad's friend Ellen had connections that helped him get in, despite his track record at not staying out of trouble.

Dean let out a sigh as he felt his dad's hand on his shoulder.

"Please, do not get expelled from this school, Dean." John pleaded with his eldest son as mary Winchester climbed out of the car. Luckily, little brother Sammy had remained at home. Dean didn't want to see the kid watch him get packed off to a boarding school.

"You'll make new friends quickly, Dean. You always do." Mary smiled, as she placed a caring hand on his face. Dean couldn't help but roll his eyes. That wasn't what he was worried about.

"You realize that people have been here for three years already. I'm gonna be here for one. Why did you think this was a good idea?"

"Well, if you hadn't gotten yourself explained from your last school, you wouldn't be in this position, would you?" Mary glared at her son and started walking towards the school. Dean looked over at his dad, a glare in his green eyes. John shook his head with a look that said he would talk to Mary later.

Mary had been livid hearing that Dean had put another boy in the hospital. John, on the other hand, let the marine show through. While he pretended to be angry, he was secretly proud of his son after he heard the whole story. The Jennings boy had been asking for a beating for some time and happened to hurt one of Dean's best friends, who happened to be the daughter of his friend Ellen. Of course Dean was going to defend Jo's honor. It just led to the 18-year-old being put in hospital.

Dean did had to admit that he was lucky. Michael's parents could have pressed charges, but they decided against it as long as Dean was kicked straight out of school. The downside for Dean was it was towards the end of his junior year. He was going to miss football practice, junior prom and a hell of a lot of school. Of course, John and Mary decided against him missing out of school and he was assigned a tutor. Not that it helped. Uncle Bobby Singer wasn't much of a tutor, but he was good fun and understanding.

But now Dean was back in school. Part of him looked forward to it. It would be good to play sports again and good to hang out with friends. But he'd rather be at home with his friends from school. He was going to miss the fun and games with Jo, Ash and even Bela.

Students were walking towards the boarding school with bags. The only upside to today was everyone was starting for the new school year. Right now, he didn't stand out like the new kid. The one who would only be there for a year before going off to college—was he even going to go to college? That wasn't something he'd really given a thought.

Right now, he had to get through high school. He had to manage the year without getting suspended or expelled. That wasn't going to be easy. Trouble had a habit of finding him.

Dean grabbed his two bags while John grabbed a box and they followed Mary into the school. His new room was his port of call. Then he could at least get rid of his parents and get on with settling into his school.

As they walked through the corridors, Dean couldn't help be feel like eyes were on him. Despite being the first day of school, he was clearly the new kid. The boys that he walked past looked like they were at least juniors, so they'd know the faces of the seniors. Dean remembered hearing that the school only had around 100 students per year. It would be easy to remember those in the older years.

Finally, he got to his room. 6C hung on the wall with two names underneath.

_C. Novak_

_D. Winchester_

Novak. That was the name of his new roommate. And based on the sound coming from the room, his roommate didn't have the best taste in music. All he could hear was noise. It reminded him of the stoner music from his last high school. God, he hated that music.

Mary pushed the door open and Dean could see a fairly tall guy sitting on the window ledge, writing in something. _Great, he writes in a diary too_, Dean rolled his eyes. This was going to be one hell of a year.

"Hello!" The boy looked up, and Dean couldn't help but raise his eyebrows. The boy's eyes were an intense bright shade of blue. Dean had never seen anything like them, "I am Castiel."

The boy—Castiel—placed his notebook on a nearby desk and held out his hand for Mary to shake. She smiled softly, introducing herself, quickly followed by John. Dean instantly felt subconscious. This boy didn't have his parents here. He needed to get rid of his.

"Okay, Mom, Dad. You can go now," Dean made it clear they weren't wanted.

"You'll be okay, sweetie," Mary smiled and kissed Dean on his forehead, "We'll pick you up at Christmas."

Mary had tears in her eyes as she hugged her eldest son. The eldest Winchester brother couldn't help but roll his eyes with a soft smile.

"You know, anyone would think I chose to come here with you crying. You sent me here, remember?"

"Well, if you didn't get yourself expelled..." Mary started, but was then conscious about the other boy in the room. Dean glanced over at his new roommate to see Castiel's blue eyes widen. Damn, they were really blue, "Never mind. Please just stay out of trouble, Dean. I'm begging you this time."

Dean rolled his green eyes, again, but nodded his head, "I'll stay outta trouble, Mom. Scout's honor."

"You weren't a scout, Dean." John glared at his son, but pulled Mary out of the door.

Finally, his parents were gone and it was time to meet his new roommate properly. He turned to the dark-haired boy, musing over how messy his hair was.

"I hope you don't mind. I chose this bed." Castiel pointed towards the suitcase that sat on the bed. Dean shrugged his shoulders. He didn't really care where he slept, as long as he was able to get some sleep.

Dean started to unpack his bags, but could feel eyes on him. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Castiel watching him.

"So, you were expelled," Cas—yeah, now it was Cas—spoke in a low voice, "Why were you expelled?"

"One too many fights." Dean laughed at the question. The last thing he wanted was to make his roommate uncomfortable. As the two went back to unpacking, Dean couldn't help but want to know more about this kid, "So, your parents already gone back home?"

"My mom died when I was 14," Castiel explained with a frown, "My dad left when I was a baby. My older brother took me in, but I get back home to here on my own."

"Oh God!" Dean exclaimed, kicking himself for his laid back attitude, "I am so sorry. I didn't mean to...I'm sorry...it was insensitive..."

"It's okay, Dean," Cas smiled softly, "I deal with it well. My brother helped. And it is not like you knew before you asked. It would make sense that you would want to know about my family."

Dean felt like he could breathe again, but he made a mental note to watch what he asked—to anyone he met. He had no idea why people were in this school. For him it wasn't his choice, for others it could have been a means to escape.

Before Dean could ask any more questions, a knock at the door interrupted them. Before either teenagers could answer the door, it opened and a medium-height, brown-haired boy poked his head around.

"Yo! Novak! How was your summer?" The boy walked into the room and completely ignored Dean. Dean just got back on with packing, listening into the conversation. He did smile when he saw Cas' blue eyes lighten up.

"Good. How was yours, Speedy?"

Dean couldn't help but smirk as the newcomer rattled off everything about his summer vacation. It turned out that the brown-haired boy had finally gotten with a girl called Mandy, and Dean couldn't help but laugh. The guy sounded just like him.

"This the new guy?" Speedy now asked, pointing over at Dean.

"Oh, I forgot my manners. Yes, this is Dean," Castiel introduced Dean and then motioned towards the third boy, "This is Cole Speed."

"Most people call me Speedy," Cole replied with a smile, holding out his hand for Dean to shake, "So, you're the fresh blood."

"I guess I would be." Dean nodded, resenting the fact that he was going to be known as the new guy. There would be around 100 freshman, but he'd been known as the new guy—the fresh blood.

"Cool," Speedy grinned, "So, how come you've got here in your senior year? I'm guessing you're a senior if you're sharing a room with Novak."

"I'm a senior," Dean nodded with a smile, "I was expelled from my last school. A friend of my dad's just happens to know the principal."

Speedy grinned and wiggled his eyebrows. Dean clenched his jaw, preferring not to think of Ellen Harvelle doing the dirty with anyone. She was not like that—and she'd beat any guy who tried it on her. But Speedy didn't know, so Dean was going to give him a free pass. Just this once.

"What you get expelled for?"

"One too many fights." Dean kept the reply short. Not only was he still a little pissed at the insinuation from this brunette guy, he was also trying to get away from people finding out what he'd really done. He didn't need a reputation, at least right now. Speedy just shrugged his shoulders and turned back to Castiel.

"So, how are you and Meg?"

Castiel frowned at the mention of the girl's name and Dean felt a little uncomfortable being here for this conversation. The two were clearly good friends, and Dean felt like an intruder for being here.

"We broke up again," Castiel finally answered, "I broke it off last night."

"You got some before you broke it off, right?"

"Of course." Castiel said it as if Speedy was an idiot. Dean couldn't believe the conversation. He had prim, proper school boys in his head when his mom and dad told him all about the place. He never expected them to have similar conversations to his time at home.

"So, do you have a girlfriend back home?" Dean realized the two boys were not looking at him. This Speedy guy was way too nosey.

"Not as of..." Dean checked his watch, "five hours ago." He and Lisa—could he really call her a girlfriend—had decided to call it off while Dean was in school. They'd be friends and that was about it. But then, really they were just friends with benefits. Dean Winchester didn't do relationships. He liked to have choices.

"Never ever leave home without getting laid a few nights before you get here," Speedy advised him, "You'll be gagging for it while you're in here. This place is worse than jail, unless you're gay. You're not gay, are you?"

_Would that be a problem?_ Dean questioned, but shook his head. No he wasn't gay, but he had friends who were. He had no problem with those who battered for the other team, but it seemed this school and Speedy did.

"Who else is back?" Castiel now broke up the conversation after putting the last of his clothes in his drawers.

"Benny is," Speedy nodded, "And I think Teapot is back."

"Teapot?" Dean just had to check that he heard that name right.

"Yeah, erm, long story about that nickname." Speedy laughed.

As Castiel and his friend left the room, Dean hung back. He wasn't sure whether he was welcome, and didn't exactly want to push his presence.

"You coming, Winchester?" Speedy now called out, "You can meet the gang. Well, some of it."

It turned out that Dean really had no choice. The two teenagers were waiting for him to follow them down the hallway and into one of the other rooms. Dean couldn't help but glance at the door to see the names _B. Laffite_ and _C. Speed_ on the door.

"Castiel, it's good to see you, brother," a shorter, blonde-haired boy smiled, hugging Castiel in a friendly way. His eyes then looked at Dean, "Hi. Name's Benny. You must be the new blood."

"Yeah, seems I've picked up that nickname," Dean nodded his head, "Dean."

"Well, it's good to meet you, Dean," Benny smiled, making Dean feel right at home, "Take a seat. Everyone will end up in here soon enough. They always do."

"Party central." Speedy grinned, sitting on his own bed, while Dean sat on one of the desk chairs. Castiel sat on Benny's bed up by the pillow, while Benny laid across the bottom on his stomach. While the three friends chatted about their summer and asked Dean the odd question, more students joined them.

Dean was soon introduced to "the gang." It was a small gang. James 'Teapot' Bane was the only other senior to join them. There were three juniors, who Dean didn't quite get the names of. He'd worry about that at a later date.

"So, do you play any sports?" Benny now asked Dean with genuine interest.

"I played football at my old school," Dean admitted, "Used to play baseball as a kid."

"You gonna try out for the team?" Teapot now asked, with a questionable glare. Dean suddenly felt self-conscious and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Maybe."

"Watch yourself," Benny suggested, "They're not the friendliest of guys, brother." Dean wasn't sure how to take that warning, but he wasn't going to push it. He was sure he'd find out over the next week.

"Dean'll be able to handle himself," Speedy laughed, "He got expelled for fighting at his old school."

"Really!" one of the juniors asked with a laugh. Dean was sure the guy was called Garth, but he couldn't be sure. He was skinny as a twig and he would call him Twiggy in his head, "How many fights?"

"Enough," Dean shrugged his shoulders, "Not the first time either." They were pulling the story out of him. With enough questions that Dean couldn't avoid, he finally told them about the guy that he'd put in the hospital. While most laughed, Dean couldn't help but see Castiel look at him with shock in his blue eyes, and was there a hint of fear? This was why he didn't want to tell his story. He really didn't need a reputation like this.

"Hey, anyone been down to the hut yet?" a red-haired junior asked, jumping up to his feet, "I heard they were going to put a lock on the door."

"They threaten to do that every year," Benny laughed, climbing off his bed but then turned to look at Dean, "You smoke, brother?"

"Supposed to have quit," Dean shrugged his shoulders. He'd promised Jo that he would quit smoking, but what was the harm in doing it sociably at school? Like she'd find out, "Why?"

"That's what we do in the hut." Castiel told Dean and then followed his friends out of the house. Dean laughed once, realizing that his promise to stay out of trouble was clearly being broken. He should have the middle name Trouble!

Dean just followed his potential new friends through the wood to a small cabin that looked like it had seen better days. Actually, Dean couldn't help but think a gust of wind would blow this thing over. How old was it?

On the way down, Cas had explained that it was the old changing hut for the soccer team before the team was disbanded. The hut had fallen into disrepair and the soccer pitch was overgrown. But it was the perfect spot for the boys to go smoking, even if it was out of bounds and well against school rules.

Dean could see that it had been out of use for some time. The look of it screamed no longer in use. As they stepped into the hut, Dean started to worry about his safety. It was dark, musty and smelled of damp.

"You've had your tetanus job, right?" Castiel now asked with a laugh, before pulling out a packet of cigarettes and sitting down against one of the walls. Dean looked around before sitting near his new roommate, looking around at the boys lighting up. Cas offered Dean a smoke, but he refused. He had promised Jo, after all, "You'll take it back up in a few weeks. Trust me."

Dean smiled weakly, before looking around at the place again. He couldn't help but think of the stern look his mother would be giving him right now. Not an hour ago had he promised her to stay out of trouble. Now he was in a rundown hut that was technically out of bounds with friends who were breaking one of the rules. He was screwed if he was caught.

"So, boyfriend or girlfriend back home?" The third junior that he was sure being called Tommy.

"Tommy asks that because he's gay." Speedy laughed. So, they didn't have a problem with gays. That made Dean feel a little more at ease—not that he was gay, but because he didn't want to spend a year with homophobes.

"I had a girlfriend," Dean answered the question, "I'm straight."

"I'm sure I could change that," Tommy winked, make Dean feel a little uncomfortable. Benny rolled his eyes, telling the junior to shut his pie-hole and then apologized for the boy, "Hey, eventually people change in this place. Look at Cas. He said he was straight when we first met him."

Dean looked over at his roommate, who was turning a shade of pink. He wasn't sure how to take that comment, sure that he'd heard Speedy ask about a girl called Meg earlier on.

"Oh yeah, did Meg ever find out about what you did?" Speedy now asked, laughing at his friend. So, there was a girl called Meg.

"No, and she never will." Castiel warned his friend.

"You two break up again?" Benny now asked and smirked at his friend, "It's about time, brother. She was...well..."

"She was what I needed at the time," Cas confirmed, looking at Dean out of the corner of his blue eyes, "Can we talk about something else?"

"Well, I guess you don't need to worry about relieving that frustration," Teapot now smirked, looking between Castiel and Tommy. Both of them rolled their eyes, and then Teapot glanced at Dean, "Sorry, dude. Don't mean to make you feel uncomfortable."

The group decided to change the topic of conversation after that, deciding that Dean needed to know all about the school. More importantly, they needed to know about the guys not to hang around with, and it seemed like most of the football team was on that list. Like that was going to stop him. He was only going to be here for a year, he'd didn't care about making too many enemies. He wanted to have fun in his senior year.

* * *

**So, it's just an introduction to someof the characters. I'd love to hear what you think. Just to let you know that I am taking this story slow. It is eventually a Castiel/Dean story, but I want the change to be realistic. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for the feedback, Alice. The story behind Teapot's nickname will come :) Thanks for those who have followed/favorited this story. I love that after a chapter, you're already interested.**

**Something I forgot to say in the first chapter is that I have changed the age difference between Dean and Sam. I needed someone he could talk to in the family, and having a 13-year-old brother wouldn't really work. So having a 16-year-old brother was better. Other changes will be very clear as the story goes on.**

**I can't always update after just a day. I do have quite a few chapters of this story written, but my schedule doesn't always allow me to get on the computer. I work two jobs and a Sunday online is actually very rare for me. But since I can get online, I wanted to share this chapter. I hope you enjoy!**

Chapter 2

"Hey, Sammy," Dean smiled into the phone, "How you doing, little bro."

"Good, Dean," Dean could tell that his brother was smiling on the other end of the phone. His little brother was two years younger than him, but they were like the best of friends. It was difficult for Dean to leave Sam behind, but it was just a year. And it would be good for his 15-year-old brother. Sammy needed to get used to being without Dean for when he went off to Stanford and became the attorney to the stars. That was Dean's dream for his little brother anyway, "Adam and Charlie miss you."

Adam and Charlie were Dean's others siblings. Adam was his biological baby brother, while Charlie was their adopted sister. She was a quirky character, even at eight-years-old, but Dean loved her. Adam was still young at 10-years-old, and that made Dean more protective of him. But he knew they'd never be extremely close with the large age gap.

"Yeah, I miss everyone," Dean admitted. It had been a few hours, but he missed the familiar scents and noise of being back home. He'd never admit it to anyone, but he was a family guy. His brothers, sister and parents meant the world to him. The friends he classed as family were just the same. Nothing could happen to them without Dean hearing and doing something about it, "How was school today?"

"Good. Balthazar was a bit of a dick, but what's new?"

"That guy will always be a dick," Dean smirked and glanced over at his roommate who was just getting changed, "What did my geek brother get up to then?"

"We had a pop quiz in history. I know I aced it."

"You always do." Dean couldn't help but laugh at the 16-year-old's confidence. He had no doubt that his little brother had aced a pop quiz. Sam Winchester was one smart boy.

"I saw Lisa today," Sam now said, breaking a small silence between them, "She isn't happy that you broke up with her. Why did you break up with her, Dean?"

"It's not like we were exclusive, Sammy," Dean sighed, "I wasn't expecting her not to get with someone else while I was here. Look, erm, I gotta go, okay? We're on strict timelines here and got head count in a few minutes."

"Head count?" Sam laughed at his brother, "Well, guess you're not getting into any more trouble. I'll speak to you later, bro."

"Bye."

Dean hung up the phone and saw Castiel watching him. Dean thought it would make him feel uneasy, but it didn't. He found he didn't really mind his roommate watching him, but he would like to know the reason for that glint in his eyes.

"You and your brother are close?" Castiel now broke the silence.

"Yeah, there just over a year between us," Dean shrugged his shoulders, getting changed for bed. He'd have enough time before the teacher on duty came around to do headcount, "We grew up together. You must be close to your brother."

"There's 10 years between us," Castiel explained, "Gabriel was more like a father when he took me in after our mom died."

"Oh," Dean said with a frown, "I'm sorry. I keep bringing that shit up."

"Don't worry about it, Dean. Like I said earlier, I've learned to deal with it now," Castiel smiled softly, just as there was a knock at the door. It opened and the head of a teacher looked around the door. The teacher smiled and then left, happy that both boys were in the room, "Well, I guess we'd better sleep. It is a long day ahead of us tomorrow."

* * *

Dean stared at his timetable with a sigh. _Physics first thing_, he thought to himself, rubbing his eyes. Did it really have to be physics? He hated that subject. Why couldn't it be shop or gym? Those two would be so much better. But no, God just had to be a dick to him again.

Looking at his timetable further, Dean sighed. Not only did he have physics this Monday morning but math followed straight after. The only saving grace was English after that. He could do English.

Castiel broke his mental whining, asking about the timetable. It made Dean jump, especially when he realized the blue-eyed 17-year-old was standing in his personal space. Now that did make Dean feel uncomfortable. He didn't like people getting in his personal space unless it was a girl he was going to get lucky with.

Dean took a step back and showed him the piece of paper with all his lessons on it. It really was crap, but Castiel had a smile on his face.

"We both have physics and English together."

Dean smiled. That was one saving grace, at least. He would know someone in two of his classes over the year.

"I can show you to physics after breakfast, if you want," Castiel offered with a smile, "But first, I need to grab a shower."

Dean just watched as his roommate walked out of the room with a towel in hand. It would be helpful having someone show him around the school. It was a bit of a maze he'd noticed yesterday with all the joining corridors, so having someone around would be useful. He would need to talk to Castiel about personal space, though.

* * *

The bell rang loudly down all the of school corridors, including all the dormitories. All students should have been in their first lesson by now, and Dean and Castiel were just walking into physics. Dean enjoyed breakfast, realizing that the food was almost as good as his mom's, but was dreading the thought of his first class. This was the first time he would be around a room full of seniors.

Of course, as soon as he walked in, all eyes were on him. It was like he could sense their judgment for only having to be there for a year. This was the fear he had when he first heard about having to go to boarding school.

"Is this your new lapdog, Novak?" One of the boys in the room asked as the two teenagers sat down. Dean had taken the desk behind Castiel's, just next to the aforementioned boy. Instantly, he disliked him and noted that he reminded him of Michael Jennings. His looks and it seemed his personality were just the same.

"Bite me, Zach." Castiel glared at the boy before taking his seat. Dean watched as Castiel removed the uniform blazer and hung it over the back of the chair, and followed suit. He hated the idea of wearing a uniform, but he guessed he did have himself to blame for getting kicked out of a third school. But that didn't mean he wouldn't do it again.

"I'm sure Twig would love to," the boy laughed and then turned to look at Dean, "I'm Zach Newns, by the way. I guess you're the new kid. Winchester, right?"

"Yeah, Dean." The 17-year-old nodded his head, quickly glancing between Castiel and Zach, wondering what their beef was all about.

"So, a little birdie told me that you're interested in the football team."

"Maybe." Dean shrugged his shoulders, wondering how news about him spread so quickly. Clearly, it didn't take long for people to gossip.

"Well, you won't get on if you hang around Novak, here," Zach told him, "I know you can't help sharing a room with him, but don't become his lapdop."

"Get a life, Newns." Castiel glared at the boy, turning around in his chair. The anger that flashed in his blue eyes just made the football player laughter.

"You're so easy to wind up, man," Zach smirked, "Maybe you need to ask Twig to give you a hand to loosen you up a little."

Dean could tell that Castiel wanted to argue back, but a teacher walked in interrupting them. Twig had to be Garth, Dean was sure of it. He was skinny enough to be a twig, and that was the name Dean had given him last night in his head. But nobody had mentioned there was anything going on between them. Not that it made any difference to Dean.

But it seemed his roommate could be gay, or maybe bisexual. As much as he respected that, he didn't want to get involved in any of it. And he did really want to play football again, despite this Zach guy being a dick.

A note being placed on his desk pulled him out of his thoughts.

_Tryouts at 4pm. Be there if you wanna shot._

Dean glanced across at Zach, who gave him a wink before turning his attention back to the teacher. He would try out. He wanted something from his old life back.

* * *

The classes flew by quite quickly. Dean had enjoyed English, but hated his first two lessons. He hadn't gotten away from the looks and whispers, though. Part of him really wanted to know what the whispers were all about, but he could guess that most of it was just being the new kid in senior year. It was bound to happen. People would want to know why he was expelled, and he was sure his story about getting into a few fights at his old school. If his interest in football spread so quickly, his reason for being expelled would, too.

Lunch should have been the best time of the day. After breakfast, he was looking forward to the food, but it meant a cafeteria full of whispering students. The only saving grace was already making friends.

Castiel motioned over for Dean to join him and his friends, and they happily made a space for him. One good thing about boarding school is it didn't seem to be the hellish, cliquey place that Lawrence High School was.

"Hey, Teapot!" Speedy called out across the cafeteria, waving his friend over. As the blonde-haired boy sat down, Dean just couldn't help himself.

"Alright, why the hell is your nickname Teapot?"

The group of teenage boys laughed at the question. It was clearly a joke that everyone knew about, and they were just waiting for Dean to answer. In fact, he watched Speedy hand Tommy some money, making it clear that there'd been a bet on how long it would take Dean to ask the question.

"It was all to do with some drunken thing on a bus," Teapot answered the question when nobody else was, "I scored the winning shot in a basketball game and because of that had to sing a song..."

"Of his own choice." Castiel pointed out to make sure it was clear just why the nickname had stuck.

"So, I chose to sing..."

The whole table jumped up and started singing _I'm a Little Teapot_, doing the actions at the same time. Most of the cafeteria watched them and laughed, with a few rolls of the eyes from what Dean could only guess was the jock table.

With a smirk, though, Dean nodded his head. Now he understood. Why anyone would choose that song to sing when he had the choice was beyond him. It did serve the guy right. But something did stick out, something that had been playing on his mind since physics this morning.

"Wait, so you play basketball?"

"Not anymore," Teapot shook his head, looking around the group. The boys seemed to all stop laughing and look at the table, "It's a long story, though."

_Not that long,_ Dean thought to himself, glancing over at the jock's table. He could see Zach looking over at him, with a look in his eyes that Dean couldn't quite figure out. It was clear that if you hung out with these guys, you couldn't play on one of the sports teams. Dean would have to clearly make a decision.

* * *

Soon enough, 4pm rolled around and it was time for football tryouts. Dean turned up dressed in his sweats and a t-shirt. He guessed he'd get everything he needed there, if it was anything like his old school.

There were a group of guys already waiting. Some of them were freshman and sophomores trying out for the junior varsity team. There were a handful of juniors but he seemed to be the only senior trying out. He shouldn't have been surprised really. He'd heard that he team didn't like new guys starting when they were in their senior year. There was a feeling that someone had to earn it.

But it wasn't going to put Dean off. He'd at least give it a try and he wanted to get back into football, even if it meant training and not playing a game.

"Winchester! Glad to see you made it," Zach jogged over to him and pulled him across to the team, "You decided to tryout then."

"Yeah, what's to lose, right?"

"Excellent mentality," Zach grinned and got him kitted out for the trials, "So, what position did you play in your old school?"

"Running back." Dean replied, watching the freshman and sophomores start their tryout session. It looked grueling but fun at the same time. He'd really missed football when he was expelled from school.

"Great. We lost our running back last year. Dude decided to graduate, the insensitive bastard."

Dean couldn't help but chuckle at Zach's sarcasm. Now that he was alone with him, he didn't seem that bad. In fact, being around him seemed like he was back at his old high school.

"Let's check you out, then."

Dean showed him everything he had when it was time. He wanted to make this team, and make sure no junior was going to take the spot. It was only while he was showing off his skills that he realized just how much he wanted to fit in. He needed this to feel like himself again. After being expelled, he'd lost a part of who he was. His friends and football had been taken from him all because of that dick, Michael.

It felt good to work with the current team, too. Zach was a great quarterback and captain. Directions were clear and plays were well thought-out with the coach. It didn't take long for Dean to pick up on things and could even show off just how quick he was on his feet.

"Winchester!" His name was called out by the coach.

"Yes, Coach?"

"Good work out there," Coach Harris grinned, "You'd better get to the kit room and find some that fits ya. You made it, boy."

Zach slapped Dean's back as he led him off the pitch, saying that he'd show him where the kit room was. There were conditions to being on the team, though, and Dean was quickly finding out just what they were: it would mean giving up his first friends.

Honestly, with how great it felt like to be out on that field, Dean wasn't really that bothered. It wasn't like he'd grown a bond with them. But that didn't mean he wasn't going to be civil with them. One of those guys was his roommate.

* * *

**So, Dean is being a typical teenager right now, I know. He sounds like a jackass...there is more about why he's doing that in later chapters. But I'd love to hear what you think of the chapter and story so far. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for the feedback on the last chapter. I'm happy to see people enjoying this story. I'm having a lot of fun writing it. Thanks for all the favorites and follows too.  
**

**Here's the next chapter of the story.**

Chapter 3

The first few weeks of school seemed to fly by, and Dean hated to admit that he actually enjoyed it. He'd made some friends on the football team, and helped secure two wins against schools already. It was proving to be a good season.

Things with his roommate hadn't been that bad, either. Castiel had understood when Dean said he wanted to play football, and they were friendly when they were together in their room. It wasn't that often, though. Dean often did the homework assignments in one of the football player's rooms or in one of the classrooms they were allowed to use. Well, he tried to do his work. It wasn't always easy.

That was why he was in his own room right now. He needed to finish the latest English essay. It was due in two days and he was still struggling with it.

Saving the work that he'd just done, Dean read through it and then groaned. It sounded ridiculous. What wasn't helping was the day's training running through his head. They'd tried out a new play, and Dean just wasn't getting his head around it. On top of that, his brother had called to tell him that he had a new girlfriend and he just wanted to know more about this Sarah girl.

Dean groaned, deleting the paragraph that he'd just written and went back to write it again.

"Maybe you should write it all out and then edit." Castiel suggested from his own desk, causing Dean to glance at him out of the corner of his eye.

"Yeah? Then I'd have a whole essay to delete and try again."

Castiel chuckled to himself and then pulled his chair to sit next to Dean. Again with the personal space! Dean really did need to have a talk with this guy about it.

"Let me read it. It might not sound as stupid as you think."

Dean held up his hands defensively and stood, allowing his roommate to read through his work. The 17-year-old Winchester couldn't quite tell whether this boy was impressed or found the work really bad. His poker face was incredible.

"It's not that bad, but..." Castiel started, scrolling up to the top of the document, "You've not answered the question."

Dean frowned and then re-read the question, realizing that he had completely missed the point of it. Growling, he slammed the laptop closed and flopped himself on his bed.

"I need to get this essay done."

"Hey, how about we go down to the hut for a smoke," Castiel shrugged his shoulders. Dean hadn't been down there since that first night, but he did admit that it could be helpful right now. But his better option would have been to go down to the gym to help him relax. It would have been healthier, "I can help you layout your essay plan."

"Haven't you got your own to do?"

"Already finished mine." Castiel said with a proud smile. Dean just rolled his eyes, of course his roommate had already finished his essay. He was ahead in his classes and this genius when it came to the majority of subjects. Dean was holding onto a C average if he was lucky.

"You wanna?" Castiel asked again, "I was gonna go down to a party down the hall, but I don't mind."

Dean frowned but then nodded his head. If there was a party down the hall, there's no way he would be able to concentrate on this essay, and he really did need to get it done.

"Take your notebook and handwrite it for now. The laptop won't have enough charge."

It didn't take them long to get down to the hut, and Dean instantly felt the pressure to take up smoking again. He'd quit while at home and felt great for it, but the scent of Castiel smoking while helping him with his school work was just too tempting. As soon as Castiel offered him a smoke, Dean took it and then got on with his school work.

They actually got through the majority of the essay. Everything seemed so much clearer now that they were outside.

"So, you enjoying football?" Castiel broke the silence once Dean wrote down the last few notes that he'd need to type up later.

"Yeah, it's good. Won another game yesterday."

"I know, I was there." Castiel nodded with a smile, and Dean couldn't help but look at him with a bit of confusion. Castiel wasn't the biggest fan of the football players or even the game. Why the hell would he turn up to last night's game?

Suddenly, he felt a pair of lips on his own. Castiel had jumped forward and kissed him gently. In shock, Dean pulled away, grabbing his roommate by the shoulders.

"What the hell you doing, Cas?" Dean asked, panic clear in his green eyes. Then he saw a look of confusion and embarrassment in Castiel's eyes.

"I'm sorry, Dean. I just...I thought..."

"I don't swing that way, Cas." Dean shook his head, standing up and grabbing his books. Without another word, he rushed out of the hut and headed back to the school.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck!_ Dean thought to himself. His roommate had a thing for him. His roommate had actually kissed him. Where the fuck did that come from? Why did it have to happen?

But what shocked Dean more was that he didn't quite mind his roommate kissing him. Castiel was good looking, Dean had noted that over the last few weeks, but he wasn't gay. He couldn't be gay. He'd slept with enough girls back home and enjoyed it. He enjoyed being around them.

Quickly dropping his books off in his room, Dean got changed into shorts and a t-shirt. He needed to clear his head and there was one place that would really help him do that. The gym.

He spent an hour punching at the bag hanging in the gym. Nobody had interrupted him, and he felt good to be able to get rid of the stress and confusion. How the hell could his roommate kiss him? He knew that something had happened between Cas and Garth in the past, but he had no idea that Cas felt this way for him.

And why just show him by kissing him? He had to know that Dean didn't bat for that team. He was a lady's man. That was clear when the other teams would come to games. They would bring their cheerleaders, and Dean would always end up hitting on them. In fact, Dean often hit on the cheerleaders from the all-girl's boarding school that sistered with St. Benedicts. They were their cheerleaders, and Dean felt like it was his prerogative to hit on at least one of them. And none of them seemed to mind.

Dean was into girls. That was just the way it was.

So why did that one kiss with Castiel feel good? What the hell was wrong with him?

After taking his frustrations out on the punching bag for an hour, Dean decided it was time to hit the showers and then go to bed. It would be headcount in 10 minutes, anyway. The good thing about being on the football team was that he had access to the football team's showers and had a spare change of clothes in his locker in there. He wouldn't have to interrupt Castiel or face him until he was climbing into bed.

He couldn't face his roommate, right now. He needed to figure out what was going on in his head.

As Dean turned the shower on, he looked in the mirror waiting for the water to heat up. He looked into his own green eyes, trying to work out everything that was still running through his head.

He'd definitely checked out Castiel's body now and then, but he didn't like him. To be honest, he was a curious 17-year-old boy. It wasn't just girls that compared bodies with their friends and celebrities. Dean did that too, and he knew other teenage boys who did.

That was all it was, right?

Now that kiss felt so good—and he hadn't even really participated—he wasn't too sure. Maybe there was something more to him checking out other guys' bodies.

_No, it can't be._ Dean shook his head, refusing to believe that he could possibly like boys. He liked girls. It was as plain and simple as that.

Stripping off, Dean jumped into the shower and turned the water up high. He was going to use the heat as a way to punish himself for even considering there was something else that he felt for his roommate; for feeling pleasure in that one kiss.

The heat felt amazing. Because it felt so good, he turned it up more to the point where it was just burning. It was slightly uncomfortable. Enough to make himself feel bad for that initial feeling that he might be interested in his roommate.

Dean Winchester just wouldn't let it happen. He couldn't let hit happen. Zach and the rest of the football team had already made their homophobia clear. Sure, Dean wasn't homophobic. He respected others for their sexual choices, but he wasn't about to lose his position on the football team. He'd been here a few weeks and things were already looking good for him.

And he'd promised him parents that he'd stay out of trouble. Giving into his roommate's advances and getting into trouble with the football team wasn't sticking to that promise.

Dean decided to avoid the mirror as he got out of the shower and quickly dressed again. The corridors were dark now as he walked back to the dorms. Everyone was either in one of the rooms for a party or in their own rooms to sleep. With headcount just five minutes away, he guessed people would be in their own rooms for now. The parties would start back up again afterwards.

By the time he reached his own room, he saw it was pitch black. Was Castiel even back yet? Rather than turning on the light, Dean used his cell phone to navigate to his desk to turn the lamp on, relieved that he hadn't turned the light on. His roommate was asleep in his own bed by the time he got back.

Dean couldn't help but feel a little guilty, now. It had taken Castiel some guts to kiss him. Something like that wasn't something you did on a whim. Even if they were in a normal public school, it wasn't something anyone just did on a whim. It would have serious repercussions if it all went wrong.

With a heavy sigh, Dean said his roommate's name quietly but there wasn't an answer. Was he actually asleep? Or was he avoiding anything Dean could possibly say to him.

"Look, I'm sorry for running out like that." He sighed, hoping that it would at least make his roommate move. When it didn't, Dean decided that his roommate was a lost cause right now and went to bed himself. He'd have to try sort it out in the morning.

* * *

**Like I mentioned to start with, the relationship is going to take time. I want to show the confusion and thoughts running through Dean's head. I'd love to hear what you think about the story. Please R&amp;R!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you to the new followers on this story. I'm glad you enjoyed the first three chapters enough to follow this. I'm actually almost finished writing this story, and let me tell you that it's taken a completely different turn to the way I visioned it when I started writing. I'm also getting some ideas for a sequel right now, as with the ending I have at the moment it needs it. So I'd love to hear what you think of the chapters that come up to see whether the sequel is worth writing.  
**

Chapter 4

Dean Winchester groaned at the loud sound blaring around the room. It was an alarm, but Dean had hit his and it didn't stop. Why didn't it stop?

Opening an eye, Dean checked his own alarm to see that it was 5am. Why the hell was his alarm going off that early?

But it wasn't his alarm. He had to remember that. It was Castiel's alarm. Why the hell hadn't his roommate turned his damn alarm off? Squinting through very tired eyes, Dean realized that Castiel wasn't even there. The alarm would continue to sound until someone hit the button.

Groaning, Dean climbed out of bed and hit the damned alarm. Now he could go back to sleep for another hour at least. Well, he thought he could until the sound of the door opening distracted him. Dean looked over to see Castiel standing there in just a towel.

He couldn't help but stare. It was really the first chance he'd had to check the guy out completely, and had to admit that he was impressed at the four-pack forming. Despite not being into sports, the 17-year-old had a good looking body. The wet sex hair made him look even better...

Dean could feel the starts of a hard-on and panicked inside. No, how the hell was he getting a hard-on at looking at Castiel? This couldn't be happening.

Dean couldn't help but groan, just as Castiel threw him a look that was full of confusion, embarrassment and anger. He'd caused this by running off last night

"I'm sorry. I know you don't want to see this." Castiel muttered and quickly pulled out some clothes. Dean was going to have to watch his roommate get dressed, and he'd decided he couldn't take it. He wanted his own shower, and he could feel the need for a cold one at that. He needed something to help sort out his head.

Just as he was getting out of the shower, Dean ran into Zach.

"Hey, Winchester. You're up early."

"Just, erm, needed to get out of that room."

"The dick sucker coming onto you?" Zach asked with genuine concern in his eyes, "He even think about it, just tell us. They won't get away with it. Not with our star running back."

"Nah, not him," Dean felt the need to protect Castiel. He wasn't sure what it was, but the guy didn't deserve to get beaten up for a kiss, "Just a few things."

Zach nodded, unconvinced. He stepped into the shower cubicle that Dean had just walked out of and then laughed, "Ah, dream about the ex by any chance?"

Dean winced, realizing he'd left the shower on cold. Luckily, Zach had given him the perfect get out of jail free card.

"Yeah," he lied, "I'll catch ya later, dude."

He didn't mind lying to Zach about this. He needed to, anyway. It wasn't like he could tell the football team that he was having dirty thoughts about his roommate. There was no way they would understand. Really, there wasn't anyone he could talk to.

Well, maybe there was. It would take a phone call, though. Right now, he'd just deal with it and get on with school. He just needed to put last night to the back of his mind and concentrate on the important things in life.

Lunch was the hardest part of the day for the first time in a while. As he walked over to the jock's table, he couldn't help but feel eyes from Castiel's friends on him. Had Castiel told them what had happened? Maybe he'd made it sound worse than it really was.

"Looks like the fags are checking you out, Winchester," Uriel laughed, motioning over to Castiel and his friends, "Your roommate has the hots for you."

"Whatever." Dean rolled his green eyes and just sat down. He didn't really like Uriel, but he put up with him. He had to considering they both played on the same team.

"How do you manage to share a room with that guy?" Raphael now asked, glancing over at the table and then back at Dean, "Don't you worry that he's gonna try jump your bones during the night."

"I can take him," Dean laughed, "He'd be the one getting the ass-raping if he even tried."

The jocks laughed at his joke, but Dean couldn't help feel a little wrong for saying it. Something about the whole conversation made him feel uneasy now that he knew Castiel's true feelings for him. It was something he would have to talk to his roommate about, but not right now. He needed to let the dust settle.

For a few days, everything seemed to settle down. Castiel wasn't talking to him, but Dean was sort of getting back to some sort of normality. He was back to training and was concentrating on his school work when he could.

Coach Harris had shocked him when he called him into the office one day. It turned out scouts were coming and Harris was pointing them in the direction of two players: Dean and Zach. They were the best on the team, and there was a chance that Dean could get a scholarship for college.

He'd not given that much thought before, but now realized that he should. College was never really an option for him before. He didn't know what to do, and he wasn't sure his parents even had the money for him to go. But the idea of a full ride through his football would be great. That was if he worked out what he wanted to do and where he wanted to go.

Dean placed his bag on the floor of his room, while he pulled out his cell phone. He had to tell someone about this, and the only person he could think of telling right now was his little brother. He quickly sent Sammy a text, knowing the 15-year-old would be in school at the moment, but at least he'd told someone.

As he pulled his books out of his bag, there was a knock at the door. It wasn't common for someone to knock at his door during the school day. He would usually get a text from the football team with the place to meet. When he did open the door, he frowned at the sight of Benny.

"Castiel isn't here."

"I know, brother," Benny said, holding his hand out on the door so it couldn't be closed in his face, "You and I need to talk."

"Erm, okay," Dean frowned, motioning for his roommate's friend to walk in. Dean closed the door and went back to emptying his school bag so he could get things in order for football practice, "I've got practice in 15, so make it quick."

"You're a jerk, you know that?" Benny didn't beat around the bush, and it took Dean aback. He looked up at the man who was now sitting on Castiel's bed, an angry expression forming over his features, "Cas made a pretty bold move and you ran off."

"So, he told you," Dean rolled his eyes, "Look I told Cas that I don't swing that way."

"But you still ran off?" Benny asked, "You know how upset he was? Of course he told me. Don't worry, he's only told me."

"Really? The looks your friends give me tells me something different."

"They just think you're a jackass," Benny shrugged their shoulders, "You actually seemed like a semi-decent guy. Sure you play football, but you don't get involved in the crap that they do. You haven't picked on Cas or any of us for that matter. But now I just see your a jerk in disguise. Were you just waiting for Cas to fall for you to break him?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Dean shook his head, "It was one kiss—and not one I asked for or sent any signals for."

"Really?" Benny asked with a laugh, "That's not what I heard. Cas said..."

"I'm not entertaining this. I got practice," Dean waved his hand, picking up his football kit and started walking out of the room, "Look, if he wants to talk, I'm here. But I'm not listening to this bullshit."

Dean walked out of the room, anger boiling up inside of him. How the hell could that guy tell him that he was a jackass? He was taking one side of the story and that was it. He was the jackass. As he walked through the door to the outside, he punched it with his fist, instantly regretting it. But he needed to do something.

He used his anger during training. His teammates didn't know what had come over him when he didn't hold back. It was like he was playing a game.

"Winchester!" Coach Harris called him over. Dean jogged over, looking behind his coach to see Castiel and Benny watching him. He frowned at the small audience, knowing they were the reason for his frustration.

"Yeah, Coach."

"You better play like that Friday night," he warned, "You're up against the Ravens and they're a piece of work."

"Hey, look, Winchester has a couple of groupies." Zach laughed, pointing out Castiel and Benny hanging out on the pitch. Coach Harris turned around and rolled his eyes, but Dean couldn't help but feel awkward about the whole thing.

Zach patted him on the shoulders, still laughing, "Better watch out tonight, Winchester."

"Get back to training, Newns," Coach Harris ordered and then turned back to Dean, "He can be an idiot. But I wanna see you play like you did in training on Friday. The scouts'll love ya."

"Sure thing, Coach." Dean smiled and then glanced back over at his roommate. The two were walking away now, and Dean couldn't help but frown deeply.

It didn't get any easy that evening. After a shower and dinner, Dean had to get on with some school work. Rather than do the work in his room, he'd agreed to meeting with a couple of the other guys and work in one of the classrooms. It would be a better idea than risk anything being said between him and Cas, or any of Cas' friends.

When he got to his room to pick up his school bag, Castiel wasn't there. It wasn't like the guy not to be in the room, but he wondered whether he was trying to avoid Dean now. Dean figured he'd do that if the roles were reversed at all.

Deciding not to take the chance that his roommate would come back soon, Dean picked up his school bag and rushed out of the room. He headed for the classroom that the team would usually work in, only to hear raised voices. What were his teammates up to now?

Rounding the corner to the classroom, Dean stopped in his tracks. Two of his teammates were facing Castiel, Benny and Speedy. Dean rolled his eyes at the situation, wanting to avoid it completely.

"You know this is where we work, you fags." Ezekiel warned the three boys.

"I don't see anything on the door that says only you guys can work her." Speedy fired back.

"Oh, c'mon guys. The room is big enough for all of us to work in." Dean growled from the doorway, putting his bag on the table and pulling his books out.

"You really want a group of fags working in here?"

"For one, they're not all fags," Dean sighed, "And for another, one of those is my roommate. You trying to make it even harder for me to be in that room?"

"Oh that's right," the other teammate, Cain laughed and looked at Castiel, "You're the one who wants to fuck our boy, ain't ya. Well, he's off limits, so don't get any dirty ideas."

"Guys!" Dean warned his football friends, shaking his head. It looked like a fight could break out, so Dean walked over and got between them, "Can we just get on with this. I can't afford my grades to slip any further."

"Let's go, guys." Castiel ushered his friends out of the room after Dean locked eyes with him. He was trying to look apologetic, while making it clear that he was not interested in games.

"We were here first, Cas." Speedy argued with his friend, but Castiel shook his head. It was time for them to go. Once the three of them left, Dean turned back to his two friends.

"You know, we could have taken them." Cain told Dean.

"We should have taken them." Ezekiel followed on.

Dean shook his head and went back to the desk, sitting down to get on with school work, "I need to concentrate on my grades. And I promised my folks I wouldn't get into anymore trouble."

"Oh, you are such a mommy's boy." Cain joked, to which Dean had to fire back about being expelled from three schools for beating the crap out of other guys.

"I've already put one guy in the hospital. I can easily put another guy in there, jock or not."

That seemed to get the message across. Cain and Ezekiel decided not to argue with the running back and sat down to get on with their own school work. This whole thing was turning into a huge issue, now.

* * *

**Like I said, it is a slow build-up because I want to make it realistic. There is some Cas/Dean action coming up in a few chapters, I promise.  
**

**But I'd love to hear what you think of this chapter! I thrive on reviews.**


	5. Chapter 5

**So, I've had lots more people favorite and follow this story, which is awesome. I'm glad you like it so much that you want to get the updates for the next chapter.  
**

**This follows on not that long after the previous chapter, and has a bit more Dean/Castiel action in it so I hope you enjoy!**

Chapter 5

"You didn't have to do that, Dean." Castiel's deep voice made Dean jump back as he walked into their shared room. He wasn't expecting anyone to be in there once he realized the room was dark. Dean turned the light on to see Castiel in his bed, playing on his cell phone.

"You scared the crap outta me, Cas." Dean sighed, placing the bag on the floor. He started to get ready for bed while they spoke.

"I'm sorry."

"No, I need to be sorry, man," Dean sighed, "They were jerks tonight and I've been a dick, too. I shouldn't have bolted when you kissed me. I was just...I was confused and, well, I run when I can't handle something. Always been my thing. You should speak to my exes about that."

"I shouldn't have kissed you." Castiel sat up in the bed, letting the covers drop around his waist. Dean swallowed as he looked over at the body of his roommate. It looked so smooth and innocent. He could...

Dean shook himself out of his thoughts, and unfastened his jeans. Suddenly, he felt subconscious about changing in front of his roommate. He quickly turned while he pulled offer his jeans and threw on his pajama bottoms.

"I should have known that you didn't feel the same way, but I thought...I guess I saw something that wasn't there." Castiel admitted, and Dean had to turn around to face him.

"No, look, don't apologize," Dean shook his head, "It took guts. Guts that I don't think I'd have had. But I'm not...I...well..."

"You're not gay," Castiel nodded his head, "Well, neither am I. I'm bisexual."

Dean didn't really want to have this conversation, and he retreated back to his bed and pulled off his t-shirt. Castiel sighed, mumbling something to himself. Dean frowned, asking him to clarify what he had said. He wanted to know if it was what it sounded like.

"I said you're a typical jock."

"Whoa! No I'm not a typical jock," Dean shook his head, offended by the remark, "If I was, I'd have let those two knuckleheads have their way with you and your friends. I didn't. I stopped them."

"Some stopping them," Castiel now stood up from the bed, locking eyes with Dean. God those blue eyes of Cas' were so mesmerizing, "You didn't exactly stand up for me, did you? You were a typical jock, just one not looking for a fight."

"So not a typical jock then, huh?" Dean shouted at his roommate, "Trust me, I can act like one if you want. You want me to let you get the crap beaten outta ya?"

"They've tried in the past." Castiel shrugged his shoulders, "It's not like I need a knight in shining armor, Dean."

"Well, you want me to do the beating? Because I can do," Dean warned the 17-year-old, "I would beat you so hard, you'd be flying into next week."

"You think you're so tough because you've gotten into fights in the past, don't ya?" Castiel asked, "I'd like to see you try."

"The last fight I got into, I put the guy in the hospital," Dean glared at his roommate. They were closer now with Castiel invading Dean's personal space yet again, "I can easily do it again. Or maybe you wanna end up in the morgue."

"Is that a threat, Winchester?" Castiel narrowed his eyes.

"Take it how you want, Novak." Dean fired back and waited. He waited to see what Castiel would say next. The problem was he didn't say anything next. Instead, Castiel locked lips with Dean, grabbing at his head to stop him from moving. Dean was taken aback, but soon collected his thoughts and pushed Castiel away from him.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Dean shook his head, wiping his mouth.

"You're telling me that you don't want it?" Castiel asked, "I've seen the way you look at me."

Dean couldn't argue with him. He had been looking at him and admiring his form a lot lately. Dean gulped as Castiel stepped towards him again.

"If you don't want it, tell me to walk away right now."

"Cas..." Dean shook his head, but couldn't tell him to leave. Part of him was screaming out for this. Instead of saying anything, Dean pulled Castiel towards him and locked lips with him again. This time, Dean fully participated in the kiss and God it felt good.

A knock at the door forced Dean to push his roommate away, and he quickly walked back over to his bed. Castiel looked at the door as it opened and the on-duty teacher looked in.

"Lights out, boys." The teacher smiled and then closed the door behind him. Both teenagers looked at each other now, wondering where to go from this moment.

"Dean..."

"Don't," Dean shook his head, "I'm...that...it can't happen again, you got it? And you can't tell anyone. You do and I will put you in the morgue."

That was all Dean said as he climbed into bed and left Castiel to turn the main light off. Once he was in a pitch black room, he thought back to the kiss and felt his dick semi-hard. It had felt so good, but so wrong at the same time. As he thought about how soft Castiel's lips were, his hand grabbed his dick and started moving up and down. He would cum at the thoughts of Castiel's lips all over his body.

* * *

"Hey Sammy, how are you?" Dean asked with a weak smile. The thoughts of the night before were still running through his head and he just had to talk to someone right now. He needed to get the thoughts off his mind.

"Hey, Dean. Why are you calling so early?"

"It's not that early," Dean laughed, looking over at the clock. It was just before 7am. Okay, so maybe it was early, "Can't I just chat to my little brother?"

"Dude, what's up?" Sam sighed, "School getting to you?"

Dean laughed at that comment. If only Sam knew the full truth, but his brother could never find out about this. Whatever "this" was, anyway. Dean didn't really know and he hated himself right now. He'd kissed Castiel last night and then told him that it could never happen again. Something that good had to happen again, right?

Dean put his phone on speaker while he got into his school uniform and heard all about Sam's time at home.

"Went on another date with Sarah last night," Sam informed his brother, "You got any tips for a third date?"

"You kissed her yet?" Dean asked, seeing how far his little brother had gone. Not that he wanted to think of his brother in that way, but he was intrigued.

"No, not yet," Dean could almost sense his brother blushing at that comment, "I guess that comes on the third date, then?"

"You know it does," Dean chuckled, "That's it though. Then you can think about going further."

Castiel walking into the bedroom caught Dean off-guard. He was fresh out of the shower again, and Dean inwardly groaned. His body looked so good.

"Sorry bro, but I gotta cut this short. Got breakfast to get to."

"Oh, nobody can get in the way of Dean Winchester and his food," Sam laughed, making Dean laugh along with him, "Speak to you later, bro."

Dean hung up the phone and grabbed his school bag, glancing again at Castiel, who was now in the room in his unbuttoned school pants. Dean couldn't help but rake his eyes up and down his roommate's body, subconsciously licking his lips.

"I won't tell anyone, Dean," Castiel said with bitterness in his voice, "You don't need to worry about your sordid secret."

Dean shook his head and walked out of the room. He couldn't think about that until after eating. But it kept playing on his mind. He couldn't concentrate on the conversation his teammates were having. They were saying something about tomorrow night's game, but he wasn't interested. He just wanted to work out his head.

He had kissed Castiel last night. Sure he was angry, but that didn't warrant a kiss. And it certainly didn't warrant a kiss like that. But he didn't know whether he felt more uncomfortable about the kiss or the fact that he'd got himself off thinking about Castiel's lips and tongue. If he could kiss like that, what could he do in other places?

Dean groaned rubbing his eyes.

"Everything alright, Winchester?"

"Fine, Newns," Dean sighed, "Bad night, that's all."

"That fag giving you problems? I told you we should have beat him last night." Cain tried to make his point, but Dean just glared at him.

"_Castiel_ didn't give me any problems," Dean frowned, "I just didn't sleep great. Guess I'm thinking about tomorrow night's game."

Dean saw the questioning look in Zach's eyes. He'd clearly defended his roommate by using his name and not the word "fag" but Dean couldn't stand hearing it. Sighing, he rubbed his face.

"Look, I just don't want any agro with my roommate, okay?" he tried to get himself around this. The last thing he needed was for Zach and the rest of the team to think that he was gay, too, "I'd like to just get through this year."

"Gotcha, man," Zach nodded with a smile, "Just let us know if he does start giving you shit. We'll back you up."

"We always back one of our own." Uriel smiled, with a sort of evil look in his dark eyes. Dean didn't want to know what that really meant.

Later in the day, it seemed the football players weren't going to let up on Castiel or his friends. It got to lunch and Cain purposely knocked Castiel's tray out of his hands. Garth was the next in line, and his tray was pushed into his body and face.

What did Dean do? He was an ass, if he was honest with himself. He just sat at his lunch table and watched it happen. He could see that the group were getting fed up of this shit, and all Dean could do was watch. The group around him laughed, and Dean couldn't help but laugh along. He had to if he wanted to fit in. And part of him wanted to laugh. It would serve Castiel right.

Dean Winchester wasn't gay. He didn't like guys and Castiel was making him like him in a more than friends way. There was no way that Dean could keep letting that happen.

It was only after one of his classes that Speedy ran into Dean—literally. The dark-haired 17-year-old pushed his way into Dean in the corridor, holding him up against the wall.

"You're a dick, you know that?" Speedy said, and Dean could see the crowd gathering around him. Doing the only thing he could do, Dean knocked Speedy's hands from him and then pushed him up against the locker.

"I'm not the one starting fights."

"Yeah, you're just the one not standing up for your own fucking roommate. What the fuck did Castiel do to you?"

Oh, wouldn't Speedy love to know. Dean shook his head and started walking away. He wasn't getting into this. The anger was building up within him. He wanted to punch this guy's lights out.

"You're not walking away, Winchester."

"Yes, I am. Unless you want to end up in the hospital."

"Try it," Speedy dared the teenager, "You'll be out of this school and then what would mommy dearest think of you? You're a useless, piece of crap who..."

"Speedy, give it a rest." Castiel rushed over, pushing Dean and Speedy apart. Dean glared at his roommate, rolled his eyes and then walked away. He was done.

At least he wanted to be, but heard the sound of footsteps following him when he rounded the corner. Dean picked up the pace to get to a quiet part of the school. Nobody was here yet, so whoever was following him could be dealt with quickly. Dean turned and raised his eyebrows to see Castiel had followed him.

"What do you want?" Dean shook his head.

"Look, I understand what you're feeling," Castiel sighed, "I remember feeling the exact same thing."

"The same thing?" Dean couldn't help but laugh, grabbing Castiel by the collar and pushing him up against the wall. Their faces were inches away from each other, "You have no idea."

"I know how torn you are," Castiel whispered, "It's okay to do what feels right."

Dean seemed to second guess the 17-year-old at first, but then looked around. There was nobody there, so Dean did the one thing that he felt would feel right. He kissed Castiel hard. This wasn't like the kiss last night. This was harsh and deep. Dean even brushed Castiel's lips with his tongue, encouraging the dark-hair boy to open up for him.

The kiss did feel right. It was passionate and sensual, at the same time. Dean feel good while doing it.

Then he rubbed his hips into his roommate's, making the other boy moan a little in pleasure. The present came back to him and he jumped back away from Castiel.

"If you know what's best for you, you'd walk away now." Dean warned the boy.

"Dean, you can talk to me about this."

"Get out of here, Castiel," Dean warned, not daring to look the boy in his eyes, "Oh God help me, I'll do something we'll both regret."

Castiel finally walked away, leaving Dean to run through all that in his mind again. What the fuck was this school doing to him? What was his roommate doing to him? He needed to get out of here! He didn't care where, but he needed to get out of here. This school was turning him, and he couldn't allow it.

* * *

**I know, its probably not the action that you all wanted, but I do want to keep this as realistic as possible. I don't see Dean just giving in and accepting this change. I'd love to know what you all think, though. I love reading feedback. **


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you to the many more who have followed and favorited this story. I love that you like it enough to do that. I'm sure you want to see more Castiel and Dean, and that is coming. I promise. I've actually finished this story, but I'm playing with an alternate ending right now. It took a very different turn than I expected and I'm not sure if I want it to take that turn. But I have time before sharing that part with you-just wanted to give you something to look forward to :)**

**Anyway, on with chapter six.**

Chapter 6

The next four weeks went by relatively easily. Dean spent as little time as he could in his room, and avoided Castiel dressing and undressing in front of him. Whenever there was the possibility that Castiel would be getting changed, Dean got out of the room, whether it was to the gym or for a shower. He was the cleanest senior in the school.

When Dean had to change, he only did it when Castiel wasn't in the room—and locked the door to make sure his roommate couldn't get in. If Cas was there, Dean would leave the room and change somewhere else. There were certainly benefits to being on the football team. At least the team locker room was always open.

It wasn't as difficult as he thought it would be, but it didn't really help his head that much. He found himself thinking about his roommate now and then. It didn't help that he shared classes with the boy, and would picture his toned abs underneath his white school shirt. He would picture what Cas could look like writhing underneath him, basing it all on that one moan.

Dean punched the bag again, trying to stop himself from thinking like this. Four weeks and he was still thinking about his roommate in a less than appropriate way.

_I remember the exact same feeling..._

Castiel had clearly been through this. No, Dean would not allow himself to admit that this was something he was going through. He didn't like boys. It was just this school. This Goddamn school.

Two more weeks. That's all he had to focus on. Two more weeks and he'd be home for Christmas.

_I know how torn you are._

Damn right he was torn. He wanted to beat the crap out of his roommate for making him feel this way, but at the same time he wanted to just kiss him everywhere. He wanted to protect Castiel from the football team.

They'd let off over the last couple of weeks. It seemed taunting the "fag" and his friends was no longer any fun. That helped make it a little easier for Dean. He could concentrate on his school work and playing football, but it didn't get rid of the full problem.

The sound of the door shutting caught Dean's attention, but he didn't stop with the punching bag. He just watched out of the corner of the room to see Benny walk into the gym. Dean rolled his eyes, and continued his training.

"You can't keep up the macho shtick for the whole year, brother." Benny informed him, grabbing the punching bag to keep it steady. Dean locked eyes with the boy, while he continued to punch at the bag.

"What would you know? Anyway, I thought you hated me."

"I've spoken to Cas," Benny shrugged his shoulders, "He told me about the dilemma you have. I get it now. Why you're being such a dick."

"You're gonna tell me that you went through this, too."

"No, but I know people who have," Benny told him, "There's no need to be ashamed of who you are, Dean."

"I'm not ashamed." Dean shook his head, continuing to beat the crap out of the punching bag. Part of him imagined Castiel's pretty face in its place. He could imagine punching the guy's lights out.

"You don't need to do this, brother."

Dean stopped and shook his head, "I'm not your brother, okay? My brothers are back home living a great life, while I'm stuck in this God forsaken place."

"You'll come to terms with it in your own time, but you'll probably lose one of the people who could help you right now," Benny held his hands up in defense, "Castiel has been where you are. Maybe you should talk to him, and stop worrying about that damned football team. They're not friends you'll want in a few years time, anyway."

With that, Benny just left. Dean shook his head, watching him leave. Damn did he want to beat the crap out of the guy.

Castiel was in the room when Dean got back from training. He'd decided to grab a shower up in the dormitories, but instantly regretted that decision. He should have gone down to the locker room, instead.

Sighing, he grabbed a towel, but then thought about the conversation he'd just had. Castiel must have said something to Benny for him to come find him and talk to him about it. That just wasn't on.

"Who do you think you are telling people about us?" Dean asked, staring at the boy, who was simply sitting on his bed reading a book. Castiel looked at him over the book.

"Are you talking to me?"

"Who else would I talk to, Sherlock?" Dean asked, "I just had an interesting conversation with Benny. Turns out you've been running your mouth off. I thought I told you that you weren't to tell anyone about us."

Castiel stood up from the bed calmly, but Dean wanted to get a rise out of him. He was pissed now.

"I warned you."

"Yes, you did, Dean," Castiel nodded, "But unlike you, I can talk to my friends about the things that bother me. I can tell them things. Benny won't tell anyone else."

"I don't care who he'll tell," Dean glared at the 17-year-old, "I told you not to tell anyone."

Dean shoved Castiel back, forcing him to stumble backwards towards the small desk by the wall. Closing the gap created by them, he got back into Castiel's face.

"I don't expect you to go breaking my rules."

"Why should I protect your dirty little secret, Dean?" Castiel laughed, "I don't owe you anything, and I'm not ashamed."

"You think I'm ashamed? What the hell could I be ashamed of?"

"Of being gay."

"I am NOT gay!" Dean grabbed the shorter boy's collar, pulling him towards him.

"Okay, bisexual. There is nothing wrong with it, Dean."

Dean's breathing was heavy and quick. He released Castiel's collar with one hand, raising it to punch him. Castiel winced slightly, and it didn't go unmissed by Dean. It made him think again. Instead of going after Castiel, Dean grabbed the back of his head and pulled him into a kiss.

He could feel Cas kiss him back, and that made Dean push his tongue into the boy's mouth. Castiel moaned as Dean rubbed his hips into his own, making Dean pull away.

"You make a sound and I'll beat the crap out of you." Dean warned and then pulled him back in for a kiss.

It seemed that Castiel wasn't going to take it, though. He pushed Dean back and glared at him.

"You don't get to act like this," Castiel shook his head, "You don't get to kiss me when the moment feels like it. You either want to be with me or you don't. It's either or."

"Why?" Dean asked, shaking his head with a confused look on his face.

"You really have to ask me that, Dean?" Castiel shook his head, "I'm not asking you to come out to your friends. But I am asking you to stop being so hot and cold. When we're together, you either want to be with me or you don't. We're not doing this back and forth all the time. It's not fair on me to do this. You know that."

Dean frowned. He knew that he was being a complete jackass to the guy, but he was struggling. He didn't know what these feelings meant, and he couldn't get it around his head that he could possibly like guys. How could he, at 17, all of a sudden decide that girls weren't his only interest?

"Look, I get that it's confusing for you," Castiel sighed, a softness in his blue eyes, "I really do. It's a lot to take in, but you need to come to terms with it in your own time. Until you do that, I'm not gonna be here for you to kiss and then threaten. The balls in your court now, Dean."

And with that, Castiel left the room. Dean was left on his own, wondering what the hell was going on. And he didn't know whether to be angry or impressed with the way his roommate had stood up to him.

Dean shook himself out of his thoughts and stormed out of the room. He had more to say to Castiel. Much more to say. He had questions, and he wanted answers right now.

He wasn't sure where Castiel had gone, but could take a few guesses. Storming into Benny and Speedy's room, he looked around. Speedy was the only one there, and looked at Dean with a frown.

"What do you want?" Speedy sneered at the football player.

Dean rolled his green eyes, "Where is he?"

"Who?"

"Cas. Where the fuck is he?"

"Not here," Speed shrugged his shoulders, causing Dean to slam the door and walk down the corridor, "Hey!"

Dean didn't stop hearing Speedy rushing after him, but he was soon forced to. Dean felt a hand on his shoulder and then he was roughly turned and pushed against the wall.

"You can't just barge into people's rooms, you know." Speedy warned him, but Dean wasn't interested in an argument. He pushed the teenager away and tried to walk away. The problem was Speedy wasn't letting him walk away from this. The dark-haired boy held Dean back, finally placing his forearm across his chest.

"You don't wanna set me off, man." Dean warned, his voice low and threatening.

"Oh maybe I do," Speedy threatened back, "I'm not letting you go after Castiel like this. He doesn't need your shit."

"I didn't need his shit," Dean argued back, "I didn't ask for any of it."

"What the hell are you talking about? You're the one that's been a dick to him."

"For good reason," Dean shot back, pushing Speedy back again. It was clear Castiel hadn't told his friends the truth about what happened and why Dean was acting so shady, "Now fuck off before I do something you regret."

"Oh hell no!" Speedy shouted, as other teenagers started walking out of their rooms. Dean really didn't want an audience for this. He just wanted to find Castiel to ask him one simple question, "What's your good reason, 'cuz I don't see any reason good enough for you to be a dick to Cas. He's not done anything to you."

"Not done anything?" Dean laughed, "Yeah, right. You have no fucking idea what he's done."

"He said he helped you with some school work and then you fucked off without even a thank you," Speedy shouted, "You jocks are all alike. Next you'll be getting Cas to do your work for you. You're just a jerk."

Dean had had enough. He shook his head with a humorless laugh and punched Speedy in the face.

"You might wanna ask him what really happened," he warned, "Ask the fag about him fucking kissing me. Now tell me I don't have a good enough reason."

Speedy was still in shock from being punched, but it was clear the admission didn't help. Dean used his chance to walk away, pushing past one of the juniors now in the corridor. _Great, that news is gonna spread_, Dean thought to himself, but at that moment he didn't really care. He just needed to get out of there.

* * *

**Uh oh...I'd really like to know what you think of this story. The follows and favorites are great, but I'd like to get some feedback. What do you think and what would you like to see? **


	7. Chapter 7

**Still no reviews recently but still people favoriting, so thank you for that. I'm so happy to hear that you like it enough to get the updates. That tells me a lot. Here's the next chapter and it's following on from the aftermath of the last chapter. I hope you enjoy!  
**

Chapter 7

Dean wasn't sure where he was heading at first. He just needed to get out of the school and think. News was spreading quickly. Why should he be surprised? Enough people had heard what he'd said to Speedy, and they would have text it to all their friends. Dean wouldn't be surprised if the football team had heard all about it by now. He was actually surprised the team hadn't text him, yet.

When Dean put his hands in the pocket of his trousers, he sighed. Maybe they had but he'd left his phone back in his room. Oh well, he could do with getting away right now.

He kept walking until he saw the familiar, rundown hut. His subconscious had brought him here for some reason. He wasn't really sure why, but he wasn't really complaining. It should be empty and would be a good place to think.

Opening the door, he heard movement. Were there rats out here? Maybe. Dean wasn't sure.

"Who's there?" A voice called out from the dark, and Dean would recognize that voice anywhere. He sighed, closing his eyes. Not only would he not be alone, but he'd also be in the room with the one guy that he hated right now.

_I don't hate, Cas,_ Dean thought to himself with a sigh and then closed the door as he stepped into the cabin.

"It's me."

"What do you want?" Cas asked, with a bitterness in his voice, "Here to play with my mind some more?"

"Me play with your mind?" Dean asked with a laugh, "That's rich. Pot. Kettle. Black, buddy."

Dean saw movement that looked like Cas wiping his face. It made him frown and he felt concerned.

"Are you crying?"

"No." Cas said stubbornly, but his voice betrayed him. Dean had heard it catch, making it clear that he was crying. He wanted to say that he was sorry, but what was he really sorry for? Making him cry? Kissing him and the being a jerk afterwards? He wasn't really sure.

"You didn't have to tell the whole school, you know." Cas broke the silence as Dean sat down on one of the small wooden benches.

"Tell the whole school what?"

"That I kissed you," Cas sighed, "Speedy text me about it. You know, I wouldn't have betrayed your trust. I never told anyone that you kissed me..."

"I didn't mean to tell everyone. I'm sorry," Dean sighed, rubbing his face with his hand, "It slipped out. Speedy pissed me off and was making me out to be the bad guy. Look, I never wanted any of all this to happen. I...well...why the fuck did you kiss me, Cas?"

"I read the signs wrong." Castiel simply said, making Dean nod his head.

"But why not talk to me about it first?" Dean asked, "Do you have any idea how confused I am right now. Before I got here, before I met you, I didn't like guys. And...and then you kissed me and...God, Cas..."

"I am sorry, Dean," Castiel sighed, "I didn't mean to confuse you, but there must have been something there for you to get confused."

"Cabin fever." Dean suggested, but he knew how stupid that sounded.

Castiel sighed and stood up from his seat on the floor. Dean just watched as he walked over to him and sat down, "It's not cabin fever. I know how you feel, trust me."

Dean leaned forward and placed his head in his hands. Then there was a feeling of a hand on his back. Castiel was rubbing his back gently, and it felt so good. It was comforting, helpful and sensual all at the same time. Was all this just because he was stuck in this school, or did he have genuine feelings for this guy? It certainly felt like genuine feelings, but he'd never felt anything like this for a guy before.

Dean needed to know and there was one way to do that. He looked into Castiel's mesmerizing blue eyes and quickly pulled him in for a kiss. This was different to other kisses. It wasn't forced or angry. It was soft, gentle and light. It was a test for both of them, really.

Castiel's mouth opened slightly, allowing Dean to snake his tongue into it. Their tongues battled for dominance inside Castiel's mouth, and then Dean pulled away. He was actually out of breath after that. Since when did he get out of breath from one kiss?

"Dean..."

"Please, Cas..." Dean shook his head and pulled his roommate in for another kiss. This time, Castiel was the one to snake his tongue into Dean's mouth, and Dean wasn't going to fight it. In fact, he pulled the 17-year-old closer to him, shifting his body so he could rub his right leg on the inside of Cas' left leg. A moan escaped Cas' mouth, and for once Dean didn't feel completely creeped out. He enjoyed it, and wanted to hear more.

But Cas was the one to break them apart, "I said I can't keep doing this. And after you told everyone."

"I'm sorry about that," Dean frowned, "But please, one step at a time. I want to try this but...well..."

"We can't tell anyone else." Castiel finished the sentence from him. There was a torn look of understanding and disappointment in the blue eyes of his angel, and Dean couldn't help but frown.

"It would be social suicide for me," Dean pointed out, "But I guess I do like this."

He knew it sounded selfish. He was just thinking of himself right now, but Castiel deserved better. Sighing, Dean stood up and ran his hand through his gelled blonde hair.

"Look, I get it if you don't want this. Whatever this is," he looked at everywhere except the boy, "You deserve a guy who is proud to be with you. Not someone experimenting in Narnia. But, well, if you do..."

He now looked over to Castiel, who looked deep in thought. Licking his lips, Dean just nodded once and started walking out of the hut, "I'll let you think about it. But know that I do know what I would like to do."

With that, Dean left his roommate to think about what he'd just admitted. Part of him couldn't believe he'd just admitted all that. He'd admitted to Castiel that he liked him. Did he like him? He wasn't really that certain, but he did want to experiment. It didn't seem completely wrong—okay, there was a part of him screaming at him for even considering kissing a guy.

As he reached the school again and started passing students, he saw all eyes on him. There were whispers that would stop as he walked past them. Had they heard about the events in the hut? Had Castiel got his own back and told everyone everything? He wouldn't blame him if he did. It would serve Dean right for being a royal jackass.

"Winchester, where've you been? We've been texting you!" Uriel now called out as Dean walked to his room. He was just about to make up a lie when Zach stepped forward and clasped him on the shoulder.

"I can't believe what that fag did! You should have said," Zach spoke, leading Dean to his own room, "Seriously, man. No wonder you've been so moody lately. I'd have punched the guy's lights out."

"You stayed calmer than any of us," Raphael nodded, "Unless...is that what you were just doing? Do we have a body that we need to hide?"

"We'd help," Cain now nodded, as Dean realized that most of the team were crowded in Zach's room. Being the quarterback of the team, he had the privilege of a single room and the team certainly made use of it, "Especially that fag."

"No body," Dean shook his head with a frown. He couldn't believe how much these guys were dicks, but part of him liked them for it. He liked the fact that they stuck together, even if it was against his roommate, "I just...I guess I didn't really want to admit to myself that it had happened. Look, can we talk about something else?"

"Sure, thing," Zach grinned, "You know I got a text from Tammi. She said that Cassie was asking if you'd be free after Friday night's game. Shall I give Tammi your number so Cassie can text you?"

Dean smirked as all eyes landed on him. Cassie and Tammi were cheerleaders from the all-girls school, the cheerleaders that cheered for the boys at every single game. Dean and Cassie had been chatting for a while, and hadn't swapped numbers. Dean wasn't really that interested right now, but knew that if he said no there'd be questions.

Nodding his head, he saw the grins on all the boys' faces. This was the way to stay in the good books with the football team. Maybe it would help push the thoughts of Castiel to the back of his mind.

"Looks like someone is getting laid Friday night." Raphael laughed along with the boys, and all Dean could do was shrug. What could he say? He was a ladies' man, after all.

* * *

Friday night rolled around quickly. There was just one week left of the semester, and it was the final game of the year. They'd lost the previous week's game, so they needed this win. More scouts were here, and Dean needed to make a good impression. Once he was kitted up, he ran out to the pitch with his teammates, glancing over to the cheerleaders to see Cassie watching him.

He gave her a wink before going over to the bench and huddling with his teammates. Cassie had been texting him through the week, and Dean couldn't help but text her back. She was good looking, and her chocolate skin was exotic, but Dean wasn't fully into it. He wasn't sure what put him off right now, but he was going to force his way through this. He couldn't let anyone on that he was starting something with his roommate.

The week hadn't been great for Castiel. All the students had heard about his attempt at kissing Dean, but he'd taken it all with grace. He'd ignored the jeers and the taunts, but it hadn't made it easy to share a room with the guy. They still hadn't spoken about what Dean had said in the hut, and Dean took that as a sign that he wasn't interested.

"What's the fag and his groupies doing here?" Uriel's voice caught his attention.

"Think he's here to watch Winchester in action?" Ezekiel questioned with a laugh.

"Oh, Dean, please...fu...fu...fuck me, Dean. I want you so bad." Cain pretended to touch himself all over his body, as if it was someone else's hands all over him. The team laughed, and Dean couldn't help but chuckle. Cain did look like an idiot, but it was at his roommate's expense. He wished the news of the kiss hadn't gotten out now.

"Guys..." Dean called them off.

"Oh, look, Winchester's embarrassed," Uriel now pointed out.

"Creeped out more like." Dean pointed out, but couldn't help but look over at Castiel and his friends. Castiel was looking directly at him, with a look that Dean couldn't quite make out. Sighing, he turned back to his teammates as Coach Harris walked over to talk about tactics. It was time to get his head in the game.

But Dean couldn't get his head in the game for some reason. He knew he had to. The scouts were here to see him and Zach play. If he wanted to go to college—he still wasn't sure—this was his best option. They were playing the local rival team, but they could beat their asses easily. All he had to do was keep his head in the game.

"Stop thinking about fucking the cheerleader and get your head in the game, Winchester." Zach shouted at his teammate when he fumbled the third pass of the game.

When Coach Harris called a time-out, Dean was relieved. He needed something to get him to focus again.

"Hey, Winchester, we heard you were shit hot. Turns out you're just shit." One of the other team shouted at him.

Dean just rolled his eyes, while one of his own teammates shouted something offensive back. Dean wasn't even sure what it was. He didn't really care.

"Keep fumbling, Winchester," now another shouted out, "We'll happily take the game from you."

"Yeah and it'd be the only way you'd win." Zach shouted back.

"Newns!" The Coach warned the quarterback, just as the other team argued that they'd be able to win anyway. Of course, it started a battle between the two teams, shouting across the pitch at each other.

"Maybe Winchester is thinking about getting a royal ass-fucking later."

That was it. Dean glared at the other team and rushed over to grab the culprit who said it.

"The only one who will be getting an ass-fucking later is you if you don't shut your mouth."

"So he gives and receives. Such a gentleman." Dean pushed the kid back and then punched him in the gut. By now, the rest of his team had rushed over to hold Dean back from doing anymore damage. The ref had also rushed over, making it clear that both teams were getting penalties for their unsportsman like conduct.

But it wasn't over. The kid laughed about Dean needing the big strong arms of his teammates to hold him, and that set the St. Benedict's Sharks off. Uriel grabbed the culprit as both teams got into a full scrap on the pitch. The ref and two coaches rushed over to break up the fight. It took a good five minutes, but eventually the players walked away. Both teams received the threat of the whole game being called off if they didn't learn to keep it all to the game.

"They're not worth us losing out on the win, guys," Dean shouted at them, "Let's get back to this."

After that fight, Dean was out for blood though. His head was definitely back in the game, and he was going to make sure his team won. He eyed Zach and knew they were both on the same team. They were going to make the rival team wish they hadn't even started jeering the Sharks.

Dean did pick up his game after that. It turned out the fight was enough to get the thought of Castiel and his team picking on him off his mind. He just wanted to cream the other team. The downside to the fight was that the scouts weren't interested. Dean had seen they'd left shortly after the fight, and he didn't blame them. They didn't need two angry, fighting teenagers on their college team. There'd be more scouts, though, Dean kept telling himself. There had to be more scouts.

If there weren't, at least his choice of going to college or not would be made up for him. He wouldn't be able to go if he didn't get a full ride.

"Nice game in the end, Dean." Cassie complemented the 17-year-old as they made their way back to the showers. Dean looked at her and smirked.

"Thanks. There was some nice cheering out there," he decided now was the perfect time to flirt, "Say, how long you gonna be around for?"

"Bus leaves in an hour." Cassie answered his question with a smirk. He could tell she already knew what he was going to ask her next.

"Give me a chance to shower quickly and maybe we can hang out."

"Sounds good to me, Dean."

Dean grinned with a wink before walking into the locker room. Most of the boys had already showered, deciding to hang out with their own cheerleaders that they'd got with. As Dean entered, Cain and Zach caught his eye with smirks.

"Getting laid tonight, Winchester?"

"I'm working on it, boys." Dean laughed before stripping off and jumping into the showers. He wasn't going to take his time. He needed this with Cassie. Needed to feel something other than the confusion for the feelings he had for Castiel. It was like he needed to prove something to himself.

Once he was done, he dressed and left the changing rooms to find Cassie with what remained of her cheerleader friends in one of the common rooms. He just leaned up against a door while he caught her attention. It was Tammi who pointed towards the door, making Cassie realize that her boy for the night was there.

Cassie did look good, Dean had to admit that. He wanted her. Those curves, her breasts, her curly black hair. He just wanted every part of her.

They weren't supposed to take girls up to their rooms when the sister school would visit, but Dean wasn't one for sticking with rules. If he got caught, then fuck it. He needed to get laid tonight if it was the last thing he did.

Luckily Castiel wasn't in the room. Dean presumed he'd gone to one of his friends' rooms, possibly pre-empting Dean coming here with Cassie. Castiel must have looked at how Dean kept glancing at the cheerleader throughout the night, and the seductive winks he threw at her. Of course, he kept glancing at Cas too. He couldn't help but look at those mesmerizing blue eyes.

Cassie's lips on his soon pulled him out of his thoughts. Her kisses weren't gentle. They were urgent. She needed this too, and she didn't have much time. Dean had taken a little longer than expected in the shower, and they realistically had 20 minutes to fuck. Little time for foreplay, which Dean didn't really care about.

When he ran his fingers up the inside of her right thigh, he heard her moan. She wrapped her left leg around him, giving him access to roll his hips into the gap. She moaned again, making Dean smile against her lips. Soon, his hands were feeling over her panties, which were already damp. God, she wanted him right now.

Quickly pulling her cheerleading uniform off, Dean laid her on the bed and then pulled his own clothes off. This wasn't going to be romantic, but something told him that Cassie didn't want that either. She went to an all-girl's boarding school; in the same situation as him. She wanted to get laid tonight, and wanted it right now.

Dean pulled a condom out of his wallet—Zach had passed him a couple that night to make sure he was ready for this—and put it on before delving deep inside of her.

As he moved in and out, he couldn't help but think about Castiel. Part of him believed it was just because he wondered whether the blue-eyed angel would walk into the room at any point, but he also knew deep down it was because he wanted him. Dean could imagine doing this to his roommate. Pounding in and out, getting closer and closer to his orgasm.

Cassie was writhing underneath him, feeling the pleasure of Dean's cock inside of her. Smirking, he moved his lips to her neck and ear while he continued pounding in and out as quick and hard as possible. Her legs gripped around him tight, and it just helped him get to his orgasm closer.

"Oh, God!" Cassie moaned, as the position was just right for her, "Dean...I'm...Oh God!" Cassie moaned as her muscles tightened around Dean's cock and then her whole body shuddered. Her release wasn't quite what he needed. He was still going, and he looked into her eyes while he continued pounding in and out.

No, her eyes were putting him off. He went back to her neck, kissing and licking at it. From there, he could imagine pounding in and out of Castiel's tight ass. He guessed it was going to be tight anyway. It better be. Dean's release was finally getting there.

As he came hard inside Cassie, he couldn't help but let a name escape, "Cas..." He moaned, thanking the Gods that he could pass it off as a shorter version of this girl's name.

He waited for his orgasm to subside, before looking back into her eyes. Nothing was said between them as Dean rolled off the cheerleader and got his breath back. Cassie rolled over to trace a hand over Dean's chest, and he couldn't help but groan—and not in a good way. The last thing he wanted was a relationship with this girl. It was all about the sex for him.

Dean decided to make that clear by getting up from the bed and taking the condom off. He tied it up and threw it in the trash, before pulling his boxers back on. The girl got the message and pulled her own clothes back on.

"I think we should do this at the next game." Cassie winked. Maybe she hadn't got the message.

"Yeah, maybe," Dean nodded, and pulled all his clothes back on. Once they were dressed, they made their way back out of the room, bumping into Castiel. The blue-eyed roommate was sitting on the windowsill in the hallway, waiting patiently to get into the room. How long had he been there? "Oh, hey Cas."

"Dean." Castiel nodded once and then walked into the bedroom.

"Your roommate?" Cassie asked, with raised eyebrows, "Is that the guy who tried to kiss you?"

"It got around your school, too?" Dean looked at her in shock. Did anyone not know what had happened?

"Zach text Tammi about it," Cassie shrugged her shoulders, "And Cain text Ava; Ezekiel Claire, you get my drift."

Dean nodded his head, with a less than impressed expression. The last thing he wanted was for the sister school to get wind of the incident involving his roommate.

They reached the parking lot, walking the rest of the way in silence. The bus was waiting for the cheerleaders to get on it, but most of them were standing with their own boys making out with them. Dean felt the pressure to show Cassie the same attention.

"So, text me?" Cassie asked with a smile, looking up into Dean's green eyes.

"Yeah." Dean nodded with a smile, not really committing to a timeline. He gave her a kiss, snaking his tongue in for a few seconds, before patting her on the ass. She squealed a little, catching the attention of Tammi and Ava. They giggled as Cassie smiled at Dean and walked to the bus. Dean just offered a small wave as the girls got on and the bus pulled away.

"Okay, so we have a win to celebrate!" Zach shouted out, "My room or you're a loser!"

"I'm gonna hit the hay," Dean shook his head, deciding that he wanted to spend the night on his own—well, in the presence of his roommate on his own, "The energy is just leaving me."

"Winchester knocked out by a girl?" Uriel laughed, patting the 17-year-old on the back, "Now that I didn't think I'd see. Shoulda guessed, really."

"Hey, it was just that good," Dean shrugged his shoulders, "I, for one, am definitely not complaining."

He walked backwards flipping the boys off as they joked about him being weak, before turning to make his way back to his room. He owed Castiel an apology, clearly. His roommate had clearly wanted to come into the room, but had heard something going on instead. He didn't really want to piss the guy off after expressing his feelings earlier.

When he did get back, he was surprised to see Castiel still up, reading a book in bed. God, he could be such a nerd at times.

"Good night?" Castiel asked, looking up from the book.

"Yeah, I guess." Dean shrugged his shoulders, glancing down at his bed. It was still left in the unmade mess from sex, and he felt uneasy about just climbing into it. It was covered in Cassie's sweat, and he could see the odd hair that had fallen out.

With a heavy sigh, Dean pulled the sheets off, seeing a confused look on Castiel's face. He dropped the dirty sheets in the corner of the room for now, and put a fresh set on. That was better. A nice clean bed.

"I'm sorry for walking in on you, by the way." Castiel now said, as Dean sat on his bed. The 17-year-old Winchester frowned and looked at his roommate. Walking in? Had that happened? "You didn't realize? I shouldn't have said anything."

"No, I didn't realize," Dean shook his head, "I'm sorry. I should have locked the door, but I thought...well...I guess I thought you were with your friends or something."

"I was," Castiel nodded, "But I left them early. I wasn't expecting you to be up here with...I'm sorry, I don't know your girlfriend's name."

"Cassie's not my girlfriend, dude," Dean laughed, "Just a girl who was giving it up for the night."

Dean frowned as he heard himself speak. That made him sound like an insensitive jerk; the jackass that Cas' friends kept telling him he was. But when he thought about it, that was the way that he always thought about the girls he slept with back at his old school. There was only really Lisa that he considered a girlfriend, but really it was all sex between them. Had been from that first house party they got together at.

"You look deep in thought." Castiel pointed out with a frown.

"I'm just..." Dean started but then felt uncomfortable. He couldn't open up to his roommate, "You know what, never mind. I'm not really into the whole chick-flick moments."

"Chick-flick moments?"

"You know, the talking about our feelings and all that jazz?"

Castiel laughed once before shaking his head with a small smile. Dean frowned as he heard him mumble something, but couldn't quite make it out.

"What was that?"

Castiel seemed in two minds about whether to repeat it, and then finally gave in, "I just said how typical it was of you. I'd come to a decision about what you said in the hut by the way. But I guess you've decided that you're not interested in that, anymore."

"What?" Dean frowned, "What gives you that idea?"

"You were with that cheerleader."

"Yeah, as a quick..." Dean started but shook his head, "It didn't mean anything, Cas. What decision did you make?"

"I decided that we can try this out. I'm willing to wait for you to get the confidence to admit about your sexuality to yourself and others. But I'm not just going to sleep with you..."

"I don't want that right now, dude," Dean held up his hands in defense, "Hell, I'm not sure how far I want to take this. As I said, I wanna take it slow. But you're on board with that? I thought you didn't want to be a dirty little secret?"

"There are conditions," Castiel sighed, "You can't get angry at me for what you feel. I'm not going to take that shit. And I need you to try be honest with me about your feelings."

Dean frowned. They weren't bad conditions. He could do that. He could stick to Cas' conditions to see where this led. Maybe it was all just part of being stuck in this boarding school and when he got home next week it would all go away. He could only pray and hope!

"Okay," Dean nodded his head, realizing that Castiel was still waiting for an acknowledgement of the conditions, "I can agree to that. I can try, anyway."

"Good," Castiel nodded and then placed his book on his nightstand and slide down into his covers, "Will you get the light?"

"Sure. Goodnight, Cas." Dean smiled with a single nod of his head.

"Goodnight, Dean."

Dean turned out the light and then climbed into his own bed. He couldn't help but smile to himself as he went to sleep hearing his roommate's light snores.

* * *

**I know that scene probably wasn't the one that you wanted to see, but I just had to throw it in. Peer pressure and his confusion would have led to Dean sleeping with Cassie.  
**

**But I'd love to know what you thought about the chapter, and the conditions Castiel has put on his relationship with Dean.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Thank you everyone for leaving your reviews for the last chapter. I know that you're not completely happy with how much of a jerk Dean is being, and think Cas should have brought up another condition. Maybe he should, and maybe it will come later...for now, sleeping around isn't a condition Cas has, partially because he knows Dean's personality (or some of it).  
**

**Anyway, it's time for a bit of drama just to make Dean's head even worse. If you've ready any of my other stories, you'll know that I'm not exactly kind to my main characters. I like throwing them curve balls...**

Chapter 8

News of the fight on the football pitch had reached the principal. Of course it had. Dean was actually surprised that the principal wasn't there for the last game of the year, but he obviously had something better to do. But this was why Dean, Zach and the rest of the football team were crowded in Principal Evans' office, looking at him as he glared at each of them.

"If I hear of you getting into one more fight, the season will be over for all of you. I don't care if you're on a winning streak or if some of you are hoping scouts will spot you. Acting like Neanderthals isn't going to get you picked up for any college teams. I suggest you all get your anger in check, understood?"

"Yes, sir." All the boys nodded.

"Right, go on—get to class."

Dean sighed, following his teammates out of the room and back into the corridor. At least he wasn't being expelled again. Not that the other team didn't deserve everything they got. Dean was a little more annoyed that he didn't get to knock the team's quarterback out for his remarks.

"Right, so Christmas and New Year," Zach had already moved on from the telling off, ignoring the fact that it had happened. He seemed sure enough that there was no way the principal would call quits on their season. It wouldn't make sense for the school, "As usual, my family is hosting a New Year's Eve party and you're all invited again."

Dean watched as the boys made it clear that they would be there.

"Dean, I'll text you my address. You live in Lawrence, right?"

When Dean nodded his head, Zach smiled, "It's not that far from you really. About an hour's drive if you're up for it. You can crash at mine overnight."

"It's an awesome night." Raphael now confirmed, "Plenty of pussy you could want."

"I'll see, man," Dean nodded with a small laugh, "Gotta speak to the folks about it first. We tend to have family over at New Year, but I'll see what I can do."

Zach seemed to be happy with that answer and continued walking down the corridor. Dean wasn't sure about whether he really wanted to go. Despite easily fitting into the team easily, he never quite felt like he belonged. Not when it came to the social settings. But part of him knew that it was his feelings for Castiel causing that. He would never be able to tell any of the team that he thinking about his roommate in sinful ways. They'd never understand.

He parted ways with the majority of the team, except Zach, as they walked into their physics class. Cas was already at his desk, looking up to see Dean walk past.

"Take a picture, Novak," Zach said, "It'll last longer."

Castiel quickly looked back down, and Dean found himself sniggering at the comment. He had to admit that it was a little funny. But he knew his roommate wouldn't see the funny side of things.

Dean pulled out his cell phone from the pocket of his school trousers and started texting.

_Ignore him, dude. He's a waste of space._

_D_

He put his phone back in his pocket and watched Castiel pull his own phone out of his pocket to check the message that had just come through. Dean smiled as he saw his roommate texting in reply. As Castiel put his phone back in his pocket, Dean held off checking. The last thing he needed was anyone to jump to the conclusion that they were texting each other.

After a couple of minutes, Dean pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and checked the message that had come through.

_I know. You didn't need to laugh, though._

Castiel didn't sign his name, and Dean knew that the 17-year-old was pissed. With a sigh, Dean quickly sent another text message apologizing. He hit send, just as his teacher walked in. There was no time for Castiel to check his own phone and all Dean could do was put his phone back in his pocket. This conversation would need to wait.

* * *

"So, mom said I can come with her to pick you up," Sam said over the phone. Dean could hear the excitement in his little brother's voice, and he had to admit that he was excited too. He and Sammy were closed, and he missed the little knucklehead, "We'll be there Friday afternoon."

"That's great," Dean replied, leaning back against the wall while sitting on his bed. His knees were drawn up as he rested his elbows on them, "It'll be good to see you. How are Adam and Charlie?"

"They're good," Sam replied, "Miss you lots."

Castiel walked into the room while Dean was on the phone to his brother talking about random things and hearing about the trouble his adopted sister was causing. Dean couldn't help but watch Castiel move around the room, getting changed out of his school uniform. Classes were over for the day and it was their free time.

Dean had already stripped out of his clothes and was currently sitting on his bed in just a pair of sweats. As Castiel stripped to his boxers, Dean swallowed hard. He could see his roommate's muscles in his back. He wasn't built like Dean, but he was toned and there was certainly muscle there. Dean sighed as he felt himself getting hard checking out his roommate.

"You okay, Dean?" Sam's voice pulled Dean out of his thoughts. Damn it, he hadn't heard a word his brother had said since Cas started stripping.

"Yeah, Sammy," Dean replied, "Look, erm, I gotta go but I'll see you Friday, okay?"

"Yeah, Dean. Bye."

Dean hung up the phone as Castiel turned towards him. He didn't want to move as he tried to will his boner away, but it stayed. The more Dean looked at Castiel and thought about running his hands all over that toned body, the harder Dean got.

"I'm sorry," Castiel muttered, as if he realized the effect he was having on the 17-year-old, "I'll be two minutes. I know you don't..."

"Don't worry about it, Cas." Dean finally managed to say and shifted uncomfortably on the bed. Castiel now frowned and tilted his head to one side. The confused expression looked so sexy. All Dean wanted to do...

Dean groaned and stood up, rushing over to his roommate. He took his head in both hands and pulled him into a kiss. Castiel moaned into the kiss, and it just helped Dean get even harder. He couldn't help but push his hips into his roommates, groaning at the feel of Castiel's own hard on.

Just as Dean was about to pull away—force himself away—Castiel placed his hands on Dean's hips and pulled him closer. Cas' tongue sought entrance into Dean's mouth, and he couldn't help but allow it. They fought for dominance in Dean's mouth, before Dean won. Dean was just moving his hands into Castiel's messy black hair when there was a knock at the door.

The two roommates jumped apart quickly as the door opened. Cas rushed to his closet to pull some clothes out, while Dean placed his hands on his desk, looking out of the window. He went back to willing his boner away—dead cats, grandma naked...

"Hey, Cas. You ready to go?" Speedy's voice spoke, making Dean roll his eyes. Of course it had to be him. Dean and Speedy hadn't said a word to each other since the last incident. The guy had avoided their room and Dean had no reason to go anywhere near Cas' friend. It made it a hell of a lot easier to avoid fights when both clearly couldn't be bothered with each other.

"I'll be there in a minute." Cas said and Dean could almost picture a smile playing on his lips. No, he couldn't think about his roommate right now.

The door closed, and Dean turned back around. He could see Castiel now in a pair of jeans, pulling a black plain t-shirt on over the top.

"I'm going down to the hut," Castiel explained, grabbing his running shoes to put them on, "You are welcome to join me..."

"I don't think Speedy would say that," Dean laughed, shaking his head, "I've got stuff to do anyway. I'll catch ya later."

Dean sighed as he sat back on his bed running the last few minutes through his head. He had it bad. His roommate attracted him and that couldn't be a good thing.

* * *

The last week of school went without too many incidents. Most of the teachers knew their students wouldn't want to listen, so arranged for videos and presentations for their final few lessons.

Dean realized that he was thinking more and more about Castiel. The boy was even getting into his dreams, and Dean couldn't help feel hard on a morning. Part of him was freaked out, but there was another part that enjoyed it. He liked the idea that it was wrong and that he could get caught. Was that bad?

While he packed his bags to go home for the holidays, he couldn't help but think about his roommate. Maybe the two week break would help him get over the guy. Maybe it was just a version of cabin fever. It's not like they saw the girls from the sister school that often. Once he got home and was surrounded by his friends and saw Lisa, maybe things would be very different.

Just as he thought about his current predicament, the door slammed over and Castiel rushed over to his bag. He angrily packed his clothes in a suitcase.

"Hey! Everything okay?"

"I cannot wait for the end of the year." Castiel said, not looking up at Dean. It just meant Dean worried more, and he walked over to his roommate. That was when Dean saw the start of a purple bruise on Castiel's cheek.

"What the fuck, man?" Dean touched the bruise, causing Castiel to flinch and look away, "Who the hell did that?"

"You know, Dean. Stupid doesn't suit you."

Dean swallowed hard. He'd had an idea of who did it, and a reason why. It had to be one of the football players, and Dean would take a guess at either Zach, Uriel or Cain. The three of them were the biggest douches on the whole team, but Dean still felt the need to be accepted by them. He wanted to play football. It really was as simple as that.

But this was starting to get complicated. This thing he felt for his roommate was making it hard. He hated the idea of one of his teammates beating up his roommate.

Dean reached out and touched the bruise again with a sigh, "I'm sorry."

"You didn't do it."

"No, but I shoulda kept my cakehole shut," Dean sighed, "This is partially my fault."

Dean let his fingers remain on the Castiel's face for a little longer than necessary, as he stared into the boy's mesmerizing blue eyes. He couldn't believe how turned on he was getting just from this look of want and desire in those eyes.

Moving his hand to Castiel's neck, Dean leaned forward and kissed Castiel again. Soon enough, Castiel wrapped his own arms around Dean's neck, pulling them as close together as possible. As Dean tugged on his roommate's bottom lip with his teeth, he felt the boy's erection growing. Then the moan that escaped Castiel's mouth made Dean harder. His hands were now in Castiel's hair, and all he wanted was to feel some friction.

He laid Castiel on the bed, and then landed on top of him. He just couldn't help but brush his hips into Castiel's, while he continued to kiss him passionately. It all just felt so right and so good. He wanted this moment to last forever, as he felt the friction against his own dick. Castiel moaned again, grabbing at Dean's shirt.

"What the fuck, man!"

* * *

**So, who's caught them...I'll leave you to speculate for the next chapter. The next one will cover some of the break from school and Dean's thought process and some of the questionable things he does yet again! After all, this is Dean Winchester (a 17-year-old Dean Winchester at that!)  
**

**I'd love to know what you think of the chapter. I love getting feedback :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Thanks for the reviews. I know there were a couple of guesses, and here's who it is that's just walked in on them...**

Chapter 9

Dean shot back from his roommate, looking over at the door. Someone had caught him. No, not just someone. He recognized that voice right away. He couldn't believe it. How the hell could he get caught? How was he going to explain that to...to...

"What the fuck, Dean?" The voice pulled Dean out of his thoughts. Dean glanced over at the door, guilt and weakness in his eyes.

"Sammy, I'm...I...that..."

"You're gay?" Was all that Sam could ask. Dean wanted to say something, but the words were stuck in his mouth. He just couldn't put his brain in gear to say anything, and he wasn't sure if his voice could co-operate even if he did want to say something.

Before Sam could say anything else, Mary walked into the room, glaring at her younger son, "I thought I told you not to run off!"

_So, Mom didn't know,_ Dean thought to himself. That was a good thing. He couldn't explain this to his mom, and he certainly didn't want the woman finding out something like that in that way. He didn't really want his brother finding out that way.

"Sorry, Mom," Sammy mumbled, "I'll remember next time."

"Castiel," Mary smiled, "It's lovely to see you again."

"You too, Mrs. Winchester." Cas replied with a soft smile. He was sitting up on the bed now, seemingly analyzing the situation. Dean just looked into Sam's brown eyes, wanting to say something to him but there was nothing that he could say, at least not with Mary in the room. It was going to have to wait until they got home.

"Dean." Mary grinned and now held her arms open. Dean shook himself from his thoughts and smiled at his mom. It would have been great to see her if it wasn't for the few seconds before she'd reached the room. Thank God Sam had ran off.

Dean hugged his mom, glancing over her shoulder at Sam. He was avoiding looking at him now, which wasn't a good sign. It meant Sam was angry, confused and possibly disappointed. Dean couldn't blame him. He wouldn't want to walk in on Sammy in that sort of predicament.

"Are you ready to go, Dean?" Mary now asked, glancing at his bag to see the half-packed mess. She sighed and walked over to it, but Dean beat her to it.

"Almost, Mom," He smiled and quickly threw in a few more bits and pieces, before zipping up the bag and throwing it over his shoulder, "Okay. We can go."

Mary smiled, seemingly not noticing the tension that Dean felt in the room. His brother wasn't sure where to look, and Castiel was shifting nervously on the bed. Dean glanced over at his roommate with a small smile.

"I'll see you later, Cas. Have a good Christmas."

"You too, Dean." Castiel now nodded, looking up at him. They shared a smile before Dean walked out of the room. He'd text Cas later once he'd spoken to his brother. But that would have to wait until they got home. It was four hours away. Could he really wait that long to talk to his brother?

Sam hadn't said a word since walking into the room, and Dean couldn't help but know it was his own fault. He hated this tension between him and his brother. It wasn't like Sam had never walked in on Dean getting up to stuff in the past, but it had always been with some girl or it had been Dean playing with himself. While all those circumstances were awkward, they were normal—at least, considered normal. It had caused a bit of friction the first time, but Sam knew his brother was a sexual person. He enjoyed being in the company of girls in his bedroom.

But this was completely different. This wasn't natural, and definitely not something Sam ever expected to see. Dean needed to do something to diffuse the tension right now.

"So, how was school?" Mary asked as they walked over to the car. Dean grinned to see that she'd brought the Impala. That was Dean's baby, but she'd had to be left in the garage while Dean was at boarding school. He couldn't wait to get back behind the wheel, "Did you stay out of trouble?"

"Yeah, ma'am," Dean nodded, "I promised I would."

"Good. Then you can drive." Mary handed him the set of keys to the car, making him grin even bigger. God, he missed his baby.

After a couple of hours, they'd pulled over. The car wasn't too bad. Sam had put his headphones in to listen to his own music, while Dean and Mary listened to some of the classic rock on one of the radio stations. Dean couldn't help but tell his mom all about school—well, all about playing football. He skipped over the fight at the last game, but told her that scouts were coming from a few colleges.

"So, you're thinking about college now?" Mary asked with a smile.

"Maybe," Dean nodded, "Only if I can get a scholarship, though. I know I can't go without one."

Mary sighed with a sad smile. Dean knew that she'd wished they had saved the money. They were saving at one point, but when John was discharged from the marines, he'd struggled to find a job. It meant they had to dip into savings funds, and the boys' college funds were dipped into at that time. They'd had time to build Adam and Charlie's up again, but not the eldest two. They didn't seem worried about Sam since he was a nerd and would easily get a full ride, but it was harder for Dean. He wasn't book smart. The only way he was affording it was football, and Mary always felt guilty for that.

"It's okay, Mom," Dean glanced over, grabbing his mom's hand gently, "I understand why there isn't the money. I'll find something to do after school. But I will apply to colleges this year, and hopefully I get a scholarship. If not, then I'll find something else to do. Maybe I can work at Uncle Bobby's garage."

"I don't want you missing out on college though, Dean." Mary sighed. Dean shook his head. He wouldn't miss out on something that he hadn't been too certain about going to in the past. Sure, he'd love to go for the social life and to get some sort of life experience, but he didn't mind going straight into work. Maybe that would be the best option for him.

The four hour drive home wasn't actually as bad as Dean expected it to be. Mary had helped to ease the tension with her stories of what her children had gotten up to while at home. It turned out that Charlie was getting up to mischief at school, but nowhere near as bad as her big brother. Adam was cheeky, but he was a good kid. He'd had some trouble with some bullies though, and Dean couldn't help but feel protective of his little brother. He'd find out who these bullies were and put a stop to it if he had to.

Sam hadn't said a word the whole journey, though. At one point, Dean was sure his little brother was pretending to be asleep because Mary had asked him a question. Dean glanced in the rear-view mirror to see him quickly close his eyes, just listening to the music playing from his iPod.

As soon as they got home, Dean parked his car on the driveway next to his dad's. He'd turned to ask Sam if they could "catch-up" but Sam was out of the car in a flash. He didn't even say where he was going, but Dean guessed it was to his room.

"I wonder why Sam did that." Mary couldn't help but frown as she watched her middle son rush into the house. Dean wasn't wondering why, though. He knew exactly why his brother had run away but he wasn't letting Sam away that easily.

"I'll go talk to him, Mom." Dean smiled, kissing her on the cheek and then making his own way into the house. He yelled a quick hello to his little sister, who was sitting at the dining table doing something—Dean guessed playing on her games console—and ran straight up to the Sam's room.

Adam opened the door with a big grin, "Dean! You're home!"

"Hey buddy," Dean laughed, hugging his youngest brother, glancing in the room to see Sam laying on his bed. The room hadn't changed that much since he'd been gone. He thought Sam had put up a few different posters on his side of the room, but that was it. Sam and Adam had shared a room for years. It should have been Dean and Sam sharing and was at one point, but Sam asked to switch rooms if his little brother wouldn't mind. Sam had had enough of walking in on Dean in compromising positions with girls, "Do you mind if I talk to Sammy for a minute, geek?"

"Sure, jerk," Adam grinned and then rushed out of the room, "But don't touch my stuff!"

Dean chuckled, closing the door behind him and sighing to make sure Sam knew that he was here. The room was dark, and Dean realized the curtains were still drawn and no light was on. Not even a lamp.

The eldest Winchester turned on Adam's Spiderman lamp and then sat on the bed. This whole side of the room was covered in superhero stuff. There were toys scattered around the floor, and a Superman cup on the side. Dean picked up the Spiderman action figure at the bottom of the bed and held it while he thought of the right words to say to his brother. He ran his hand over the gash in the rubber on Spiderman's leg, remembering Adam accidentally causing it when using a pair of scissors to scrape something off it. Dean couldn't remember what it was, though. Suppose it didn't really matter, right now.

"Look, I'm sorry, Sammy."

"Don't call me, Sammy." Sam spoke into the pillow, muffling the sound slight. Dean knew exactly what his brother had said. He'd spent the last three years telling Dean not to call him Sammy, and each time Dean ignored it.

"Okay, Sam," Dean tried another tactic, "I'm sorry for what you saw."

"You're not sorry for doing it, though, are you?" Sam now asked, not yet looking over at Dean. Dean didn't really want his brother looking at him right now, anyway. He sighed and shook his head.

"I don't know," he was useless at this emotional crap. He'd like to avoid it, but his brother needed this conversation, and he needed to know whether Sam would say anything to anyone else, "I'm not sure what to think or feel right now. I don't know whether I should be sorry for it or not. I just...I...I don't know what's going on anymore."

Sam frowned and sat up on the bed, turning to look at his brother. There was something in his eyes that Dean couldn't quite work out. Was it disgust? It didn't quite look like disgust, but what else could it be?

"You're confused?" Sam now asked, "It didn't look like that when I saw you...I don't even want to think about what I saw you doing. I've seen you in bed with girls before and that hasn't creeped me out as much as seeing you locking lips with...with...your roommate."

"I know," Dean nodded his head, "And trust me, I've been creeped out by it too but it's just...I don't know how to explain it. I'm just sorry you had to see us like that."

"I didn't even know you were gay, Dean," Sam said, "We've spoken on the phone so much and you never thought of telling me? Do you know how much that hurts? I thought you trusted me."

"I do," Dean nodded, "But this was...it's something I've been trying to work through. I didn't want to tell you because I'm, well, I'm ashamed or confused or I don't know."

"What's there to be ashamed about?"

"I like guys, Sam," Dean looked at him as if Sam had two heads, "What isn't there to be ashamed about?"

"You know that isn't true," Sam shook his head, "There's nothing wrong with being gay. God, some of your friends are gay. Our cousin is gay!"

"But this is me, Sammy," Dean shouted, sitting forward on the bed and looking his brother in the eyes, "I'm Dean Winchester. I should be ashamed. I mean, think about all the girls..."

"Do you still like girls?" Sam asked, tilting his head. Dean sighed, seeing that his brother was going to ignore the little outburst. Did he still like girls? Well, yes. He knew he did. He'd slept with Cassie last week and got turned on thinking about her, but he got more turned on thinking about Castiel.

"Yeah," Dean nodded, realizing that he hadn't answered his brother's question yet, "I still like girls."

"So, you're bi."

"I'm not...I...I don't know, Sam."

Sam seemed to take that as an answer and nodded his head. It was like he finally understood why Dean hadn't said anything over the phone.

"Look, you won't tell anyone about this, will you?" Dean had to ask. He didn't want it getting out and he knew he could trust his brother. But he didn't want to just chance it. Sam looked offended for a minute that Dean even had to ask, but that offense turned into a small smile. He just shook his head, making Dean smile, "Thanks, bro. I just...I need to figure this out first."

"I know," Sam nodded his head, "But you shouldn't be ashamed. I don't love you any less."

"Okay, and that is enough of this girly shit before I grow a vagina." Dean said, standing up and placing the Spiderman action figure on the bed and walked towards the door.

"Just you?"

"You already have one, Samantha." Dean hid his awkwardness with his sarcasm and humor, making Sam roll his brown eyes. He had successfully removed them from that chick-flick moment and it was time to get downstairs to see the rest of the family.

"You didn't touch my stuff, right?" Adam asked as the two older brothers got down the stairs.

"Of course not, shortstop," Dean grinned, "You seriously need to tidy up though. It's a pig-sty in there!"

Adam rolled his eyes and rushed off to play outside since the weather was nice. Sam made an excuse about checking some program out on the TV, so it was left to Dean to catch up with his little sister. She still hadn't put her video game down, but was shouting at the screen; obviously losing. Dean couldn't help but chuckle. Charlie was definitely not the typical girl, and Dean liked that. In fact, for eight years old, she'd already developed Dean's sarcastic nature and they could often have back and forths. He couldn't wait for her to grow up when he could really get into it with her.

"Hey, squirt," Dean grinned as Charlie pushed her video game onto the dining room table, "Lose again?"

"I can't get past that level," Charlie moaned, brushed her red bangs out of her eyes, "It's stupid. I hate it."

"Want me to try?"

"No." Charlie hated admitting that someone else could be better than her at something, even if they were older than her. She'd picked up Dean's sarcastic nature and stubbornness. This one would be a handful when she got older.

"So, how's school been?"

"Good," Charlie nodded, "I got in trouble, though."

"Uh oh. What did you do?"

"Stuck gum in Dorothy Baum's hair," Charlie looked at her big brother with a twinkle in her blue eyes. Dean just chuckled at her, "See, it was funny right? She didn't see it that way and told the teachers over me."

"Well, she just sucks," Dean chuckled and kissed his sister on the head, "So, dad home?"

"At work," Charlie sighed, "Mom's in the kitchen making dinner."

As Charlie picked up the video console up again, Dean knew it was his cue to leave. She wanted to get back onto defeating whatever bad guys were in her latest game, and he wanted to see his mom anyway, not believing that three months at school had made him miss her and his whole family for that matter so much.

"Need any help, Mom?"

Mary smiled at her son's presence in the kitchen. For Dean it was just like it was before he went to boarding school. It seemed natural to be in the kitchen. He wouldn't tell anyone, but he enjoyed cooking, especially alongside her. Not that he was that good, but he was good enough to put a meal together. And he was good enough to make pie. That's all that really counted.

He fell into a pattern as soon as he stepped into the kitchen, grabbing the items out of the fridge that his mom would need before she even asked him.

"I've missed this, you know."

"You're the one that sent me off to a boarding school, Mom." Dean pointed out, but knew it was a low blow. She looked at him with disappointment in her brown eyes and sighed.

"I wouldn't have had to if you didn't get yourself expelled."

"I know," Dean sighed, "I'm sorry." He wanted to tell her that it wasn't all his fault, but he decided against it.

"It was either that place or that marine school," Mary now said, "Which one would you have rather had?"

Dean sighed and nodded his head. The boarding school was better. Well, he thought it was better. There was less discipline and no getting up at 5am. But he did have to deal with a roommate that he was attracted to. Maybe military school would have been better.

"Anyway, let's get dinner on the go before John gets home," Mary suggested, "You know he'll be happy to see you but he likes his food. You picked that up from him, son."

John did get home about an hour later, ready to crash out on the couch by the looks of things. But being the dutiful father he was, he greeted all his children. Dean was the last, as he stepped out of the kitchen and into the living room.

"Dean! You're home," John smiled and pulled his son into a big hug. Dean couldn't help but hug his father back. He had missed the man, "So, you didn't get into any trouble?"

"No, Dad," Dean shook his head and smiled at the proud look on his father's face, "And school's good before you ask. I'll tell you about it over dinner. I helped Mom."

"Good boy," John nodded and glanced behind him. Dean could only guess that Mary was standing behind him, "Let's eat, then."

Once dinner was over and everyone had gone to bed, Dean finally had the chance to be alone. He had the chance to text his roommate. He'd worried a little about what Castiel had thought. After all, Dean had jumped off the bed as quickly as he could. It did look bad, but Cas knew that Dean wasn't open about this. He wanted to keep it all secret—and that even meant from his own family.

Sighing, he walked into his bedroom to his phone, which he'd put on charge shortly after getting home. When he glanced at it, he'd seen he'd gotten a few texts but not from the one that mattered most to him right now. Sitting on his bed with his back against the metal rung headboard, Dean quickly typed in a message to send.

_Hey, you get home OK? Sorry about my brother._

_D_

He sent it before he had time to think about it. The last thing he needed to do was chicken out right now. After that, he read through all the messages he'd received. Some had been from his teammates asking if he'd made it home and if he was going to Zach's party at New Year—still a maybe—and others were from friends back home asking when he was getting there.

_Get your ass to mine now!_

_Jo xx_

Dean smiled at his best friend's text. Yes, Dean had a female best friend and he wasn't going to deny it to anyone. He actually liked having a girl as a best friend. There had never been any romantic feelings between them. Well, there'd been a kiss when they were 13, but both were just as grossed out by it as each other. It was like kissing a sibling; both admitted it. After that, they'd decided that friends was the best option.

Jo was great when it came to problems Dean had with girls—more importantly how to break up with them when they started getting too clingy. And Dean was there for Jo when she had issues with her boyfriend.

_Can't tonight. Will see you tomorrow._

_D x_

He wasn't going anywhere tonight. Right now, he just wanted to sleep and have a dream that didn't involve his roommate. He didn't need to imagine Castiel's lips all over his body, tracing down to his dick, which was now hardening just from the thoughts.

Dean groaned, rubbing his face. What the fuck was wrong with him? Was he bi, like Sam had asked? He still couldn't believe he'd had that conversation with his brother earlier, but was glad that the tension had eased. Sam went straight to acting as normal, and Dean was so relieved. He didn't want it to be weird between them, which was why he hadn't wanted to admit this to anyone. They'd all look at him differently.

The phone buzzed in Dean's hand and he checked it quickly. Maybe it was Castiel. He frowned when Jo's name popped up on his screen.

_No. We need to talk now!_

_Jo xx_

What could Jo possibly need to talk to him about right now? Couldn't it wait until the morning? Sighing, Dean decided it was worth calling her to find out what it was.

"You better be on your way over, Winchester." Jo warned him.

"No, Harvelle," Dean replied, "What do you want, anyway? Can't it wait 'til tomorrow?"

"No! Get your ass over here now," Jo told him, a stressful sound in her voice. Something must be going on, "Please. I need to talk to you right now."

"Well, you come here," Dean suggested, "My window's open."

"Okay, be up in a minute."

The phone went dead and within a couple of minutes Dean could see the blonde hair of his friend. Dean watched her as she climbed in through the window and shrugged her jacket off.

"How long were you out there for?" Dean smirked at her. He should have known that she was waiting for him to tell her to get up here.

"Not that long," Jo sighed, "I drove by on the off-chance you were home. Saw your car in the drive so figured you were back. It's been in the garage while you've been away."

Dean just nodded his head and waited for her to sit next to him on his double bed, "So, what's going on?"

"My mom is being a bitch," Jo sighed, letting Dean put his arm around her so she could cuddle into him. Dean sighed and kissed the top of her head. Jo didn't have the best relationship with her mom. It was just the two of them for a long time after Jo's dad died when she was a kid, but since Ellen had married Rufus, it was a little strained. Ellen spent more time with her new husband, and Jo was left to her own devices, "She told me that I couldn't hang out with you anymore. Said you were a bad influence."

Dean chuckled and rolled his eyes at the comment. Ellen hadn't gotten on that well with John, although was on speaking terms with Mary. Apparently, Bill Harvelle's death had something to do with John, but nobody ever really spoke of it. Dean and Jo refused to get into it, but just wanted to be friends. They were rocks for each other when it came to needing one.

"I bet she'll love hearing that you snuck over here," Dean smirked, "And that you're in my bed."

"I'm not in your bed, Dean. I'm on it. There's a difference."

"To her there won't be," Dean wiggled his eyebrows as she looked up to him. Jo just slapped his chest, pulling a disgusted look just as Dean's phone vibrated on the nightstand. With a sigh, Dean checked his phone and then smiled.

_I got home fine, thank you Dean. How is your brother? I'm sorry if it has caused any problems._

Dean put the phone to one side, deciding to text his roommate back afterwards. But Jo had seen the text.

"What problems?" Jo asked, "You getting into trouble already? Bet your folks love that."

"No, just..." Dean wasn't sure what to really say to her. He definitely wasn't going to tell her the truth, not right now.

"Who was that anyway?"

"Erm, just my roommate," Dean shrugged his shoulders, "He's a bit of a quirky character."

Jo didn't push for any more information, which Dean was relieved about. The last thing he wanted was to try and get out of telling her the truth. Like Sam, Jo was one person he could trust with anything, but he couldn't tell her something like this. It was too difficult to tell her something like this.

"So, you wanted to talk," Dean sighed, letting Jo cuddle into him more. She was the only girl allowed to do this, and that was only because she wouldn't go blabbing about how girly Dean had been, "What's going on? Is it just your mom telling you not to see me?"

"Yeah, and...well, Rufus is being a jerk right now," Jo sighed, "He thinks he can tell me who and can and can't date."

"You're dating someone?" Dean asked, looking down at her with a frown, "I need to meet him to make sure he's good enough."

"I'm not dating anyone, specifically," Jo rolled her brown eyes with a sigh, "I was just going out on one date with a guy and Rufus decided he wasn't good enough. You know why? His car."

Dean laughed at that idea. It was as good enough reason as any to take an instant dislike to someone.

"I should have known you'd find it funny, Winchester," Jo sighed, "But he's trying to act like my dad and he's not. If it was you, then fine. I get that and I respect your opinion over the dicks in this town-I'd even respect John's-but, seriously, Rufus? No, he doesn't get to tell me I can't date a guy. He has no right."

Once Jo had blown off some steam, Dean grabbed her head lifting it gently so he could look into her eyes, "So you respect my opinion, huh?"

Jo hit him in the stomach, successfully diffusing the chick-flick moment and put her head back on his chest. Dean knew they were going to sit like that for a while, so he picked up the remote to his small TV on the stand opposite the bed and turned it on. Surely there was something on, so they didn't just sit there in silence.

* * *

**I'd love to hear what you think of this. The next chapter will involve Dean acting like a jerk again (you have been warned) but he is still sorting his head out.  
**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey guys! Thanks for the reviews and for those who have followed/favorited this story. I'm so glad you're enjoying it. I'm sorry it's taken me a while to update this. I've been super busy and I've been making changes to the ending of this. I wasn't happy with the way it ended and had no motivation for a sequel, so I made some changes to head the story back in the original direction I planned.**

**Anyway, it does mean the story will be longer. But for now, here's chapter 10 to keep you entertained.**

Chapter 10

Dean woke up feeling a stiff pain in his neck. He'd fallen asleep still sitting up in his bed, which wasn't the comfiest position to fall asleep in. Groaning, he moved his arm to find that Jo had rolled over on the bed to sleep properly. Despite the pain in his neck, Dean couldn't help but smile softly at her sleeping form. It was just like normal finding her in his bed—or waking up to realize he'd fallen asleep in her bed.

Hey, just because they weren't romantically linked didn't mean they had a bad relationship. Their friendship certainly crossed some boundaries, but that was just how comfortable they were around each other. Anyone who they dated—well, anyone Jo dated—had to put up with that relationship.

Banging on the front door caught his attention. Dean glanced at the clock. It was 2am. Who would be at the door at this time?

It seemed to take a while, but the banging finally stopped, only to be replaced with a shouting.

"Where the fuck is she, John?" a man's voice shouted, "Jo's here, I know it."

It was Rufus. Dean frowned and shuck his friend awake.

"Hmm? Did I fall asleep?" Jo asked innocently, but then her eyes widened at the sound of the shouting downstairs. John was trying to tell Rufus that Jo wasn't there, but it was clear he didn't believe the man. And why would he? He'd likely seen Jo's car parked outside, "Shit!"

Jo got up and grabbed her jacket off the back of Dean's chair. Luckily, that was the only thing she'd taken off when she climbed through the window.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Jo." Dean grinned as she climbed out of his window. She was out of sight just as Dean's bedroom door was opened forcefully. It hit his wall, crashing as it happened. Dean just looked at the black man who walked straight over to the window and then glared at Dean.

"I know she's here, boy," Rufus shouted, just as John made it up to the room. Mary was close behind him, "Where the fuck is she?"

"Who?" Dean asked, sitting forward, not appreciating the intrusion. Rufus clearly wasn't in the mood for games, though, and grabbed Dean by the collar of his shirt. Dean fought the man's hands off, just as John pulled Rufus away.

"Don't you dare lay your hands on my son," John shouted, "Now, you can see, Jo isn't here."

"I haven't seen her since getting back." Dean lied convincingly, more angry at the fact that this man had just grabbed him. If he knew it wouldn't land him in trouble, Dean would have gotten into a fight, but he decided against it.

"She was here. I know it." Rufus pushed John away and glared at Dean.

"Prove it." Dean looked right into Rufus' dark eyes, daring him to make another move.

"That's enough," Mary finally shouted, "Rufus, you either get out of here or I'll call the police."

Rufus pushed his way past John after some deliberating and then stormed out of the house. It just left Dean and his parents, who were now looking at him.

"Where is she?" John asked, knowing that Jo had to have been here. He knew his son far too well.

"She isn't here, Dad." Dean answered, this time honestly. He just neglected to tell him that she'd jumped out of the window.

"She better not be," John warned him, "We've told you about girls in your room. Even if it is Jo."

John walked out of the room, quickly followed by Mary, who threw Dean a look mixed with concern and disappointment. Of course his parents knew that Jo had been there. They'd asked earlier whether he was going over to see her. But they knew there was nothing they ever had to worry about, knowing that both were just very good friends and that was all it was.

Closing his bedroom door, Dean walked over to his bedroom window and looked out of it. He wanted to make sure Jo had gotten away and Rufus was now gone. There was no car outside, so Dean guessed that everyone was away now. Hopefully, Jo would get home to her room without too many problems.

Settling back on his bed, he picked up his phone and went back to the previous text message he'd received from his roommate. It may be late, but he was going to text him back. Let him know he was thinking about him while he slept.

_Sammy understands now. Think he's dealing with it better than I am. Sweet dreams, Cas._

_D x_

Dean sent the text with the kiss at the end without really thinking about it. When he looked at the message in his phone, he cursed to himself. How could he do that! That was going to screw things up completely.

There wasn't much he could do about it now. He could text Cas to say he didn't mean the kiss at the end, but that would probably cause more problems. So, he would just ignore it. If Cas brought it up then he'd find something to say about it but right now he'd ignore it.

Putting the phone back on his nightstand, Dean finally stripped down to his boxers and climbed under his covers. He flipped the TV off and got ready to fall back asleep. At least it would be comfier now having the whole bed to himself and actually sleeping lying down.

Just as he closed his eyes, his phone vibrated. The light shone through the whole room. It was probably just Jo telling him she'd gotten home, but he checked anyway. A smile played on his lips when he saw Castiel's name pop up. And then that smile turned to a frown as his heart raced. Had Castiel noticed the kiss?

_I understand. You can talk to me if you would like. Sweet dreams, Dean._

_Cas x_

Dean smiled at the kiss at the end of the text. So, Cas had noticed and he'd followed on with it. That was a good thing, right? Well, it would have been if this was a girl. He was still confused over these feelings. But Dean couldn't help but go to sleep with a smile on his face. He'd take it as a good thing right now and deal with what it really meant in the morning.

* * *

The Christmas vacation was going relatively easy. Christmas Day was good just the six of them and Dean had managed to avoid the whole time thinking about Cas. Well, mostly avoided thinking about him. There were still times the guy would invade his dreams, but Dean didn't feel the pull as much. Maybe it was just the school that was doing this.

The day after Christmas, Dean got a text from Jo to say Ash was throwing a party and he had to be there. Of course he did. He'd not seen all his friends yet with some of them going away for the holidays. Everyone would be back now and he could catch up.

Ash's party was just like the many others he'd thrown. Alcohol was available everywhere, and Dean knew a few drugs would be around if he ever did want them. Not that he would touch them. His dad was strict enough when it came to alcohol. There was no way he was risking doing drugs with the ex-marine of a father he had. Plus, it just wasn't his style.

The music was blaring, and Dean was having fun with his friends. During the night, Jo had gone off with some guy—Max, Dean thought his name was and he didn't like him right away—and Kevin was off sucking face with some other girl. Dean was left on his own, just as Balthazar Miller walked over.

_Great, just what I need tonight!_ Dean thought to himself. Balthazar was one of Michael Jenning's friends, and not someone Dean wanted to run into right now.

"So, it looks like the prodigal has returned," Balthazar's English accent went right through Dean. The dick had moved here when his parents split up, and rubbed his cultured past in his face, "Wondered when you would be brave enough to show your face."

"Brave enough?" Dean laughed, "I've not been hiding anywhere, buddy. Not my fault your team captain got in my face. How's he doing, anyway? I heard a shattered jaw can take a while to heal."

Balthazar turned his nose up, "You think you're funny."

"I think I'm adorable," Dean grinned, gearing up for a fight if he really needed to. He'd happily punch this guy's light out, "But I'll be your worst nightmare if you continue down this path. I heard about the trouble you and your friends have been giving my brother. Just because I'm not around doesn't mean you won't get what's coming to ya."

Ash walked over just at that moment, as if he knew that something was about to kick off. Dean had to admit that he was thankful, but the adrenaline was running through him now. He glared at the basketball player before walking away and going to one of the bedrooms. He needed to clear his head, and needed to get away from anyone else.

Just as he walked in to a room, he stopped. A dark-haired man was sitting on the bed, his head in his arms.

"Hey, sorry man," Dean apologized before starting to walk out. The man looked up, his eyes clearly struggling to lock on to something. Dean guessed that he was drunk, high or both, "You okay, man? Need me to call someone?"

"No." The boy shook his head and stood up. As he stumbled towards the door, Dean instinctively caught him, the door closing behind them. Dean felt himself trapped between this guy and the door, their faces close.

Without warning, the guy leaned in and kissed Dean hungrily. All Dean wanted to do was push this guy off him, but some part of him wanted to keep kissing him. It was like he needed this. His thoughts quickly went to Castiel, and how his lips felt on Dean. He was comparing them to this stranger's lips, and Dean's cock started to twitch. He groaned, shifting his hips, catching the guy's leg at the same time.

Rather than jumping away, the guy pushed himself up against Dean's chest, rubbing his own hips into Dean's now. Dean could feel the guy's hardness through his own pants, and it just turned Dean on even more. But there was no way they could do anything else, could they? Did Dean really want to do anything else?

Hearing the door lock, Dean stopped over-thinking things and just went with how he felt. God, this felt so good. He just found himself wishing it was Castiel who was here rather than this dark-haired stranger. A stranger he didn't even know the name of yet.

Going along with the not over-thinking things, Dean ran his hands through the stranger's hair and down his arms, pulling the boy closer to him. He was getting painfully hard now, and needed some release. Any release would do right now.

It was like the guy had realized he needed something, and he unbuckled Dean's jeans without even asking. The boy placed his hand down Dean's jeans, palming his cock through his boxers. Dean pulled away from the kiss to put his head back, pleased with the contact. The guy's mouth just moved to Dean's ear and neck, and he couldn't believe how much he was gagging for this now.

Suddenly the contact was gone, and Dean opened his eyes—when did he close them?—to look at the guy to see that he was now kneeling in front of Dean, pulling at Dean's jeans. He wasn't about to deny the guy this chance, knowing exactly what was coming, and helped drop his pants and boxers, just watching as the guy's hot, wet mouth enveloped his dick.

"Oh, God!" Dean couldn't help but whisper as he felt the guy's tongue lick up the underside of his dick, while he bobbed his head up and down. The feeling of it on his slit, lapping up some of the precum, was the best part and Dean couldn't help but buck his hips forward. It didn't seem to bother the stranger, who eagerly continued the actions.

Not really knowing what to do with his hands, Dean placed on in the stranger's hair, playing with it as he got closer. Closing his eyes again, he thought about what Cas would be like doing this. He just couldn't help but picture Cas doing all this with his pretty, hot mouth. It was those thoughts that sent Dean over the edge. He didn't even have time to warn the guy, cum spurting straight into his mouth.

Dean moaned as he came, trying not to let a name out. But God did he wish he could say Castiel's name. The stranger stood up and then backed away from Dean.

Suddenly fear went through Dean. What the fuck had he just let this guy do to him? He didn't even know him, and he'd just let the guy suck his dick. What was worse was thinking about Castiel the whole time. Dean quickly pulled his boxers and jeans up, fastened them and rushed out of the room. He needed to get out of there.

Dean didn't get that far away before he ran into Jo on the stairs.

"Hey, I was just looking for you," Jo smiled, "Guessed you'd be up here with some girl."

"Erm, yeah, no..." Dean shook his head, "Bathroom."

"Dean, you look like you just got laid," Jo laughed, making Dean frowned. How the hell did she always know? She'd once said that his eyes gave it away, but he'd never found out anything more than that, "C'mon, I need a drink anyway."

"What happened to that guy?" Dean asked, looking around for the boy she'd ran off with.

"Ugh, he was a jerk," Jo rolled her eyes and pulled Dean towards the table with the drinks, "Why can't there be anyone else out there like you?"

"Jo, I'm a jerk too. You keep telling me."

"I know, but you're a loveable jerk," Jo laughed, "You actually care about people."

As Jo grabbed them some drinks, Dean couldn't help but look towards the stairs. The guy that he'd let suck him off hadn't come down the stairs yet. He wasn't anywhere around. That was good. He wouldn't start a scene in the house, at least. The last thing Dean needed was for his friends to find out that he had gay tendencies.

He couldn't help but think about how good it was. And how Castiel could be if he'd let him do that. What the hell was wrong with him? He'd gone the last week or so not even thinking about guys—not thinking about Castiel. He was back to normal. At least, he thought he was.

"Hey, earth to Winchester. What's up with you tonight?"

"Sorry," Dean shook himself out of his thoughts, "I ran into Balthazar earlier. He was spouting his mouth off again."

"What else is new?" Jo rolled her eyes, "He's been a jerk since finding out you were at a boarding school. Keeps saying how it's gonna turn you gay and shit. Yeah right, Dean Winchester gay. That I'd have to see to believe."

Dean grinned nervously at the girl before taking a mouthful of his drink. Yeah, he'd have to see it to believe it, too. But he kinda had seen it. It was possible that the school was turning him gay.

"He'd be doing an injustice to the female sex if he did turn gay." A soft female voice said from behind them. Dean and Jo turned at the same time to see Lisa Braeden standing on the other side of the drinks table. As Jo rolled her eyes, Dean couldn't help but grin. He hadn't seen her since they'd broken up, but she was a girl he'd kept in touch with.

Dean couldn't help but look her up and down, taking in her curves. She was dressed in a simple, short, black dress with her black hair left down. He'd love to see the boots—he assumed boots—she had on. And he really wanted to see her legs and have the wrapped around his waist.

_Seriously, what the hell?_ Dean thought to himself. He'd just had an encounter with some guy in a bedroom and now he was thinking about Lisa and her naked body writhing underneath her.

"How you been, Dean?" Lisa asked, pulling him out of his thoughts. She walked around the table to stand next to him, getting in Jo's way.

"I'll leave you two alone." Jo said, rolling her eyes and walking away from them. Jo had never really liked Lisa, but mainly because Lisa had taken up so much of Dean's time when they were together. The cheerleading captain was more than happy to give it up on a daily basis, and Dean wasn't one to say no.

"I've been good," Dean said, instinctively putting his arm around her waist, "What about you?"

"I've missed you," she admitted, stepping closer to him and looking into his eyes, "Missed this."

And for the second time that night, Dean was going to get head. More than that, he was going to get laid. And God did he need to do it with a girl.

* * *

Dean didn't sleep much that night. By the time he got home, everyone was in bed but his mind was on overdrive. He couldn't help but think about everything that had happened.

Sex with Lisa hadn't been as great as he once remembered. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't great. Not something he felt he needed to revisit anytime soon. He'd quickly left her when she'd passed out next to him, not able to get the previous sexual encounter out of his head.

Now he sat on his bed, with his phone in his hand. He couldn't help but look at Castiel's number. All he wanted to do was call his roommate. He felt the need to confess his dirty little secret; tell him all about the guy but how he'd thought about Cas the whole time. But that wasn't something Dean could do. Not only was it some stupid time in the morning—Cas would be asleep—it was also going to rub his sexual encounters of the night in his roommate's face.

Not sleeping with others hadn't been a condition that Cas had said out loud, but Dean guessed that they would be an expected condition. They weren't in a committed relationship, but Dean did kind of owe Cas that respect while he helped work out everything that was going on in his head.

He sighed, putting the phone back on his nightstand. Cas didn't need to hear about it, and there was nobody else to talk to about his questions over his sexuality.

No, wait, there was a person. There was one person he knew deep down that he could trust about something like this. It was just whether he had the guts to talk to that person. Either way, it would have to wait until the morning. Now was not the time to confess his questions over his own sexuality to his best friend, even if she would be there for him and not judge him.**  
**

* * *

**I know some of you wanted one of Cas' conditions to be that he wouldn't sleep with others, but it's just something we all know our Dean wouldn't be able to follow. Will this come out later on? Maybe, maybe not. But it was an important scene to help Dean figure some things out in his head.**

**Yes, there will be some angry people, but please just give Dean a chance. He's a jerk, but as Jo said, he's a loveable jerk, right? Please do R&amp;R to let me know what you think :) Thanks!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey! Thanks for the reviews. **

**David-786 I couldn't reply privately since you are a guest user. I want to thank you for what you said. I don't take it as a bash, but I will say that I've never promised that it would be easy or that characters would be everyone's cuppa. I know you asked me to think about what I would do in their situations, and if I'm completely honest I would never find myself in a Cas situation. When I was 18, I was a lot more like Dean than I like to admit-as in a bitch to most guys that I was with. It's horrible to admit, but it was my husband that changed all that because he was patient with me. Okay, maybe not a complete pushover, but then he didn't know half the stuff that I did before we officially got together. Would that make him a pushover? Possibly. I've often asked him what he saw in me and why he stayed through the horrible times in the beginning and he said he saw something there-like my actions were more of a defense (which they certainly were), so I'm taking some of that and putting it in here. That's part of the reason why this whole story has been from Dean's POV. You may have noticed that I've never written anything with just Cas in it, and never told his side of the story. Maybe that could come later. But thank you for your review. I do hope you stick with the next few chapters, because things are not going to be so simple between them and Cas will grow some sort of a backbone.**

**Anyway, now that that long explanation is out of the way, it's time for the next chapter. Just to let you all know, I have finished this story now. It's 32 chapters long, and I think it's the way it's going to stay. I'm happier with it, and I have a direction for the sequel now. The good news is that some of the stuff I had in the first version that I finished has been used. So not so much wasted writing.**

Chapter 11

Spending the semester out of trouble meant one thing for Dean Winchester. He was allowed to drive himself back to the boarding school. That was his reward for not getting suspended or worse. Of course, his parents hadn't heard about the fight on the football pitch during the last game before Christmas, but that was just a minor blip that Dean didn't have full control over.

He didn't care. All he knew was he got his Impala back with him. It would be at school, meaning more freedom at the weekends. As long as they got permission, the students were allowed to take trips out of the school but Dean had never had a method of transportation. Now he did and he would make sure he made use of it.

He pulled into the school's parking lot and glanced back up at the school. It didn't look as big as it did the first time he looked at it. He still remembered that first day; the feeling of not fitting in. He had ended up fitting in, but only if he could keep his sexuality a secret.

"_Jo, can I talk to you about something?" Dean decided that he did need to talk to someone who wouldn't judge him. It had been a week since Ash's party. Dean had been to Zach's New Year party and struggled with the thought that he was attracted to guys as well as girls. To make it worse, he couldn't stop thinking about his roommate._

"_Dean Winchester wants to talk?" Jo asked with a laugh, "What's the bee up your bonnet?"_

"_Jo, I'm being serious right now." Dean sighed, making it clear that he wasn't into have games. There were only a handful of times that he'd been like this with his best friend, but she knew to shut up and just let him talk. Letting him into her house, she motioned to go up to her room._

_"What about Rufus?" Dean asked, but Jo shrugged her shoulders. Dean certainly wasn't going to complain. He really didn't want her step-dad hearing about this. He couldn't let it get back to his own parents just yet._

"_So, what's up, Dean?" Jo asked, closing her bedroom door. Dean couldn't help but pace the floor, running his hands through his hair. He was nervous. Really nervous. He hadn't felt this way since…well, he couldn't remember the last time he felt this way. What he was about to confess to was a major thing. He couldn't even believe it himself right now._

"_What I'm about to tell you," Dean sighed, "You need to promise me that you won't judge me or hate me. And please don't tell no-one else, Jo."_

"_Dean, I wouldn't betray your trust, you know that," Jo replied with a frown, "I've never once told anyone your secrets, like you haven't with mine."_

_Dean nodded. This was why he trusted her with this but it still didn't make him feel better, "Please just promise me, Jo."_

"_This is major, isn't it?" Jo sighed, sitting on her bed as she watched him pace._

"_Yeah, it really is," Dean snorted and then finally sat on the bed next to her, "Okay, erm, I'm not sure how to start."_

"_Just say it," Jo shrugged, "Whatever it is, just tell it to me straight."_

_Tell it to her straight? Dean couldn't help but see the poetic nature of those words, "Okay. Well, you know at the party last week? When you found me coming downstairs and said I looked like I got laid?"_

"_Just before you went off with Lisa? Yeah." Jo nodded and then grinned, knowing that he'd pulled before that._

"_Yeah, well, I did," Dean nodded, "Sorta. And it's not what you think. It wasn't just some random girl."_

"_So, it was an ex?" Jo asked._

"_No, it was a stranger. Never got the guy's name actually." That was it. Jo started nodding her head and then took in the words that Dean had said. Her brown eyes widened in shock and she jumped up off the bed. Dean panicked as she started pacing the floor._

"_You…your…he?" Jo shouted and then started laughing, "Dean, you slept with a guy?"_

"_Jo, will you keep your voice down, please? No-one can know about this." Dean warned her, slightly relieved that she was laughing and not angry at the situation._

"_No-one's home, Dean," Jo waved him off with a big grin, "But, wow! You're gay?"_

"_Yeah, no, maybe. I don't know, Jo," Dean sighed, "All I know is I like guys and oh my God it was good. But I like girls as well. I still slept with Lisa and…"_

"_So you're bi? Okay." Jo nodded._

"_So, you're not mad or disgusted?"_

"_You're my best friend, Winchester," Jo laughed, "I'd never be mad or disgusted. As long as I don't have to see it—like I've always asked about you and your sexual conquests—then I don't care. You're still the same Deano. You're still the jerk I grew up with; the brother I never wanted."_

_Dean sighed with relief, hearing all that come out of her mouth. Even though she'd laughed, there was still part of him that worried. She glanced at him with a concerned frown and cocked her head, before sitting down._

"_Did you really think I'd find it disgusting?" Jo asked, looking into his green eyes, "Dean, you've always disgusted me. You're a boy! But you're my best friend and I love you no matter what. How long have you known?"_

"_I don't know," Dean sighed, "I…my roommate kissed me one night and I guess I've been thinking about it since then. I've been thinking about him since then."_

"_You like your roommate?" Jo asked with a smirk, "I bet that's fun."_

"_Yeah, well, we've sorta acted on it. But…I'm being a jerk to him," Dean finally admitted. He hated chick-flick moments, but he knew he needed to get this off his chest and Jo was his person, "The football team hate him and…I can't just drop football, Jo, so I have to pretend that I can't stand him either. They keep threatening to beat him up 'cuz he's gay—or bi, whatever—and I just have to go along with it."_

"_You are a jerk." Jo nodded her head with a disappointed sigh._

"_Yeah, but…"_

"_There's no excuse, Dean," Jo shook her head, "Please tell me that you haven't beaten the guy up."_

"_No!" Dean scoffed, "And I've tried to stop the football players. I'm using the roommate card, though. Not the I-like-him-in-more-than-a-friend-way card."_

"_And what's he said about this?"_

"_He wants me to come out of the closet," Dean sighed, "Right now I think he's okay with sticking to things in the room, but he's not one for hiding it all. I can tell that just from the way he talks to his friends. He doesn't flaunt things but, you know…"_

"_He wants to be able to say he's got a boyfriend?"_

_When Dean nodded, Jo laughed once at the situation. Dean shook his head with a sigh._

"_I can't tell people, Jo," Dean told her, "It was hard enough telling you and admitting things to Sammy…"_

"_Sam knows?"_

"_He saw me kissing Cas." Dean admitted, thinking back to that moment before Sam walked into their room. Jo just started laughing at that comment. Of course Sam had to walk in on something like that._

Dean turned the ignition off and climbed out of his car. The hope that he had for just slipping into his room soon died. He was instantly stopped by Zach and Cain.

"Dude, that your car?" Cain asked. Dean laughed and shook his head.

"You said that at New Year," by the time Dean had gotten to Zach's, most of the team were already drunk. Cain was the worst out of the lot, not even making it to midnight before he passed out. Dean had left quite early the next day to be able to get back home, so Cain hadn't seen the car for a second time, "But yeah, that's my baby."

"I didn't think you were gonna bring her here," Zach laughed, "Thought she was too precious."

"Too precious to be left in a garage, too," Dean grinned, "Turns out good behavior leads to rewards. Bringing her is mine for not getting expelled."

His two teammates walked him up to his room, clearly wanting to catch up on things they'd missed over the last week. It wasn't like Dean had much to report on. He wouldn't tell him about his chat with Jo, but there were a few parties that he could tell them about. Truth be told, though, Dean had spent a lot of time with his brothers and sister, along with a few of his cousins from his mom's side.

As he opened the door to his room, the sound of some modern day music that Dean didn't recognize hit him. And then there was the two male bodies sprawled out on the floor, tackling each other. At first, Dean hoped he hadn't just walked into something sexual, but soon realized that they the two boys were dorm-wrestling. He could see Castiel on the bottom, but couldn't make out the guy on top first.

"Dude! That is just gay!" Zach grimaced, as Dean threw his bag on the bed. Castiel and the other guy split, and Dean realized that it was just Speedy. He threw Cas an apologetic look for his teammate, but didn't say a word. There was no way he could show the two sympathy.

"Yeah, and whipping each other just after showers isn't gay?" Speedy countered Zach's comment with a roll of his brown eyes. Dean couldn't help but smirk at that comment, so quickly turned his back to the group to grab his cell phone out of his bag.

"Dean, you coming down to the common room?" Cain now asked, "The boys are playing pool."

"I'll be right down," Dean nodded, turning back to face his teammates, "Just gotta check in with the folks. Let them know I actually got here."

Zach and Cain seemed to take that as a good enough reason for him to stay for now and left the room. Zach didn't pass the opportunity to comment about how being gay was possibly contagious and not to stay there for too long.

"Dick." Dean mumbled under his breath once his teammates were gone and then looked up at Castiel and Speedy. Speedy was clearly not interested in any small talk, and still gave him evil looks. Cas on the other hand looked at him with a softer look. It wasn't quite a smile, but it certainly wasn't daggers.

"How was your Christmas, Dean?" Cas now asked, earning glares off Speedy.

"Erm, good. Yours?"

"Okay," Castiel shrugged his shoulders, "Gabe wasn't around too much due to work, but I kept myself entertained. I hear Zach's New Year's Eve party was eventful as usual. There's always something that happens there. I'm guessing you went."

"Yeah," Dean nodded, but frowned. There wasn't much that was eventful that he could remember. He had drank quite a bit though as he dealt with his growing realization that he was bisexual and needed to confess to someone, "It was interesting. Nothing like the parties one of my school friends throws, but nothing dull. I've, erm, gotta go."

Dean walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. He didn't miss Speedy chastising Castiel for talking to Dean though as if they were friends. If only Speedy really knew.

Now that he was back on school grounds, he decided he didn't really want to hang out with the football players. He just couldn't be bothered with the questions and conversations that his teammates would have. He'd done the obligatory phone call home to tell his parents he'd reached school alright, and now he needed somewhere to go. Back to his room wasn't an option. There was only really one place his teammates wouldn't find him.

Dean checked his jacket pocket for the sneaky smokes he brought back to school with him—he'd ended up picking up the habit again. Surprise, surprise! And then he made his way down to the hut at the other end of the school grounds.

No-one was there when he got there, which was great. He'd be able to sit in peace and think about his options for the rest of the school year. As much as he wanted to spend time with his roommate, he had to plan this carefully. The team couldn't find out and he couldn't really be seen hanging out with Castiel in public.

_That's not gonna be fair to Cas,_ Dean thought to himself with a sigh. No, it wasn't going to be fair. Deep down he knew that, and he hated himself for that. Why the hell did he have to find himself attracted to his roommate in the first place? This was ridiculous.

The feeling of his phone vibrating pulled him out of his thoughts. Checking his text, he took a drag of his cigarette.

_Wanna meet me at the hut? I need to talk to you._

_C_

Maybe Cas had done some thinking over Christmas and New Year, too. Dean wouldn't be surprised if Castiel decided to end the sort of arrangement that they had before the break. He definitely wouldn't blame the guy. Might as well get this over and done with.

_Already down here._

Putting his phone to one side, Dean waited for Cas to get to him. It was only about five minutes later that he heard the sound of someone walking around outside. Dean kept his eyes on the door, waiting for Cas to walk in.

"Hello, Dean." Castiel said in his low voice, closing the hut door behind him.

"Hey, Cas." Dean sighed, pulling his cigarette packet out and offering Cas one before taking another. His roommate gladly accepted, and they smoked in silence for a couple of seconds.

"I was thinking over Christmas," Castiel broke the silence. Dean nodded; just as he expected, "About us."

"I gotcha, Cas," Dean sighed, "So was I."

"Really? What were you thinking about?"

"You first." Dean shook his head. He needed to know what plans his roommate had for them—if there were any.

"Well, I was actually talking to my brother's girlfriend about you. I didn't mention your name, before you panic, or say you were my roommate. I just said you were a guy at school."

"Okay..." Dean waited patiently for Cas to get to the point of this story.

"I was telling her about your dilemma in coming out and she helped me understand," Castiel sighed, "Understand better than I already did. I'm sorry for trying to encourage you to come out to your teammates. I shouldn't have done that. If you are still interested, I would like to help you figure out your feelings and I can be your secret right now if that's what you need."

"You know, I'd just end up hurting you if we continued anything," Dean laughed. His mind was everywhere. He just didn't know what to think right now. Castiel was telling him he wanted to be his secret lover, and Dean was now pushing him away. Just moments earlier he wanted the guy. He'd come out to his best friend, and now he was going to push the guy away. But it would be better for both of them, "Maybe it's for the best that this goes nowhere else. We just forget last semester."

"Is that what you want?" Castiel asked, a mixture of confusion and hurt in his blue eyes. God, those eyes were so gorgeous. No it wasn't what Dean wanted, but it was going to be what he needed, especially right now.

"I don't want to hurt you," Dean sighed, "I've already done that enough while trying to figure out my head. You know, I came out to my best friend and my brother over the break as a way to get my head around things."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Two people I trust with my life."

"That's a start, Dean," Castiel nodded, "There is a chance..."

"Look, a few minutes ago I was thinking about continuing this," Dean admitted, "But it's too risky and you'll only get hurt. Are you some sort of masochist or something?"

"I guess I must be to put up with your crap." Castiel shrugged his shoulders. Dean glared at his roommate and then shook his head. He wasn't going to rise to that. Shaking his head, Dean stood up and put out his cigarette.

"I'm going."

Cas jumped up quickly, and grabbed Dean's arm. The blonde-haired teenager stopped and turned around with a sigh. Their eyes locked, and it seemed like time stopped for a moment. Castiel's hands moved up to Dean's face and he pulled him in for a kiss. The taste of tobacco was all either could taste as their tongues battled for dominance.

Dean couldn't help but move his hands up into Castiel's hair, pulling the older boy towards him. Cas pushed Dean into the door, so the younger of the two was trapped between him and the metal. He pushed his hips forward, making Dean moan at the contact. He should stop this. He knew it would just end up hurting Castiel in the long run. Dean couldn't give Cas anything that he deserved. Dean would never come out to his teammates. Cas would be his dirty little secret.

But this just felt too damn good to stop right now. It felt right. Better than it had ever done before.

Finally, Castiel pulled away from his roommate, looking deep into Dean's green eyes.

"Do you want this to stop completely?"

_No, definitely not_, Dean thought to himself, but he couldn't answer that. He shook his head slowly, a confused frown forming on his features. Castiel smiled and nodded his head.

"Okay then. I guess I'm your dirty little secret for now."

_For now,_ Dean picked up on those words. That meant Cas expected something later. He was going to get hurt.

* * *

It had been three weeks since Cas and Dean had had that kiss in the hut. Sure, they stuck to the deal of things happening in the bedroom but that was it. They never spoke outside of the room, except a civil hello.

Football, school work and partying were all that Dean really could think of. The nights with Castiel hadn't gone much further past kissing. They'd gotten to the point where they would lay on one of their beds, shirtless and sometimes just in boxers, but that was it. Dean wasn't comfortable taking it any further, even if his and Cas' bodies said that they wanted more. It was a step a little too far for Dean.

That was until that night. Dean had come back from an obligatory party in Zach's room. It was Saturday night and they'd won the game the night before. The whole team was celebrating—and to be honest, Dean wanted to celebrate. He'd been on form and it looked great for the scouts that were coming to visit that night. He was in with a good shot for college.

It was getting to headcount—why couldn't the teachers just give them one night off?—and Dean got back to his room after stumbling up the corridor.

"You're hammered!" Castiel raised his eyebrows as Dean crashed into the room. Benny was there chatting to Cas about something, and Dean vaguely saw a worried look on the guy's face. Castiel seemed to brush him off, and Benny left the room quickly. It led to Castiel helping Dean to his bed, so the teacher on duty wouldn't notice that he was completely drunk.

As Dean fell onto his bed, he pulled Castiel down on top of him and gave him a very sloppy kiss. At first, the older roommate returned the kiss but quickly stood back up.

"Not right now, Dean."

Castiel got away just in time. There was a chap at the door, and the teacher on duty peaked his head around it. Once he saw both students in the room, he left them to their nightly activities. Now Cas could get back to Dean, who was sitting up on the bed.

"Maybe I should get you some water." Castiel sighed, but Dean shook his head and pulled his roommate on the bed with him. Dean then kissed him hard, pushing Cas back so he could lay on top of him. He was soon rubbing his hips into Cas', causing the dark-haired man to moan into his mouth.

With all the alcohol in his system, Dean seemed to lose his inhabitations. He lets his hands trail through Cas' hair, down his arms and sides and to the top of his jeans. His lips moved to Cas' ear and neck, as he started to undo his roommate's fly and snaked his hand into his boxers. Dean smiled against Cas' neck to feel the hard member waiting for him.

"Dean?" Castiel questioned, with a mixture of pleasure, shock and confusion. Dean ignored the question though and just started to pump at the member. It felt a little weird, but he was enjoying the sound of his roommate's pleasured moans. He was especially enjoying Cas' hands in his hair and down his back. Dean was getting harder by the minute, and the more Cas moaned, the harder Dean got.

"Dean, I'm...I won't..."

"Come, Cas." Dean whispered into his ear, before nibbling on the lobe. Within seconds, Castiel was coming all over Dean's hand inside his boxers, a low moan escaping his lips. They laid there for a second, too caught up in Cas' comedown to hear the quick knock at the door before it opened.

"Holy shit, dude!"

* * *

**So, again, I'd love to know what you think. I'm seriously thinking about telling this story but from Castiel's POV. It could be interesting for everyone else to see the type of things I imagine going through his head. But that would have to be once I've finished a few other works in progress. Do let me know if you'd be interested in something like that. Thanks! **


	12. Chapter 12

**Thank you again to those who have reviewed/favorited/followed this story.**

**David-786: Thanks again for another honest review. Sharing my RL experience isn't something I do often, but I did want to share that tidbit to explain some of Dean's actions. We do stupid, selfish, horrible stuff when we're teenagers. As for splitting between POVs, I always wanted this story from Dean's POV only and that's the way it's going to be. That being said, the sequel is going to be from Castiel's POV. You'll get the chance to understand him more. I am glad you liked Dean's talk with Jo. It was something that was needed and with how I've written Dean and Jo's relationship, she was the perfect person for him to admit this to.**

**These two really can't catch a break though, can they? There's always someone walking in on them. Anyone guess who it could be and how it's going to turn out? Here it is...**

Chapter 12

_Shit!_ Dean thought to himself, quickly sobering up. He pulled his hand out of Cas' pants and stood up to grab something to wipe his hand off. Cas quickly stood, fastening his jeans.

"Holy shit!" Speedy said again, this time stepping into the room and closing the door behind him. At least he was going to give them some privacy about this rather than let the whole corridor know, "What the fuck."

Dean was about to say something, until Speedy turned on him.

"What the fuck were you doing? You're...you and Cas..." the friend then turned to face Castiel, who was now standing up from Dean's bed, "And you. You and Dean are...wait...I'm confused."

"Look, this is just..." Dean started but what was he going to say? What could he say? "It was a drunken mistake."

"That looked more than a drunken mistake," Speedy shook his head, "You had your hand down his pants, dude. What the fuck were you doing to him?"

It seemed the shock was wearing off for Castiel's friend. That shock was quickly turning into anger, and it was all aimed at Dean.

"What the fuck, you dick! You and your football buddies make his life misery because he's gay, and now this? What? Was this just some sick joke? Are you trying to get into his pants as some bet? Want to see how much you can fucking hurt him?"

"It's not like that, Speedy," Castiel stepped in, but it wasn't doing anything to help the situation, "Dean is...Dean and I, well..."

"Wait, Dean and _I_?" Speedy narrowed his eyes, "You think he likes you? Newsflash, Cas, Dean's a dick. We all know this."

"Yeah, I am a dick," Dean shouted, pushing Speedy backwards, "Like I said, it was a drunken mistake now fuck off."

Castiel shook his head, glaring at his secret lover. The first time Dean said that, he could sort of let it slide. It had hurt, but he kind of understand. The second time...no, Dean had a chance to tell Speedy the truth, and he shot him down.

"How about you fuck off, Dean," Castiel shouted, "A drunken mistake? Just get the fuck outta here."

Dean frowned, looking at Castiel as if he was an injured animal. He knew he'd hurt Castiel with his words, and there was nothing he could do or say right now to make up for it. Shaking his head, Dean quickly left the room, and headed to the one place that he could think of right now. But being almost the end of January, it was cold out and he hadn't grabbed a jacket. Oh well, the cold air would do him some good.

How the fuck could he think that telling Speedy it was a drunken mistake would be good for Cas? How was it good for their relationship-whatever their relationship was? Dean had the chance to own up to Speedy, and he ruined it. He'd had the chance to tell the truth-to prove to Castiel that he wasn't a complete jerk-and he'd fucked that up.

He was back in the hut for a good 20 minutes and got through three cigarettes before someone came looking for him. He looked up with hope in his eyes, but that quickly dropped when he saw Speedy walk in.

"You here to shout at me again?" Dean laughed, standing up so he was ready for the fight.

"You've really done a number of him," Speedy shook his head, "He actually thinks you like him."

"Maybe I do," Dean shrugged his shoulders, "But no, I guess I just have to be messing with his head, right?"

"What do you mean, maybe you do?" Speedy frowned, looking right into Dean's eyes, "Are you? No, you're messing with him, right? You're not actually in the closet, are you?"

"Does it make a difference? I'm still messing with his head, aren't I? You're right, I am a dick."

"A confused dick, by the sounds of it," Speedy sighed, "You know, Cas won't talk to me. He says you have a secret and has asked me to keep what I saw to myself. This is your secret, isn't it? You're gay."

"I'm not gay."

"Then bi," Speedy shrugged his shoulders, "Is that it, dude?"

"I'm not talking to you about this," Dean shook his head and started to leave the hut, but Speedy wasn't going to let him. He pushed Dean back and blocked the door, "What the fuck, man?"

"No, you are talking about this. You see, Cas is one of my best friends in this place and I'm not seeing him get hurt because of your stupid, stubborn ass. What the fuck is going on? How long has it been going on?"

Dean sighed, pulling another cigarette out. He needed it to calm his nerves, but damn he was gonna have to stop relying on them. He'd promised himself months ago that he was going to quit.

"You know, Cas went through the same inner debate when he realized he was gay."

"I'm not gay!" Dean shouted, looking into Speedy's dark eyes. Speedy nodded his head, slowly.

"Okay, sorry," the anger had left his eyes now, and it was replaced with some understanding look that Dean didn't quite want to see. He preferred the anger. Speedy should be angry with him. He was effectively using Cas, "Look, I don't want to see my friend hurt, but he'll get it if you're confused and stuck in that closet. You'd be booted off the team if Newns and the guys found out. You know that."

Dean looked at him with that 'no shit, Sherlock' look he was so good at pulling. Speedy chuckled at his obvious statement.

"I don't wanna see my friend hurt, though. And you're gonna hurt him."

"You don't think I told him that?" Dean shook his head, "But...well...he and I, it's complicated and he decided to put up with my shit. I think I screwed that up now, thanks to my stupid fucking stubborn ass. You're not gonna tell anyone else about this, are you? Or are you just to see my chance at college go to shit?"

"Your chance at college?"

"Football is the only way I'm getting in. If you gossip about this, I lose my position on the team and I lose my chance," Dean explained. It had been the first time he's said it all out loud. Really, the first time he'd really let himself believe it, "So, you wanna ruin my life, that's the way to do it."

Speedy frowned and shook his head, "I'm not gonna tell anyone, dude. Cas doesn't want me to, and I don't know how but you haven't completely screwed it up. I do suggest you apologize and stop acting like a complete dick. He likes you and I guess you do like him. How long has it been going on?"

"A couple of months," Dean shrugged his shoulders, "Look, you're right, I'm gonna hurt him. I'm well and truly in the closet. I'm in fucking Narnia I'm so far in. I'm definitely not ready to tell anyone and I didn't want any of either our friends finding out. I'm trying to figure all this out. It's new for me. Before I got here I was as straight as a guy can get. I had plenty of notches on the bed post, but then Cas...shit I don't know. Something changed."

A rustling outside the hut stopped the boys in their conversation. They looked over the door, waiting to see who it would be. The door opened, but neither could really make out the dark figure since it was so dark outside.

"Winchester! Speed! My office, now!" _Shit_, Dean thought to himself. It was Mr. Crawford, the physics teacher. Just what he needed right now.

* * *

"I know you boys were smoking," Mr. Crawford said, looking between Speedy and Dean, "I should suspend you both, but it is Winchester's first warning. Speed, you know not to be down there. How many times have you been caught?"

"This is my first time, too, sir." Speedy said with a shrug. How many times had he actually been down there, though?

Mr. Crawford didn't seem too impressed with the answer, and quickly checked something in a file. It was Speedy's school file, and sure enough in there was written that Speedy hadn't been caught in the hut before. It looked like the teachers didn't keep that much of an eye on the place.

"Once more and you will be suspended. Same with you, Winchester. I don't want to find either of you down there, again."

"Yes, sir." Dean nodded and followed Speedy out of the office. Just as Dean put his hand on the door, Mr. Crawford called out to him.

"Winchester, choose your friends better," he warned, "Wouldn't want to see you off the football team. Coach Harris says the scouts are interested."

Dean nodded once, before walking out of the office. He couldn't help but slam the door behind him, his anger getting the better of him. How could he be so stupid to get himself caught in the hut? Was this now going to get around the school? Everything was going to shit tonight.

Rubbing his eyes, he looked into the dark eyes of Speedy. He'd obviously waited for him.

"I will keep your secret," Speedy told him, "But you hurt him any more than you already have, and I swear I'll make sure you don't stand a chance."

Dean just nodded his head and stormed up the corridor. He didn't want to deal with this crap right now.

By the time he got back to his room, he was completely sober, still angry and definitely not in the mood to talk. Castiel was still up, though, and clearly wanted to talk.

"You're a dick," Castiel said, his voice low and dangerous, "Just some drunken mistake?"

"I know, I shouldn't have said that." Dean groaned, rubbing his eyes as he kicked off his sneakers. He was already beating himself up for saying it, but he knew Castiel was owed a shot.

"Is that really all that that was?" Cas asked, sitting forward on his bed, "I mean, we've never done that before and you were hammered."

"No, um, it wasn't a mistake," Dean admitted quietly. Was he admitting it to Cas or himself? "I've wanted to get you off like that for a while but, well, I've not really had the guts. The alcohol just helped, okay?"

They both went silent. Dean could see that Castiel was processing the information, so he decided not to say anything else. It was only when the silence got uncomfortable that Dean decided to break it, "Speedy came to see me in the hut, though. Told me you talked to him and warned me to stop hurting you. That's gonna happen, the only thing I can do is end this. I'm not the type of guy you wanna be with, Cas. I really don't know why you put up with my shit."

"Because I see something there, Dean," Cas laughed, "You're not all bad. The way you are with just me and the way you are on the phone with your siblings...you're definitely not a complete jerk. You just have a lot of defense mechanisms and issues to work through. Maybe I'm a masochist for sticking by you, but I also get where you're coming from."

"That's what she said." Dean smirked, making Castiel chuckle.

"Look, Speedy told me he won't say anything," Cas sighed, "He's not the type of gossip. He just wanted to talk to you."

"Yeah, he did that," Dean sighed, "But you shouldn't be with me. I will just hurt you. I'm gonna keep telling you that."

"I'm a big boy," Castiel shrugged his shoulders, "By the way, I'm not returning the favor from earlier. You can stew after calling it all a drunken mistake."

With that Castiel laid in his bed and rolled over to go to sleep. Dean just shook his head, chuckling to himself as he turned out the light and went to sleep in his own bed. He deserved that treatment.

* * *

**Those asking for Castiel to have more of a backbone, there was something here. Along with an explanation as to why Castiel is so accepting of Dean's idiotic, dickish ways. I'd love to hear what you think of this chapter.  
**


	13. Chapter 13

**Hi. Thanks for all the support on this story. It's great to hear that people are enjoying it. I've been toying with the idea of making a few changes to this and actually creating a proper novel out of it. With the feedback I've received, I can see where changes need to be made, so I'd love to get some more from you.**

**Anyway, here's the next chapter for you to enjoy.**

Chapter 13

_Things are crazy, Jo. Fucking crazy. Got caught smoking, got caught with Cas, maybe getting a football scholarship._

Dean sent the text, as he laid on his bed. Sundays were good for one thing. They meant he could relax. There was no need to worry about school or think about anything other than himself. And that's what he was doing right now, while texting his best friend.

_You got caught? Holy shit! You out?_

Chuckling at the comment, Dean quickly replied.

_Nah, still stuck in school. First time caught smoking so on a warning. And Cas' friend caught us. Shouldn't say anything._

Dean bit his lip as he sent the message. Was he sounding like an absolutely jackass by saying that? Jo obviously thought he should come out of the closet. But he wasn't ready to lose everything just yet.

_That's good. And glad to hear about the possible scholarship. What school?_

She was ignoring the jackass comment. Good.

_San Francisco._

_You'd go to Cali? What about your brothers and Charlie?_

She just had to pull them up, didn't she? At what point did he say he was going?

_Never said I was going, nosy. Just said I may be getting a scholarship._

While Dean sent the text, his roommate walked in just in a towel. Dean couldn't help but get hard at the look of Cas' lean figure. He wasn't the most built guy, but God did he have a body. A body Dean just wanted to jump right now.

Cas must have felt eyes on him, because he looked over at Dean with a smirk, "Like what you see?"

"You know I do."

"Wow! No cocky remark?" Cas laughed, "What's gotten into you?"

Dean's phone dinged to say he got another text message, but he decided to ignore it. He could text Jo back later. Sitting up on the bed, he looked directly at Castiel, who was now pulling out clothes.

"Well, you want me to be honest right? And the alcohol is completely out of my system so I guess right now is the best time to be honest."

"Okay." Castiel said, nodding his head. Asking Dean to be honest was one of the conditions of this original arrangement.

"I'm pissed off that Speedy found out," Dean started, "Really pissed off, but it's happened. He better keep his mouth shut, by the way."

"He will do."

"Good," Dean nodded, "I enjoyed last night, more than I thought I would. This whole getting naked thing with you is freaking me out, I gotta admit. I mean, I've had sex—plenty of sex—but never with a guy, you know."

"I guessed that, Dean."

"Yeah, well, the whole hand job thing," Dean swallowed hard, "I'm, erm, up for it continuing but I don't wanna move much quicker right now."

"Okay," Castiel nodded, "I think that is for the best."

Dean nodded his head, watching Castiel carefully. Did he really think it was for the best, or was it all just a ploy to keep something going? Was he just trying to prevent Dean from lashing out at something?

"You know, we should lock the door from now on," Dean now pointed out, "I don't want any of your friends or my teammates walking in."

"Teammates? They're not your friends?" Castiel heard the distinction, and Dean couldn't help but shrug. He'd never really thought of them as friends, but others clearly had thought he would. Castiel clearly thought he would view them as friends. No, they weren't friends. If they were really friends, he would be able to have a decent conversation with them.

_Can't Fight This Feeling_ started playing from Dean's phone, and he sighed, "Jo."

"REO Speedwagon?" Castiel asked with a laugh, as Dean picked up his cell phone from the bed. He couldn't help but shrug his shoulders again. He'd explain how it was his and Jo's song another time.

* * *

Another week had passed since that conversation and it was Dean's birthday. Not that he really cared about his birthday. It was never a big deal for him, but others absolutely loved celebrating it for him. Who was he to stop them?

This year would be different. He'd told the football team that he just wanted to drink, and they were all up for that. Of course, he had an idea that a prank was coming. He'd been around for Zach's birthday, and that led to the poor guy being handcuffed to the football goal post in just his boxers. If it wasn't for inspections that day, he'd have been left longer than the two hours he was left.

Dean was weary about anything the boys were going to do to him today, but he would deal with it if it came to it. He could fight them off if he really needed to, and would do.

"Winchester, training in 10 minutes!" Zach opened the bedroom door to shout through to him. Dean looked up at him through bleary eyes and then at the clock. It wasn't even 5am. Why were they having training at this time? Was this part of the prank? He'd have to keep his wits about him.

Castiel sat up and watched as Dean threw on his kit, before laying back down with a groan covering his face. Dean couldn't help but chuckle at his roommate. At least Cas didn't know it was his birthday.

Once Dean finally got out there, he saw the whole team jogging on the spot waiting for him.

"C'mon Winchester," Cain growled at him, "Let's get this over with."

"Why are we training at this time?"

"Playoffs are in two weeks. That's why." Zach shouted, before telling them all to get running. _Great, extra training for doing so well._ Maybe it wasn't to do with his birthday, after all. It turned out that it wasn't anything to do with his birthday. An hour later, they were allowed to get back to the showers, with Zach warning them they would have training like this every Monday, Wednesday and Thursday morning. There would also be a two-hour training session on Sundays to make sure they got to the finals.

_Just great,_ Dean groaned, making his way into the locker room to get showered and changed. That was all he needed. Dean Winchester was not a morning person.

* * *

"I will pass the message on for you, Mrs. Winchester." Castiel's voice caught Dean's attention as he walked into the shared bedroom. Why was he talking to his mom? As Dean looked around the door, he saw Castiel standing by the window on Dean's cell phone. Dean pointed at it with a frown, just as Castiel hung up with a smirk.

"Your mom wouldn't stop ringing, birthday boy," Castiel moaned, throwing the phone to Dean, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Why should I tell you?" Dean asked.

"I thought we were together," Cas shrugged, "It's something we'd tell each other."

"I don't know when your birthday is," Dean shrugged his shoulders, putting the phone on his desk and pulling out his school things. Castiel just watched him for a moment, before getting dressed, "And I just don't do birthdays, 'kay?"

"September 18," Castiel replied, before walking over to Dean and kissing his lips gently, "And happy birthday."

Dean smiled while Cas kissed him. He couldn't help but pull his boyfriend—were they that yet?—closer to him and deepen the kiss. A knock at the door caused him to groan, but he quickly walked away from Cas and packed his school things into a bag.

"Yeah?" Cas frowned at Dean's quick change in demeanor, but called out to whoever it was to enter. Speedy opened the door, walked into the room, and closed the door behind him.

"I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"

Speedy had been more considerate after walking in that first time. While he and Dean weren't exactly on friendly terms, Speedy was keeping his secret and he couldn't complain about that. In fact, he owed the guy and it meant Dean was more civil to him. It didn't take long for Benny to find out that things were escalating between the two roommates. Since Benny was Speedy's roommate, Dean often wondered whether he'd said something but Cas reassured him that they could trust both his friends. The football team would not find out about their fling.

"You're not," Cas shook his head, "I was just wishing Dean a happy birthday."

"Cas." Dean turned to face Castiel with a frown. He did not want that many people knowing it was his birthday. Speedy raised his eyebrows, quickly mumbling 'happy birthday' before getting on with what he really came to the room for.

"You got a few minutes before breakfast?"

"I'll see you later." Dean wasn't hanging around for this and walked out of the room with his school bag. He could catch up on some school work before breakfast, at least. Suppose there was one good thing about the early start.

Later that day, Dean was with Zach and Cain down by the lakeside. The lake had been introduced to Dean a few months ago, and it was a good place to come just to relax. There was also a decent running path around it. Nobody went into it though. There was something about it being used as a dumping ground.

Dean later found out that it wasn't quite a lake. It was actually a stream, but the teens and teachers regularly referred to it as a lake. It didn't make sense to him, but he wasn't bothered about questioning the logic. He soon found out that upstream, it was used as a dumping ground and it wasn't the best quality of water.

As they threw a football to each other, they chatted about the upcoming game. Dean couldn't wait to get back on the field. They were playing the Sharks again—the team they'd gotten into a fight with. It would be a good chance to get some revenge for the fight the last time. Not that Dean was going to get into a fight. The scouts from San Francisco University were coming back, and Dean really wanted to make a good impression. Jo was almost pushing him to leave Lawrence and get to San Francisco for a fresh start; he'd be more than accepted in the city, too. She would even look at colleges out there if he wanted a friendly face with him.

He had to admit that would be good, but he needed to get the scholarship first. Going to college in state was difficult enough already. Going out of state would really push it if he didn't get a full ride. He needed it. And that meant doing really well in this game. He had to show just how awesome he was.

"Hey, Winchester, are you even listening?" Zach asked with a laugh, throwing him the ball. Dean caught it easily and shook his head.

"Sorry, I was thinking about the game. We need to beat the sons of bitches."

"Oh we will," Cain laughed, "If you'd been listening, you'd have heard our little plan."

"What plan?" Uriel asked as he and Raphael walked over to the group. There was a look between his four teammates; one that Dean definitely didn't miss. Suddenly, the four boys turned on him with mischievous grins.

"Get him." Zach laughed.

Dean realized that this was getting ready for the prank. He had no idea what it was, but he had fallen into it. He needed to get away. Throwing the football at one of them, Dean ran as fast as he could towards the lake and then across the path. He was doing well until he saw Ezekiel and three other members of the team rushing towards him.

"Aww, shit!" Dean just stopped. There was no getting away from them. He just waited for the eight boys to get to him and felt himself being picked up. He tried to fight them off, but the only time he got out of their grasps was when he ended up in the goddamn lake.

Dean snapped his eyes and mouth closed as he felt himself flying through the air. He knew where he was going now, and didn't want to get the water in either of them. As soon as he came up for air, he ran his hands through his hair and tread water the best he could. Thank the Gods that he was in his sports kit and not his uniform still. That would have been crap.

Now he knew why nobody got into the lake regularly. He could barely tread water without getting whatever was at the bottom of the lake tangled around his leg. And the water was murky and really did stink.

Dean swam to the side, as the boys stepped back from him, "So, I'm not even getting any help to get out?"

"Oh hell no!" Cain laughed, "You'll pull us in, too. And I wouldn't want to end up in there."

Dean climbed out onto the bank and laid on his back. The eight boys looked down on him, laughing at the sight. Dean did have to admit that it was funny, and it was one moment he really felt like part of the team. He sort of felt like a friend to them, as dickish as they could be at times.

"Dude," Zach start, wrinkling up his nose, "You smell like a toilet."

Dean just looked up at the quarterback and glared at him. He was not impressed.

"Go grab a shower," Uriel laughed, "Raph and me are going into the city for some alcohol for tonight. Anything the birthday boy want in particular?"

Dean rolled his eyes and pulled himself to his sopping wet feet, telling them to surprise him. Damn it, he needed to wash and dry his running shoes now! Did he even have a second pair suitable for training? Probably not.

"Happy birthday, Winchester." Ezekiel laughed as Dean walked back to the school. Dean just flipped the boy off with a laugh, heading straight for his room.

Hopefully there would be nobody in here. He didn't really want to explain to Cas what had happened. He just couldn't be lucky, though. Cas and Benny were sitting on Cas' bed looking through a text book, talking about something in it.

"Hey." Dean offered a weak smile before grabbing the towel from the back of his desk chair.

"What the hell happened to you?" Cas asked, standing up from the bed. Benny was laughing at the sight of his friend's roommate.

"The lake," Dean shook his eyes, "The team decided it would be a good prank to throw me in it. Guess it's better than being chained to the football posts for two hours in just my underwear." It really was better than that. At least it just meant washing a load of clothes. Actually, Dean considered just jumping into the shower in everything he was wearing and hoping that would get some of the dirt and whatever else from the lake out of them.

"You stink, brother." Benny shook his head, scrunching his nose up.

"You should become a detective," Dean pointed out with raised eyebrows, before looking at Cas, "Look, I might not be back until headcount once I'm changed. I'll see you later, okay."

Cas nodded his head and started walking back to his bed to hang out with Benny. Dean grabbed his hand with his own wet one, catching Cas' attention again. The frown that developed on Cas' face looked cute, and gave Dean the confidence to do what he was about to do. With a quick glance at Benny, Dean kissed Cas on the lips.

"Not a word, Benny." Dean warned before walking out of the room, towel in hand. Cas deserved some public display of affection, and Dean could do it if he was sure he could trust certain people. He knew who to blame if anyone heard about it.

"I'm not one to gossip." Dean heard behind him just after hearing his bedroom door close. With a sigh, he closed his eyes and waited for Benny to catch up to him, "I won't say anything. But you better not hurt him. He deserves someone who wants to be with him, and not someone who's experimenting."

"I know," Dean nodded, "But he's up for this as much as I am. But you gotta understand that it would be social suicide for me."

Dean couldn't have this conversation in the hallway, so he walked towards the bathroom. Benny wouldn't let up.

"There's more to life than your reputation."

"It's not just my reputation I'd lose. I'd lose everything. Football, the chance at a scholarship, the chance at college. I'm guessing Speedy did keep his mouth shut last night."

There was some sort of recognition in Benny's eyes. He seemed to click what Dean was really talking about, "You need a full ride."

It wasn't a question, but Dean nodded his head anyway, "So I need football."

"Does Cas know?"

Dean shrugged his shoulders, "I've tried to...I guess not really."

"You should tell him, brother," Benny explained, "He'd understand that. Right now, he just thinks you're not ready to come out."

"I don't know if I am," Dean sighed, hanging the towel over the rail outside of the shower, "This is all new to me, okay? All completely new and I'm not completely comfortable discussing it with you."

"Okay," Benny nodded his head, "Look, your secret is safe with me. Tell Cas the whole issue, though. He'll understand about the full ride. You're not the only one who wants one. Just...don't hurt him intentionally. You've come a long way the last few weeks. You're even kissing him in front of me. Keep going, I'll soon stop thinking of you as a jackass."

With that, Benny left Dean to his shower and his thoughts. There were things he hadn't spoken to Cas about, things that they should have talked about. Dean didn't think of this guy as just a lay. He wanted a friend, maybe a boyfriend. They'd have to talk about plans after school eventually if they were planning on continuing something. Even if they weren't, they could be friends after all this. Hell, Dean would need one with all the questions that he was thinking.

* * *

Hours later, he found himself with plenty of alcohol in his system and not able to get his roommate off his mind. More important, he couldn't get the thought of his roommate kissing him with hands roaming everywhere out of his mind. Dean took a swig of the beer in his hand. He couldn't have these thoughts around his teammates. They'd never understand and then he'd be off the team.

What wasn't helping is that they were plotting something against Castiel and his friends. Dean hated that he was stuck in the middle of them, but couldn't really tell them why he was stuck in the middle.

"How about you just leave the guy alone?" Dean finally sighed, the alcohol giving him more confidence than he should really have.

"You really have gone soft for the queer, haven't you?"

"No. He's my roommate. Look, I need to stay outta trouble, and you guys really ain't making it easy." There was no way they could find out. Too much was riding on this.

"Whoa, sorry. Didn't know you liked the fag." Zach laughed, causing Dean to roll his eyes. He looked at the quarterback from where he sat on the desk and shook his head.

"Don't like, just...I just don't want any shit from him and his friends. You forget that I'm in a room with him."

"You know, we could get you into one of our rooms," Uriel offered, "Cain, you don't have a roommate, do you?"

"Not anymore," Cain shook his head, "Aaron or whatever his name was left." Sometimes it happened. Students decided they didn't want to stay at the boarding school and their parents could get them out and into another school. If only it was that easy for Dean. He'd love to just pluck himself out of this whole situation right now. In fact, he'd have done it months ago before his feelings for Cas got out of hand.

But now the team were helping him sort of get out of the situation. He could move into Cain's room, and it would take him away from Cas. Getting out of a room with Castiel could...no, it wouldn't help. It may have started because Cas was his roommate, but Dean realized over Christmas break that it wasn't just that. He had genuine feelings for the guy.

"It wouldn't be a problem if you'd just stop making life hard for me."

"You sure something else being hard isn't a problem?" Raphael now laughed.

"That was shit, man." Ezekiel laughed, shaking his head. It was shit, but Dean knew what Raphael was getting at. He was on about Cas getting hard around Dean. If only they knew what went on behind closed doors.

"Look, I'm not talking about it anymore," Dean sighed, finishing his beer, "It's my birthday and I say we drink more!" That's right. He was going to use the birthday card.

* * *

Dean stumbled back to his room with just a couple of minutes left until headcount. God, he hated this headcount shit. It was like the teachers didn't trust them. Not that they should considering they were constantly breaking rules. No smoking and no alcohol were two rules that Dean regularly broke.

As he stumbled into his room, he collapsed onto the bed, watching the ceiling spin. Got, he was going to be sick.

Sitting up, he looked over at Cas. His roommate was looking at him from his bed, concern evident in his blue eyes. God, those blue eyes were so intense and so sexy.

"Headcount, boys." A teacher called out, pulling Dean out of his thoughts. Once the door was closed again, Dean walked over and locked it, turning his attention back to his roommate.

"Dean, are you okay?"

"I...I jus' ha' bit to drinks, s'all," Dean slurred, making his way over to Castiel's bed, "I's fine." As he fell onto the bed, he started laughing, but looked up to see Castiel's frown. Aww, he was concerned about him. Dean couldn't help but trace the features, and then hooked an arm around Cas' neck. He pulled his roommate down on the bed, so they could kiss.

"Dean, is this a good idea?"

"Yes." Dean said clearly, pulling his roommate down again for another kiss. They deepened their kiss, just before Castiel broke away to shift his position on the bed, so Dean could move upwards. Once they were laid next to each other, Castiel leaned back down for another kiss. Their hands started roaming around each other, and Dean couldn't help but smile.

"I was thinkin' 'bout this all night." He admitted, pulling Cas' top up and over his head. Castiel followed the unsaid orders, and grinned.

"Yeah? How far did your thoughts go?"

"No' that far," Dean shrugged, pushing Cas back on the bed. He leaned over him and took his own top off. His mouth went to Cas' neck and ear, making him moan in pleasure, "Turned me on. Ha' to stop thinking about it after a while...Around the guys, you know."

"Mmm." Cas moaned, but Dean could hear the annoyance in his voice. Deciding to ignore it, Dean let his lips trail down to Castiel's chest and he just couldn't help but suck so he would leave a mark. Cas' hands now moved to the back of Dean's neck, just to the hairline. It prompted Dean to move his hands to Cas' trousers to start unbuttoning them.

"Not tonight," Cas stopped him, pulling him back up. At first Dean was confused, but then Cas continued, "Birthday boys get all the attention and pleasure."

That wasn't going to be something Dean argued with. He let Cas roll them over, so his legs were either side Dean's hips. Then his tongue and lips started doing wonders on his neck and down his chest. Dean could feel himself getting harder in his jeans. They were getting far too restrictive. He wanted—no he needed—them off.

As if he was reading his mind, Cas unfastened Dean's jeans. All Dean thought was that a hand would sneak under his boxers—the usual for them on a night now—but Cas went one step further and pulled his jeans off. Dean was left in just his boxers, until Cas pulled them down to let Little Dean out.

"Erm, Cas," Dean was drunk but he was quickly sobering up at the idea, "We...I..."

The look on Cas' face told Dean to shut up and just trust him. Gulping, Dean just watched as Cas went down and engulfed Dean's member with his mouth. _Oh my God!_ Dean thought to himself, his eyes rolling into the back of his head. This was better than that stranger at Ash's party. It was better than any other girl he'd been with. Cas seriously knew what he was doing in this department.

As he felt Cas' tongue lick up the underside of his cock and then over his slit, Dean couldn't help but moan louder. _Shit_, Dean thought to himself. He was going to need to be quieter than that.

One of Cas' hands started rubbing Dean's cock, while the other massaged into his thigh. His tongue continued to lip at the tip, and Dean did everything he could to keep his moans to a minimum. It felt good; too good. This all had to be a dream.

To check if it was, Dean started playing with Cas' hair. No that felt too real, it couldn't be a dream. The motion seemed to encourage Cas to envelope Dean's dick with his mouth again, though this time getting him to suck on the way down. Dean's back arched from the pleasure as Cas continued his actions, rolling his tongue over the underside now and then. It wasn't much longer before Dean felt himself about to come.

"Cas, I'm...I'm gonna come..." He managed to get out, but Cas didn't move away. Instead, he placed one hand on Dean's balls, making Dean exploded. He couldn't help but grip at Cas' shoulder with the hand that was originally in his hair, with the other going to his mouth to keep himself quiet.

As he came down from his high, Dean looked down at Cas. His roommate was now kneeling over him again, looking down and licking his lips.

"That was...it was...wow!" Dean didn't really know what to say. He just knew he had to say how good it felt. God, did it feel good! It was amazing. Cas just smiled and laid next to Dean. Instantly, the birthday boy felt his roommate's hardness. Dean needed to do something, but could he really try giving a blow job? He didn't even know how to give one.

He owed it to Cas to try, though, didn't he? No, he was sobering up now and he didn't feel confident enough to try. Instead, he unfastened his friend's trousers and reached a hand inside them and his boxer.

"Mmm, Dean," Cas moaned, his blue eyes fluttering closed. Dean grinned and leaned down to kiss him. He could taste himself on Cas' lips. It wasn't as bad as he expected—that was something else putting him off at the idea. It didn't take Cas too long to come, gripping Dean's arm and back of the neck, pulling him closed for a deep kiss. Once his roommate caught his breath, he opened his eyes and looked into Dean's green ones, "You didn't have to..."

"Of course, I did," Dean smiled, "But the blowjob, erm...I'm..."

"I know," Cas nodded, "I know it's a big step for you but I wanted to do it. Call it your birthday present since I didn't know to actually get you something."

Dean laid back on the bed and allowed Cas to lay his head on his chest. This felt good, especially when Castiel started drawing lazy patterns over his chest. It was starting to feel comfortable, like something that should have happened a long time ago. A part of him was finally being found, and he enjoyed it. But outside of this room there was the reality that no-one could know; well, no-one but Benny and Speedy.

"Erm, I was talking to Benny earlier," Dean cleared his throat, as he thought about the previous conversation, "He threatened me like Speedy tried. You know, with Benny, I actually take his threat a little more serious. He looks like he'd be a worthy opponent."

"Okay. Where's this going, Dean?" Dean could tell that there would be frown on his roommate's face, and it made Dean smile.

"Right. Well, I...he...he thinks you should know one of the reasons why I can't tell anyone that I'm bisexual," Dean sighed, "It isn't just because it would be social suicide."

"I know," Cas nodded, sitting up to look into Dean's eyes, "You don't want to lose your place on the football team."

"Not just want—I can't lose my place," Dean clarified, "I, erm, well I need it if I want a chance of college. My family can't afford it, so I need a scholarship. Otherwise I ain't going."

"Really?" Cas smiled, tilting his head to one side. So, Benny was right. Cas did understand, "I didn't think you thought about college."

"Yeah, me neither," Dean shrugged, "Guess this place is changing me in more ways than one. But that's why."

"Why didn't you tell me this before?"

Why didn't Dean tell him this before? That was the big question, and one that Dean wasn't really sure about the answer on, "I'm not sure. I guess part of it was because money is a touchy subject, but because I didn't really want to admit all these changes that were happening to me."

"And now you do?"

"Yeah, now I do." Dean nodded with a smile and kissed Castiel gently, before getting up off the bed. It was time for them to sleep, and Dean wasn't going to do that in his roommate's bed.

* * *

**I just had to take their relationship that little bit further. It looks like everything is on the up for them and I'd love to know what you think about this chapter...  
**


	14. Chapter 14

**Hi. Thank you again for your feedback. It means a lot that people are taking the time to tell me what they think, even if they just want to tell me they want to see another chapter.**

**As you know, I'm working on a sequel for this story but I'm currently struggling with time to write it and making the story flow. I'm not too worried about it yet, as I'm not even halfway through posting this story, but I just wanted to let you know just in case I do start to struggle to get it completed in time.**

**Anyway, here's the next chapter and it's time for a little more football.**

Chapter 14

Game night. It was game night and Dean needed to keep his head. He wouldn't let the Sharks get to him again.

This time his head was completely in the game from the beginning. The scouts were back and they were looking at Dean and Zach. There was a chance that he'd get the full ride. He was actually excited at the idea. Excited that he would be able to go to college. He knew people back home wouldn't accept the man that he was becoming, so he would need a fresh start. And as Jo kept telling him—and Sam now—San Francisco was the place for that start. It would be perfect for him.

He just needed to show off his awesome skills on the field tonight. And he could definitely do that.

"Good luck, Dean." Cassie flirted as he ran past her. Keeping up the charade, he winked at her and huddled with his team members. He couldn't help but glance up at the stands, though. There they were, Cas and his friends watching the game. Despite Cas having little interest in football, he'd admitted to attending the home games just to see Dean in action. It felt good to know that he was there to support him, even if it was in secret.

"Okay, we gotta get them this time," Zach told the team, "We can do this. They don't stand a chance against us."

"Just keep your heads in the game, this time," the coach warned the boys, "One fight and you're all done for."

"Yes, coach." The team said unanimously, and broke ready to get on the field. They were on offense first, just the way Dean liked to play it.

"Hey Winchester, dropping any balls tonight?" One of the guys laughed across from him. Dean decided to ignore it, and wait for the break from the line. As soon as the ball was snapped to Zach, Dean ran down the field close enough to the quarter back. Zach passed him the ball, just as Uriel and Rapheal blocked the two defenders coming his way. There was a large open space for Dean to run through. He couldn't believe it. This was going to be one easy touchdown. He grabbed the ball and ran to the line, grinning as he did a little dance after throwing the ball to the floor. Now, the rest of the game just had to go that way.

Seven minutes into the first quarter was the first problem, though. The boys were winning and the Sharks were not happy about it; not one bit. Things were started to get heated, but the boys were keeping cool. Dean's temper was starting to flair, but he could keep it in check. His future was riding on this.

Zach shouted out the play from the field, and Dean was ready. It was another one for the two of them to show off their skills and their teamwork. But the other team was cottoning on. They were ready for Dean to rush towards the line. Suddenly out of nowhere, Dean felt someone hit him from the side. He went down hard, pain shooting up his back and into his neck, just as his head hit the ground.

Stay down if you know what's good for you, Winchester." The guy shouted, as Dean rolled onto his side in pain. God, that was hard.

Before he knew it, his whole team was around him, Zach kneeling down to make sure he was okay. Dean managed to get his helmet off and then leaned back on the ground.

"I'm okay," he said, "Just winded. Someone help me up."

Zach grinned and pulled his friend up, getting him to his feet. Dean glared at the guy who ran into him. He'd love to get his hands around his neck, but he would settle for some on the field action. It turned out the ball had been turned over with that incident, so the offense definitely had time to discuss their next play to make sure Dean got his own back.

Dean walked slowly back to the bench. Something in his back was hurting, but Dean assumed it was a pulled muscle. He'd stretch it out while he could, and it gave him a chance to glance up at the crowd. Castiel had a look of horror and fear on his face. Dean smirked and shook his head, groaning at the tightness in his neck. Rubbing his neck, he winked at his roommate, making it clear that he was fine. Then he glanced over at Cassie, who was mouthing something to him. He guessed she was checking that he was okay, so he nodded his head throwing her a wink, too.

It wasn't long before he was back on the field. This time, they were going to play a little dirty. It was going to look like the ball was going to Dean; hopefully that would lead the guy over to his end. Just as that happened, Cain, Uriel and Ezekiel would join Dean, crushing the guy from four sides. The guy went down, just as the referee blew his whistle.

"Hey, that was on purpose!" One of the guys shouted from the bench.

"Sorry, just some miscommunication between my guys, ref," Zach rushed over, as the four teammates walked away from each other, "We're trying out new plays."

The referee wasn't sure who to believe. He knew deep down that it was planned, but there wasn't really any proof. It was one team against another.

That retaliation did turn the game into a dirty one the rest of the night. Dean tried to keep himself out of it, and kept an eye on anyone coming towards him. He'd roped one of the junior blockers to make sure he was covered as much as possible. He needed to show the scouts that he could rise above all this. Hopefully, that one bit of revenge wasn't going to ruin it all. Damn, he hated these Sharks.

"Yeah man!" Zach shouted, as he high-fived Dean, "That play was awesome."

"Hey, you're the one who came up with it."

"But you were awesome!" Zach laughed, "The way you jumped that guy and then danced around the other..."

"It was rather impressive, Mr. Winchester," a deep voice said behind them as they collected their bags from the benches, "You would be a great asset to our team. And yourself, Mr. Newns. Maybe we could go somewhere to discuss your futures."

Dean and Zach looked at each other with grins that even the Cheshire Cat would have difficulty beating. Everything was falling into place.

"Hey, Dean!" Cassie called out, as she and Tammi ran over to them, "Great game."

"Thanks," Dean smiled and moved his head towards the two scouts that were standing in front of them, "We've gotta chat but maybe later."

"Sure." Cassie smiled, flirting with him. He couldn't help but throw her a wink, before following the scouts back into the school. Coach Harris' office would be perfect.

* * *

Dean couldn't help but dance his way up the corridor to the locker room. He did the running man into the locker room, with Zach laughing behind him.

"Good news, I'm guessing?" Uriel laughed, watching the two teenagers. Even Zach was dancing around like a lunatic.

"You betcha," Zach laughed as Dean jumped up on the bench, "I think this boy needs some music, although his dance moves look very 90s."

"Nothing wrong with the 90s," Dean laughed, "Well, except the music. But then, the decades haven't been kind to music since the early 80s."

"You look like an idiot." Raphael laughed. All the boys were already showered and changed. It was just Dean and Zach who needed to use the showers. But the boys had waited around to hear how the meeting with the two scouts had gone.

"I don't care," Dean laughed, "I'm going to college. All I gotta do is pass my SATs and I'm going to college."

"Yeah, you gotta pass 'em, Winchester," Coach Harris shouted, making Dean jump. He quickly got off the bench, as the boys looked at their coach, "You better find someone who can help you with your math or you're not going to college. No matter what those scouts said. But well done on your football scholarships guys. Apart from that one spat, you deserve them after tonight's game."

Dean and Zach grinned at their coach again, before he left with a small wave. Dean knew right there and then that it was time to get serious about school work; and he knew just the person who could help him with his math.

Dean reached his room, his grin still not leaving. He'd done all the obligatory phone calls to his parents and best friend. He'd text Sammy to tell him the good news and now it was time to tell Cas. Well, more like it was time to talk Cas into helping him with his school work.

Cas jumped up off the bed as soon as Dean walked in, rushing over to him. Dean shut the door quickly, as Cas' mouth connected to his own. His roommate's kisses were frantic and messy, as his hands roamed everywhere.

"Hey!" Dean pulled back, grabbing Cas' shoulders to push him backwards, "What's this for?"

"When you went down! Oh my God, I was scared," Castiel admitted, "This is why I hate football. It's such a dangerous and lethal game. Why do you have to play something so dangerous? You could have been seriously hurt."

"Yeah, I coulda, but I wasn't," Dean shrugged his shoulders, "Besides, I love the adrenaline rush I get from it." He had to admit, having someone who was so scared for him did feel good. It meant that Cas really did care. He remembered back at his old high school. Lisa wouldn't get that worried if Dean was tackled. Being a cheerleader, she knew the risks of the game and had seen it happen plenty of times. Although, the most recent games didn't have that many bad tackles. Cas would get used to them happening eventually.

"I just," Cas sighed, "I didn't really know what to think. You didn't get up straight away and, well, I worried."

"I can see," Dean raised his eyebrows and then looked out of the window, "Hey, why don't we get down to the hut. I've got some celebrating to do, anyway."

"Celebrating?"

"I got offered a scholarship," Dean grinned, "Full ride to SFU. I just gotta pass my SATs."

"That's awesome, Dean," Cas grinned, "Well done. But that means football games like that will happen more often, right?"

"Yeah, it does," Dan laughed, "But that's a good thing. Remember I love football. Anyway, hut?"

"Sure." Cas smiled, and the two rushed down to their little hide-away spot. Castiel instantly pulled out a packet of cigarettes and offered Dean one. However, he didn't take it. He pushed the whole packet to one side, and closed in on the boy in front of him. Smoking would just stop them from being able to do something he wanted to do right now.

Cas' personal space was completely taken over by Dean, as he pressed his lips to Cas'. His roommate wrapped his arms around Dean's neck, pulling the two of them as close as possible, and they started battling for dominance. Dean won, though, pushing Castiel up against the back of the hut. Pushing his hips against Cas', he smirked when he heard the gasp of pleasure.

Dean was just about to move his lips to Cas' ear when he heard the rustling outside of someone coming into the hut. Groaning, Dean pushed himself off his roommate, just as the door opened. It wasn't good. Dean came face to face with his coach.

"Winchester, what are you doing down here? My office this minute. And you Mr. Novak."

_Shit, now this means trouble,_ Dean thought to himself as he walked into Coach Harris' office, followed by Castiel.

"What were you doing down there?" the coach asked, eyes on Dean, "You know that hut is off limits."

"Yes, coach," Dean sighed, not arguing with the man. To be honest, this was one teacher in the school that he had too much respect for to argue with. But the respect wasn't going to be enough to get Dean out of this. He'd already been warned, "I'm sorry."

"You know I can't do anything. If you were on your own, I could pretend that I didn't see you. But," Coach Harris turned his eyes to Castiel, "You've been caught down there four times, Mr. Novak, at least. Surely you should have learned after your suspension last year."

"Yeah, sir," Castiel sighed, "I, erm..."

"It was my fault coach," Dean sighed, "I was telling him about the scholarship and then started panicking about the SATs. I mean, math really ain't my strong point, as you said. He suggested we get away from the school for a bit so I could calm down."

"I don't want to hear it, Winchester," Coach Harris sighed, "I've got no choice. I wasn't the only one to see you head down that way. Mr. Tanner saw you, too."

"Shit."

"Language boy," the coach warned but his face said it all. He would have let them both get away with this if Tanner hadn't seen them, "You know I have no choice in the matter. You're both suspended for the week."

"But coach..." Dean argued, "The game next week."

"It's a good job you got your scholarship offer, isn't it?" He shook his head, his hands clearly sighed.

"I can't be suspended." Dean was almost begging the guy now.

"You shoulda thought about that before you went down there, Winchester," Coach Harris said, "Your suspension starts from tomorrow morning."

Dean and Cas left the office dejected and annoyed. Well, Dean was annoyed. How the hell was he supposed to tell his mom that he was suspended? She'd kill him.

Dean slammed the bedroom door behind him and started pacing the floor. What the fuck was he meant to say? He promised no more trouble, and now he was suspended. He'd been doing so well, too. It wasn't that he was scared of her being pissed. Dean knew he was going to disappoint her, and that was always worse. Now, with his dad, he was definitely going to be pissed and the idea of a pissed of John Winchester did freak him out a little.

"Dean?" Cas asked from his own bed. He'd already pulled out a bag to start packing some stuff for the week.

"My mom is gonna kill me." Dean laughed, placing his hands now on his desk before slamming one of his fists into it. Cas walked over to him, grabbing his hand.

"Dean, look at me," Cas told him, but Dean ignored, "Look at me, Winchester."

Dean frowned and turned his attention to Cas. They stared into each other's eyes for a few seconds before Cas told him that he had a plan if Dean was up for it. It would mean Dean's parents would never have to find out about the suspension.

"You could stay with me, if you wanted." Cas shrugged his shoulders.

"But your brother…"

"My brother won't care about this," Cas sighed, almost disappointed at the idea of that, "It's happened enough times, now. The only problem would be the letter getting sent home to your parents. If you can find a way around your parents getting that, they'd never have to find out. Is there anyone at home who can get it?"

Dean frowned, but nodded. There was someone who would help him out right now. At least, he hoped his little brother would help him out. And it would make things so much easier, but could he really stay with Cas? There would be nothing holding them back when it came to affection and public displays. Cas may want more from Dean than he was able to offer.

But did he really want to face the disappointment of his mother and anger from his father. They'd just told him how proud they were that he got the scholarship offer. No, he couldn't destroy all the good he'd done, "Okay, but us…I'm…"

"I know, Dean," Cas nodded, "I'm not expecting anything more between us. But it would be nice to hang out and maybe go out for a meal together. What do you think about that?"

"Maybe," Dean nodded, not really thinking about it. They could go out as friends, anyway, and it would be easier without his teammates watching him, "I've gotta make a phone call first. See if my brat of a brother is willing to help out."

"Hey, Sammy. What's up?" Dean asked, speaking into the phone. He sat forward on his bed, one elbow on his knee, while the other held the phone to his ear.

"Erm, not much since you phoned an hour ago," Sam laughed, clearly realizing that something was going on, "What's up? What you done?"

"Who says I've done anything, Sammy?"

"Two phone calls in the space of an hour, Dean-yeah, I heard ya on the phone to Mom. You've done something. What is it?"

"I've been suspended," Dean sighed, his 16-year-old brother knew him far too well, "Now, don't say anything and stop pulling that bitch face."

"You can't see my face, Dean."

"I know what you're doing," Dean laughed, "Look, I kinda need you to do something for me so Mom and Dad don't find out. Think you can get a letter for me and hide it?"

Sam didn't want to do it. He was the goody two-shoes in the family. If Charlie was any older, Dean would have asked her to help him out, but she was only eight. There was no way she'd do this. It had to be Sam.

"What did you do, Dean? You getting into fights again?"

"Actually, no," Dean answered honestly, "Was just caught somewhere I shouldn't have been. I went for a smoke and…"

"You're smoking again? I thought you quit."

"Yeah, don't tell Mom and Dad that, okay? Look, please will you do this for me."

Sam had to ask more questions, though. He wanted details; more like details of where Dean would go for a week if he wasn't going to come home. Dean was as honest as possible, but he didn't want to pull Sam into this much more than he had. He hated asking for this favor as it was.

"I'm staying with my roommate. He was suspended, too."

"Your roommate, huh?" Sam started reading between the lies, "Oh God, you were just caught smoking right. You and him weren't…ugh, I can't believe I'm even asking that. I don't wanna know, Dean."

"We weren't caught doing that," Dean chuckled at his brother's thought process, "So, will you look out for any letter from the school? Please, Sammy, you know I'd do the same for you."

"I wouldn't get suspended, Dean," Sam sighed, "That's your shtick remember. But, yes I'll do it this once. That's it, though. You promised you wouldn't get in trouble anymore."

"I know, I know," Dean sighed, "If it wasn't for just getting this scholarship I'd let them find out. But for once they're actually proud of me. Can we wait a few weeks before I crush that moment? Please?"

Dean could tell that his brother was pulling another bitch face on the other side of the phone, but there was the agreement that this once he would do this. He'd keep it a secret from the whole family. Dean could go off to his roommate's house and crash for a week.

"Thanks, Sammy. I'll speak to you later." With that, Dean hung up the phone and looked over at Cas. He had finished packing a bag and was now watching Dean intently. Dean threw his phone on the bed and sighed, rubbing his hands into his blonde hair.

"I hate lying to them, you know," Dean admitted, "I've never really wanted to disappoint them, but I struggle to keep my anger under control."

"You've not been that bad lately," Cas offered, "But I do remember your anger last semester." Dean just nodded his head at Cas' comment, but couldn't look him in the eye. He was a jackass last semester, regularly lashing out because of his confusion. He couldn't look Cas' in the eye when he thought about the idea of hurting him. And God did he want to hit the guy at times. But that was the old Dean talking. He was changing; this school was changing him and it was for the better. At least, he thought it was.

The bed moved, as Cas sat on it making it shift with his weight. Dean continued to stare at the floor as he felt Cas' hand on his thigh.

"You're not exactly lying to them."

"No, but I'm not telling them the truth, either," Dean shrugged his shoulders, "Keeping this from them is lying to them. And now I'm getting Sam involved. I always said that I wouldn't let him get in trouble."

"Then tell them the truth."

"And risk the backlash?" Dean was stuck between a rock and a hard place.

"Then forget about it," Cas now suggested, "Think about the next week together."

Dean now looked up into Cas' beautiful blue orbs and smirked, "Hmm, next week together, huh?" he leaned in for a kiss. He could certainly think about that.

* * *

**This has been the part that I was looking forward to writing and I'm looking forward to sharing. Those who want to see Dean and Cas take their relationship further, it is coming very soon. ANyway, before I get to that part, I'd really love to hear your thoughts about this chapter.**


	15. Chapter 15

**So, someone asked me why the boys don't lock their door. You would think they'd have learned that by now, but no...then again, why don't people knock before walking into rooms? That's another great question ;)**

**Thanks for the feedback over the last couple of chapters. I'm almost halfway through this story now, and I can't wait to share the next few chapters with you (along with the rest of the story). I hope you enjoy!**

Chapter 15

The banging on the door was too much. Dean groaned, pulling a pillow over his head, but the banging just wouldn't stop.

"Winchester, you get your ass out here now!" Zach's angry voice sounded from the other side of the door. He'd obviously heard about the suspension. He'd have to as the captain of the team. Coach Harris would have to tell him he was losing his star running back for the next game, "Winchester!"

The football player decided to open the door anyway, pushing it with force so it banged against the bookshelf behind it.

"What the fuck, Winchester!" Zach grabbed the pillow and threw it on the floor, standing over Dean. Dean opened his eyes, rolled them and then sat up. He was going to have to find a way to explain this. He hadn't really thought about what he was going to say. How much had Harris said?

"Newns, fuck off!" Castiel said from his own bed.

"You can shut the fuck up, fag," Zach warned Castiel, before turning his attention back to Dean, "You're suspended? Seriously, what the fuck were you playing at? What the fuck did you do? You know we have a game on Friday, right? You're gonna miss it and if we lose it's gonna be your fault."

"One player doesn't make a team," Dean pointed out, standing up to throw his clothes on, "And it was stupid, okay. I was caught smoking. Happy?"

"Smoking?" Zach shook his head, "You smoke. I've never seen you…" the captain now turned his attention to Castiel and then back at Dean, "What's your fag roommate getting you into, Winchester?"

"Nothing, dude!" Dean lied, shaking his head with a disgusted look—at least, he hoped it was a disgusted look he was pulling off, "I've smoked for a few years. I quit before coming here but took it back up over Christmas. Had a bit of drama with my ex."

"You need to quit that habit," Zach shook his head, "It'll kill ya."

"So will drinking the amount you do," Dean countered, "And your sorry excuse for driving. Look, it's not affected my game, so it's fine. I'm only gonna miss a week and that's it. You're not gonna lose the next game. Let Bart take my place for the night. He's not that bad."

"But he's not you, Dean." Zach admitted with a sigh. Dean grabbed a bag and quickly threw some clothes in it for the week. He even packed some of his school stuff. He'd talk to Cas about helping him with his math so he passed his SATs and got that full-ride. Something good had to come out of this unplanned week of school.

"I know, I'm awesome," Dean grinned, "But you can win next week's game. You'll get to the state championship and I'll be there to carry you to victory."

Dean grinned cockily, making Zach laugh and forget about the anger over the suspension and the smoking, "Just make sure it doesn't happen again, Winchester."

With that Zach walked out of the room and back down the hallway. Castiel now got out of the bed, closing the bedroom door before walking over to Dean.

"You really have an issue with telling people the truth, don't you?" he said, disappointment and hurt clearly in his eyes. Dean got out of his roommate's grasp, throwing a few more items into his bag, "Dean, rumors will start. They'll know we've both been suspended."

"I'll deal with the rumors," Dean shook his head, "Zach'll back me anyway. He has no proof that anything is going on, and that is the way it is going to stay. You said you'd go along with this."

Before Cas could say anything, the door to the room opened again as Speedy and Benny rushed in.

"You're suspended?" they looked directly at Dean.

"Wow, news travels fast," Dean rolled his eyes, "I'm sure you two couldn't wait to rub it in my face."

"Zach was spouting his mouth off stopping a rumor. Someone said you two were caught fucking."

"Ha! The rumors have already started," Dean laughed, watching as Cas pulled on some clothes and grabbed his bags from the top of his desk, "Oh I love this fucking school."

Benny didn't miss Cas grabbing bags too. He looked between the two roommates, "What's going on? Are the rumors true?"

"No." Dean shook his head.

"We were caught in the hut," Cas explained, "We've both been suspended. Newns doesn't know the full truth though."

"I was caught smoking," Dean rolled off the lie as if it was the truth, "Saw Cas coming out of Harris' office. Dunno why he's been suspended."

With a shrug of the shoulders, he looked over to his roommate. He didn't miss the looks between Cas and his two friends. They were clearly annoyed that Dean had a chance to own up to being bisexual or at least being friends with his roommate, and chose not to take it.

"You coming, Cas?" Dean asked, "I'll be down at the car."

Dean left the room with his bags, not waiting around for the conversation between Cas and his two friends. He knew nice words about himself wouldn't be shared.

Getting out of school wasn't the easiest. Dean was stopped on the way by Cain, who had heard from Zach that he was being suspended. Of course, Cain wanted to hear the truth straight from the horse's mouth. Dean was sticking to his story. The one good thing about getting into so much trouble in the past was that he was good a lying. He never forgot a story. That was where people usually slipped up. They'd tell different stories to different people, and then struggle with them. He would always stick to the same tale.

"I heard your fag roommate's been suspended too," Cain couldn't help but get that dig in too, "You were caught fucking."

"Yeah, I heard that rumor not five minutes ago," Dean laughed, throwing his bags into his car, "Nah, I saw him leaving Harris' office. Dunno what he's been suspended for. Haven't spoke to him."

"So, you get suspended for getting caught once?"

"You think this is the first time I've been caught?" Dean laughed, "Well, at least not all news travels around here. Nah, got caught before. Wouldn't have been suspended but that dick Tanner caught me, too. Harris had no choice."

Cain just nodded his head, seeming to buy the story, "When you get back, come find me. Don't tell Zach but I smoke too. I know where you can go without any risk of getting caught."

Dean tilted his head, surprised that the junior smoked, but he wasn't going to question it. He just nodded his head and waved bye before getting in the car. He drove up the driveway from the school and then stopped at the top to wait for his roommate. That way, nobody would see Cas get into the car.

The drive to Castiel's home was pleasant and smooth. They actually had conversations and found out more about each other than ever before. Dean felt comfortable sharing things. It was so much easier now that they were well away from anyone who could give him grief for liking guys.

"So, I ought to warn you that my brother lives with his girlfriend, Anna," Castiel explained, as they came off the highway and headed towards Topeka, "They can be very in your face about their perfect relationship."

"So expect a lot of PDA?" Dean asked with a laugh. He still couldn't get over how Cas lived just a half hour's drive from Lawrence, and he'd never realized. He could have gone to visit Cas over the Christmas break.

"Yes, Dean. A lot."

"Gotcha," Dean nodded, "And do they know about your sexual preferences?"

"They know I'm bisexual, yes," Castiel nodded his head with a sigh, "You are not the first boyfriend I've had. And Anna sort of knows about you."

"Boyfriend? We're putting that label on it, are we?"

"Well, secret boyfriend," Castiel shrugged his shoulders, "Or are we fuck buddies, without the fucking?"

"I'm not sure what we are, Cas," Dean admitted with a sigh, looking out of the corner of his eye to see the frown form on Castiel's soft features. Kicking himself mentally, Dean reached out and grabbed Cas' hand, "I didn't mean that I don't want to be your secret boyfriend. It's just…I'm still dealing with this, okay? This is all very new and you know I'm not ready to tell anyone."

"You told your friend at home."

"I know," Dean nodded, "But that's because I trust her with my life. I trusted her to help me with my head. She's been there for a lot over the years, and I've been there for her. We've been friends longer than I can really remember."

"Did you two ever date?" Cas decided to ask, as Dean smiled at the thought of Jo. Dean laughed at that question and shook his head.

"No. We kissed once and, urgh, it was bad," Dean admitted, "We're just very good friends. She was like the little sister that I never wanted at the time. There's a lot that Jo and I know about each other that nobody else knows. Not even my brothers and sister."

The two fell into a comfortable silence again as they continued the journey. Dean decided to break it, as he thought about things in his head.

"I'm not being a jerk to hurt you intentionally, Cas," he rubbed his thumb over the back of Castiel's hand, "I have a few issues that I have to work through before I even consider telling people I'm with you. And you know football means everything to me. It has to if I want to get into college."

"I know," Cas nodded, "I'm sorry I keep pushing the matter."

"You have every right to keep pushing it," Dean frowned, glancing at him quickly, "You deserve so much better than me. I don't know why you put up with my shit."

Castiel didn't say anything back to Dean, and he wasn't going to push for anything. Instead, they continued the last bit of the journey in silence until they finally pulled up outside the apartment Castiel lived in with Gabriel.

"Gabe won't be home yet," Castiel explained, "Anna might be. I'm not sure what shift she is on at the moment. I don't bother to find out when I'm in school."

"What do they do?" Dean asked, grabbing their bags from the trunk of his car, passing Castiel his. Dean then locked the car and followed Cas into the building.

"Gabe owns a candy store. Anna is a nurse."

Dean continued to follow Cas as they got into the elevator and made their way up to the fourth floor. Once they got out, they were met in the corridor by a young, dark-haired woman.

"Castiel? What are you doing here? I thought you'd be in school now."

"I am supposed to be, Andrea," Castiel nodded with a small smile, "There was a little trouble."

Andrea glanced over at Dean and then back at Castiel, "Oh, sweetie, what did you get up to this time? It has been a while. I thought you'd grown out of the trouble."

"The usual," Cas smiled, deciding to go along with Dean's lie. Dean just watched the whole interaction, feeling nervous Andrea's glances at him now and then. She couldn't have been more than 21, and had a gorgeously curved body, "Is Anna home?"

"No, I saw her leave this morning," Andrea smiled, "I've got to get to work, though. I'll see you later on, Cas?"

"Of course."

Andrea smiled at Dean before rushing down the hallway. She was clearly taking the stairs out of the building rather than the elevator. Dean couldn't help but check out her ass as she left, until he heard a scoffing noise from his roommate.

"What?" Dean asked.

"You. Checking her out!" Cas rolled his eyes and opened up the door to one of the apartments, "She's way out of your league and she has a boyfriend."

"I wasn't checking her out." Dean lied. He certainly was doing that. As he kept pointing out, he was bisexual not gay. There was still something to admire about the female form. But he needed to make it up to Castiel. He needed to stop being a jerk about all this.

Placing his bags on the floor, Dean pulled Castiel towards him; trapping him between him and the door. He grabbed his face with both hands and kissed his roommate deep and hard. It was clear he wanted more, but he was going to let Cas decide if he was allowed it. That didn't mean he wasn't going to encourage the guy to go for more.

Dean rubbed his hips into Castiel's, while moving his mouth to the guy's ear and neck. Nibbling on his ear slightly, he smirked hearing the moan escape from Castiel's mouth. Cas' arms gripped around Dean's neck, before pushing his brown leather jacket off his shoulders and onto the floor. Dean wasn't going to argue with that, and helped Cas out of his own jacket.

Cas pushed Dean back, before grabbing his hand and pulling him through the apartment. Dean wasn't paying much attention to where he was going. He just grabbed Castiel around the waist and pulled him closer. With Cas' back to Dean's chest, he could now feel more with his hands. He went back to his neck with his mouth, while he hands rubbed down Cas' chest and stomach towards his crotch. Dean just couldn't help but palm his roommate's cock, making it twitch.

"Want more, Cas?" Dean asked with a smirk, rubbing Castiel's cock again.

Castiel moaned in pleasure, dropping his head back to Dean's shoulder. The sound of keys in the door made Dean nervous, and he quickly jumped away from Cas. There was a clear look of confusion and disappointment in his friend's eyes, but Dean just couldn't deal with the questions right now. Plus, it wouldn't make the greatest first impression on whoever was walking through the door. It was bad enough they'd been suspended from school.

The door opened, but caught on the jackets that had both been discarded there.

"Shit," Castiel swore, rushing over to the door and grabbing the two jackets. A red-head walked into the door, looking between the two teenagers in shock. She was clearly struggling with the door and the two paper bags in her hands, "Hey, Anna."

"Castiel?" Anna asked with a frown, and then looked over at Dean, "What's going on?"

"Erm, well…"Cas started, but Anna held up her hands and walked towards the small kitchen. She placed the bags on the counter, before turning back to face the two teenagers. She looked at Dean with a frown, before it deepened when she looked at Castiel.

"You've been suspended again," she stated with a sigh, as Cas shut the door, "Cas, I thought you'd told Gabe that you'd been done with trouble. He can't keep dealing with your shit."

"I keep telling him he's only got another year and then I can legally get out of his hair." Cas shrugged his shoulders, and started walking towards his room. Dean stayed on the spot, nervously looking between the two others in the room.

"I didn't mean it like that, Castiel," Anna sighed with a dejected but apologetic tone to her voice, "What happened?"

"It's partially my fault, ma'am," Dean decided to stand up for his friend. He knew what it could be like coming home to a family that expected him to get in trouble. He didn't want Cas to deal with this himself, "I was…"

"Who are you?" Anna now asked.

"This is Dean." Cas told her, without looking at Dean. Anna's brown eyes seemed to widen in shock and recognition.

"Dean? _The _Dean?"

"The one and only, I guess." Dean smirked, nerves clearly in his voice. How did she know about him? Castiel wasn't supposed to have told her his name.

"Anna," Castiel sighed and then looked over at Dean, "Do you wanna come to my room?"

Dean glanced between Castiel and Anna, shifting uncomfortably under her knowing smirk. He needed to know what Cas had said to her. How the hell did she know who he was, and why did she say it in such a knowing way. _The_ Dean? What did that mean?

Castiel grabbed Dean's hand and pulled him towards the bedroom.

"Don't forget your bags!" Anna warned, "And Gabe will be home in a few hours. You might wanna check about your _friend_ staying over."

Castiel and Dean quickly grabbed their bags, and then Dean followed his roommate down the hallway. There it was—that emphasis on a certain word again. This time on 'friend' as if she knew there was more to their relationship already.

Before Dean could ask though, he was pulled into Cas' room. He just couldn't help but look around at all the posters and artwork on the walls. There were bands that Dean had never heard of but some intricate pieces of art. Some of them were darker and more gothic, but they all looked amazing.

"I draw," Castiel sighed, "Well, I used to. I haven't done much for a while but…"

"They're amazing." Dean looked over at one of a green dragon curled around a large rock with a sword sticking out of the top.

"I'm sorry about Anna," Cas sighed, "I said I mentioned you to her during the Christmas break."

"You said you left out my name." Dean slowly nodded.

"She can be annoying and sometimes speaks before she really thinks, but she is also great for advice," Castiel sighed, "Think of her like Jo is for you."

Dean just nodded his head, with a shrug of the shoulders. It wasn't like this girl would get the rumors back to his teammates. He could deal with her knowing about them.

"So, she'll expect a few things to happen in here, then?" Dean closed the gap with a knowing smirk, and pulled his secret boyfriend in for another kiss, "That means I can get back to where we were before." Dean smirked, as he deepened the kiss, feeling Cas go with the flow.

* * *

Bon Jovi played on the stereo quietly in the background. Cas had decided they needed something while they just laid on the bed in their boxers. They'd done everything that Dean was comfortable with, and then just laid there in each other's arms.

Dean was lazily drawing patterns on Castiel's arms, thinking things through. He knew that Cas deserved more. He deserved a better guy that Dean could be to him right now. Cas was too good for Dean, and he knew that was the truth. At no point was Dean comfortable coming out to others. He felt a little uncomfortable that Gabriel and Anna would know there was more to their friendship—just because it meant others would know that he liked guys.

It was stupid, really. They weren't in the 1950s. It wasn't like the whole world was against gays. But Kansas wasn't exactly the most welcoming and open of states. He'd seen that when a couple of his friends said they were gay. And he'd seen the look John Winchester had given his friends when they told him that they were gay. John Winchester was far too traditional and set in his old ways.

The whole thing made Dean nervous. But he had to go with his heart right now. He really had to, otherwise he'd never be happy.

To go along with his heart, he knew he would have to give into his body's desires. His body wanted more than the touching and licking he was getting right now. It wanted to go the full way, but that wasn't something Dean was completely comfortable with. How would it even work? Who would even go on top? Would they take turns? What would it be like?

There were just so many questions running through his head, and he couldn't help but sigh audibly.

"What's wrong, Dean?" Castiel asked, sitting up and looking at his secret boyfriend in the eye. Dean closed his eyes, just as he felt Cas' hand on his cheek, "Dean?"

"I…I was just thinking, that's all." Dean answered, not really daring to look into Castiel's mesmerizing blue eyes.

"About what?"

"Well, erm," Dean shifted uncomfortably and then stood up. He pulled his jeans back on, as he started pacing the floor, "About us. About the next stage for us."

"Sex." Castiel nodded with that knowing look. It was like he could read Dean's mind, seriously! "Dean, we do not need to rush this. I'm happy with it the way it is, right now. Well, I'd be happier if you were honest with others but…I'm happy with us."

"But you won't be forever," Dean pointed out, "You'll want more. I'll want more. I already do, and you can't deny that you do, too."

"Yes, Dean, but you're not comfortable with it."

"That's the problem," Dean sighed, "I'm not comfortable but my body wants it. I just have so many questions, too. I mean who goes on top? Who does what? We're guys, Cas. It's so much easier when it comes to girls."

"Well, would you rather go on top?" Castiel shrugged his shoulder, standing and stopping Dean from pacing. They looked into each other's eyes, "I'd be happy to take the bottom if that is what you prefer. This is your first time, so taking the top would likely make sense. It wouldn't be a complete jump."

Dean frowned, and nodded his head. That did make more sense, "Would you really be happy with that?"

"You're not the first guy I've been with Dean," Castiel explained, "I do have experience with both. The last relationship I was in we took turns. But if you would like to have full control for now, well, I understand."

"For now?" Dean asked. It was as if Castiel expected him to become more comfortable with it all later on.

"Yes, Dean," Cas reached for Dean's hand, "For now. As you become more comfortable we can try it the other way. But only when you're comfortable. How does that sound?"

Dean nodded his head in agreement, but there was a deep frown on his face. He really wasn't sure, but he just had to allow this to happen. Maybe one day he would be comfortable with Cas sticking his dick…Dean shuddered at the thought of it. He couldn't even think about this without it feeling creepy and wrong.

"I'm sorry, Cas." Dean shook his head and grabbed his t-shirt. He rushed out of the room, putting it on. All he needed was to get out of that room and get away from these thoughts. Passing Anna in the living room, he offered a small wave and then walked out of the apartment. He just needed to escape.

* * *

**Sex is definitely coming, but I just couldn't see Dean agreeing to doing it right away. It would be a big step for him, whether he tops or bottoms. I'd love to know what you think about this chapter, though. Please leave some feedback. Thanks!**


	16. Chapter 16

**I'm going to be super busy over the next few days, so instead of making you wait too long for this chapter, I'm posting it now. I really hope you enjoy it. Thanks for the feedback on the last chapter. I know the ending possibly wasn't what you wanted, but I'm sure you'll be excited about this one. Warning! There is a lot of sexual content in this chapter...maybe that gives you a hint of what is to come...**

Chapter 16

Dean had no idea where he was going. He'd been to Topeka a few times, but didn't really know the place. He'd only been for the odd party with a few friends. It was slightly bigger than Lawrence, but with Kansas City so close by too, they often decided to go there instead.

It meant that he was now walking around Topeka without a clue of where to go. And it wasn't exactly warm. He'd left his jacket in Castiel's bedroom. Oh well, the cold would do him some good.

He walked around the block a few times. Each time he got back to the door to the apartment building, he stopped and wondered whether to go back in. No, his head still wasn't clear. So he walked back around again.

The third time, Dean stopped walking and sat on the wall outside the apartment building. Pulling out a packet of cigarettes, he decided to light one up. Maybe it would help calm his nerves. He then pulled out his cell phone to check the time. Smiling when he realized that Jo would be out of work, he dialled her number. Right now, he really needed to talk to her.

"Hey, doofus," Jo said on the other side, angry metal music being turned down as she spoke, "What's up with you?"

"What the hell are you listening to, Joanna?" Dean asked.

"Does it matter, Deano?" she fired back, "What you doing calling me on a Saturday afternoon?"

"I'm in Topeka," he replied quickly, "Got myself suspended."

"What the fuck, Dean? Your folks are gonna kill you!" Jo said, "Wait, why are you in Topeka? Why not at home grounded until the sun explodes?"

"They don't know. You can't tell them. Sammy's looking out for the letter and will get rid of it," Dean explained, "I'm staying at a friend's."

"A friend's?" Jo could hear the question. They didn't have any friends who lived in Topeka, "A friend from school I'm guessing. You get suspended with someone else?"

"You're not stupid, are you, Jo?" Dean asked with a laugh. No, she definitely was. She always read in between the lines, and that's why they got on so well, "Yeah, a friend from school. My roommate, actually."

"Oh. OH!" Jo caught on and Dean could hear the grin on her face, "So, this is why you're calling me. How far have things gone?"

"Well, we…I...Not as far as I've been with girls, Jo. I don't think I can go there," Dean sighed, "I get all creeped out and…"

"Of course you do," Jo laughed at her friend's predicament, but kept talking, "You're coming to terms with this, Dean. When you come to terms with it more, it will all start to feel natural. You'll be comfortable with it. Did you really think it was gonna happen overnight because you are finally accepting who you really are?"

Dean sighed, she had a point. But that didn't make all this easier, "Cas wants more."

"He's a guy. Of course he does," Jo pointed out, "You want more, too, really. That's why this is a problem."

"What do I do, Jo? How can I have sex with him if I feel so creeped out at the idea?"

For once, Jo didn't have an answer for him. All she could do was offer her support—that she was glad he was finding someone that was helping him become the guy that he was. It would be something that would happen with time.

"I'm sorry I can't help you with this, Dean," she finally sighed, "Have you talked to Cas about this?"

"Yes," Dean admitted, "He's happy for us to go as slow as I want, but…well…he's not gonna wait around forever."

"Maybe you should just do it and get it over with," Jo shrugged her shoulders, "Do what I did with my first time. Get completely drunk and rip the Band Aid off."

"It's not the same…"

"Yes it is, Dean," Jo laughed, "Losing your virginity may not be a big deal for a guy, but it is for a girl. For one thing, it fucking hurts. And this is just the same. You have a cherry for him to pop, and it's time that you just go for it. Get some Dutch courage and put the creeped out thoughts to the back of your mind. Just keep thinking about how much you want it. And you're Dean Winchester, of course you want it."

"Thanks, Jo." Dean laughed. He had to admit that it did sort of help. His phone beeped in his ear, telling him another call was coming through. Checking his phone, he noticed it was Cas.

"I gotta go, Jo. I'll speak to you later."

"I'll help Sammy get that letter for ya so your folks don't find out. Bye."

Dean quickly hung up from Jo and then answered Cas' call.

"Dean, where are you?"

"I'm outside, actually," Dean answered, "I was just coming back up."

With a deep breath, Dean hung up the phone and made his way back up to the apartment. He had some apologizing to do.

Cas was far too good for him. Dean had only been back in the apartment less than five minutes and his roommate had forgiven him for being a complete douche. Seriously, either this guy had no self-esteem or he was just way too good. Dean couldn't help but worry that it was the former.

Anna was cooking dinner for them, so the two friends could sit on the couch and watch some TV. It meant Dean got to sit in silence, and just cuddle his secret boyfriend. It felt strange knowing that Anna could see them at first, but the feeling of Castiel's body heat was enough to take his mind from the discomfort. Actually, it ended up feeling good to hang out like this. They couldn't do it much at school. The single beds were too small to spend much time, and it wasn't like they could hang out like this in the common rooms or anywhere outside of their room.

During the TV show that they were watching—Dean wasn't even sure what it was—Cas interlinked his hand with Dean's. Dean couldn't help but swallow hard and look down at the way they rested. This should feel completely wrong. Everything in his head told him that all this cuddling and this lovey-dovey stuff should feel wrong.

But it didn't. It all felt very right. As if this was who he really was. As Jo had said, as he came to terms with it all, it would all feel more comfortable with it all.

The apartment door opened, making Dean jump. Cas quickly sat up and released Dean's hand, but Dean couldn't tell if that was because he wanted to or for Dean's benefit.

"Cassie? You were suspended again?" A guy a few inches shorter than Castiel walked into the room. His light brown hair was smoothed to one side, and he had a bottle of wine in one hand.

"I'm guessing Anna told you." Castiel sighed, standing up to look at his brother properly. Dean shifted on the couch, uncomfortably.

"So, who's this?" Gabe now pointed to Dean, "Were you suspended, too?"

"Yes, sir." Dean nodded his head.

"This is Dean. My roommate."

Gabriel looked at Dean and then glanced over his shoulder at Anna. She could see everything from the kitchen, and simply nodded her head. The two were clearly having a silent conversation, and Dean could guess that it was about him and Cas.

"Yes, this is _the_ Dean, as Anna said," Cas sighed, "Look, I said that he could stay here for the week. He can't go home…"

"Not telling your parents you're suspended, hey?" Gabriel asked, with a smirk playing on his lips. Dean shrugged his shoulders with a frown, but it just made Gabriel laugh more. He looked at Castiel and then nodded, "Okay. Your friend can stay. You'll soon find, Dean, that I'm not a very good parent. Not with Cassie, anyway."

"He really isn't." Anna shook her head with a laugh, as she placed a bowl of salad on a small dining table.

"I just like being the cool older brother," Gabe shrugged his shoulders, "But Cassie is my baby brother and if you hurt him I'll…"

"Kill me. Yeah, his friends are just the same." Dean smirked, but it felt normal hearing it from Gabriel. He should hear it from this guy.

Dinner was easy. Dean was made to feel welcome, and neither Gabriel or Anna pushed for much information. The two and Castiel fell into an easy conversation, but Dean did notice what Cas had meant by a lot of PDA. There was a hell of a lot, all the time. Anna was clearly trying to make Dean feel a little less uncomfortable, but the two were clearly used to having the apartment to themselves for the majority of the year.

"So, we were gonna go to the movies tonight," Gabe told Castiel, "You're welcome to come along—and sit far away from us—but if you want to stay…"

"Do you want to go to the movies?" Castiel asked Dean, but he felt like a deer caught in headlights. What the hell was he supposed to say to that? If he said no, then he would sound like a jackass who didn't want to be seen with his secret boyfriend. But he didn't really want to hang out with said secret boyfriend's brother and girlfriend. That would be awkward.

"Erm, well…" Dean felt like a fish out of water, opening and closing his mouth, trying to find a way to respond.

"I think we will stay here." Castiel turned back to Gabriel, with a soft smile. Gabe and Anna looked between the two teenagers with a smile and a nod.

"Be safe, boys." Gabe winked and then picked up his plate to put in the sink. Anna followed suit, throwing Dean an apologetic look before they went into their bedroom. Dean turned back to face Castiel.

"I'm sorry…"

"No, I understand," Castiel smiled, "I didn't really want to go, either."

Dean felt a little awkward suddenly placing himself into the lives of Castiel's family, so he decided to show just how grateful he was for a meal being cooked for him. Turning on the tap in the kitchen, he filled the sink to do the washing up.

"You don't need to do that," Castiel frowned and then opened up one of the cupboards. It turned out a dishwasher was hidden behind one of them, "We have this."

"Oh." Dean felt uncomfortable again. It was clear that Castiel's family had more money than his own. Mary Winchester had always complained that having a dishwasher meant spending more on the electricity, indicating that they didn't have the money for it.

The two teenagers filled up the dishwasher as Gabe and Anna said their goodbyes. They would be gone for a few hours at least, and Dean knew that this was his chance to test how comfortable he could be with his secret boyfriend. Pulling Cas into a kiss, he made it clear that he wanted to take things to the bedroom. He wasn't ready for sex yet, but he was going to go a step further than he'd been in the pleasure department. He was finally ready to try giving his first blowjob.

The taste of cum wasn't as bad as he expected. Sure, it was salty but it wasn't that disgusting. Dean knew that it was something he could get used to. Something that he'd be willing to get used to if it meant seeing that blissful expression on Castiel's face. He'd seen it before when Dean had given him hand jobs, but there was something different about all this. He knew something inside him was changing more.

"How are you feeling?" Dean asked, laying down next to his secret lover.

"I'm very good, Dean," Castiel smiled, laying a kiss on Dean's lips, "I didn't think you were comfortable doing that?"

"Yeah, well, I did some thinking while outside," Dean shrugged his shoulders, "If I wanna be with you, then I need to start getting over my own aversions."

Castiel climbed on top of Dean, so they were face to face, "Don't do something that you don't want to do, Dean. I'm not going to rush you in this."

"But you still want me to tell others," Dean couldn't help hear the hypocrisy in the words. Castiel frowned and climbed off Dean, pulling his own clothes on, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it…"

"You did, and you're right," Cas nodded, "If you can't have sex with me because you think it's too perverted, why should I expect you to tell anyone that you're making out with me."

"Hey! I don't think it's perverted!" Dean sat up on the bed, "I just…I'm not comfortable doing it. I can imagine it but I don't feel comfortable right now. I don't like the idea of your dick up my ass."

"Then put yours up mine!" Cas shouted at him, surprising Dean, "I've already said you can."

"And eventually you'll wanna do it the other way," Dean sighed, "I just can't do that right now. I don't know if I'll ever be able to."

"Fine," Cas shrugged his shoulders, "I really don't care if you decide that you always want me to bottom. That's fine by me. I just want to be with you, Dean. I want to go all the way with you and I know you do want it too. You're scared, and I get that. But I want you. I love you!"

"What?" Dean's eyes grew wide at the admission. He swallowed hard, just as Castiel realized what he'd said. The older boy rushed out of the room, but Dean wasn't going to let him go that easily. He followed him through the apartment and to the front door. Dean was quicker, and stepped in front of the door before Castiel could get out of it.

"Dean, don't."

"You what?" Dean asked again, looking into Cas' eyes, "You love me?"

"Don't start, okay?" Cas sighed, "I shouldn't have said it."

"How the fuck could you love me, Cas?"

"See, here we go. You're gonna start taking the piss now."

"No, I'm really not," Dean shook his head, "I don't take the piss about something like that. How the fuck could you love me. One, we've only been together for a few months. Two, we've been together in secret. And three, I'm a jackass. You shouldn't love me."

"Maybe I shouldn't, but I do," Cas shouted back, "And I know that I shouldn't have said anything to you, but that's why I can't quite just let you go. That's why I'm letting you be with me when you can't even tell the world that you're bi. I…I love you, Dean Winchester."

Dean was taken aback by everything that Castiel said. He couldn't say it back—because he didn't really know how he felt about Castiel—but he couldn't just let the guy walk out right now. He needed to do something, so he did the one thing that he could think of. He kissed him; and kissed him hard.

Dean's hand went up to Castiel's messy, black hair, pulling his head backwards slightly so he could move his lips to the newly exposed area.

"Dean…" Castiel try to stop him, but Dean wasn't going to let him. The guy had just declared his love for him. He was going to at least show him that he wasn't the complete jackass that he kept telling himself he was. Capturing Cas' mouth with his own again, Dean let his hands trail down to the hem of his t-shirt. Pulling it up, Dean discarded Cas' t-shirt on the floor and moved him back towards the bedroom.

They got to the bedroom door, and Dean pushed Cas up against the door. Trapping him, and rubbing his growing erection against Cas' leg. God, he'd love to do something to him right now.

Maybe he could. Maybe Jo was right. He just needed to get over this and just delve right in. He'd done a blowjob now and it was good. It wasn't as weird or scary as he thought it would be. Moving his lips to Cas' ear, he bit on the lobe gently, making Cas moan again.

"Do you have any lube or anything?" Dean now asked in a seductive whisper. Castiel didn't answer, so Dean stepped back to look into his eyes. There was confusion in those gorgeous ocean orbs, "I'm being serious. Do you have any or do I quickly need to go out?"

"I have some." Castiel nodded, without asking why. It was pretty clear what Dean wanted.

"Good." Dean nodded, and then opened the bedroom door while unfastening Castiel's jeans. Cas was pushed onto the bed, making it easier for Dean to strip him of his clothes. He then stepped out of his own clothes and ran his hands through his hair. This was it. This was his chance. There was no backing out now.

"Dean, we don't…" Cas started, but Dean cut him off with a kiss. He lifted him up on the bed so they were both laying on it comfortably.

"Get the lube," Dean instructed, and expected his roommate to follow his orders right away. There was a delay, and Dean rubbed their erections together, "Get it."

It felt a little weird being up against another dick without clothes, but it was a good weird. It was a hot weird. Why hadn't he done this when they were getting up to all the other bedroom stuff? Castiel's body shifted as he grabbed the lube, giving Dean the perfect chance to kiss along Castiel's abs and hip bone. Then his lips trailed down his thighs, as Castiel laid back on the bed—bottle of lube in hand.

"Dean…" Cas moaned, but Dean just took the lube and placed some on his fingers.

"If I start to hurt, just tell me and I'll stop," Dean told him, "I really don't know what I'm doing but I'm going to take a guess it's a bit like anal with a girl."

_Thank God for Lisa wanting to do anal,_ Dean thought to himself. She'd wanted to see what all the fuss was about. Dean was a little creeped out by that at first, but she really wanted it and God it was good. He should have guessed then that he was bisexual. He drew the line when she said she wanted to put things up his ass, though. That was just too much.

Dean enveloped Cas' dick in his mouth, while placing his index finger into his ass. Castiel moaned, gripping the sheets gently. Dean wasn't sure if it was pain or pleasure, so he just kept his finger still for a moment.

"Dean, more." Castiel moaned, so Dean started to move his finger in and out while continually sucking at his cock. Cas bent one of his legs, lifting it up to give Dean more access, making it clear that he wanted another finger in there. Dean obliged, smirking inwardly when Castiel's moans got louder.

Dean's tongue ran over Castiel's slit, as he started scissoring him open. It was time to get him ready for something a larger. Cas' hand had now moved to Dean's hair, encouraging him to stay there a little longer than he was going to do. As he moaned out loud again, Dean pulled his fingers out and then released his cock from his mouth.

It was time to just go with it. It wasn't wrong. It wasn't weird. This was right. He had to keep believing that.

Smothering lube on his cock, Dean positioned himself ready to push in, "Are you ready?"

"Yeah, Dean," Castiel nodded, lifting both his legs up to around Dean's waist. That was all the encouragement Dean needed to push deep into Cas, "Oh, Dean!"

The tightness of Cas' ass made Dean stop for a moment. He couldn't think straight for a few seconds from the pleasure that passed through his body. This felt better than he had imagined.

"Dean, please." Cas moaned, snapping Dean out of his thoughts. He pulled his cock out until just the tip was inside and then pushed himself back in hard. Castiel moaned in pleasure, gripping Dean with his legs to encourage him to keep going. And that's just what Dean did.

He couldn't believe how amazing this felt. He pushed in and pulled out time and time again, getting harder and faster each time. Castiel was writhing underneath him, clawing at his arms and back. And all Dean could do was lean down and suck at his neck or nibble at his ear. God, it felt so good to be like this. He couldn't imagine anything feeling better.

The pleasure was building. Dean could feel it in the pit of his stomach. He wasn't really that sure how much longer he'd be able to hold off, so he shifted his position slightly to take the weight off one hand. While constantly moving in and out, he gripped Castiel's cock with his right hand and started jacking him off. Castiel's back arched at the extra pleasure.

"Oh God." Cas moaned.

"Call me Dean." He chuckled in a seductive whisper in his ear. Any louder and his voice would have given away just how close he was.

"I'm gonna come." Castiel warned him and within seconds he was blasting everywhere. Dean moaned at the sight and feeling Cas' muscles contract around him. With two more pumps, he filled his seed inside his boyfriend, groaning out loud. Once he finished, he collapsed onto Cas' body, not caring about the mess between them. It didn't seem as creepy as he once thought it would.

The two teenagers laid together as they caught their breaths back, Dean peppering kisses along Cas' neck.

"Mmm, are you wanting round two or something?" Cas moaned, and Dean couldn't help but chuckle.

"No, I don't think I'd be able to go for round two," Dean admitted and then rolled off Castiel, looking at him, "That was good, right?"

"Yes, Dean, that was amazing." Castiel nodded his head.

"Good," Dean smiled, "Because it was awesome for me."

"So, the first night of being suspended and this happens," Cas smirked, "What have I got to look forward to for the rest of the week?"

Dean chuckled and pulled Castiel to lay on his chest. They remained like that for a few minutes, while Dean pondered what they would do for the rest of the week. The downside of being just 30 minutes from Lawrence was a bit of an issue. His family might see him especially his extended family. But they couldn't stay cooped up in the house. They would need to find something to do over the next week.

"You know I don't expect you to say it back," Castiel now broke the silence, making Dean frown, "I guess you just needed to know that I love you although I didn't want you finding out like that. That's why I'm so patient with you and I want to help you through this. I get that you're confused and love isn't something you'll wanna talk about right now."

"Cas..." Dean sighed, closing his eyes at the knowledge that he was hurting the guy by not saying it. But Cas was right. He was confused right now, and love really wasn't something he wanted to talk about.

"It's okay, Dean. I understand." Cas looked up and smiled softly, offering no hint in his perfect blue orbs that he was lying. Dean just nodded his head, and allowed Cas to lay his head back on Dean's chest.

* * *

**Yay! Finally right? I'd love to know what you think about it. It all seems to be falling into place for them, doesn't it?  
**


	17. Chapter 17

**Thank you for the feedback on the last chapter. I'm really glad that the scene that you've all been waiting for was taking so positively. I'm supposed to be working, but I'm going to get chapters of a few of my stories up while I take a break.**

Chapter 17

"Cassie, I just don't want to see you hurt." Dean could hear Gabriel's voice from where he stood in the hallway. When he'd woken up that first morning, he'd been alone in the bed. Cas had obviously already gotten up and Dean could hear the two brothers talking in the living room/kitchen.

He'd realized that Castiel had mentioned something to Gabriel and Anna the way they kept referring to him as _the_ Dean. He just didn't know how much, and now was his chance to find out.

"I'm a big boy, Gabriel," Castiel sighed, and Dean could just imagine the frown forming on his soft features, "And will you please stop calling me Cassie? I'm not 8 anymore and I'm not a girl. Or would you like me to call you Gaby?"

Dean had to stifle a laugh as he heard the discussion between the two brothers. Castiel had barely spoken about his family, but it seemed like the two were close. Dean had wondered what it would be like being raised by an older brother after losing his parents; or even what it would have been like having to raise his brothers and sister. It just wasn't something he could comprehend, but it would have certainly changed his relationship with them.

"You said the guy was struggling to come out to his friends, Castiel," Anna now sighed. So she was still in the apartment, too, "We don't want to see you being his dirty little secret. It's not fun. I speak from experience."

"I can't expect him to just come out to everyone," Cas sighed, "The guys in school..."

"The ones who bully you, right."

"They don't bully me. They're just jerks," he paused for a bit before continuing, "They wouldn't let Dean stay on the football team if he came out and he needs football."

"Any guy who chooses sport over my baby brother..." Gabriel started, but Castiel quickly cut him off. This was more than just a sport. He was defending his choice for focusing on a future. And it seemed to do just the trick. The two who were originally against Dean just accepted that they would stand by the 18-year-old.

That was the end of that. Movement around the other room told Dean that there was nothing else to listen in on. He shut the bedroom door to make it clear that he was coming out, and walked into the room with a smile on his face.

"Morning." It would be best to pretend he didn't hear any of that, but couldn't help forget about Gabe's argument over choosing sport over his brother. Sure, football was his way into college, but Gabriel had a point. The question for Dean was whether he would be comfortable enough dealing with Zach and the others.

"Morning, Dean," Anna smiled from the kitchen over the breakfast bar, "I'm making pancakes. Would you like any?"

"Oh pancakes sound great, Anna. Thanks," Dean nodded, "Is there anything I can help with?"

"No, no," Anna smiled gratefully for the offer, "The coffee is made. So just pour yourself some and take a seat. I've got this."

"Anna is amazing in the kitchen," Gabriel grinned with a smile, "And she's used to making breakfast for more people. We used to have parties all the time when we were in college and Anna was the Hangover Queen."

Dean chuckled at the name, and the blush that formed on Anna's cheeks, "How long have you been together, then?"

"Well, we've been together together for six years, right honey?" Gabriel glanced over to check with his girlfriend. When she nodded, he continued, "We've been friends for years, though. Went to college together, had the same circle of friends. One night, one thing led to another and we ended up in a relationship."

"That's the story Gabe likes to tell." Castiel explained to his boyfriend, and then looked over at Gabriel with a smirk. The elder brother just rolled his eyes, ignoring the comment but Dean could see from Cas that there was certainly more to the story. Anna just smirked from where she cooked breakfast, and Dean couldn't help but smile. The two really did seem perfect for each other. Could Dean have something like that with Castiel?

"So, what do you two have planned today?"

"Not sure yet," Cas sighed, "It's not like we can really go far. Dean's family lives in Lawrence."

"And they don't know about the suspension, right?" Gabriel asked, chuckling when the two teenagers nodded their heads.

"So, you're not pissed at the suspension?" Dean now asked, looking between the two 28-year-olds.

"Oh hell no!" Gabe laughed, "Cassie—sorry, Castiel—loves to get in trouble. He takes after me. Nah, I'm an older brother not a dad. It's always been that way, hasn't it?"

Castiel just nodded his head, and Dean smiled again. There was so much more about Castiel that Dean wanted to learn more about. So much more!

* * *

The week was flying by quickly. It was Thursday night and they had one more full day before they were going back to school. As much as Dean hated missing out on tomorrow night's football game, right now he didn't want to go back. He was enjoying his time with Cas far too much. Being away from the dicks and the taunts was making his life so much easier. He felt safe being with Cas, and they spoke about things that he never thought they would do. He hadn't told Cas everything about his past or his life, but enough—and vice versa—so they got to know each other more.

Their relationship was more than physical, although he certainly wasn't complaining about the physical part. Dean had felt like he could connect with someone. It was completely different to his relationships in the past. The relationship—if he could call it that—to Cassie was purely about sex. With Lisa, there'd been some emotion to it but it was mainly a physical one. There were a few previous girls that he'd been with more than once, but again it was all about the sex. He didn't open up to them.

There were two people in his life he opened up to, Sam and Jo. They were family to him, maybe not both by blood but they were still family. He never thought he'd find someone else to talk to about things, and then here was Castiel.

"What's it going to be like when we get back to school?"

Dean sighed, hearing the question. Cas just had to bring it up right now. They'd had a great night in bed, and now he was bringing up the question about their relationship in the school. _Great, _Dean thought to himself. It was something he'd been putting off.

"Dean?" Castiel looked up at him when he didn't answer. Dean sighed again and shook his head.

"I don't know, Cas," he replied honestly, "I'd like to keep doing this and getting to know you, but I can't...you know I can't..."

"I know. Sorry, I didn't mean that," Cas explained, "I just meant that will we continue this? I've enjoyed getting to know more about you this week. I want to know even more."

Dean smiled and nodded his head, "I've enjoyed it too, Cas. Sure, we'll keep talking like this. You know once we're in college, things will be different."

Cas frowned, making Dean tilt his head to one side. Maybe he shouldn't have brought that up, "What is it?"

"We won't be going to the same college, Dean," Castiel sighed, "I already have an acceptance from Kansas. I'm waiting to hear from Stanford."

"Stanford?" Dean asked with raised eyebrows, "I didn't know you'd applied there."

"There's still a lot you don't know about me," Castiel pointed out, "That's where I'd prefer to go."

"Well, Stanford isn't that far away from San Francisco," Dean pointed out, "We could make it work, right?"

"Would you want to?" Cas asked, now it was his turn to tilt his head to one side. A small smile played on Dean's features, as he nodded his head. This was something he'd want to try and work on when they went to college. Unlike the thing with Lisa, he believed this could withstand the distance. There was more to this relationship.

"I do," Dean nodded, "And I'd gladly take you out and show off my boyfriend to the world."

Castiel smiled and nodded his head slowly, as if trying to take it all in. Dean's smile just grew as he kissed his boyfriend and pulled him close so they could sleep, "And once we get to college it will all be different. I promise."

* * *

Since it was the last day of suspension, the boys decided to risk it and went to Kansas City for some fun. Dean knew that he could run into people he knew, but he just didn't care. Besides, it was a Friday and he was sure he'd be able to work an excuse if he needed to.

He'd had fun walking around Topeka and local areas, going out for meals, so he wanted to do it on the last day. They both knew that things would be kept in the room one they got back. They would have to pretend to just be roommates. So, Dean was going to make the most of it right now.

"That movie was awesome," Dean grinned as they walked out of the movie theaters. Castiel just looked at him with raised eyebrows, "Oh, c'mon. You're telling me you didn't like all that action?"

"The action was okay," Cas shrugged his shoulders, "There could have been a better storyline, though. You're telling me it wasn't predictable?"

"Well, yeah, but that's the point of movies like that." Dean laughed, kissing his boyfriend in front of a few passers-by. Cas was clearly caught off-guard at the public display of affection. It certainly wasn't something he ever expected Dean to do, and Dean should have known that. Not when people were walking by. Sure, they'd held hands when eating out and made out in the movie theaters over the week, but Dean hadn't done anything like this.

"Winchester?" A boy's voice caused Dean to quickly jump apart from his boyfriend. He knew that voice anywhere. Of all the people he had to run into, it had to be Michael fucking Jennings, "What the fuck? Should have known you were a fag!"

Dean clenched his jaw and looked over at the tall, dark-hair boy walked towards him. His piercing brown eyes glared down at the two teenagers. It was then that Dean saw a small scar on the guy's cheek, "Yeah, well this fag managed to give you that scar. Want another one for the other side? I'll even it up just right for ya."

"You wouldn't dare, Winchester," Michael sneered, "You know, my folks shoulda pressed charges. I told 'em to and everything."

"Yeah, well, looks like they knew you deserved a good beating, Jennings," Dean shrugged his shoulders, "Shame your folks never did it for me. But that's not to say I didn't enjoy it."

The boy's nostrils flared and he shoved Dean backwards into the wall. People passing by stopped, as Castiel tried to get the boy off Dean. Michael lashed backwards, hitting Castiel across the face.

"Hey!" Dean's green eyes were full of fire seeing that, and he swung his right arm without even thinking. It connected with the guy's jaw, and was quickly followed by his left fist, doing the same to the other side. Michael staggered backwards, blood dripping from his mouth as Dean punched again. He wasn't going to let up, not a chance in hell.

Michael tried to fight back, but Dean caught his right arm and then swung him around, forcing him into the wall he'd just been up again. There was a thud as the dark-haired boy hit the wall hard. Dean managed to twist Michael's right arm up behind his back, threatening to break it.

"Don't you ever lay a hand on him. Got it." Dean warned. Michael didn't answer, he just groaned in pain, "I said got it, Jennings!"

"Got it." Michael screamed out as Dean pulled his arm up further.

"Dean." Castiel sighed, pulling at Dean's shoulders. Dean looked at Castiel, seeing the blood dripping from his nose.

"Holy shit, Cas!" Dean's eyes widened, and then he looked back at Michael, "I should kill you."

"He's not worth it, Dean." Castiel pulled his boyfriend away. There were too many people crowding around now, and Dean could hear that someone had called the police. He needed to get him and Cas out of here now.

Dean really wanted to stay and beat the crap out of this guy, though. He'd hurt Cas and nobody got to do that. The sound of sirens caught his attention.

"Dean!" Cas pulled at Dean, making it clear that they had to go now. Dean pushed Michael into the wall and then let go. The guy was lucky to get off with no broken bones.

Dean didn't think twice. He and Cas ran down the street back to him Impala. They would need to get back to Cas' to sort out his broken nose.

"Okay, let me see what I've got." Dean opened the glove box as the two boys sat in the car. He sighed, going through the paperwork and finally coming across a few napkins he'd stashed in there one night he'd gotten takeout. He thought he'd remembered Jo telling him to keep them there just in case, since they often liked to go for drives at stupid times in the morning and stop off for food.

Dean handed Cas the napkins, so he could stop the bleeding himself.

"He could press charges, you know." Castiel now said, pushing the napkins up against his nose, pinching the bridge with his thumb and index finger.

"And he can," Dean shrugged his shoulders, "You know the second time I was expelled, I ended up in juvy for a bit. So, it wouldn't be the first time."

"You're 18 now." Castiel pointed out, and Dean couldn't help but frown. Yeah, there was that. It would mean a more serious crime, but he couldn't think about that. He preoccupied his time by helping to slow down the bleeding from Cas' nose. The anger inside him was finally dying down.

"I couldn't help myself," he finally said, "When he hit you, I...I just felt that need to protect you."

"You know it was kinda my fault for trying to get him off you," Cas pointed out, and suddenly anger flashed in Dean's green eyes again. He was not going to hear those words come out of his mouth.

"Don't you ever say that, Cas," Dean shook his head, "Someone hitting you is never your fault. It's never an excuse. Please do not tell me you've ever thought that in the past."

"Well, no, but I was just...I...that really hit a nerve with you, didn't it?" Cas frowned, taking the napkins from Dean. The younger boy instantly shifted and ran his hand through his hair, "Your dad, he..."

"What? No!" Dean shook his head, "No, my dad is awesome, Cas. The only hand he has laid on me was when I really did ask for it. He used to teach me how to box. He was a marine and taught me some fighting skills. When I started getting myself in trouble because of them, he stopped. No, my dad is awesome."

"So, what is it then? Jo?" Cas was digging for the truth, and Dean knew that he wasn't going to give up on this line of questioning. But Dean wasn't sure if he could talk to him about this. He couldn't revisit that part of his past. He always promised he never would.

Shaking his head, Dean turned to face the steering wheel and started the car.

"Dean." Castiel asked, but Dean ignored him and drove off to get back to Castiel's home. The 18-year-old knew when to stop pushing though, and the whole journey was in silence. It was the first awkward silence they'd had for a while, and Dean knew that part of it was his own fault. But he always promised himself that he would not think of the events from 14 years ago. He couldn't revisit them for his own sanity.

Once they got back, Dean turned off the ignition but neither of them left the car.

"I'm sorry if I pushed a few buttons, Dean," Cas sighed, "I just...there's so much I don't know about you and clearly you're hurting. I just want to help."

"It wasn't Jo," Dean shook his head, closing his eyes tight. He needed to so the tears didn't escape. He could already feel the lump forming in his throat, "It's not something I'm comfortable talking about. I don't even like thinking about it. But just please never tell me someone hit you and it was your fault. It's never your fault."

He finally opened his eyes and saw the sorrow and concern in his boyfriend's beautiful blue eyes. Then the dried blood around the bottom of his nose reminded him of everything.

"We better put some ice on that. Don't want the swelling and bruising getting too bad, huh?"

And that was the end of that conversation. At least, it was the end for now. Dean knew that it would come up again in the future, but for now it could stay like that.

"Oh my God, Cassie!" Anna shrieked as they both walked through the door. Trust the nurse to see the bloody nose right away. Gabe looked up from the couch when he heard his girlfriend shriek, and instantly rushed to his brother with concern and worry.

"What happened?"

"A fight." Cas explained simply, as if it was clearly obvious. Gabriel glared at Dean, who held his hands up in defense.

"Dean didn't do it." Cas sighed, as Anna checked out the damage and then rushed to the freezer for some ice. She administered the first aid as Gabriel looked at Dean for answers.

"We ran into a dick from my old school and fists started flying," Dean explained, "Cas was trying to pull the guy off me and ended up with that. Don't worry, I got my own back. I'd never hurt Cas."

Gabriel frowned—likely concerned for his brother—but accepted Dean's explanation. The 18-year-old wasn't really that bothered if he didn't. It was the truth. And that's what really counted.

"He'll be okay, Gabe," Anna sighed, "It's just a bloody nose. Doesn't look like anything is broken."

"It wasn't really a punch," Castiel now said, "Can we drop it? Dean didn't do this and it wasn't his fault."

Dean and Castiel locked eyes, as Dean made it clear that he didn't want to hear anything about it being Cas' fault. Luckily, Gabriel cut in before they could say anything else. Now that his little brother was going to be okay, he declared it was time to eat dinner.

While Cas went to change and wash the blood off his face, Dean pulled out his cell phone to send a quick text to his brother and best friend. They needed to know about the incident in Kansas City before Michael started spouting his mouth off. The last thing he needed was for any of the day getting back to his parents.

_I'll turn them into "lies"_

Jo text him back, putting a smile on Dean's face. He knew she'd be the one to cover for him, especially when it came to that dick. She hated him just as much as Dean did.

* * *

**Things can never be easy, huh...Some of the issues that Dean is working through will come up later but for now I'll let you speculate ;) I'd love to hear what you think of the chapter and the direction the story is going. Please R&amp;R  
**


	18. Chapter 18

**It's Friday! For me, it means working from home but it does also mean I get some time to myself with the little one at nursery. So, it means I get the chance to update again. I'm going to do this story and the On the Path story now and will update Supernaturally Charmed a wee bit later on when I have a little more time. Right now, I don't have long before I have to get the little one to nursery.**

**Thank you so much for the reviews on the last chapter. It's great to hear what you think and I've tried replying to you personally. Now's the time to move on with the story and it's time for the boys to go back to school.**

Chapter 18

"Hey, Cas!" Speedy grinned, walking into the bedroom, following his friend. Dean glanced from where he stood at his bed, unpacking his things. He'd dropped Cas off at the top of the school driveway, where he'd picked him up, so they weren't seen coming back again. Dean hadn't really wanted to, but Cas knew that it was for the best. At least, Dean really hoped that Cas knew and understood that it was for the best. Speedy hadn't been to impressed that Dean had let him walk down the driveway, though.

"It's good to have you back, brother," Benny now spoke, walking into the room and closing the door, "You too, Dean."

"Thanks." Dean nodded his head and went back to unpacking.

"What the hell happened to your face, though?" Speedy now asked, looking at Cas. Dean knew that questions would come up about yesterday's fight. The bruising under Cas' eye and around his nose had really shown up. There was also a cut on his nose where Michael's hand and caught with Cas' face.

"It was just a little fight," Cas shook his head, "You should see the other guy."

Speedy and Benny frowned and then looked at Dean, "Hey, it wasn't me!"

"Sorry, it's just you said that you got into fights back home."

"Dean defended my honor." Castiel laughed, trying to make a joke out of it, but Dean frowned at it. This wasn't a subject that he found funny. Benny seemed to catch on that there was more to the story, but decided to move on from the topic.

"So, Teapot and Garth are in detention," Benny explained, as he sat on Cas' desk, feet on the chair, "I think I saw a couple of the guys going down to the hut. Tommy has gone to get alcohol for the welcome back party."

"Welcome back party?" Cas asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Yeah, figured you both might want to come," Speedy shrugged his shoulders, "You know, after spending the week together." Speedy winked at Dean, making him frown. What the hell was that supposed to mean. Did Speedy really think they could forget everything that happened a week ago or think that Dean could really come out of the closet?

"I've gotta find Zach. Let him know I'm back." Dean shook his head and walked out of the room. He hung out in the corridor for a few minutes, listening to the conversation Cas would have with his friends.

"So, you two didn't..."

"Things were good," Cas told his two friends, "But this is the way it is here. Dean has his friends and I have mine."

"He's a jerk around those guys, brother." Benny pointed out.

"He's a jerk full stop." Speedy said, making Dean roll his eyes. Yeah, he was a jerk and that was just the way it had to be right now, "Now would be the perfect time for him to tell them."

"What do you mean?"

"A rumor went around about you two," Benny explained, "They say you were caught fucking. Don't know if the others believe it but...well..."

Dean groaned inwardly. He would have to stop that rumor if he wanted to stay on the football team.

"Come in." Zach shouted just after Dean knocked on his bedroom door. Dean sighed and then opened it, wondering what he was going to be faced with. Were the team going to kick him off for the rumors? "Dean. You're back."

"Yeah, got back about 10 minutes ago," Dean nodded, "Already heard the rumors, man."

"Yeah?" Zach laughed, "We know they're not true. But think you better distance yourself from that roommate of yours. I wouldn't be surprised if he was the one that started the rumors just before he left."

Dean just nodded his head, and sat on the team captain's desk chair. He didn't want to say anything, but he was really getting fed up of the broken record. Cas hadn't even been in school for a week, and Zach was already going on about him for something.

"So, we won last night."

"Yeah, got your text," Dean nodded, "I was dealing with a dick from my old school so couldn't text back." Dean decided to tell the story about running into Michael, with a few changes to the story. Zach just laughed, hearing how the guy was getting pummelled into a wall until the cops were on their way.

"You need to watch yourself," Zach then pointed out, "Can't have you getting arrested."

Dean laughed and nodded his head, "So, training for the next game."

"Yeah, we're training at four," Zach agreed, "Two hour training. You up for it?"

"Well, I'm playing on Friday, right?"

"Of course," Zach nodded, "It wasn't exactly easy without you the field. Need our star running back."

"Then I'll be there for training," Dean laughed, "Look, I need to see the principal and talk to coach. I'll see you later, okay?"

"Yeah, watch out for the fags."

Dean just rolled his eyes as he left Zach's room. The guy was pissing him off a lot more than he really wanted him to. What had changed over suspension to make his skin crawl this much? Castiel had really done a number on him.

Before he could get to the principal's office, he ran into Cain and Ezekiel. Of course, it was more of the same with the two of them until Ezekiel looked at his watch and realized he had some things to do. Cain convinced Dean to walk with him to the secret spot for smoking in peace.

They walked for about five minutes and Dean was sure they were going to end up off the school grounds. It turned out that Cain wasn't even sure if they were still on the grounds. He wasn't sure where the boundary of the school and the private land next to it was.

"Maybe that's why I've never been caught." Cain shrugged his shoulders with a smirk. _Maybe it was_, Dean couldn't help but think to himself, lighting up the cigarette he took from Cain.

They sat just talking about the suspension and the game the night before at first. Dean had finished his cigarette and was wincing at a story about a mistake the other team's cheerleaders made, leading to a collapse of the pyramid. Apparently it ended up with one of the poor girls getting her arm broke and another one was concussed. He wouldn't have liked to be at the top of the pyramid. He always did have respect for Lisa for getting up to the top when he was at his old school.

"So, there's a rumor going round..." Cain decided to change the subject.

"Yeah, I've already heard," Dean sighed. Of course the team was going to want to know. He just stuck to the same story he'd told Zach and the one that he was going to tell anyone else who asked, "I didn't even know Castiel had been suspended. Didn't see him before I left."

"Oh," Cain nodded, "So you're not gay, then?"

"No, man. I'm not gay." Dean answered honestly. He wasn't gay. He still liked girls, but he was interested in Cas right now.

"Oh." Cain seemed to look dejected, making Dean frown. He wanted to know more, but then Cain leaned forward to try and kiss him. Dean shuffled backwards, holding his hands out to connect to Cain's shoulders. This was not something he needed right now.

"What the fuck, man?"

"Shit," Cain sighed, rubbing the back of his neck and then standing up, "I'm sorry. I...well..." Cain rushed off, leaving Dean to go through everything that just happened. With a sigh, he pulled out his cell phone and dialled the only person who could help right now.

"Hey, Jo," Dean sighed when she answered, "I need some fucking advice. I'm going crazy here."

* * *

The talk with Jo hadn't really helped. She couldn't help with this right now, and he could hear shouting in the background. Rufus was complaining about her being on the phone again. Apparently Jo's phone bill last month had been way too much. It didn't help that Dean and Jo now had to talk and text so much since he was stuck in boarding school, but Rufus wasn't accepting that as a good enough reason.

Maybe if he knew that Dean was going through so many changes it would help, but he couldn't let him find out. If Rufus found out then John and Mary would find out. And Dean couldn't have his parents finding out yet.

No, Rufus couldn't find out and that would mean Jo would have to deal with his shouting. God, Dean wished he could be there to stand up for her. But Jo was adamant that she could take care of herself on this one.

But it did mean that she couldn't help him with his current predicament. His football teammate had just tried to kiss him. Cain—the boy who had spent the last semester and a month calling Castiel a fag—had just tried to kiss him. Where in the world did that make sense? Dean couldn't quite get his head around it.

He thought about talking to Zach, but that wouldn't work. Cain would get booted from the team, and there was no way that Dean was going to see that happened. No, he'd keep Cain's secret from the team. Then there was Castiel. Maybe Dean could talk to him, but no. Cas would suggest that the two of them came out to the team. Dean couldn't do that.

Luckily, the walk back from this new secret smoking spot was perfect for thinking. By the time he got back to the school, Dean decided that he would keep it a secret. He'd see how Cain acted later, and then go along with that. It would be really useful if Cain ignored the fact that it had happened.

Checking his watch, he realized that he was gonna need to get to the principal's office. He was supposed to go there as soon as he got back and everything happening in his personal life had just taken over. Wondering whether Cas had called in yet, Dean walked to his room. Cas was still there catching up with his friends.

"Hey, where you been?" Cas asked with a smile.

"Erm, just for a walk," Dean shook his head, deciding that he wasn't going to go into the details or tell him about this new secret spot. It would be useful for when he needed to clear his head from everything, "You been to see the principal yet?"

"Nope. Wanna go now?" Cas asked, making it clear that he was up for the school seeing them together.

"Yeah, meet you there?" Dean didn't miss Castiel frown as he left the room. That would give Benny and Speedy more to hate him for.

It was clear that Castiel could tell there was something wrong with Dean. Once they were finished talking to the principal, Castiel pulled Dean to one side to find out what had happened. It was clear that Dean was thinking about something, and seemed to be pulling away from Cas even when they were alone.

Dean had to be honest. He was pulling away but it wasn't for the reasons Cas would be thinking. The whole situation with Cain was still playing on his mind. He needed to know what was going on with his teammate. As much as he wanted to just forget it happened, he needed to know what Cain wanted to do after all this.

"You can talk to me, Dean." Cas sighed, when Dean said that he'd catch up with him later.

"Yeah," Dean nodded, "I know."

With that, Dean walked off to get changed. It was time for football practice anyway.

"Thought you weren't gonna make it, Winchester." One of the junior receivers joked, checking his watch.

"Hallings kept me longer than I expected." Dean shrugged his shoulder, looking discreetly for Cain. He couldn't see his teammate anywhere, but he also didn't spot Zach or Ezekiel.

"Where's Zach?" Dean asked, as the team gathered around in a circle.

"Right behind you, Dean," Zach's voice almost made Dean jump. He wasn't expecting someone to sneak up on him. As Dean turned, he saw Ezekiel and Cain standing behind him, with smirks on their faces, "Ready to get training? Sure you've missed us this week."

There seemed to be something in Zach's voice that indicated Dean had missed more than training. It made him feel uneasy about getting into training. Had they found out the truth? Did they know that he and his roommate were secretly having sex; well were secretly dating.

Throughout training, Dean kept looking out for anything that told him the team was against him; that they'd found out. There didn't seem to be any signs, but Dean still felt uneasy. There was just something in the smirks that Zach was giving him every now and then, same with Cain and Ezekiel. Had Cain said something? No, that didn't make sense. Cain wouldn't out himself as well as Dean. Unless Cain turned the story around—saying Dean had made a move on him. God, how would he get around that one without looking guilty?

"Alright, bring it in!" Zach shouted, urging the whole team to join together in a huddle.

"Good session boys." Cain laughed, as some of the slower boys gathered in the back. Zach then slapped Dean on the back, while everyone said how great it was to have him back in training.

"The good news is we get to keep him." Zach pointed out, making Dean narrow his eyes. What was this guy on about?

"So, the rumors aren't true?" Uriel asked with a grin, "That's good."

"We definitely sure?" Raphael asked, watching Dean cautiously.

"What the fuck, man?" Dean asked, throwing his hands up. This was what it was all about? The rumors? Were they all idiots?

"He passed the test," Cain nodded, "Wouldn't let me kiss him. Freaked out, actually."

"What?" Dean looked at his teammate and shook his head, "Test? You...fucking hell, I was seriously freaking out."

"Homophobic, much?" Cain laughed, "How do you deal with sharing a room with that fag? Seriously, the offer is still there for my room."

Dean just shook his head, as everyone laughed at the situation. They slowly explained how Zach had set it up for one of the guys to try kiss Dean. If he didn't get freaked out or if he returned the kiss, he was going to be kicked off the team. It would mean the rumors were true.

Dean was really angry at the deception. He'd spent the last few hours panicking about Cain and his feelings. His teammates were actually willing to believe some rumors and they wanted to test his loyalties—and then there was the knowledge that they couldn't accept him for who he really was. He knew right there and then that if he came out to any of them they'd kick him off the team. Every bone in his body was telling him to fight. He couldn't forgive them for any of this.

But then he remembered that if he really wanted to go to college, he needed football. He needed that scholarship. And going to college was becoming something that he really wanted to do; really, really wanted to do. He wanted to get out of Kansas. He wanted to get away from the judgment and be the guy he really was. He needed a fresh start for that.

Not that he'd really get that. Zach would be going to the same college unless some more scouts gave them offers. But he could sort of get that fresh start he needed.

"Hey, sorry man," Cain patted Dean on the back, "I really didn't mean to freak you out like that. You looked like you could have killed me."

"I, erm, yeah..." Dean frowned. He was going to have to ignore everything that happened for now. He needed football. It wasn't an option right now. But that didn't mean he was happy about it. And he definitely didn't think of any of the team as friends. He never could.

* * *

**Poor Dean, huh? There's more Dean and Cas to come in the next chapter, I promise. I'd love to hear what you thought of this chapter. Please R&amp;R.  
**


	19. Chapter 19

**Thanks for the feedback on the chapter.**

**Will as a guest I couldn't reply to you personally, so I'm doing it here. It's not based on me. It's just fiction. There are elements that I've taken from experience (such as emotions) but the storyline is completely made up. **

**Guest (sorry, I don't have a name) thanks for your feedback. It was fucked up, but I enjoyed writing it just for a laugh and a twist. Glad you enjoyed it.**

**Chapter 19**

The next few weeks seemed to fly by effortlessly for Dean. He pushed the thoughts of the trick the football team played to the back of his mind, and just got on with things. Every time he thought about packing it all in and finding real friends, he reminded himself about college.

It did get to the point where he thought again about whether he needed college. Was that something he really wanted to do, when he had to deal with people like this? Castiel suggested that he draw up a list of pros and cons about college. The pros kept winning out. The thought of being in San Francisco, away from everything, really appealed to him.

It was annoying for both him and Castiel, but it was a necessary evil right now. The only saving grace was that Benny and Speedy were being nicer to him. Dean wasn't stupid and knew that Cas had told them some of the stuff he was going through—not all of it, but enough for them to realize that he was making an effort to stop being the jackass he'd been the semester before.

That did help when it came to situations like this. Dean was trying to get through a math problem and was royally stuck. He didn't have the first clue, and new that turning to Castiel was his only option right now. Cas had already said he was going to work in Benny and Speedy's room, so Dean had to go knocking.

"Hey man, come in." Speedy smiled, opening the door fully for Dean to walk in the room. It turned out that the boys weren't doing school work at all. Dean sometimes wondered how the hell Castiel was so good in school. He smoked, drank and constantly got in trouble. But he was the smartest kid in school. It was like he didn't have to work for it.

The downside of everyone being in the room was that all eyes were on him. And not everyone was happy about Dean being friends with Castiel. They didn't know the full truth, and made it known that they still thought of him as a jerk.

"Hey, erm, Cas, would you mind helping me?" Dean asked, holding up his math workbook for his roommate.

"Sure," Cas nodded with a smile, "What is it?"

"Question five. Just can't..."

"Oh that was a tricky one," Cas nodded his head, cutting his friend off and grabbing the workbook from him. He looked at Benny, "You don't mind if I use your desk for a few minutes, do you?"

"Use away, brother." Benny slid off his desk, so Castiel could put the workbook down. Dean nervously walked into the room. He hated feeling like the whole room was going to jump him as soon as his back was turned. Not that they'd get far, but it still made him feel a little nervous.

As the two worked through the problem, Dean felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. He was going to ignore it, until _Can't Fight This Feeling_, started playing.

"Sorry, let me take this." Dean held up his hand and answered the call, "Hey, Jo. What's..."

"What the fuck, Winchester!" Jo shouted down the phone. She was pissed at something, and Dean couldn't help but wonder what he'd missed. The usual questions went through his head. Had he gotten drunk and said something stupid? No. Did he insult her accidentally? No. Did he forget her birthday? No. Her birthday was in July. So, what could she be angry about?

"What have I done?" Dean decided to play this one carefully.

"More like not done!" Jo shouted at him, "You didn't think your best friend deserved to know you were gonna be a dad?"

"What?" Dean frowned, his heart rate rising rapidly. Dad? What was she going on about?

"Don't play dumb, Dean," Jo screamed, "I saw Lisa today. You remember me telling you she'd been missing a lot of school lately?"

"Erm, no but..." Dean shook his head, deciding to take the call outside. He couldn't do with all the eyes on him right now, "What are you talking about, Jo?"

"She's being home-schooled," Jo sighed, "Guess her folks thought she could hide the baby bump. But fucking hell, Dean, it looks like she's having twins."

"Twins...baby..." Dean was trying to get his head around everything, "What the fuck, Jo? I haven't spoken to Lisa since Ash's party at Christmas."

Castiel walked out of the room, concern clearly in his eyes, while Dean continued talking to Jo. His blood pressure was sky-high right now as he took everything in.

"Oh God, Dean!" Jo suddenly backtracked, her anger dissolving, "You didn't know. Shit. I'm sorry! I shouldn't have shouted at you like that. I should've known you'd tell me if...Shit. I'm so so sorry, Dean."

"What are you trying to tell me, Jo?" Dean wanted her to say the actual words. He needed her to say the actual words.

"You're not stupid, Dean." Jo made it clear that he was going to have to work this out himself.

"I need to hear it, Jo," Dean warned her, "Just spit it out."

"Lisa's pregnant," Jo finally said, "She says it's yours."

Dean couldn't see himself, but he guessed he'd just paled. It felt like all the blood had left his face anyway. His heart was pounding so hard that it felt like it was going to jump out of his chest. The corridor started spinning, making Dean reach out for anything to grab hold of. That meant dropping the phone. Jo's voice faintly called out for him, as he grabbed the wall and just stared at it.

Lisa was pregnant. She was having his kid. At least, that's what she was saying. And Dean knew Lisa. If she was far enough along, it would be Dean's. One thing that Lisa had always been was loyal. He could trust her to stay faithful to him, even though he'd always said they weren't exclusive. He tried to make it seem like it was for her benefit, but he knew it was always for his. He just wasn't that into her the way she was with him.

"Jo, it's Cas," Castiel now spoke and Dean realized he hadn't seen him pick the phone up off the floor, "I'm Dean's..."

Jo seemed to cut him off, and Dean just assumed that she'd put two and two together. He'd told her that it was his roommate that had made him see some sense in his sexuality. God, everything with Cas was going to come to an end now. He'd need to get back with Lisa and help her with the baby. That was college out of the window. He'd have to stay in Kansas...everything was about to change for him.

"That's right," Cas seemed to chuckle, "Is everything okay?" He paused again, but Dean daren't look at him. He didn't want to see the disappointment, shock and fear that Dean knew would be there once he found out, "I'll get him to call you back. He doesn't look very well. Maybe he is coming down with something. Bye, Jo."

Castiel hung up and crouched down on the floor, trying to look into Dean's eyes. But he refused to look up. He stared at a piece of stained carpet, trying to get everything into his head. His whole life had been turned upside down.

"Dean?" Cas asked, just worry in his voice. Jo hadn't said anything to him, but he'd find out soon. Dean was going to have to tell him. Cas deserved to find out.

He couldn't tell him right now. He had a couple of phone calls to make. Maybe Jo was mistaken. Maybe it was all a sick joke. God, he hoped it was all some sick joke.

"I, erm, I..." Dean couldn't form a sentence and he couldn't look Cas in the eye right now. He quickly grabbed the phone from his roommate's hand, mumbling a thanks before rushing off. He needed to do this now.

As soon as the door was closed, he started dialing. He couldn't talk to Lisa right now, but needed to find out if this was all true. Knowing that he could trust one person to be honest with him right now, he dialed the number.

"Sammy?" Dean managed to croak out, tears threatening to fall down his cheeks.

"Hey, Dean, what's..." Sam started but then stopped. Dean could almost sense his whole demeanor change. Sam's voice dropped as he mumbled a few choice curse words, "You know."

"Jo called. It's true?"

"I don't know," Sam sighed, "I didn't see Lisa but I saw Jo afterwards. She was so angry with you for not telling her, Dean. But I know you...you wouldn't keep us in the dark about that. Did Jo or Lisa tell you?"

"Jo," Dean answered, tears now falling down his cheeks, "I...Lisa hasn't spoken to me. I haven't seen her since Christmas. Do you know anything?"

"Jo said she saw Lisa in the grocery store. Her dad didn't let her stick around for long to talk, though," Sam replied and Dean couldn't help but chuckle. Lisa's dad was a strict Catholic. He was surprised he had even let Lisa out of the house, "Jo said Lisa says it's yours."

"She didn't say how far along?"

"She wasn't up for chatting, Dean," Sam sighed, "She was pissed at you. Thought you'd neglected to tell her about this. What you gonna do, Dean? I mean, you and your roommate and then there's Mom and Dad. They're gonna be pissed."

"I know," Dean nodded, anger building up inside him. He couldn't be angry at Sam, though, or at Jo. He couldn't even be angry at Lisa. He was just as much to blame at Lisa for a kid, but he was angry that the girl hadn't told him, "I gotta...I gotta talk to Lisa and figure this out. I just hope she'll answer my calls. I'll call you later, okay?"

"Okay, Dean." Sam sighed, and Dean couldn't tell whether he was disappointed or sad for his brother. It would mean some big changes.

"Bye, Sammy." Dean quickly hung up and then started searching his phone book for Lisa. Just then, Castiel walked into the room with Dean's math workbook in hand. Dean shook his head with a frown and put the phone down on the desk, "I can't think about math, right now."

"What's happened, Dean?" Cas now asked, still worry filling his blue eyes, "Has something happened at home? Is someone hurt? Jo sounded upset and angry."

"Yeah, erm, I don't really wanna talk about it right now," Dean shook his head, "I need to get some answers before I tell you anything. I'm sorry but...I need to talk to my ex."

"Your ex?" Castiel asked, hurt in his voice.

"Look, things are just a little messed up right now." Dean sighed, picking up the cell phone and walking out of the room. He needed to go somewhere private. Somewhere nobody would come looking for him. There was only really one place he could go right now.

Dean walked all the way to the end of the school boundary. Well, he hoped it was still on school grounds. This little spot that Cain had shown him was useful for one thing. Cas and his friends had no idea about it. It would mean Dean could get some peace right now.

Pulling out his smokes, he lit one up before finally getting the courage to call Lisa. As he expected, it went through to voicemail. He had wondered whether Lisa would have her phone on. If he knew her dad well enough, he'd guessed he'd taken her phone off her. Dean would have to ring her landline if he wanted to talk to her.

Swallowing hard, he made the call. He needed answers.

"Hello." The gruff voice of Lisa's dad spoke, making Dean panic. This wasn't going to be easy.

"Hi, Mr. Braeden," Dean finally spoke, "Is Lisa there, please?"

"You have some nerve calling here, Dean," Lisa's dad growled, "I should string you up. If you weren't in that boarding school, I would string you up. Lisa may not have said who the father is, but I know it's you. You're the one who pressured her into having sex. You just couldn't keep it in your pants, could you?"

"I didn't pressure her," Dean wanted to argue back, but he kept his voice calm for now. The anger was already bubbling, though. Mr. Braeden had never really liked Dean. No guy was good enough for his little girl. Lisa was the youngest of two daughters. She was the apple of the guy's eye. That was part of the lure of the head cheerleader, "Look, I'm sorry. I didn't...Lisa didn't tell me. I just found out from a friend."

"So, you're not denying that it's yours," Mr. Braeden spoke firmly, "I knew it. I'll be talking to your parents, Dean. You better do right by my girl."

"I will. I promise, sir," Dean knew that it was a promise he wouldn't be breaking either, "But can I speak to Lisa, please? I've only just found out and I'd like to hear from her. I need to know stuff."

There was some shuffling with the phone and then Dean heard Mr. Braeden shouting out for someone. Dean really hoped that it was for Lisa to pick up the phone. She was clearly pregnant, but he needed to hear it from her. And he wanted to know where they were going to go from here.

"Dean?" Lisa's voice spoke through the phone, a mixture of hope and sadness, "Is that you?"

"Hey, Lise," Dean said with a sigh, "Jo told me."

"I...I'm sorry, Dean," Lisa was now crying. _Damn it, don't cry, Lisa_, Dean thought to himself. He really struggled with crying girls; always had, "I, erm, I tried...I was gonna tell you and then...well, we ended up in bed again and..."

"Wait, we ended up in bed?" Dean frowned, "How far along are you, Lisa? The last time I saw you was Christmas at Ash's party."

"I know." Lisa sighed. Dean's strongest subject wasn't math, but he was good enough to realize things weren't quite adding up.

"The time I saw you before that was the night before I left for here," Dean pointed out, "That was September, Lisa. Are you telling me...you were pregnant then?"

"I found out after you left. At the end of October," Lisa explained, "I was gonna tell you at Christmas but..."

"You were drinking at that party, Lisa," Dean scolded her, "What the fuck? You were three months pregnant by then and...wait, when did you tell your parents because there's no way they would have let you come to that party."

"They found out after that. Last month." Lisa let Dean absorb all the information. It was too much, though. There were still so many questions running through his head.

"I'm nearly five months pregnant, Dean." She now said. Dean just shook his head, taking a drag from the cigarette to help try to calm his nerves and his anger. How the hell could she go five months without telling him this?

"Lisa, I..." Dean didn't really know, "Shit, Lise. This is...this is really fucked up."

"I know," Lisa cried over the phone to him, "I'm sorry. I know my dad wants you to do the right thing, but I have no expectations, okay? I know you don't love me or anything so..."

"You think I'm gonna let you raise a kid alone?" Dean asked, "I want to be a part of my kid's life, Lisa. No, I may not love you but that doesn't mean I want you to be a single mom. I'd never expect that."

"I think we need to talk about this, huh?" Lisa asked, laughing through her tears. _Damn right we need to talk about this,_ Dean thought to himself, placing the cigarette in his mouth and running his hand through his hair. This was a whole big pile of mess. Taking the cigarette again, he decided to break the silence.

"I'm back home in a few weeks for a bit," Dean sighed, "Or maybe I can get out on a weekend pass this weekend. I don't got football so should be able to get it."

"That would be great, Dean," Lisa sighed, "But I can't do this weekend. My dad, he's...he's shipping me off to my Grandma's this weekend."

"How long for?"

"For the duration of the pregnancy," Lisa sighed, "He said that he couldn't have news getting out that I'm pregnant. What about the weekend after? You know where she lives, right?"

"Yeah, I'll see what I can do," Dean nodded, "Did your dad take your phone, by the way? I tried calling that first."

"Yeah," Lisa sighed, "I'm really sorry I didn't tell you sooner, Dean. I just...well, I didn't know what to do."

"I know," Dean sighed, stubbing out the cigarette, "Look, I gotta make a couple o' calls. My folks need to find out and that's not gonna be easy. I'll see you soon."

"Bye, Dean."

"Bye," Dean sighed and hung up the call. His whole life had been turned upside down and he had to break it all to his parents over the phone. Standing up, Dean started pacing and cursing, "Damn it!" He shouted, before punching his fist into a tree. Pain instantly ran up his hand and arm. He knew right away that he'd done damage, and he couldn't help but scream and shout. It wasn't like anyone would hear him anyway. He was far enough away from the school and nobody would know where he was.

Examining his hand, Dean decided the damage was just superficial. He was sure there weren't any broken bones. His knuckles had withstood more than a punch to the tree. The worst part of this was the piece of bark that has lodged itself in between his index and middle knuckles. Pulling it out, he held up his phone and went through his contact list again. It was time to make the dreaded phone call. Damn, his parents were going to be pissed.

No, he couldn't do this over the phone. He needed to tell them face to face. They deserved that. He'd deserved to find out he was going to be a dad face to face, so his parents should find out about their unborn grandchild that way. He would need to get out of the school, though. The best way would be to get suspended, but that would just add more fuel to the fire.

No, right now he needed to get out without getting in trouble. He could to that, couldn't he? Maybe Castiel would know. Or maybe even Zach. Could he really talk to Zach about this? He didn't think of the guy as a friend, but he was the team captain. Surely he'd want the best for every member of his team. Zach had to know how he could get out of the school right now.

When he got back to the dorm building, there were students getting back from the classrooms. Looking at his watch, he realized that the designated homework time was over, and everyone would be getting ready for headcount and bed. He hadn't even thought about that. How long had he been working his head through all this?

"Hey, Winchester," one of the freshman boys smiled up at him, "Great game last week."

"Thanks, dude." Dean smiled, grateful that this boy was trying to take his mind off everything running through it.

"The finals are in two weeks, right?" The boy now asked, making Dean nod. That was right. The finals were in two weeks. That might make it harder to get out to see Lisa. But he needed to see her. He needed to talk to her and find out everything. This was all going from bad to worse.

"You seen Zach anywhere?" Dean decided to change the subject. He knew that the boy probably wouldn't have a clue—hell, Dean didn't even know the guy's name—but it would be a good way to avoid talk about football for now.

"No, sorry." The boy smiled, letting Dean rush off down the corridor. Chances were that Zach would be in his room, so he thought about trying.

"Yeah?" Zach called out from behind the door, making Dean sigh. He wasn't sure whether he wanted to go through with this, but he really needed to talk to his parents face to face, and had to do it before Lisa's dad spoke to them. He knew the guy would, just to make sure Dean went through with his promise.

"Hey, man, you got a minute?" Dean asked, closing the door behind him. Zach was dressed in his sweats and a t-shirt, ready for either training or bed. With headcount coming up, Dean guessed it was going to be the latter.

"What's up, man?" Zach asked, "You okay? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Ha, well," Dean shrugged his shoulders, "Just had some life-changing news. Don't really wanna go through it right now, but just wondered if there was a way I'd be able to get home for the night. Need to talk to my parents about something, and it's not a conversation to have over the phone."

"There's on a handful of reasons they'd let you do that," Zach said, making Dean sigh with disappointment, "Someone died?"

"Someone could do," Dean joked but now was not the time for that. He shook his head, "Sorry, no. Erm, just some news from an ex."

"You not got one pregnant, did you?" Zach laughed, and Dean couldn't hide the expression that told Zach he'd hit the nail on the head. Zach suddenly stopped laughing, and widened his brown eyes, "Oh fuck! Sit down, man!"

"Thanks, but I think I'd rather stand right now," Dean shifted his position. Zach wasn't taking no for an answer though, pulling Dean to the desk and sitting him on the chair. Instantly, Dean leaned forward and started tapping the heel of his right foot nervously, while running his hands through his blonde hair nervously, "I just found out and my parents don't know yet. It's not really something I can tell 'em over the phone, you know? Bad enough I found out that way."

"Yeah, I getcha," Zach nodded, "So, who? Cassie?"

"No, no, no, no," Dean shook his head, "A girl back home. My ex, Lisa." Dean didn't really want to talk about this, but Zach was being non-judgmental and seemed to want to help. It surprised Dean just how easy it was going to be to talk about all his problems, and just how helpful it may be. He couldn't have talked to Cas about this. Not right now, at least.

"I know you'll wanna work this out yourself," Zach sighed, "You've always been quiet about your personal life. But I am here if you wanna talk or rant or something."

Dean just sat there, not really looking at anything. There seemed to be an interesting pattern in Zach's sheets, and Dean let himself work around it until he landed on Zach's leg. It brought him back to reality.

"You know, she's five months along," Dean laughed, "She knew when she saw me at Christmas. We got together at a party. She was gonna tell me then but, well, we ended up doing other things that didn't involve talking, you know?"

"Yeah, generally the case with parties," Zach laughed but then frowned, "Wait, five months? That was...you definitely sure it's yours?"

"If she says it is, it is," Dean nodded, "I know Lisa and she wouldn't lie to me about this. It's so stupid. Everything was actually working out. I got that scholarship offer and could go to college. All I had to do was pass my SATs and everything would have been perfect. I'd stayed out of trouble, well, within reason. And now this happens. Life really knows how to throw a curveball. I have no idea how I'm gonna tell me parents, but I need to do it face to face."

Zach just listened, and Dean couldn't help but apologize for the rant afterwards. But his team captain didn't seem to care that much. He just nodded his head and listened.

"There may be a way to get you off the grounds," Zach seemed deep in thought for a few seconds, "Probably tomorrow, though. Can you wait that long?"

"Yeah," Dean nodded, "What you got in mind?"

"Meet me at coach's office tomorrow morning after breakfast." Zach just said and that was it. Dean was gonna have to wait until tomorrow to find out, but at least there was a chance.

Dean made his way straight back to his room, mind buzzing with everything going on. He was gonna have to text Jo to tell her he'd spoken to Lisa, and then there was Sammy. He'd need to find a way to stop Lisa's parents talking to his own, and Sam was the only person who could help with that. After that, he'd need to find a way to talk to Cas; tell him everything that had just happened.

"Hello, Dean." Castiel spoke, putting the book that he was reading on his nightstand and rushing over to him. Dean couldn't talk about this right now. He needed to think carefully about how to break this to his boyfriend. After all, being with Lisa would mean that he couldn't be with Cas. That was going to hurt the guy. The thought of it was already hurting Dean. He was finally in a relationship that felt right to him, and he was gonna have to end it. He was going to break the promise he made to Gabriel about not hurting Cas.

Sighing, Dean brushed Cas off him, with a simple request not to touch him. He didn't miss the flash of sadness in Cas' eyes, though.

"Dean? Is everything okay?"

Dean shook his head and laid back on his bed. He wasn't going to have this conversation, but he knew that acting like this wasn't going to help the situation. He just hoped it would mean Cas would stop asking questions.

"What did Jo say?" Cas asked, sitting on the end of the bed, looking over at Dean, "You haven't been the same since she called."

"It's nothing I want to talk about." Dean said, pulling his cell phone out so he could text his best friend and his brother. He needed them to do some damage control until he could get home and speak to his parents. And he needed to think about what he was going to do. Maybe it would mean he'd leave the school. He could get his GED, get home and be with Lisa. They could work something out.

Now if only he wasn't only 18! What could they both do? They were seniors in high school. They were supposed to have their whole lives in front of them. He needed to sit down with Lisa and discuss what they were going to do. He just wished he was at home right now so they could discuss things. There were only four months left before he became a dad.

"Has something happened at home?" Castiel asked, "Are your parents okay? Is Jo okay?"

"They're all fine, Cas," Dean ran his hand through his hair as he thought about what he would say to Sam first, "I don't want to talk about it."

Castiel seemed to get the idea that Dean wasn't going to talk, and stood with a nod. He walked over to his own bed and went back to his book.

"We need to call this off." Dean finally sighed, putting his phone on his nightstand. It was something else playing on his mind.

"What?"

"You and me," Dean sighed, "We need to call it off. I'm not doing it anymore."

"Dean, we...but..." Castiel was clearly hurt by Dean's words, so hurt that Dean couldn't bear looking at him. Cas had only declared his love for him last month and now Dean was breaking his heart, "Why?"

"Because feelings change, Cas," Dean sighed, "I don't want to be with you anymore."

"Did Newns say something?" Castiel now asked, frowning. Dean shook his head and rolled onto his side so his back was to Cas. He knew Castiel wanted answers. He deserved the answers, but Dean couldn't give them to him right now. All he knew was that he wasn't bringing someone else into the mess that he called his life.

* * *

**It is going to get much harder before it gets easier...I'd love to read your thoughts on this chapter. Please R&amp;R.  
**


	20. Chapter 20

**Thank you everyone for your reviews. I'm so sorry I haven't had the time to reply to them all personally. Work has swamped me this week and I'm only just getting sometime now to update the chapters for my various stories. I know some of you really hated the ending to the last chapter and wonder whether Lisa is lying about Dean being the father. It's all to come up through the next few chapters.**

Chapter 20

Dean did as Zach asked him the night before. He met him outside of his coach's office after breakfast. They were there before Coach Harris had turned up, but it gave Zach the chance to discuss the plan.

"So, we'll go in saying that we're grabbing things for training," Zach explained, "That will give you the chance to get out of the school. Harris will be fine with it."

"But that means we're both going," Dean pointed out, "I can't really have you showing up with me when I talk to my parents."

"Just drop me off in town or something," Zach shrugged his shoulders, "Look, this is your best way of getting out for a few hours to talk to them. I know you probably want longer—well, I'm guessing your parents would. I wouldn't if I was telling my folks what you have to tell yours, but this is all I can do for ya."

"No, you're a big help, man," Dean shook his head, trying not to sound like an ungrateful dick. He never imaged that Zach could actually be quite helpful, "Hey, afterwards, think you can help me move my stuff into Cain's room?"

"You finally want to get away from that fag?" Zach asked with a laugh, "Yeah, and we'll talk to coach about getting your room switched too."

It all worked. Coach Harris wasn't bothered about the boys going out for training equipment. It was like he knew there was another reason, but wasn't going to ask. Switching rooms was even easier. They managed to convince the coach that it would be easier having the football team in the same rooms. Dean was constantly waking his roommate up early for training, and it wasn't that fair. Of course Coach Harris was going to agree to a room switch.

Dean and Zach were now in his Impala, ready to leave the school grounds.

"This ride is sweet." Zach pointed out, instantly moving to the radio to turn the dial. Dean slapped his hand away.

"I have one rule when it comes to music," Dean stated, "Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole." With that, Dean picked up a tape and placed it into the player, Metallica blasting out of the stereo. Zach just smirked at his friend and held his hands up defensively, noting that it was a good rule to have. Dean didn't care if it was good or bad. It was his rule and that's the way it was always going to stay.

"So, you thought about what you're gonna say to 'em?" Zach asked as they got onto the highway.

"Not yet," Dean shook his head and then frowned, "I know I don't have to say it, but this has to stay between us, okay? I don't want people finding out about this, yet."

"That's cool, man," Zach shrugged his shoulders, "I'm not a gossip. I listen to the rumors, I don't start them."

Dean just nodded his head and continued driving. He really wasn't sure if he could trust the guy, but right now he was the only one who could help. Zach wouldn't have found out about the pregnancy if he hadn't have guessed, anyway.

"What about college?" Zach now asked, "I mean that scholarship offer is awesome."

"I know," Dean nodded with a sigh, "Not sure about that. I gotta speak to Lise, find out what she's gonna do and what she wants from me."

"When you gonna do that?"

"Will see if I can get a weekend pass or something," Dean shrugged his shoulders, "Dunno really." It was a lie, but Dean didn't really want to go into it all. Zach seemed to realize that he didn't want to discuss the matter any further, but he wouldn't let the car fall silent.

"It's a shame, you know, if you don't go to college," Zach said, "I thought we could become roomies if we go to San Fran."

"Maybe." Dean replied, keeping his eyes focused on the road. This wasn't something he wanted to talk about either. Anything that meant thinking about the future—a future with a baby—was not something he wanted to think about.

Once they reached Lawrence, Dean dropped Zach off in town and gave him a time for when he'd meet him in the same spot. The quarterback captain wouldn't have an issue finding something to do while Dean discussed things with his parents. Well, more like his mom. His dad would be at work right now.

As Dean pulled up at the house, he glanced up at the door. He just couldn't help but feel his heart beating hard in his chest. In fact, he could hear the blood pounding in his ears. It sounded like soldiers were marching in his head.

"Get it together, Dean," he told himself, "It's bad but it's not the end of the world. At least you're not telling Dad you're gay." He wasn't sure what would be worse right now. Telling John he was gay or he was going to be a dad. Both would have consequences and involve a lot of shouting. The upside to being gay was that his future wasn't completely ruined. Lisa's future wouldn't have been ruined.

With a deep sigh, Dean got out of his car and walked into the house. It was now or never.

"Hello?" Mary questioned, walking out of the kitchen. Dean scolded himself. He should have knocked or at least called first. Mary would be home alone. His siblings would be in school and John at work. She'd freak out to someone walking into the house.

"Hey, Mom." Dean grinned nervously.

"Dean?" Mary asked, walking over to her son with concern and worry in her eyes, "Is everything okay? Why are you home?" her concern slowly turned to disappointment and frustration, "Oh, Dean..."

"I'm not in trouble," Dean pointed out, pulling his mom into a hug, "Well, not at school, anyway."

"Oh, no," Mary sighed, looking into her son's green eyes, "Not the police again. What have you done this time?"

"Mom," Dean sighed, shaking his head, "Not the police. Can we sit down, please?"

Mary shook her head and took Dean's hands in her own. That was when he realized just how much he was shaking.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong? You're shaking," Mary asked, concern in her soft green eyes, "Dean, why are you home?"

"There's something I need to talk to you about," Dean's voice cracked as he plucked up the courage to do this. There was no turning back right now, "It's Lise. She, erm, well we...she's pregnant, Mom. The baby's mine."

Mary didn't say anything. She just couldn't. Dean waited for a few seconds until he suddenly felt the sharp sting as her hand connected with his left cheek. And he just took it. He understood why his mom did this and was expecting a lot worse.

"Mom..." Dean broken the silence, but Mary held up her hand and walked away from her first-born son. He knew at that moment that she couldn't bear to look at him. Of all the things he could have told her, this was likely the worst. Being expelled from another school probably wouldn't have been as bad. As least there was the chance of being home-schooled again. There was the chance of a future. But this...he'd really ruined his life this time, "Mom, I'm sorry."

"That doesn't cut it this time, Dean." Mary finally spoke to him, walking into the kitchen. Dean quickly followed to see her pour herself a glass of wine, staring at it as if it had all the answers. He frowned and took the wine glass from her hands.

"Mom, please say something to me." Dean sighed.

"When?"

"When what?"

"When am I gonna be a grandmother?" Mary asked him, finally looking up to meet his eyes. He shrugged his shoulders, uncomfortable now under her glare. She was half a foot shorter than him, but felt like a giant right now.

"She's five months pregnant. I don't know the due date."

"Five months?" Mary exploded, "You're only just telling me now? Did you think this was something you could just hide? Are you that stupid, Dean?"

"I didn't know!" Dean replied back, his voice quiet and small. He wouldn't get angry at her for being angry at him. She had every right to, "I'm sorry. I found out last night. Managed to get out of school so I could tell you. I didn't know, Mom. If I did, I would've told you sooner."

Mary shook her head, running her hand through her blonde curls, "Dean..."

"I don't know what to do, Mom." Dean now admitted, tears filling his eyes.

"Oh sweetheart." Mary pulled him into a hug, and he finally let go of all the tears he was building up. He sobbed uncontrollably, and he wasn't even ashamed of it right now. This was his mother. She could fix things, right? She was always able to fix things? If only that was the case. He knew she couldn't fix this. A kiss on the boo-boo wasn't going to make it all go away.

Dean pulled away from the hug and started pacing the floor. Now that he'd gotten through the disappointment and got to the comforting stage, he could let it all out. He could tell her all about the plans that he had. All that he knew he was messing up.

"I know this is a big deal," Dean admitted, "I was stupid and I should have known better. I really wish I could go back. I'd just gotten the football scholarship and now I've messed it all up. All I had to do was pass the SATs. and I'd have a full-ride to college. And now I can't do it. I hate myself for it right now, but I can't leave Lisa. This baby is my responsibility, too."

"Well, I raised you right in that aspect," Mary nodded her head, folding her arms across her chest, "This is something you and Lisa need to discuss, though. I can't image her father is happy with any of this."

"He's not," Dean sighed, "He's taking her to her grandmother's at the weekend. Pulled her out of school and everything. We're gonna talk. I'm gonna get a weekend pass and see her. I don't know what I'm gonna do, though, Mom. Her dad wants me to make it right, but...I can't just marry her. One I'm still in high school and two it wouldn't be fair on the kid. I mean, I don't love Lisa."

Mary nodded her head in agreement, but Dean continued so she didn't have to say anything.

"But I want to do right by the kid. I owe it to Lisa to be there somehow. Do you think Dad would give me a job in his garage? No, I've gotta talk to Dad about that. You can't do it for me. Shit, Dad is gonna kill me for this. You know, I was scared about telling you but Dad...shit, Mom!"

"Language." Mary scolded him, breaking her silence for the last few minutes. Dean frowned but nodded his head, mumbling an apology. After that, he continued walking and ranting about his future. Everything that he struggled with in his head was coming out.

"I was actually looking forward to college, though, you know," Dean laughed at himself, "I mean, football was one thing I was good at and I got a scholarship. But I know it's off the table. I can't see Lise wanting to move out to San Francisco with me."

"Have you spoken to her about that?" Mary asked, making it clear that college may not be completely off the table right now.

"Not properly," Dean shook her head, "But she always said that she wanted to go to New York. That's always been her dream, Mom."

"That was before all this," Mary pointed out, "And what does New York have that San Francisco doesn't?"

Dean frowned, but realized that his mom had a point. Things were going to change for both of them. Maybe Lisa would move to San Francisco with him. But it was a conversation that he'd have to have with her, and only her.

"I need to tell Dad." Dean now stated the obvious. This was not something he wanted to think about, but he knew it was a must.

"You do," Mary nodded, "How long are you going to be here for?"

"I don't have that long," Dean sighed, looking at his watch. It was almost lunch time, "Will he be home for lunch?"

"I'll find out." Mary sighed, picking up the phone and making a call. Dean decided to be helpful and started making a pot of coffee. They were going to need it to tell John the news.

John walked through the door 30 minutes later, a smile on his face. Dean hated himself for what he was about to say. It would surely knock that smile off.

"Dean?" John questioned his eldest son with a frown, "Why aren't you at school?" His eyes instantly went to Mary to see if there was a hint of what was going on. Mary had developed a good poker face over the years—she'd had to with three boys and a trouble-making daughter—and John couldn't tell anything. Dean swallowed hard, though. The look on his face was going to give it all away.

"Hey, Dad." He said weakly, and John just shook his head, sitting down on the couch.

"Okay, what trouble have you gotten in this time?"

"Lisa's pregnant, sir." Dean spoke calmly, waiting to see the reaction that would come from his father. John just glared at him and then looked at Mary, trying to work out whether this was a very bad practical joke.

Shaking his head, John finally spoke, "Did you know about this, Mary?"

"I found out about it just before I called you," Mary sighed, "He knows he's really messed up."

"Damn right he's messed up," John shouted and then looked at his eldest son, "How could you be so stupid, Dean? I understand that you have urges. I was a teenage boy once, too. But why did you not use protection? We had this talk with you."

"I know and I did," Dean sighed, rubbing the back of his neck nervously, "I don't know all the details, yet. I spoke to Lisa last night about it."

"You only found out last night?" when Dean nodded his head, John continued, "How far along is she? I thought you broke up..."

"She's five months, Dad," Dean spoke clearly, knowing better than to mumble or drag out the answer, "It was just before we broke up."

John just nodded again and then looked at Mary, "Do they know what they're doing?"

"I'm right here, Dad," Dean sighed, "And no, we don't. She told me last night but I still need to talk to her about our options. I don't even know if she's keeping it, yet."

"I'd suggest you put the baby up for adoption, Dean." John now said, glancing between Mary and his eldest son. Dean frowned, shaking his head, "Listen to me before you argue. You and Lisa can't give a kid the life it would deserve. You're not together and you're both in high school. That kid deserves a loving home with parents who can support it. You and Lisa both have college to think about."

"I know, Dad," Dean sighed. And deep down he knew that his dad was right about adoption, "I need to speak to Lise first. I'm really sorry but I need to get back to school. I only got a couple of hours out. Told my coach I was picking stuff up for training so I could tell you this face to face."

"Thank you for that," John nodded and glanced at Mary, "Your Mom is grateful, too."

Dean looked over to his mom, offering a small smile before hugging her tightly. He then looked back at his dad, "I am sorry, sir."

John sighed and pulled his son into a hug, "Sort this out. We are here for you."

It went much better than Dean expected. He thought his dad would chew him a new one, but John Winchester had surprised him. Maybe it was better telling him he'd got a girl pregnant rather than liking guys after all.

As he thought about that, his thoughts went back to Castiel. He was going to break his roommate's heart. No, Cas wasn't even going to be his roommate anymore. Dean had already gained the okay from the coach to switch rooms. As much as Dean never really wanted to switch rooms, it would be easier to avoid the temptation with Cas. There would be nothing pulling them together. Nothing for him to secretly do on a night.

As he pulled up in town, he checked the clock. There was still 10 minutes until he'd agreed to meet Zach, so he'd grab a coffee while he could. As he stood in the line of some local coffee shop, he heard a voice call out his name.

"Dean Winchester!" Dean looked over his shoulder and grinned when he saw Sheriff Jody Mills walking over to him, "Well, it's very good to see you on this side of a jail cell."

"Aww, c'mon sheriff, I'm not that bad, am I?"

"No, I guess you're not," Jody laughed, "You know the department still talks about you and your last antics. How is your new school? I heard Ellen got you into St. Benedict's."

"Yeah, she did," Dean nodded with a smile, guessing that Jody hadn't heard about the latest drama with Lisa. He was kind of grateful about that, "It's alright."

"Alright? Your dad was so proud about your football scholarship."

Dean couldn't help but feel uneasy. Of course his parents had been so proud of that. He shouldn't be surprised that John had spoken about it to Jody. Dean was sure Jody and John had a history that he wasn't supposed to know about. She'd always looked out for him and tried to keep him out of trouble with the law where she could. Dean had decided to throw it in her face a few times, but she never stopped looking out for him.

Dean glanced out of the window to see Zach waiting at the Impala for him, "Oh, I gotta go. That's a friend from school."

Jody glanced outside and then smiled, waving goodbye to the teenager. Dean joined his teammate, not even thinking that he never did pick up that coffee after all.

"Hey, man. How did it go?"

"Let's get back to school." Dean sighed, getting into his car. It was clear that he did not want to discuss this yet.

* * *

**It was more of a filler, but a necessary one. I'd love to hear your thoughts. Please R&amp;R.  
**


	21. Chapter 21

**Thank you so much to the latest people to follow and favorite this story. Also, thank you to those who reviewed the last chapter. I know you're disappointed about there being no Cas in the last chapter, but he is back in this one. I hope you enjoy it.**

Chapter 21

Getting back to school was uneventful. In fact, the next few days were uneventful. Dean hardly saw Castiel, expect for in classes, and he didn't speak to any of the guy's friends once. Moving into Cain's room was admittedly a little easier for Dean and football. It was easier with them both being on the same training schedule.

Worries about Lisa and being a teenage dad kept running through his head, though. Some nights he could barely sleep as he thought about everything going on. He thought about college and wondered whether Lisa would be up for moving to San Francisco. Could he even be a dad, support a family and go to college at the same time? The only saving grace would be the full-ride, but that would mean a lot of football. Would it be fair on a kid?

It was 2am on the Saturday night and Dean just couldn't sleep. He'd really wished he could have seen Lisa that weekend. It would have helped so much to find out what she really wanted from all this. He needed to know her plans—or more like her dad's plans. Dean knew that that man would have something to do with all this.

With a deep sigh, Dean rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. His mind wasn't going to stop. He wouldn't be able to sleep right now and he knew it. Pulling on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, he decided he'd take his thoughts elsewhere. He quickly put on his sneakers as Cain mumbled in his sleep. Dean couldn't help but chuckle slightly hearing that. Cain was a sleep-talker, but he wasn't going to share that with the team.

One thing he had been grateful was Zach's ability to keep secrets. It turned out the guy wasn't that much of a douche. The team hadn't found out about Dean's impending future of parenthood. Zach hadn't told them why they'd really gone to Lawrence—or even that they'd gone to Lawrence. He covered for Dean when they came back with nothing for training. Now if only the guy would shut up with his homophobic slurs.

Taking his mind off the whole thing, Dean snuck out of his room and quietly made his way down the corridor. He walked past his old room with a sigh, but continued walking. There were times that he really missed sharing a room with Castiel. They'd been great roommates, and Dean missed everything about the guy. He missed the way his hair looked on a morning, and the way his eyes shone even in the darkness. Dean knew he was being sappy, but he didn't care. Cas had made Dean feel things he never thought possible, and it had felt amazing.

But he wouldn't bring the guy into his life now. He couldn't bring anyone into this mess that he'd half caused. Lisa needed him to be a man, and that meant doing the right thing. That was leaving Cas out of this and getting back with her.

He quickly made his way down to the hut and lit up. Nobody would follow him at this time of night. He'd be surprised if the teachers were even up at this time.

For 10 minutes he sat and thought through everything. He pulled out his cell phone and even considered just trying to call Lisa. Maybe her dad had given her the cell phone back. It would be so much easier if they could talk. Sighing, he considered calling Jo. She would talk to him about this, but at 2am? On a Saturday night? Chances were she'd be sleeping off a party or still at a party. No, he couldn't call Jo.

There was always Sammy, but he wouldn't want to wake Adam up, too. They both shared a room, and Adam wasn't the heaviest sleeper. No, he couldn't call his brother either. He was all alone with his thoughts. At least, that was what he thought. The sound of rustling outside of the hut told him that he'd been followed down here. Had a teacher been up after all?

Maybe it would be easier if he was caught after all. It would mean he could get home and drive to see Lisa. He'd be able to sought this whole mess out. Dean pulled out another cigarette as the door to the hut opened. He was going to get suspended for doing something, it might as well be this.

"Hello, Dean," it was Castiel's deep, gravelly voice in the darkness, "I thought I saw you come this way."

"You were spying on me?"

"I saw you run across the quad," Cas pointed out, closing the door to the hut, "I decided that this would be the best time to talk. You've avoided me for the past week. You switched rooms. Why?"

"I needed to get away from you." Dean shrugged his shoulders. It wasn't quite a lie, but it wasn't the full truth either. He didn't need to get away from Castiel for his own sake, but for Cas' sake. He couldn't pull Castiel into this.

"What did I do, Dean?"

_Fuck, he thinks it's his fault,_ Dean felt guilty for making him think that. He rubbed his chin and shook his head.

"It's not you, Cas," Dean shook his head, "It's…"

"You even fucking think about saying it's me and I will punch you," Castiel cut his former roommate off, anger in his blue eyes, "What the fuck is going on, Dean? I tell you I love you and you sleep with me. Now it's back to the way you were before all that? Was I just some game for you? Did you and the football team set bets or something?"

"It's not like that." Dean sighed, but in hindsight lying about that would have probably made more sense. It would keep Cas away from them.

"Then please enlighten me, Dean," Cas threw up his arms, "What is it like. I gave you everything and this is how you repay me."

"Cas, look feelings change, okay?" Dean sighed, "I'm just…I'm not into you, 'kay?"

No, Dean knew that it wasn't okay and the sound of sniffing told him that. Castiel was crying. He was crying over Dean. _Great, just great,_ Dean thought to himself and stood. Every part of him wanted to tell Cas the truth, but that would mean pulling him into all this. He grabbed Cas' shoulders, looking into his watery eyes.

"Look, I'm sorry, man," Dean sighed, "I like you but just not like that. The last few months have been eye-opening for me, but I guess I just like girls too much. I always said I wasn't gay."

Out of nowhere, Dean felt pain shooting across his jaw. He grabbed his face, looking at the floor in shock. Castiel had just punched him, and Dean wasn't going to fight back. He deserved everything his ex-roommate could throw at him.

"You're a dick," Castiel fired at him, his voice cracking through the emotion, "You're an assbutt."

"An assbutt?" Dean couldn't help but raise his eyebrows at the insult. That was one thing he'd never been called in the past.

"Yeah, an assbutt," Castiel pushed Dean backwards, "You fucked me and now you're telling me you're not gay? You think it can all go back to what it once was. I told you I love you. I never expected to hear it back from you, but I thought you at least cared about me. This was all some stupid game to you, right? I was some sort of bet or dare. You just had to get into my pants once. Was it good enough for you? It must have been since you did it a few times that week."

"It wasn't like that, Cas!" Dean shouted. While he didn't want to fight back, he wasn't going to sit and take it all. That wasn't in his Winchester nature.

"How many others have you done this to?" Cas asked, "How many other guys have you pretended to be straight to and then gone and broken their hearts. How many girls?"

"I haven't purposely broken hearts, Cas," Dean shouted, "And you're the first guy. Before I met you it was all girls. I'd never even thought of a guy like that before."

"Yeah, I'm sure that's what you tell them all," Cas shouted, "You know how deeply in love I fell for you. Within weeks you had me wrapped around your finger. I couldn't help but give you everything, even though you are a complete asshole. I knew it right away, but there was still something pulling me towards you."

Cas punched Dean again, but this time Dean couldn't take it. Dean wasn't someone who would purposely sleep with someone and then leave. He always made it clear to the girls he fucked that they were one-night stands, that he was never into relationships. Those who he did have relationships with knew that he wasn't exclusive. He never set up false pretenses and he never did that with Cas.

Feeling his anger building up, Dean pushed Castiel back. The smaller boy stumbled backwards and hit the side of the hut with a loud crash. He recovered quickly though and threw another punch at Dean. This time, Dean grabbed his arm and twisted it around. Castiel was thrown into the opposite wall of the hut.

"You gonna do the same as you did to that dick we saw at the movies?" Cas asked with a sadistic laugh, "Go for it. Put me out of my misery, Dean."

Dean grabbed Castiel's collar and pushed him up against the wall. Their bodies were just inches apart. They were so close that Dean could feel Castiel's breath on his face. It was warm, inviting and so familiar. Weakness took over and Dean closed the gap between them, staring into Castiel's beautiful blue eyes. His anger was still there, though, and he could see the hatred in Cas' eyes. Dean used the emotions to fuel his next moves.

Closing the gap completely, Dean's lips locked with Castiel's. He frantically ran his hands through Cas' messy black hair, gripping at it as he pushed his hips into him. Cas moaned as Dean deepened the kiss, his hands now running down the smaller boy's body.

Soon, his hands were underneath Castiel's shirt, running along his toned body. He wanted to pull the top off, but before he could Castiel pushed him back. They were breathless as they stared at each other.

"What the fuck was that?" Castiel asked, anger and confusion in his eyes. Dean just swallowed, shrugging his shoulders, but Castiel wanted a clear answer, "What the fuck was that, Dean? I thought you didn't want this."

Dean closed the gap, again. This time, he placed his hands on the wall of the hut, trapping Castiel between it and himself, "I think you know the truth, Cas."

His whisper was low and sensual, making it clear that he really did want this. He was just torn, as he had been months ago. But this was different. Every bone in Dean's body told him that being with Cas was perfect, but his mind told him to get away. He couldn't pull Castiel into his mess. The bones and his heart were winning though. Dean leaned forward and kissed Castiel again.

He had to give Cas his due though. The older teenager had some willpower. He pushed Dean away and started to walk away from him.

"We're not doing this," Castiel shouted, "You told me you didn't want this. You changed rooms just to get away from me. We're not doing this anymore. When you want to be a grown up about it, then we'll talk—and only talk."

Castiel walked out of the hut, leaving Dean with his thoughts again.

"Damn it!" Dean shouted, punching the hut wall with his right fist a couple of times to get rid of his anger. He had royally screwed everything up in his life. Every little thing.

* * *

The next week went by without too many incidents. He'd managed to get the weekend pass he needed, and arranged with Lisa to see her at her grandmother's home on the Saturday. He'd be staying at home so he could discuss other things with his parents, but he'd see her the Sunday before he went back to school, too. It was the least he could do right now.

Now he just needed to get through to Saturday. It all seemed fine until Friday afternoon when he ran into Benny. The teenager shouldered Dean with enough force to make him stagger to the side.

"What the fuck, man. Watch where you're going!" Dean shouted, all eyes on him and Benny. The younger boy turned and pushed Dean with his hands.

"You're a fucking bastard," Benny told him, "You should be watching where you're going. Watch your back, Winchester."

With that, Benny walked off, leaving Dean handling the eyes that were on him. As Dean turned to look at people, the anger in his eyes told them to scamper off. He wasn't in the mood for gossip and giggles.

It was later that same day that he ran into Benny again. This time they were alone as Dean walked towards the science block. It just had to be a two minute walk away from the rest of the school. Dean didn't usually mind the walk. It usually meant he got a few minutes to himself to think things through. He would put his iPod on and listen to his music and sometimes run through game plans. This day in particular he was thinking about what he would say to Lisa the next day.

That was until Benny came up behind him and pushed him to the ground. Dean rolled onto his bag, cursing at the boy. Benny then climbed on top of him and punched him in the face.

Dean wasn't going to take it. He never did. So, he grabbed the younger boy and brought a knee up. It connected with Benny's balls, giving Dean the chance to push him off. Dean climbed to his feet, before punching Benny in the face and then kicking him in the side, making him stumble.

"I get that you're pissed about me and Cas, but I wouldn't start a fight with me," Dean warned, "I made it clear on the first day why I was expelled from my last school. I'm not afraid to do it again."

"Bring it." Benny wheezed out, laughing at Dean's demeanor. Dean couldn't help but rush at Benny, but wasn't expect the foot that he got to the stomach. Benny dropped to his back and threw Dean over him. Pain shot up Dean's back as he landed on the ground hard. His shoulder had cracked the ground, and he started to wonder whether it was fractured.

The delay from Dean meant that Benny could get back on top of Dean, this time not giving him a chance to kick him off. All Dean could do was try to block the punches as Benny threw them at him. Some of them connected with his face, while others were blocked with his arms.

"You're a fucking asshole," Benny shouted, "I should have known it was all a joke. You were messing with Cas' head and you're destroying him. He can't do anything anymore because of you."

Dean listened to everything that Benny spouted off. He took it for a few minutes, knowing the guy was just standing up for his friend. But finally something snapped in the elder boy. He managed to grab Benny's hands and change their positions so Dean was overpowering him. He punched Benny in the face hard, hearing the snap of a bone.

"I have my reasons," He said, before getting up. He grabbed his shoulder, wincing from the pain that shot up him. Some damage had definitely happened, "I suggest you get out of here before I do something you regret."

"Gonna put me in the hospital?" Benny asked with a laugh, "You'll be expelled out of here and I'll make sure you end up behind bars. I'm sure your parents will love you for that."

Dean glared at Benny and just shook his head. He wasn't going to get into that.

"I'm sure that girl you have back home will love you for it too," Benny made Dean stop by saying that, "Yeah, Cas told me that you'd been talking to your ex. You two get back together? Is that why you left Cas? You know, she'll find out your little secret. You can't hide from it."

"I'm not explaining myself to you." Dean shook his head, turning his back on Benny to walk away again.

"Why? Because you know how much of a bastard you are?"

Dean shook his head as he continued walking, "Because I don't need to. You might wanna get your nose checked out, by the way. I think I broke it for you."

Dean walked into class 10 minutes late, and instantly had people questioning what had happened. They really wanted to know why he was bleeding from his lip and had a bruise already forming on his cheek, but Dean refused to divulge names. Deep down, he knew Benny had a right. Dean had been an absolute jackass recently to Cas, and he deserved everything his ex-roommate's friends could dish out. He wasn't going to get any of them in trouble for that.

* * *

**Not only is Cas back but he got some sort of a backbone. Those who wanted to see that earlier, how do you feel seeing it now? It's not all going to be sunshine and roses for Dean and Cas yet but I do promise that their love story will go back to being a love story soon. Don't worry; it's not the end for them...at least not quite yet (mwahahaha).  
**

**Please R&amp;R, because I'd love to know what you thought.**


	22. Chapter 22

**Hi everyone! I'm sorry for my quietness over the last couple of days. It has been super busy for me, but I've tried to thank you all personally for your reviews. If I've missed anyone, I'm really sorry. Thank you so much for taking the time to favorite/follow/review.**

**Here's the next chapter. There's 10 left after this, and I can't wait to share them all with you.**

Chapter 22

Dean packed up his bag, ready to leave. Lisa would likely be expecting him soon, and it was a good two-hour drive from the school. He knew he should have packed the night before. He was going to as well, but then the boys wanted to have a party. For some reason, Cain and Dean's room had become party central so it made packing extremely difficult.

So, now he had 10 minutes to get everything in the car and get off the grounds or he was going to be late. He'd already pissed Mr. Braeden off enough. He needed to be on time to talk to Lisa today.

"Omudson, training now," Zach barked the order, as he walked into the room without even knocking. Dean glanced over at Cain, who had been chilling on his bed, with a smirk. The younger boy quickly jumped up from his bed and rushed out to get down to the locker room. Dean just laughed at Zach, who had a shit-eating grin on his face, "I love the perks of being captain."

"I can tell." Dean laughed. Things with him and Zach had been good over the last week. The more he realized that Zach was willing to keep secrets, the more Dean was willing to call him a friend. After all, someone who wasn't a friend would have blasted the teen pregnancy all over the school. Zach was clearly looking out for his teammate, and Dean wondered how many other secrets the guy was holding.

"So, we've got the championship game on Friday," Zach pointed out, "I wanted to run a couple of new plays by you. I think we could really take the title if we work together."

"Of course." Dean nodded his head, zipping up his duffel bag and throwing it on his shoulder.

"When will you be back Sunday?"

"When do you want me back?" Dean now asked. He had planned to spend some time with his parents, but this game was important to him and his teammates. Besides, he'd found out scouts from the University of Kansas were coming to watch him and Zach play. He needed to be on his best form. If Lisa wasn't interested in moving anywhere—or her dad was going to keep her in one place—Dean could consider the local college as an option. It was close to home, too, which would mean he'd be close to his own family if he needed help.

"Think you can get back for 4pm? We can run through the plays for a few hours then," Zach suggested, "I'll get Cain, Zeke and a few other key players in."

Dean nodded his head, "Sure. I was planning on getting back around then anyway."

As Dean started walking out of the room, Zach placed his hand on his arm, "Good luck with everything, man. Hopefully everything will work out for you."

Dean felt like there was another meaning behind that comment. It was almost like he meant it for the team as a whole, but Dean brushed the comment off and walked out of the school towards the car. He shouldn't really be thinking about football right now. He had a pregnant ex-girlfriend that he needed to talk things through with.

"Dean." A deep voice stopped him in his tracks. Dean shook his head with a labored sigh.

"Speedy, I really don't have the time for this."

"Yeah, well, you're gonna listen," Speedy stepped in the way of Dean, so he couldn't get into his car, "Benny may have failed to beat the crap outta ya, but I won't."

"Dude, I have got far more things to worry about than you making idle threats," Dean shook his head, "Now get off my fucking car before I put you in the gutter."

"You like making threats, too, huh?" Speedy laughed, "Make you feel big? What about breaking hearts? That make you feel big? I'm sure if we told Zach what you and Castiel had really been up to on a night and what really happened over your suspension, you wouldn't feel so big."

Dean scoffed and shook his head, a dangerous look growing in his forest green eyes, "Try it. Who d'ya think Zach will really believe? The teammate who's had his back on the field or the friend of a fag?"

He wasn't even sure where that last question came from, but he was going with it. It was already difficult enough to keep Cas at arm's reach, but it was necessary right now. Speedy didn't say a word, but did lock eyes with him.

"Now, get outta my way before I make ya. And trust me, you won't enjoy it." Dean warned, not moving but making it clear he was ready if he had to. Speedy took a few steps away from the door, so Dean could open his car door and throw his bag on the seat.

"I started to think you were a decent guy," Speedy said, making Dean close his eyes. He had to keep his back to the teenager right now, otherwise he'd see the true emotion coming through, "Guess you're a better actor than we thought. Maybe you should look at doing that instead of football."

Dean slammed the car door, clenching his eyes. It wasn't an act. He was a decent guy, and that was why he was doing this. It was the lesser of two evils. If only they could understand, but he would never tell anyone the full truth. Never.

Dean thought about defending himself, but then decided against it. Without going into the details, there was no defending himself. He just shook his head, walked around his car and got in. The two-hour drive coming up would help clear his head before he saw Lisa.

Those two hours went by much quicker than he would have liked. He'd no sooner started driving and he was seeing the signs for Lawrence. His palms felt sweaty and he could feel his AC/DC t-shirt clinging to him more than it had ever done in the past. Pulling at the neckline, Dean continued driving trying to think of things to say to Lisa. What was he meant to tell her? Apologize for getting her pregnant? No, it took both of them to do that. Apologize for not being there? Well, that wasn't completely his fault. His parents had decided boarding school instead of home schooling.

Maybe he would just apologize for feeling like she couldn't tell him at the Christmas party, but that would be a lie. He wouldn't have wanted to hear about it that night. He remembered why he ended up with Lisa that night. He'd felt guilty for the guy just moments earlier, and he needed to get the feeling of shame and disappointment off him. Finding out that she was three months pregnant with his kid at the time wouldn't have been something he wanted to hear about.

Sighing, he turned the corner to Lisa's grandmother's house and then looked up at the place. It was a small home. Two-bedroom, if Dean remember correctly. She'd moved there when her own kids left the nest and had kids of their own. Dean remembered coming over a couple of times over the last few years for Sunday dinner. She was a strict Catholic, like her son, but didn't push it down Dean's neck like her Mr. Braeden did.

Taking a deep breath, Dean stepped out of the Impala and made his way up the stone steps to the porch. Glancing over at the swing on the porch, Dean smiled. He remembered sitting there one night with Lisa. It had been after Sunday dinner, and her grandmother had spent time embarrassing her with a childhood story. Dean thought it was quite sweet, but Lisa rushed out at one point. He'd followed her to tell her how sweet he found it. It was the first time that Dean had felt some sort of connection to her, but it didn't last. It wasn't cool for him to have a steady girlfriend, and he made that clear to her the next day.

_You really are a jerk,_ Dean thought to himself. It was ridiculous looking back on it all now. It had only been last year, but he felt like it was a completely different person. Maybe it was the impending fatherhood or his relationship with Cas, but he hated himself for the way he used girls right now. He hated himself for the guy that he had once been.

"Well, don't just stand there, boy." Mrs. Braeden's shaky voice called out to him, snapping him out of his thoughts. He looked over to the door to see her frail frame. She was much frailer than he imagined, and it worried him a little. How could she help Lisa during the next few months?

He quickly grabbed the door, and helped Mrs. Braeden back into the house, "Such a gentleman, Dean."

"I try," Dean nodded his head, letting her take his arm as they walked into the living room, "It's good to see you again, Mrs. Braeden. Just a shame it is under the circumstances."

"Don't get me started on the circumstances, boy," she warned him as he helped her to his chair, "You and my granddaughter have some serious talking to do. I trust you both to do that in the kitchen."

"Can I get you a drink before I talk to her?" Dean offered, feeling a little out of place right now.

"I've got one already, Dean." Lisa's quiet voice called out from behind him. Dean snapped his head around, raising his eyebrows at her once curvy form. Jo had definitely been right about her looking like she was carrying twins. Her swollen belly was huge, and Dean couldn't help but feel the fear take hold. Lisa placed the glass of water on the table next to her grandmother's chair, and then motioned for Dean to follow her to the kitchen. Dean was still in shock, and the fear rooted him to the spot.

"Talk to her, Dean," Mrs. Braeden told him, "I'll take my nap so you don't need to worry about me listening in."

Finally, he walked through the house into the small kitchen. It was just big enough to hold a four-person table, which was currently pushed against the wall so only the two of them could sit down. Dean remembered regularly pulling it out for them when he would come over for dinner.

Lisa sat down, relief on her face. It already looked like the pregnancy was taking its toll on her. Her once bright brown eyes were dark. Bags were forming under her eyes, and there was some acne forming on her once perfect cheeks. The only positive was how full her luscious brown hair was—and yes, he was noticing her hair.

"Damn it. I forgot my own drink." Lisa cursed, about to stand up.

"Stay there, I'll get it." Dean shook his head and quickly worked his way around the kitchen. He grabbed her a glass of water, without even bothering to ask if that was what she wanted. She was grateful for it, though, as she rubbed her hands on her swollen belly. Dean looked down at it, fear taking hold again. He couldn't move for a few minutes, until Lisa started talking.

"I should have told you about this sooner," Lisa sighed, "I'm really sorry I didn't."

"Apart from that one night, it's not like I was easily accessible," Dean shrugged his shoulders, "hearing it over the phone wasn't exactly easy. I'd have preferred face to face."

Lisa nodded her head, and Dean finally sat down to talk to her. Leaning forward onto his knees, he took one of her hands in his, brushing his fingers over the back of it, "I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" Lisa laughed at him, "It took both of us, Deano."

Dean couldn't help but chuckle at her nickname for him. He hated people calling him Deano, including Lisa, but right now it sounded sweet.

"So, your dad...I guess he's really pissed."

"More than you know," Lisa nodded her head, "At least I got my phone back, so we can chat more regularly now. He decided that since you're actually going to be a part of this, you need to know. I think he's expecting you to marry me. It may be a genuine shotgun wedding."

Dean raised his eyebrows and smirked, "Shotgun held at you or me?"

"Maybe both."

The two chuckled at the comment. It all seemed to be so easy, but they'd completely avoided the elephant in the room. They were just talking around the big subject. Finally, Dean cleared his throat. It was time to get to the real reason he was here.

"Well, I'm still a little young for marriage," he laughed at himself for that, "I'm too young for this—we both are—but it's happened. What do you want to do about it? Do you want me to stay here and help you or..."

"My dad thinks I should give it up for adoption," Lisa admitted, "Maybe he's right. Like you said, we're too young for this."

Dean nodded his head, "My dad suggested the same thing. I told my parents by the way. Didn't want your dad getting to them first. I'm surprised he didn't tell them already."

"I never really confirmed you were the dad," Lisa admitted, "It wasn't your fault you weren't here to defend yourself. God, this is so messed up, Dean. I don't even know what to do. Adoption sounds like the right thing, but we don't know who will end up with our kid. What if it's some abusive dick?"

"And what if it's some angel?" Dean shrugged his shoulders, "You know, some millionaire that could give our kid the best start in life. A better one than we could ever dream of providing."

They looked into each other's eyes for a few moments, before Dean started speaking again. He pulled his hands away and paced, while he said everything that he'd been thinking about over the last few weeks.

"You know, I got offered a scholarship from San Francisco. All I gotta do is pass my S. and I'm in with a full-ride. I never even imagined college was possible for me. You know money is tight and I really think Sammy should be the one to go to college.

"If you'd have asked me a few months ago, I'd have said we could do it together. I'd go wherever you wanted and we'd keep it. I'd get a job and support us...but now..."

"You really wanna go to college." Lisa nodded her head.

"Yeah, I do," Dean nodded, "I wanna play football, Lise. It's something I'm good at. Something I love. But..."

"A kid will mess that up."

"Well, yeah but also," Dean rubbed the back of his neck as he paused, "I didn't want you raising my kid on your own. And I guessed you'd wanna stay here now, or maybe still move to New York like you'd always said."

"I haven't thought about New York for a while," Lisa said with a small smile playing on her lips, "But I don't think I could stay here with my dad. Once I turn 18, I...well...I want out, Dean. Even if I put our baby up for adoption, I want out. I need to get away from my parents. From all this."

Dean frowned. New York had always been her dream, and now she hadn't even thought about it. He felt guilty for that. Like it was all his fault. No, it didn't make sense, but it felt like it was his fault. Like he was the one who had solely caused their lives to end up in the mess that they currently were.

"I'm sorry for all this, Lise."

"Will you stop apologizing for this?" Lisa asked, pointing to her belly, "This is not all your fault. I said yes that night remember. Hell, I even said to forget about it that the rubber broke. It's my fault for not getting the emergency pill in time."

"You never took it?" Dean frowned, "But you said you had. That you'd done it in time."

"I didn't want you panicking or getting angry," Lisa admitted, "You know your anger has always made me feel uneasy. And when I saw what you did to Michael, well...by the way, you know he's spouting some shit about you being gay. He said he saw you in Topeka a few weeks ago kissing some guy. He had some interesting bruises on his face, too."

"Really?" Dean asked, nerves getting the best of him as he ran his hands through his hair, "You know the boarding school doesn't just let us take a trip out when we want. I got out the day after you told me about this to talk to my parents, but that was it."

"It was before this," Lisa laughed, "No-one believes it. Well, none of your friends do. Michael's buddies are dicks. You know what Balthazar is like. He's spouting some tale now about how you tried to sleep with him at some party."

Dean couldn't help but roll his eyes at that. At least there was no truth to that one, and nobody believed the 'rumors.'

"Well, they are dicks," Dean shrugged his shoulders, "Guess Michael's still sore about being hospitalized."

"Yeah, well, what you did to him...Can you figure out why I didn't want to tell you about not taking the pill in time."

"You know I'd never hurt you, right?" Dean frowned, "After..."

"I know," Lisa nodded, "You're not a wife beater, Dean. I never once thought that. I just didn't want you hurting yourself or some...well...I know you still have connections and didn't want you going back to them when you should be keeping yourself out of trouble."

"Yeah, you know I saw Jody when I was in town the other week," Dean laughed, "She made some crack about me being on the right side of the jail cells."

Lisa rolled her eyes with a small smile. Their conversation as back to the easy, care-free one. But this wasn't why Dean was here, and they both knew it. A silence fell between them, and Dean knew that he had to move on. He needed to get back onto the topic that he was supposed to talk to Lisa about.

"So, back to our situation," Dean sighed, "I was thinking that if you wanted to keep it, maybe, well maybe you could come to San Francisco with me? It might not be..."

"Yes!" Lisa jumped up from her seat and rushed over to Dean, "Yes, I'd do that."

Lisa suddenly backed away, tucking her brown hair behind her ear and turning her back on her ex-boyfriend, "That's if you really want that. I don't want to pressure you into this."

"And I don't want to pressure you into anything," Dean shook his head, "It wouldn't be easy, you know. Being away from everyone. And it might not be necessary. I might get a scholarship for U of K. We'd be close to my parents and everything. Or we..."

"We go with the adoption plan." Lisa nodded her head. They looked into each other's eyes again. It was like silently they were both agreeing on this. They could come up with so many other options, but deep down they both knew that this was the best option for all parties involved.

"What would happen to us if we opted for adoption?" Lisa now asked, "Would that be it? We go back to not talking again? You fuck me at the next party you see me at?"

"Or we stay friends," Dean shrugged his shoulders, "I've gotta be honest. I'm not in the place to have a relationship. A lot has happened over the last few months, and I really need to clear my head."

Lisa nodded her head with a deep sigh. Would that be something that would stop her going through with adoption? Dean couldn't bare that if it was the case. He didn't want her giving up her life in the hope that a kid would keep them together—or bring them back together.

"Hey, look, winter break is in two weeks. How about we chat more then? We don't have to settle on a decision right now, right?"

Lisa looked up with a smile, "That sounds perfect."

"I'll call, you call. We'll talk about things," Dean shrugged his shoulders, "And we'll work this out. We have some time so we don't need to rush into a decision right now."

Dean stuck around for a little longer after that, but made it clear that he needed to see his parents. It was time to talk things through with them and get their advice on this whole matter. Yes, he did had suggested adoption, but were there other realistic options available to them. His parents were the best people to talk to about this.

"Dean!" Voices echoed as he walked through the front door. He was instantly attacked by two smaller children.

"Hey you two," Dean chuckled, "Makes a change for you not to be in the books or playing your video games."

"Mom took my game off me," Charlie pouted, "She's so mean."

"You were told to share, Charlie!" Mary shouted out as she walked in from the kitchen with a soft smile on her face for her eldest son. The two embraced in a tight hug; one that meant so much more for Dean right now. It was like he was clinging onto some type of lifeline. He couldn't help but think back to when he was a kid and his mom's hugs made everything better. If only they could do the same right now.

"Is Sammy home?" Dean now asked, ruffling Adam's blonde hair as he kept his tight grip on the eldest Winchester brother.

"He's in his room," Mary rolled her eyes, "Says he's got an essay due that just couldn't wait."

"Sounds like my genius brother," Dean grinned and looked down at Adam, "Hey, am I allowed to say hi to Sammy?"

"You'll come back down, right?" Adam asked with a frown, "And you're staying tonight."

"I'm staying tonight, yeah," Dean nodded, "Hey, let me say hi to Sammy and later I'll play any game you want."

Adam grinned and then ran off, it just left him with Charlie and his mom, "You two, munchkin."

Charlie grinned and ran off with her brother, leaving Dean to hug his mom again. He hugged her with so much force that he nearly knocked her off her feet. In fact, if he hadn't been holding her at the time, she may have ended up on the floor.

"I've missed you, Mom." He said, not really want to let go.

"Oh sweetheart, it will work out," Mary soothed, running her hands down his back gently, "Your dad will be home soon and we'll all sit down and talk about this. You can tell us what Lisa has said. Now go up and say hello to your brother. I know he's been excited to see you."

Dean grinned and rushed up the stairs to the bedroom Sam and Adam shared. He rapped his knuckles on the door, before opening it up.

"Honey, I'm home." Dean chuckled, making Sam jump from where he sat on his bed. It was only then that Dean realized Sam had a set of headphones in his ears, listening to music off his laptop. Sam quickly shut the laptop lid down, making Dean raise his eyebrows. What had his little brother really been up to?

"Dean!" Sammy looked red faced as Dean walked into the room, closing the bedroom door behind him, "I wasn't expecting you...why didn't you knock?"

"I did knock, Sammy," Dean grinned, "What were you really up to? Mom thinks some school work. Don't tell me you're watching dirty videos."

Sam's face was like a beetroot by the time Dean finished his sentence, and he couldn't help but start laughing. His little brother had been caught watching porn.

"Well, that is not something I actually expected," Dean couldn't help but laugh as he ruffled his brother's dark brown hair. He then sat on Adam's bed, deciding it was a safe enough distance away from the middle Winchester brother, "I really expected you to be doing some school work. What if mom walked in?"

"Like she'd have known," Sam rolled his eyes, "Did you finish with Lisa already?"

"Sort of," Dean shrugged his shoulders, "We're gonna talk more at winter break."

Sam nodded his head with a pensive frown, "I can't believe I'm gonna be an uncle already. I guessed you'd be the first of us all to have kids, but I thought you were at least being safe."

"I was," Dean nodded his head, "I don't really wanna go into that right now, though. Can I just have a few minutes where I don't think about an unborn kid of mine and how it's messed up everything good that was going on. And before you say it, yes I know that it's half my fault and I'm not blaming the unborn kid. I'm just angry at the whole fucked up situation."

Sam just raised his eyebrows, clearly surprised at his big brother's maturity at the situation, "So, you and Cas."

"I don't wanna talk about that, either."

"What did you do, Dean?" Sam asked with a sigh. Dean was about to argue back, but he was quickly cut off, "I know you. You do something stupid and then you fuck up enough to make it worse. He hates you right now, doesn't he? I'm sure you had the best intentions in the world, Dean, but you can be a real jerk."

"It's the lesser of two evils, Sammy," Dean sighed, finally having someone to talk to about all this, "I don't want him to feel like he needs to choose between a family with me or an actual life."

"So you broke up with him." Sam nodded his head. It definitely wasn't a question, but Dean confirmed his little brother's suspicions, anyway. Sam's brow furrowed again, as he mumbled something about it being typical Dean behavior. Dean wanted to argue, but he knew that it was. This wasn't the first time he'd been a jerk to someone to end the relationship, and kept making it worse to make him seem like an absolute ass. The difference was this time there was a genuinely good reason. He couldn't pull Cas into all this.

"You know, I liked what that guy was doing to you," Sam pointed out, "You seemed happy Dean. Like you'd finally found someone to make you feel something."

"Yeah, well, things change." Dean shrugged his shoulders. Realizing that he wasn't going to get through to his big brother, Sam stopped the conversation and reached into his drawer instead.

"Here, you might want this." He said, throwing a small brown envelope to Dean. It landed on the floor in between the beds, and the elder Winchester couldn't help but chuckle at the poor throw. Sam was a genius, but he sucked when it came to sports. He would definitely have to rely on his brains to get into college.

Picking up the letter, Dean grinned to see the boarding school emblem on it. It was addressed to his parents, and Dean knew exactly what it was, but he opened it just in case. He just needed to make sure. True enough, it was a letter about Dean's suspension and the reasons for that suspension. He'd hide that in his bag, so he could get it back to the school and destroy all evidence that he'd been suspended.

"You heard the rumors that Michael's been spouting?" Sam asked, "Did he see you during your suspension?"

"Erm, yeah," Dean could be honest with his brother. The conversation with Lisa played in his mind, and it felt good to finally give his side of the story, "He saw me kissing Cas and couldn't help shout his mouth off. I shut him up pretty quick, but guess that hasn't stopped him talking."

"No-one believes him," Sam shook his head, "Well, except me and Jo. But we know the truth."

Dean nodded his head, "I heard Balthazar decided to make the rumors sound worse."

"Ha, yeah!" Sam chuckled, just as Mary's voice called for Dean and Sam to get downstairs, "He just made himself look like the ass that he is. I really hate the British."

The rest of the weekend wasn't as bad as Dean thought it was going to be. Dinner had been quite easy. Mary and John refused to bring up the subject of Lisa's pregnancy in front of Adam and Charlie. They didn't know anything, mainly at Dean's request. They needed to work out what they were doing about the baby before the younger siblings found out about it. It wouldn't be fair to say they were going to be and aunt and uncle if he and Lisa were going to put the baby up for adoption. It made more sense to keep them in the dark for now.

When it did come to discussing the pregnancy, John kept his stance that adoption would be the best route to go. However, they had a civil conversation about it. There were no arguments, and Dean's parents listened to all the options he'd come up with. Dean never heard it, but he could see that his mother was proud of him. Despite the situation, Dean was proving himself to be a mature teenager. He could quite easily run away from all this, but he was trying to take responsibility while trying not to mess up his future. What he did leave out was the boy back at school that he had left heartbroken because of all this mess. The last thing they needed to hear was that he was bisexual as well as going to be a teenager dad.

That night, Jo had called over to see her best friend. Rather than talk about Dean's mistake, they talked about Jo and her home life. It was a grateful distraction, even though it was Jo having to go through how much of an ass her step-dad was being to her. He'd heard all about Lisa's pregnancy and how Dean was the dad, and she'd been banned completely from seeing her best friend. Like that was going to stop her.

Saturday soon came to an end, and Sunday rolled in. It was soon time for Dean to get back to school and deal with everything from a distance again. Talking to Lisa had certainly helped, though. He'd been able to listen to her thoughts and he realized that his life maybe wasn't as dire as it sounded. The training session that he walked straight into at school helped him take his mind off things temporarily, and then there was the study. He needed to make sure he aced his S. .

This was one of the downsides of not having Cas as a roommate. He had no-one to turn to for help with his math right now. That was the subject he really needed help with. He'd have to see about tutoring sessions to make sure he aced his exams in a couple of months.

As he thought about his exams, he couldn't help but think about Castiel. He'd tried to push his ex-roommate out of his head but there was always a reason for his thoughts to come back to him. He missed sharing a room with him. Cain wasn't that bad, but he wasn't Cas. Dean missed the touches, the kisses, just everything about Castiel.

_You sound like a chick_, Dean thought to himself, tapping the pen on the desk while staring at the math question. He was like a love-struck teenager—one of the girls he always laughed at in his previous schools. As much as he should have felt embarrassed, he didn't. He just didn't care, because that was just how much he missed Castiel.

But he'd messed everything up with Castiel. Sam had made a clear point that Dean did this all the time. He would take something good and turn it bad, and then keep messing it up so there was no turning bad. It was like some sadistic nature that he had, and he knew deep down that if he continued down this path he would screw everything up.

The only thing he kept coming back to was that he needed to protect Castiel from his mess. He needed to make sure the guy had the choice to live his life without feeling an obligation to be with him.

"_Who says he'd feel obligated?" Jo asked him as she sat on Dean's bed, Indian style. They were snacking on potato chips while watching a movie—one they'd seen so many times, they could recite it all, "He could decide that what you've been doing is best for him. He could decide that friends is better than nothing. You've not really given him that choice."_

"_I have." Dean nodded, but he knew that he was lying. Jo quickly called him out on it, telling him the exact same as Sam had earlier in the day. Dean had a pattern, and they all knew it._

"_Talk to him about it," Jo sighed, "The guy said he loves you, so he wants to know. I think a part of you loves him too, Dean. You're just afraid to admit it."_

"_I'm not afraid," Dean shook his head, "I just don't really know what love is. I've never felt that way for anyone, except my family and you..."_

"_Aww, shucks." Jo brushed him off, sarcastically. He glared at her, as he continued opening up to her._

"_I'm serious, Jo. I've never felt that way. I don't know if I do," Dean sighed, "All I know is that I hate doing what I am doing, but it's for the best."_

"_For you or him?" Jo asked, "He deserves to know the truth. When you get back to school tomorrow, you better tell him. If you don't, I'm gonna come see you and kick your ass. And I know you won't fight me back. You don't hit girls."_

Dean sighed and picked up his cell phone. It was still quite early. Maybe Cas would be in his room still. He really hoped that Cas was alone, and not with one of his friends. He didn't want everyone knowing the truth. Jo was right, though. Cas deserved to know the truth and it was time to tell him right now.

Deciding to knock on the door, Dean waited with hope that Cas was there and alone. When Castiel opened the door, he breathed a sigh of relief.

"Hey."

"Fuck off, Dean." Castiel slammed the door in Dean's face. Well, that wasn't the way he expected that to go.

* * *

**I enjoy having the scenes with Sam and Jo calling Dean out on the jerk that he is. Sometimes I think someone needs that just to realize that what they're doing isn't always the best. I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter though...  
**


	23. Chapter 23

**I know some of you don't like it when Cas isn't in a chapter. I wish I could have them both in all chapters but it just doesn't work out that way. Castiel fans will be happy to know that he is in every single chapter of the sequel to this :) Dean isn't in every single chapter of that because it's all from Castiel's point of view. I'm still working on it though and still have nine chapters of this one left after this chapter.**

**Castiel is in this chapter though, so I hope you enjoy it.**

**Thanks again for the support for this story.**

Chapter 23

Dean knocked on the door again, hoping this time to at least get into the room to discuss things with Cas. Or had he already destroyed things so much by being a complete ass? Had he already done everything his brother called him out on?

Castiel didn't answer the door this time, but Dean wasn't going to wait. Taking a breath, he walked into the room to see Castiel and Garth in the room together. They looked to be doing more than talking, and Dean instantly started apologizing and backing out of the room. But then he stopped. No, he wasn't going to apologize for trying to make up with him; for deciding to tell him the truth.

"What the fuck do you want, Dean?" Garth sounded frustrated, as if Dean was cock-blocking him. Inwardly, he grinned to himself. That was exactly what he was trying to do right now. He wanted to talk to Cas.

"I need to talk to Cas. Alone."

"Well, he doesn't want to talk to you. Maybe you should listen to that." Garth shrugged his shoulders.

"Don't make me throw you out of here." Dean warned him, clearly showing that he was the jerk that everyone kept telling him he was. Castiel stood up at that, pushing Dean backwards.

"I'll be the one throwing you out of here," Cas warned him, "This is my room. Not yours. Not anymore. You got yourself a new roommate. You know, one that wasn't a fag?"

"Cas..." Dean sighed, hearing his own words coming back to bite him in the ass, "I really need to talk to you, please. I want to explain."

"Well, you can explain to both of us," Cas shrugged his shoulders, "It's not like it will matter anyway. You're still a royal jackass who loves to toy with other people's feelings. I'm sure your ex-girlfriend knows just how I feel. How much did you toy with her over the weekend? And what about that cheerleader, Cassie is it?"

"Cas..." Dean sighed again.

"Well, glad to hear you know my name. Don't you have anything else to say?"

Dean glared into Castiel's mesmerizing blue eyes and then looked down at his lips. He just wanted to kiss him hard and passionately to show him just how sorry he was; just how much of a jerk he knew he had been. But there was a reason. A good reason. With a deep sigh, he looked over at Garth, pleading through his green eyes.

"Can I please have five minutes alone with him?"

Garth seemed to see the sincerity in Dean's eyes and finally nodded his head, "Do not waste this chance, Dean. You have five minutes."

"Thank you." Dean nodded, opening the door for Garth to leave. He then closed the door behind him and turned his attention back to Castiel. The older boy's expression hadn't changed at all. There was so much hatred and anger in those beautiful blue eyes. Dean had really done a number this time. He couldn't really remember any girl looking at him like that.

"You know, the last person to look at me like that, I got laid." Dean tried to make a joke, but it wasn't a laughing matter. He just really wanted to see that smile again, or at least the love in his former roommate's eyes.

"Just talk, Dean," Cas sighed, "Garth will come back in five minutes."

"Yeah, erm, well, I wanted to apologize," Dean rubbed the back of his neck, "For everything that I've done. I've been a jerk and my brother called me out on it. I shouldn't have acted the way I did."

"No, you shouldn't. And I'm not interested in your apologies. You've had plenty of time to do that."

"Please, just hear me out, Cas," Dean put his hands up to cut the older boy off, "There was a reason behind my jackass behavior. I don't just act that way for fun. I...well...you remember that phone call from Jo a few weeks ago? The one that led to all this."

"I can't forget it, Dean," Cas sighed, "It was the night you broke up with me, remember?"

"Yeah, well, it wasn't good news. I'm sure you, uh, guessed that," Dean ran his hand through his blonde locks again, before continuing. Damn it, why was he so nervous? When did his hands start shaking so much? "She, erm, she had news that I had no idea about. No-one did and it really took me by surprise. My ex, Lisa, well, it turns out that she's...damn it, how do I say this."

Dean started pacing the floor, not looking at Cas once. If he did, he would have seen Castiel's brow furrow, confusion replace the anger in his blue eyes.

"Dean, just tell me. What happened? Is there something wrong at home? Is that why you went home this weekend?"

"Erm, yeah it's why I went home," Dean nodded, "Lisa's...she's pregnant, okay? With my kid."

Dean went silent and he finally looked at Castiel. The confusion was not slowly being replaced with recognition and then surprise. Cas' eyes widened, as his hand went up to his mouth.

"That's why..." Cas started speaking, "Oh God!"

"I wanted to keep you out of it," Dean quickly explained, "I don't want you dragged into all this. It's not fair on you."

"You didn't think I deserved to have that choice?"

Dean closed his eyes, laughing at himself. Jo had been right. He did deserve that choice, and Dean should have given him it from the start. But being the usual stupid ass that he was, he had decided to make a decision for someone else.

"I didn't even know what I was going to do about it, Cas," Dean admitted, "I had no idea at all. I've only just really talked to Lise about it. We still don't really know."

"Wait, how far along?" Cas now asked.

"Almost six months, now," Dean swallowed hard, "It's too late for an abortion, but neither of us would have agreed to that anyway. We're thinking adoption right now, but...well, we're not sure. I just didn't want you to have to choose."

"You're an ass." Castiel pointed out, making Dean raise his eyebrows. Yes, they had agreed on that before, but now what was he being called an ass for?

"Sorry?"

"You should have given me the choice," Castiel shouted, "Damn it, Dean, don't you get it that taking the choice from me was the biggest, dickish thing you could have done? And don't even think about trying to tell me you were protecting me or were looking out for my future. You were just being an ass trying to control the situation. Well, guess what, I could have probably helped you over the last few weeks.

"You don't think I've seen how much you're struggling? Your head hasn't really been in the football—yes, I've been watching your training. You're failing in school—yeah, I saw your last test. Your head has been so out of things, and you needed a friend. I could have been that if you'd have just given me a fucking chance. You're an idiot and you don't even deserve me right now."

"I know," Dean nodded his head, and he started walking to the door. Cas had turned his back on Dean, so he wouldn't see the sad, apologetic look in his forest green eyes but it didn't stop Dean throwing them his way. He opened the door, not surprised to see Garth waiting on the other side, "He's all yours."

With that, Dean left. He didn't even listen out to hear if Castiel was going to stop him. He wouldn't do. Dean didn't deserve Castiel after the way he'd been acting over the last month or so.

* * *

Two weeks went by, and Dean found himself struggling with his math again. The SATs. were just around the corner, and Dean needed to pass. While things hadn't quite been worked out with Lisa, he wasn't going to throw the idea of college away. There was a chance Lisa would move with him. He could go to college, work nights and raise a kid. He wouldn't be the first high school student to do it. He'd seen _One Tree Hill_—not that he'd admit that to anyone other than Jo.

Leaning back in the chair, Dean groaned at the question. Why the hell couldn't math make sense? It was supposed to be logical.

The sound of the door closing caught his attention, but Dean didn't look up. Cain had probably forgotten something for his own studies. He'd decided to join some of the other football team in one of the classroom for study time.

"You're an idiot and you don't deserve me," Castiel's voice now caught his attention. Brow furrowing, Dean turned around in his chair to see his former roommate standing in the room. He looked nervous and like he hadn't slept much. Dean hadn't seen Castiel around the school much, and it was a good thing really. It helped Dean focus on all the other stuff going on in his head, "You definitely don't deserve me coming here to tell you all this."

"Tell me all what?" Dean asked.

"I love you," he blurted out, "No matter how much of a jerk you are, I love you. You should have told me about your ex and the baby. You should have given me the choice."

"I know, and I'm sorry I didn't..." Dean started, but he was cut off by Castiel.

"I hate you for the way you treated me. You broke my heart. I couldn't figure out what I did or whether you were playing me this whole time. Now that I've had some time to think about it, I get it. I get why you didn't tell me but you didn't have to act the way you did."

"I just didn't want you being pulled into all this," Dean sighed, rubbing the back of his neck as he stood from his chair, "I wasn't going to tell you but Sam and Jo knocked some sense into me. Made it clear that you do need to know this. You deserve the truth, Cas."

The two stood in silence for a while. The hurt in Castiel's eyes was clear and Dean knew that he had caused this.

"I told you I'd hurt you, though," Dean shrugged his shoulders, "It's just what I do. I guess I am like..." He stopped with a frown, refusing to continue. Castiel caught it, though. His brow furrowed further, as he tried to work out the end of that sentence.

"Like what?"

Dean shook his head. He wasn't going to go into that part of his life; not right now. That just frustrated Castiel even more. With a growl, the shorter boy threw up his hands and walked to the door.

"Let me know when you wanna be a man and open up about that crap in your head. I may hate you right now, but I also still love you and I wanna help you."

With that, Castiel left the room. Dean was back with his own thoughts. Things hadn't been completely ruined with Castiel. There was a chance that they could fix things—that Dean could fix things. But did he really want things to be fixed?

* * *

**Castiel is definitely not just going to give into Dean this time, but I had to get his feelings out there. What he had to say to Dean was important. I'd love to know what you think of this chapter. Can things really be fixed after all this? Please R&amp;R  
**


	24. Chapter 24

**Thank you again for all those who have reviewed/followed/favorited this story. I love that new people are still finding it and I hope you are all enjoying it as much as I've enjoyed writing it.**

**This is a fairly long chapter (compared to more recent chapters) and another fan favorite character is making an appearance in this one. There's a bit more of Dean's backstory and Castiel will definitely make an appearance. It's time to see where this relationship can go from here...**

Chapter 24

It was game night. The big game. The whole school was in attendance, and Dean could feel the pressure. The whole team could feel it.

Zach had been down their throats the whole week during practice. This was a major deal. It wasn't going to be some easy game like some of them in the past had been. The opposition team wanted it just as much as they did. They wanted to catch the attention of the scouts, just as much as Dean and Zach wanted.

But they were ready. Dean was ready for this. The whole team was after the week of training. They'd run through their new plays, and they know they would succeed as long as they all kept their nerves and their heads in the game.

Dean knew that was going to be easy. So, Dean's head was now clearly in the game. He was focused on helping his team win this. They were going to show off everything they had, and Dean was going to have the choice of colleges; something he never thought possible.

The only downside to the night's game was the opposition team. Dean hadn't really paid much attention to the name of the school until it ran up to the game. It was a team that he'd played on in the past. Free State High School was the second school he'd been expelled from, and they were playing against them in the final. He even remembered some of the players on the team—and they knew all about him.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't Squirrel!" A familiar voice called out to him as they all warmed up on the field. The rival school took one half of the field, while their team took the other half. Dean couldn't help but turn to face the boy that had called out to him, "Never thought I'd see the day you were at an all boy's school."

"Not much choice, Crowley," Dean shrugged his shoulders, "Never thought I'd see you on the team. Thought you were a soccer fan."

"Turns out I'm good at throwing balls," Crowley grinned with his thick English accent, "Hear I'm not the only one good at playing with balls. News travels fast when it's about the legendary Dean Winchester. Your stint in juvy give you a taste for taking it up the ass?"

"You heard the rumors Jennings has been spreading," Dean laughed, glancing behind him as Zach and Cain walked over to him. A few of his other teammates joined him while the two former classmates talked. Dean would not class Crowley as a friend. The guy was a douche and the sole reason for his time in juvy, "Seems he just can't stand taking a beating or two. Don't think you'll wanna find out what that's like, do you, pretty boy?"

"Aww, you think I'm pretty, Squirrel?" Crowley laughed, glancing at Dean's teammates with a cocky smile, "You wouldn't be able to handle me. How has your stamina improved, anyway? You better at running now, or do people still catch up to you."

"You trapped me and you know it," Dean glared, "I will make you pay for that, by the way. I'm just biding my time. Maybe you'll pay on the field."

Zach finally got in between the two of them when the testosterone was getting two high, "Winchester, with me. Now."

"You better do as your boy here tells you," Crowley laughed, "Wouldn't want to make him angry. He'd leave you red raw by the looks of things." Dean took in a deep breath trying to control himself as Crowley just laughed and walked away. Zach and Cain pulled Dean backwards, so he could join the rest of the team.

"What was that about?" Cain asked, glancing over his shoulder to make sure Crowley really was walking away.

"I went to school with him," Dean explained, "The second school I was expelled from. He's a dick." Dean didn't want to go into it. It was part of his life that he was now trying to put behind him. He never really knew why he even bothered getting into trouble in the first place. Part of him said he was just being a rebellious teenager, but there was no need to be rebellious. There was more to it, and impressing people like Crowley was part of that reason. He'd grown out of that now, though, and was staying on the right side of the authorities.

"Well, let's beat the crap outta him." Cain grinned and ran forward with the rest of the team to warm up. It left Zach to discuss a few things with Dean.

"You okay?"

"I'll be fine," Dean nodded, "Just let's beat them. No dirty tactics. We win fair and square."

"Good man." Zach grinned.

At the coin toss, Free State was offending first, meaning Dean was on the bench for a while. He didn't mind, though. He got the chance to assess the team properly and discuss a few things over with Zach. They would need to make sure they saved a few of their new plays.

Crowley suddenly caught the ball and was running down the field. He was quick. Being one of the shortest players, he was also a slippery bugger. Just as he was about to get to the end zone, one of the St. Benedict's defenders came in and ran Crowley out of play. It was a close one, and they'd only just started. The coach was already looking at options to make sure the bastard didn't get the ball again, while Dean and Zach continued to talk tactics. If their offensive was so good, they worried about how good the defensive was. They'd really need to work together.

Free State scored a touchdown, making their side of the field cheer. It was okay. Only four minutes of the first quarter had gone. There was still time for St. Benedict's to pull it back, and they would. Dean was determined to make sure they well and truly destroyed his old high school.

At the first snap, Zach passed the ball to Dean and he ran straight through the middle. This was just a test to strength for the defensive line. It turned out they were strong, but not that strong. Dean made it through six yards before he was pulled down by the others. The second play involved Dean again, where he ran around the side, but was tackled to the ground by two of the defensive line just over the initial 10 yard mark. At least they were back to their first down.

After that, Zach decided to use his receivers a couple of time. They could test just how great their interception skills were. It turned out not great at all. Cain caught the ball and ran to score a touchdown, making the school cheer like crazy. Dean glanced over and saw the girls from the sister school jumping up and down. He then looked over to the bleachers to see Cas standing there with a smile on his face.

That instantly made Dean's heart stop. Despite hating him right now, Cas was here supporting him. The boy who hated football was here to support Dean Winchester during the final game of the season. The downside was Cas' friends were there, and they clearly weren't interested in the game. Dean had wondered why they even came in the first place, but something told him it was to protect Cas should something happen.

The rest of the game was nail-biting for all. The two teams were closely matched, not letting many touchdowns through after that. There were a couple of field goals and a couple of safeties but that was really it. It all came down to the last three minutes, and Crowley was back with his offensive on the field. Dean could just watch and hope that the team intercepted the ball.

They were so close to the end zone. Dean believed it was going to be over. If Crowley's team scored a touchdown now, there was no chance they would be able to pull it back. Not a chance at all. They were already four points behind. They would need two touchdowns to pull that off, and it was unlikely. Somehow they needed an interception.

Dean glanced over at his captain to see Zach with his head down. He couldn't watch it and Dean wasn't sure whether he could either. Cain was next to Dean, tapping his foot nervously as he watched the teams line up ready for their play.

That was when it happened. One of the players snapped the ball to the quarterback, and he searched the field. He suddenly threw the ball to Crowley, who was standing in the end zone. Dean wasn't sure how it happened, but one of their defenders was there first. He grabbed the ball and managed to run it out of the end zone and seven yards out before the other team took him down. Dean and Cain jumped up off the bench, cheering as they realized they had turned it over. Now they had the ball, and it was time to focus on getting a final touchdown. They had the time, but they would need to put their new plays in motion. It would take something special to get them down the field in time.

Zach wasted no time in getting the group together, while the other team started pushing Crowley around for messing up. Dean couldn't help but chuckle at the situation, as he got ready for his new play. Zach shouted out the numbers and he knew that it was going to be up to Cain first. The play went as expected. Cain managed to run the ball almost 20 yards to get it up the field. It was a good run, until he was taken down by someone almost twice his size.

Dean winced as his teammate went down, but Cain soon got back on his feet. They need to move quickly to make sure they kept getting down the field. Zach decided to use the same play to get Cain the ball and get them further down the field. Surely the other team wouldn't expect them to use the same play twice in a row.

Luckily, they didn't but they weren't as slow as the first time. Cain barely got the 20 yards again, but at least they were almost into their own half. Zach could rely on his star running back, along with a couple other receivers. In fact, the next play, Zach relied on Raphael, who had managed to get almost to the end zone before being taken out. It was now time for Dean and Uriel to show their skills.

It was at their third down that Dean knew they would have to pull out some stops. As he jogged past Zach, he suggested one of the more questionable plays. The aim was to confuse the other team. Zach went with it. If they needed to, they would take the field goal after and then get some extra time to beat the team.

Zach shouted and the ball snapped to him. As the exact same time—something that they'd struggled to pull off in practice—Uriel and Dean ran towards Zach. It looked like both had taken the ball, but also looked like Zach had kept hold of it. All three ran as if they had the ball, confusing the other team.

Dean dodged two of the players when he was finally spotted as the one with the football. He twisted around a third player before being tackled. He just had to keep running. He couldn't stop the momentum now; wouldn't let one player take him down. The next he knew, there were three players on top of him and he just had time to get over the line and get the ball over. He'd scored the final touchdown; the one that the team desperately needed.

As the ref blew the whistle to say that the ball had crossed the line, the whole team cheered. The cheerleaders screamed, as everyone on their side of the bleachers jumped up and down hugging each other. They had one the championships and it was all because of Dean.

"So, how's our star running back," Cassie grinned as Dean rushed past her for the showers, "Maybe you and me..." Dean couldn't help but stop, and he glanced over at the bleachers. Castiel and Benny were there watching them.

"Sorry, Cassie," Dean shook his head, looking back at Cassie, "I'm kinda seeing someone else."

Cassie's dark eyes flashed with hurt and disgust, "Well, she's not here." She leaned in to kiss Dean, but he stopped her. He wasn't going to do this. Even if he wasn't with Castiel right now, he was at least going to prove that he could be a good guy. He wasn't always the jerk he'd been labelled as. Cassie got the hint, and was visibly shocked and hurt that he stopped her.

"Fine!" She stormed off, joining the remaining cheerleaders, who hadn't hooked up with any of the football players. Dean couldn't help but glance back at the bleachers again, but Cas and Benny were walking away. Had they even seen Dean do all that?

The team were celebrating in the locker room. Of course they were. Dean wanted to celebrate, too. There were plans to party in Raphael and Uriel's room, but Dean wanted to celebrate with someone else. He wanted to enjoy this moment; the feeling of being a teenager with no responsibilities with someone who mattered the most to him.

He'd blown Cassie off and not because of Lisa. Sure, Lisa's pregnancy was seriously playing on his mind and he didn't really want to risk that with another girl, but he'd blown her off for Castiel. It hadn't all be for show. Not at all.

But Castiel and Benny had clearly just seen it as something for show. That's why they'd left, and Dean couldn't help but kick himself for the way he felt because of that. He'd been the one that had messed up his chance with Cas in the first place. If he hadn't been a jerk, none of this would have happened. He knew that, and he hated himself for that.

"You played well out there," Castiel spoke up as Dean left the locker room and walked into the school corridor. He stopped, with a frown, turning to see that Castiel was really there and he was alone, "I guess there really wasn't any reason for me to worry while you were on the field getting beaten like crazy."

"Can't keep me down, Cas." Dean shrugged his shoulders. It had been two weeks since they had last spoke; since Castiel had walked into his room to air some more of his feelings and then left. Dean had barely seen the boy around school, but that didn't stop him from thinking about him.

"How about keep you away?" Castiel asked, tilting his head to one side, "What do you say you swing by my room later tonight. That is if you're not partying too hard."

Dean frowned. Why would Castiel want him to swing by his room? Part of him felt nervous, as if Castiel was now playing a prank on him.

"I'm...erm..." Dean stuttered, just as Zach and Cain walked out of the locker room. The two newcomers glanced at Castiel and then at Dean a few times, before raising their eyebrows.

"What do you want, fag?" Zach asked, screwing his nose up, "Our boy doesn't swing your way."

_Oh if only you really knew_, Dean sighed to himself, as he looked between Castiel, Zach and Cain. His two teammates pulled him along the corridor, before Dean could even confirm or reject Castiel's request to meet him later. Part of him was relieved. He wasn't even sure if he wanted to risk falling into a trap.

By the time they reached Dean and Cain's room, Dean's phone had bleeped a few times to tell him he had text messages. One issue with the locker room was that they never seemed to get any signal. Uriel had often joked that it was coach's way of making sure they kept their heads in the game during halftime.

Checking his phone, he realized that one of the messages was from Cas.

_Please come. We need to talk about a few things. You owe me this._

_Castiel_

Dean sighed at the way Cas signed the text. He wasn't angry anymore. Dean could tell that. Signing it with his full name just meant that he no longer cared—no longer loved him. Maybe that would make things easier. It would mean Castiel didn't need to make a choice and Dean could continue with whatever plans he had with Lisa; not that there were many plans. There was two months of the pregnancy left—or there abouts—and they still hadn't made a decision. It was a horrible situation to be in, but they just couldn't opt for adoption when there was no guarantee their kid would get a better life.

_I'll be over later._

_Dean_

He quickly replied, before throwing his phone on the bed with his bag.

"So, Raph's and Uriel's room," Cain grinned, looking over at his roommate, "We seriously have some celebrating to do. You my man are getting the first drink for that awesome touchdown."

"Hey, if it wasn't for your runs, I wouldn't have been able to get the touchdown," Dean pointed out, hearing his phone bleep again, "It's all about teamwork."

"Your girlfriend texting you?" Cain asked, "I didn't even know you had one until tonight."

"Huh?" Dean asked with a frown, grabbing his phone and pocketing it before Cain could grab it.

"Ava said Cassie was upset. You blew her off because you're seeing someone," Cain shrugged his shoulders, "I'm guessing it's someone back home."

"Oh, yeah," Dean nodded, as they walked out of the room and down the hall to their teammates' shared room, "My ex back home. We're sorta giving things a go again." It was good enough and wasn't completely a lie. They were trying to give things a go—a friendship more than anything else, but it was still something.

The party went well, but it had no sooner gotten started that it was headcount. Dean had decided that he wasn't going to return when head count was finished. He'd make up some excuse so he could see his ex-boyfriend.

And that was just what he did. He told Zach that he had to make a phone call and would try to get back later, even though he had no plans to do that. The captain understood, guessing that this was all about Lisa. News had spread that Dean was now seeing someone back home; maybe it was the perfect cover right now. Zach would believe it since he knew about the pregnancy.

Walking down the hallway to his old room, he finally felt the nerves. The only time he'd felt like this was when he told his parents about Lisa's pregnancy. How had seeing his former roommate—his ex-boyfriend—made him so nervous? Maybe it was the apprehension of what was going to happen on the other side of the door. All Dean could think was that he was about to get the shit kicked outta him, and he knew that he would deserve it.

Rapping his knuckles on the door, he heard Castiel tell him the door was open. It was the invitation to come into the room, but Dean hesitated. His hand on the door handle, Dean waited for a few seconds. Castiel called out to him again, and this time Dean built up the courage to face him.

"Forget how to use the door?" Castiel was alone. At least, it seemed that way. That was a good thing. To keep it that way, Dean closed the door and locked it. He wanted to make sure it was just going to be the two of them. As Dean turned back around, he saw Castiel's eyebrows raised, "Expecting something?"

"Not sure what to expect," Dean admitted, putting his hands in the pocket of his jeans, "Why'd ya call me here, Cas?"

"I've been thinking," Castiel decided to get straight into it, "Actually, I've been doing a lot of thinking over the last month or so, especially over winter break."

"Me too," Dean admitted, "What's your thinking been about?"

"You and your situation with Lisa," Castiel sighed, "You said adoption might be an option. Or have you already decided now?"

"We've still not come to a decision," Dean shook his head, "There's a chance adoption would be an option but Lisa is up for coming to San Francisco with me if I go there. She seemed up for raising the baby together."

When Castiel's brow furrowed, Dean realized that he wasn't happy. This was exactly why he didn't want to tell his ex-boyfriend in the first place. He didn't want Castiel to deal with any of this.

"Look, we're both worried that the baby will be adopted by people who can't give it the best home possible. You know, there's horror stories of abusive parents and..."

"What if you could be assured that the parents would be great—that they'd give your kid a better life than you could? Would you consider it more?"

"Possibly," Dean shrugged his shoulders, "But knowing a kid of mine is somewhere out there? I'm not sure."

"What if you could see the kid anytime you wanted, within reason of course?" Castiel now offered. Dean just laughed, humorlessly.

"Yeah, this isn't a fairy tale, Cas," Dean turned around and walked to the door. He wasn't listening to this crap, "I'll see you later."

"Wait, I'm serious," Castiel stood up and grabbed Dean's hand, "I was talking to Anna..."

"Great, talking about me to your brother's girlfriend, again," Dean rolled his eyes before glaring into Castiel's blue ones, "How much did you tell her this time?"

"She asked about us and I told her we broke up," Cas explained, "I told her about the baby and...well...I just..."

"You had no right, Cas." Dean shook his head, the anger bubbling inside of him. He didn't want people talking about his business behind his back. It was bad enough that rumors flew around the school and Michael had shot his mouth off about seeing Dean and Cas together. But he never expected his ex-boyfriend to talk to someone about this.

"Dean, please, just let me explain," Castiel sighed, "Gabriel and Anna have wanted a kid for years. But they...Anna can't...I just thought...I'm sorry. You're right, I shouldn't have said anything. You told me that in confidence, and I shouldn't have told anyone else."

Dean sighed, rubbing his eyes as he laughed at the whole situation, "We're both fucking this up."

When he opened his eyes, he saw a small smile form on Castiel's features. It was the first smile he'd seen in a long time, and it made Dean happy. The smile had even reached his blue eyes, making them glisten.

"I guess I deserve the shit you're throwing at me, anyway," Dean sighed, "I've thrown enough at you these last—well, however long it's been. So, Anna...she can't have kids? Is that what you were gonna tell me?"

"Yeah," Castiel shuffled on the spot, uncomfortable at breaking someone else's trust, "When she heard about, well, about the possibility of you putting your kid up for adoption, she and Gabe. They...I guess they've been thinking about adoption for a while but there are so many hoops to jump through. And it's not like they're married, which causes some problems."

"So, they wanna adopt my kid?" Dean asked, slowly getting his head around this whole conversation. He was still pissed that Castiel had spoken to Anna about this, but he could now see why. And maybe there was something good that could come out of it.

"If you and Lisa would be willing," Castiel nodded his head, "They wanna talk to you and Lisa—of course—but it could make things easier for both of you. If you chose them, the authorities wouldn't stand in the way as much as they would if they went through an agency."

Dean sighed. He really wasn't sure about this, "I'll have to speak to Lisa about this. But maybe. I'm not sure when he can get all this done now. You know there's only two months left."

"Maybe a weekend?" Castiel shrugged his shoulders, "That's if you and Lisa both want to do this. I won't say anything else to them until you decide."

Dean nodded his head with a small smile. Despite everything, Castiel was still looking out for him and still helping him. What the hell had Dean done to deserve someone like this man? Turning on the spot, Dean mumbled something about making a call. Just as he put his hand on the door handle, he stopped and took a deep breath. Maybe if Castiel was helping him with this, there was a chance. There was a chance that they could make things work between them.

He was at least going to test that boundary. Rushing back over to Castiel, Dean grabbed his face in his hands and kissed the older boy gently. It wasn't rushed or passionate. It was just a gentle, loving kiss. Dean then pulled away, placing his forehead on Castiel's, looking into his blue eyes.

"Thank you."

And with that, Dean walked out of the room. If he stayed any longer, he'd ruin the moment and he was determined to win Castiel back.

* * *

**So, there is some hope somewhere out there...there may be a chance that they can work through this. I'd love to hear what you think. What do you think Dean and Lisa should do? Please R&amp;R. **


	25. Chapter 25

**Thank you so much for the support and reviews for the last chapter. I really love reading them, whether you have good or bad things to say. Bad helps me improve as a writer ;)**

**Anyway, it's time for a new update on this story. I know some of you are worried that Lisa will use the pregnancy to trap Dean. I will tell you that that is definitely not going to happen and some of the scenes I'll be including over the next few chapters will prove that. However, Dean isn't just going to turn his back on his kid. He's going to find ways to make things work because that's just who Dean is. He doesn't want to be with Lisa, though.**

**Here's the chapter for you to enjoy and yes Castiel is in it.**

Chapter 25

Dean stared at his phone. He'd placed it on the desk, while he sat on his bed. He just wasn't sure whether he should make the call or not. Having the phone out of reach was better. It would stop him from making a rash decision.

Gabriel and Anna wanted kids of their own, but couldn't. They'd pretty much said they wanted to adopt Dean's kid. Yes, there were so many benefits to that—he would actually get to see his kid grow up. But there were also so many downsides to it. One of those would be if his relationship with Castiel was completely ruined. They weren't exactly together right now. What if they never got back together? What if they grew to really hate each other? Then his kid would be left with the brother of his ex-boyfriend and Dean wouldn't be able to see him (yes, him) again.

But then there were all those benefits. He and Lisa were leaning on the side of adoption anyway. It made sense for both of them. Their conversations over winter break had pretty much led to them agreeing adoption should be the way to go.

_Lisa tilted her head to one side with a small frown, "Why would it be my choice?" Dean had told her that she had the choice of whether they remain in Kansas or went to San Francisco if they did keep the baby. He'd since been offered a scholarship from two colleges._

"_Well, I'm assuming you've thought about this," Dean pointed at the baby bump, "And the idea of moving to San Francisco and adoption and all that."  
_

"_This is a conversation we need to have together," Lisa pointed out, "I know you, Dean Winchester. You're a family man, you always have been. You wouldn't want me making a decision without including you in it. I can already tell U of K isn't the school you want to go to. I'm not sure why, since San Francisco would mean moving away from your brothers and sister, but well, I guess you have your reasons for wanting a fresh start."_

"_I..." Dean couldn't really tell her the truth about why he'd like to move to San Francisco—about Castiel possibly going to Stanford and Dean just wanting to be in a city more accepting of the LGBT community, "I just...yeah, I guess a fresh start would be good. There's a lot of stuff around here that could get me in more trouble, you know?"_

"_Yeah, which is why I was thinking," Lisa swallowed hard, "Maybe adoption would be our best option. You don't need me coming to San Francisco with you. We're not even together anymore and I have no illusions that you want to get back with me. You've probably found someone else..."_

_Dean refused to confirm or deny anything, knowing it would mean the difficult conversation of Castiel and his new knowledge of being bisexual. Nervously running his hand through his hair, he looked at Lisa, who just grinned._

"_Oh, feel this." She quickly grabbed his hand and placed it on her baby bump. Dean looked at her confused at first, until he felt it. It was light at first but then a second one came. The baby was kicking and moving around inside his ex-girlfriend's stomach._

"_Oh my God!" Dean's eyebrows raised, feeling a connection to the small baby growing inside of her, "That's..."_

"_That's our boy, Dean." Lisa nodded with a small smile._

"_Boy?" Dean asked, and his heart broke when Lisa nodded her head. He didn't really want to know that. Now he'd be way to connected to it to give him up for adoption. He was surprised Lisa seemed so accepting of it. Surely carrying a kid around for nine months would mean she'd grow attached. Giving their son up would be heartbreaking for her._

Giving up her son would be heartbreaking, but maybe it was the better option for them. He at least owed her the chance to make the decision with him. He'd learned the hard way with Castiel that he couldn't make decisions for everyone to try and protect them.

Sighing, Dean picked up the phone and made the call. Hopefully Lisa would pick up and it wasn't too late for her. Damn it, he'd not even checked the time.

"Hey, Dean," Lisa mumbled, alerting him to waking her up, "What's up?"

"I'm sorry. Did I wake you?"

"It's okay," Lisa yawed on the other side of the phone, "What can I do for you?"

Dean took a deep breath before he told her everything that he and Castiel had just talked about. There were a few things left out, including the fact that the couple he knew were connected to his former roommate. He couldn't get into the conversation with Lisa about Castiel and staying at his house when he'd been suspended.

Once he finished, he waited for her to say something. But he was meat with silence on the other side of the phone. Panic instantly went through him.

"Lise?" he asked, "You still with me?"

"Yeah, erm..." Lisa sighed and Dean realized that maybe it was a bad idea springing this idea on her. But when else could they do this? "I'm not sure. I mean, I don't know these guys. This couple could be serial killers."

"They could," Dean laughed, "But I don't think they are. Why don't we meet with them and hear why they think they'd make great parents—better parents than us for our kid—and then talk about it? I'll see when I can get a weekend off and see if it works for everyone else?"

"Okay." Lisa simply said, just as the door to the room opened. Cain stumbled into the room, being carried by Zach. Dean couldn't help but chuckle as Cain flopped onto his bed.

"Erm, I'm gonna have to go, Lise," Dean sighed, "I'll see about getting a weekend off soon and we can really discuss this. It's not like we have much time left."

"Okay, Dean," Lisa agreed again, "Bye."

Dean hung up the phone, and looked at Zach expectantly, "The party that good?"

"You know Cain can't hold his drink," Zach smiled, "That your ex—or girlfriend. You decided to get back with her for the baby?"

"We're trialling a few things," Dean lied, glancing over at Cain quickly as he mumbled something about a baby. Dean wondered whether his roommate would remember any of this in the morning. He was clearly not completely passed out yet, "There's just still so much to think about."

"Well, I hope you still come to San Francisco," Zach shrugged his shoulders, "I thought it'd be cool if we were roomies."

Dean threw Zach a fake grin, hoping that it looked genuine. The last thing he really wanted was to share a room with this guy. Not that he hadn't appreciated Zach's ability to keep the pregnancy a secret, but he didn't trust him and still didn't think of him as a friend.

* * *

2am slowly turned to 3am. 3am turned into 4am. God, it was a good job it was Saturday the next day. And with the season being finished, there was no training.

Dean laid wide awake, thinking of everything that Castiel had said and everything that could happen in the future. He hated the what ifs and could bes. He wanted straight answers—he needed them, right now.

What if Gabe and Anna turned out to be crap parents? He couldn't exactly judge their skills on raising Castiel. Gabriel had said that he was always a brother and not a parent.

What if he and Castiel stayed together and Dean was always around his kid? How could he consider keeping it from his kid that he was his real dad? He'd need to, though, and he knew it would kill him.

What if he and Castiel parted ways for good? He'd never get to see his kid again—well, he would, but it would be awkward. Imagine having to put up with your ex-boyfriend's brother for the rest of your life!

What if he and Lisa could make this work? No, Dean knew that wasn't the case. As much as he liked Lisa, he wasn't into her in that way anymore. They were friends, and that was all it would be. And he wouldn't force them to be together for the sake of his son.

What if Gabriel and Anna told their son that Dean was his real dad? That would be even more awkward than trying to keep the secret from his kid. It would lead to so many questions, especially if he and Castiel had managed to work something out.

Of course, a lot of this depending on Dean even making things work with Castiel. His ex-boyfriend still hated him. But then he was still thinking about him. He was still trying to help him. Why would he help him if he hated him? Was it hate, or was it just dislike?

Dean glanced over at the clock. 4:17 the red numbers shone, making Dean groan. Time was moving far too slowly. Deciding that he'd had enough of just laying in bed, Dean got up and threw some sweats and a t-shirt on. He needed to sort his head out, and there was only really one person who could help him do that. Hopefully that one person wouldn't be too pissed at being woken up at this time on a morning.

He didn't feel as nervous this time when he reached his old room. Why should he? He wasn't worried about Castiel's friends being on the other side ready to jump him. He thought about knocking, but Dean decided to go into the room instead. He didn't really want Castiel to have to drag his ass out of bed if he could help it—and not for _that_ reason.

As he expected, the room was dark and Castiel was curled up in his bed. As usual, he faced the door, his facial expression one of peace. He always looked happy and peaceful when he slept. Dean shut the door and locked it, before walking over to the bed.

"Cas?" Dean spoke in a loud whisper. What was the point in whispering, though? It wasn't like there was anyone else in the room and he was trying to wake his ex-boyfriend, "Castiel."

Dean spoke clearly the second time, gently stroking Cas' bare arm. It made the shorter boy jump awake, eyes snapping open at the knowledge that someone else was in the room.

"Hey, sorry," Dean held his hands up in defense, "I didn't mean to scare you."

"What the hell, Dean?" Castiel asked with a frown, glancing at the clock, "It's not even five in the morning. What the hell are you doing here?"

Cas rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, as Dean perched on the bed. He could tell that Cas was wearing nothing but his boxers, and Dean wanted nothing more than to curl up in the bed with him and be near him.

"Dean?"

He realized now that he'd been silent. Dean rubbed his face, mumbling that he needed to talk and that he was sorry for waking him. Castiel sat up in the bed, narrowing his eyes. He didn't say anything, but waited for Dean to say something more. Dean realized now that he was going to have to blurt it all out. That was the best way to get his feelings across.

"I'm not sure about anything right now and I really miss you," Dean admitted to himself as well as to Castiel, "I've just been doing lots of thinking and what if we hate each other? That will cause so many problems if your brother and his girlfriend adopt my kid. But then, maybe they can give him a better life than Lisa and I can give. I just...I...I don't want us to be in the place we are anymore. I really care about you, Cas, and I don't want you to hate me anymore."

"You know, I thought I hated you," Castiel admitted with a chuckle, "Turns out I was just too stubbornly in love with you. Why do you think I wanted to help you? I don't think I could ever really hate you."

Dean nodded with a frown before he continued, "Look, with everything going on, I have no illusions. I guess I kinda know how all this is gonna end for me. But when I do picture myself happy, it's with you, Cas."

Castiel tilted his head to one side, before reaching out to grab Dean's hand, "And I always picture myself happy with you."

That wasn't something that Dean expected to hear. He just stared at Castiel, dumbfounded. Had Cas just seriously admitted to being happy with Dean—or at least thinking he could be happy with Dean?

"What does this mean for us?" Castiel now asked with a sigh, rubbing the back of Dean's hands, "I mean, we can't exactly go back to what we were before all this. You really hurt me, Dean. I mean, really hurt me."

"I know..."

"No, I don't think you really do," Castiel shook his head, "I was completely heartbroken. You didn't trust me with this pregnancy. You wouldn't let me in—you chose the football team over me. After everything that we talked about and everything we shared. I thought...I started to think that Speedy and Benny were right. That you just wanted me for one thing.

"But there was always something I couldn't quite get my head around, you know. I couldn't figure out why you spent a whole week with me at my house if you just wanted sex. And then there were a few days here until Jo called. I knew she had something to do with it—and your ex—but I couldn't figure out what."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you." Was all that Dean could say to the man he loved—yes, loved. Dean Winchester had decided that he really did love Castiel.

"It's not that you didn't tell me, but that you didn't trust me."

"That wasn't it."

"And that you were trying to make decisions for me."

"I was trying to protect you from..."

"From what?" Cas laughed, "Your mistake? Your accident?"

"From making a difficult decision," Dean sighed, "From having to choose between having me and a kid or being able to enjoy your carefree existence. I wanted to make it easier for you."

Castiel shook his head, rubbing his eyes. He knew all this now, but it didn't change how he'd felt for weeks on end. All the questions that had gone around his head, especially whenever he saw Dean with the football team.

"I deserved the choice," Castiel sighed, "You don't get to make decisions for me. Never. If we try this again, you never get to make decisions for me again."

"You want to try this again?" Dean asked with a frown.

"I told you I'm too stubbornly in love with you."

_I love you, too_, Dean thought to himself, just as Castiel looked at him with a frown.

"What did you say?" Cas asked, but Dean looked away. Had he just said that out loud? He was only supposed to think it. When Dean refused to repeat it, Cas grabbed his face, staring straight into his green eyes, "What did you just say, Dean."

"I...I..." Dean stuttered and then finally got the courage to say it again, "I love you, too."

Before Dean knew it, Castiel's lips were crushing onto his. It was as if that was all Cas needed to hear to put everything behind him. If they loved each other they stood a chance to get through all this. Dean quickly returned the kiss, as they battled for dominance, moaning as hands clumsily felt over each other.

Dean felt himself being pulled onto the bed, so he was lying on top of Cas. He'd do anything to prove to him right now that he was never going to hurt him again—but he knew deep down that he could never promise that. He was a jerk; a jerk that Cas loved too much.

Realizing that, Dean pulled away to look into Castiel's gorgeous ocean-colored eyes, "We can't...We shouldn't do this."

"I know," Cas nodded, "But I want to."

"I'm a jerk, Cas. You deserve better than me."

"Well, I want you, Dean," Cas sighed, "It may seem like I'm a pushover but I love you and I want you. Will you get on with it, already?"

Dean frowned for a millisecond before finding himself filled with lust and want. He delved straight into Castiel's mouth with his tongue, his hands trailing everywhere they could. This was going to be a Saturday morning worth remembering.

* * *

**Yay! They're back together. It's not going to be all roses for them from now, there's still a lot to get through, but they're back together and Dean has finally admitted his feelings...  
**

**I'd love to hear what you think about this chapter. Good, bad? Going in the direction you want? Please R&amp;R.**


	26. Chapter 26

**Hey everyone! Thank you again for your reviews and support with this story. I know many of you want the drama to end. I'm going to say now that it's not quite over for them BUT they are learning to work through things together and that's the important thing. Dean is going to start opening up to Cas a lot more from now on. Yes, Cas is in this chapter again :)**

Chapter 26

Lisa allowed Dean to help her up the stairs to the apartment door. He'd suggested the elevator, but she was adamant that she was pregnant not an invalid. That was his Lisa—the one that had attracted him to her in the first place. She was feisty and independent. Most of all, she was flexible. Okay, so the sex was a definite selling point. But her feisty, independent nature was the reason he agreed to being her boyfriend in the first place.

"I still don't know about this." Lisa breathed out heavily, holding her stomach. Dean tilted his head with a small smile.

"You're walking up three flights of stairs and you still don't know about this?" He couldn't help but joke, earning a glare off her, "Look, I kinda know this couple. They're not serial killers."

"Uh huh," Lisa nodded, sighing with relief when they reached the top of the final flight of stairs. Dean waited for her to catch her breath back before they walked down the hallway to the apartment door, "That doesn't mean they're the best option for our son."

"No, it doesn't," Dean shook his head, fully agreeing with her, "But they could be a better option than us. Answer honestly, Lise, are you really ready to be a mom?"

Lisa frowned deeply, looking at the floor. No, she wasn't really ready for this, and Dean knew it. But Dean also knew that she was protective and clearly invested in this child. Of course she was. She'd been carrying the baby for the last seven months.

"There is something you should know about this couple, though," Dean decided now was the time to explain a little about Castiel now rather than face the full wrath of Gabe and Anna and surprise Lisa, "The guy is the brother of my ex-roommate. And I was a bit of a jerk to him."

"Oh, Dean," Lisa sighed, "You're a jerk to everyone."

"No, I was a massive jerk," Dean sighed, wrapping his arm around Lisa's shoulders to lead her down the hallway, "I wouldn't be surprised if the brother—Gabriel—tried to slug me one. And I think I'd take it for what I did to this guy."

Lisa didn't ask anything else. She'd learned over the years of being friends and then a girlfriend of Dean not to ask for more details. It was easier not asking and just accepting—or ignoring.

Once they reached the apartment door, Dean knocked on it and waited. He'd already arranged with Gabriel and Anna to come for around this time. Well, Castiel had. Dean wasn't sure how much Cas had told Gabe about how much of a dick he'd been, but he guessed that it would be some. If not Gabe, he'd have told Anna. It was just easier to be prepared for the worst.

Hopefully things had changed now. The last two weeks with Castiel had been great. Well, secretly been great. It still wasn't like Dean could tell his teammates that he was bisexual.

"Well, well, well," Gabriel smirked, opening the door, "You know I should hit you for what you did to my brother."

"Yeah, yeah," Dean nodded his head, "Go ahead, but can we get Lisa out of the way first?"

Gabriel looked over at the seven-month-pregnant teenager and softened his features. There was no way he was going to let a pregnant woman suffer, "Sure. Hi, Lisa. I'm Gabriel."

"Hi." Lisa smiled nervously on the spot. Gabriel stood to one side, allowing her into the apartment, where Anna was waiting excitedly. The red-head offered her hand, introducing herself and instantly pulled Lisa towards the kitchen to get her a drink. Dean didn't step foot inside yet; just waited for Gabriel to clear up everything that Cas had said.

"Cassie said she knows nothing about you and your suspension activities," Gabriel pointed out, "So, I won't say anything about it in front of her but let me make this clear, I'm not happy. I'd Dalek your ass right away if I could, but Cassie asked me not to. It sounds like you're trying to make it up to him."

"I am," Dean nodded, "And you're right, she knows nothing about anything. Not yet. I can't...this is too big to dump on her or anyone else right now."

Gabriel nodded. Dean's son had to come first.

"Let me make one thing clear, though," Gabriel pointed out, "You hurt him again—even if it's just a slight pull at the heartstrings—and I will hurt you. I don't care what he asks me not to do."

"Gotcha." Dean nodded his head, before being allowed into the apartment where Anna was waiting for him with a glass of coke. She hadn't forgotten his preferences from the suspension. Now it was time to get into the nitty gritty parts.

"I know this is going to be a major decision for the two of you," Anna explained, as they group of them sat down in the small living space. Dean and Lisa sat on the couch, while Anna took the chair. Gabriel perched on the arm rest for the time being. There would have been enough room on the couch, but he clearly didn't want to suffocate Lisa too much. She was going to be the one to really sell this idea to, "And I know you don't really know us, Dean. And Lisa, you don't know us at all. But I can promise you that your son would have the best life possible here. He would always be put first, as any child should be."

"Thanks," Lisa nodded slowly, looking down at her glance before speaking up, "Dean said that you can't have kids of your own."

"No, erm, I can't," Anna shook her head, "God knows why Gabe is still with me considering he wants them like crazy, but..."

"I love her," Gabriel nodded, "There are other ways to have kids. There isn't another Anna."

Dean smiled, looking between the two of them. It was a sweet moment, and he couldn't help but think about the way he felt about Castiel. Right now, he was considering giving up his chance for a kid of his own. He would choose Cas right now if it was either or. There wasn't another Castiel out there.

"Have you tried the traditional adoption route yet?" Lisa broke into Dean's thoughts now, looking between Gabriel and Anna, "I mean, if kids are really that important..."

"Not yet," Gabriel admitted, "We've been biding our time. There are so many hoops to jump through. I have a friend who works in social services, and she's looked into the process for us. It would be years before we're even considered as we are right now. I know that sounds bad for you, but, well we wanna be honest with ya."

"Thanks for that," Lisa nodded with a smile, "I really appreciate that."

"We really appreciate that." Dean joined in with the conversation now, as Lisa grabbed his hand. Dean didn't miss Gabriel looking down at the movement, possibly with a suspicious glare.

"So, you'd be able to get the paperwork we'd need sorted, right?" Lisa asked, looking at Gabe, "If you have a friend in social services."

"Yeah, that part wouldn't be an issue," Gabriel nodded, "She'd just need to know the terms of the adoption if you wanted to go through with it. Let me say that I—we—don't want to push you into this. We've spoken about it and we're not getting our hopes up. This is a big decision."

"But we can promise you that you could see your son." Anna jumped in.

"That's if you wanted to." Gabriel tacked on, glancing over at Lisa. Dean frowned, glancing at Lisa, too. He was usually very good at reading people and right now he couldn't tell what Lisa was thinking; whether it was good or bad. Whether her thoughts were on the same page as his.

"I...I'm not sure," Lisa sighed, rubbing her eyes, "This is already going to be difficult for me. But to see him without him knowing that he's my son. I just don't know."

Gabriel nodded his head with a small smile and then glanced at Dean. If Dean was going to stay with Cas, he wouldn't have a choice. He would see his son grow up, knowing that he wouldn't be "daddy" but possibly "Uncle Dean." Could he deal with that?

"Maybe." Dean decided to play it that way, throwing Gabe and Anna a look that he hoped said that it was a yes but he couldn't be completely honest with Lisa there. It would be difficult enough to explain his relationship with Castiel without going into the fact that he'd just realized he was bisexual.

It was still a maybe on whether he and Lisa would let them adopt their son, anyway. There was still the option of Lisa moving to San Francisco with Dean or even Dean staying in Lawrence with Lisa. But they did need to make a choice soon. They were running out of time. If only Lisa had told him sooner and maybe they could have done something about it by now; come to a decision by now.

"I think I'd need to make a complete cut," Lisa admitted, "I've been thinking about it. I'm already attached so giving up a baby is going to be really difficult for me. But I know that it's probably the best decision for my boy. So, I think I'd really need to just cut myself off from his life. I'm not speaking for you, though, Dean. If you wanted...I mean..."

"I know," Dean nodded his head, "There's a few things I need to think about right now."

"Well, we could put something in the paperwork if you wanted to go ahead with it." Gabriel nodded, knowing that he and Dean would have to talk about this in private; without Lisa around and possibly with Castiel around.

"But we do understand," Anna nodded her head with a soft smile, "I think I'd be the same. But we want you to have the option if you bless us with this opportunity."

"So, I guess it's time that we tell you a lot more about us." Gabriel smiled.

Lisa got into the Impala with a labored sigh. Dean could tell that it wasn't the pregnancy but the big decision weighing her down, right now. They'd just finished speaking to Gabriel and Anna, and were now going to have to talk to each other.

"Wanna do this at mine or at yours?" Dean asked, climbing into the driver's side and starting up the car. When she didn't answer, Dean looked over and instantly panicked. Her head was in her hands with her shoulders shaking. He could then just make out the quiet sobs. It pulled at his heart, as he pulled her towards him so she could cry into his chest.

"I'm sorry," she cried, "These damn hormones."

"It's okay," Dean kissed the top of her head, "Cry all you want on me. I deserve a lot worse for knocking you up."

"Please, don't say it like that," Lisa cried, "And it's not like it was all your fault. This is so damned hard. They were so nice and I...I...I don't know what to do? I want to do right by our son but what the hell is that?"

Dean tilted his head back with a deep sigh. If only he knew what the best thing was. If he did, he would have suggested it already; no, he would have pushed for it.

"Maybe this is the best option," Dean sighed, "Giving our son a loving home with two parents who clearly love the crap outta each other. I'm sorry, Lise, but that's not us."

Lisa pulled back, tears staining her tanned cheeks, mascara running through them. She wiped her cheeks, pulling the sun visor down to look into the mirror.

"I look a state." She was ignoring the topic of conversation, right now. But Dean needed her to listen to this. He needed her to understand that while he wanted to be part of his son's life with her, he didn't quite want to be with her. His feelings had completely changed and they weren't going to change back.

"Look, Lise, talk to me about this," Dean sighed, "You've shut me down every time I've tried over the last month. I need to be honest with you. You're great. I care for you, I really do. I want the best for you and I'd love to do right by ya, but I can't. I...I can't be with you, Lise, and that's the way it will always be. I'm in love with someone else."

"Someone else?" Lisa now frowned, looking into Dean's green eyes, "You're...who?"

"Does it really matter?" Dean asked with a shrug, "It's no-one you know."

"And this someone—she knows that you have a kid on the way?"

Dean nodded his head, refraining from telling her that it was really a _he_. It definitely wasn't something he could go into.

"Things aren't perfect between us, but yeah," Dean now spoke, "And maybe things will work out properly for us when we go to college. But that doesn't change the way I feel about you and this whole fucking, messed up situation. I want the best for our kid and the more I think about it, the more I think adoption is the best way to go. But, no, I don't want our son to go to anyone. I want...I'd be up for Gabe and Anna taking him."

Lisa looked away, just stared out of the passenger window. Dean knew that meant she was done discussing this. It was her sign that there were things she needed to think about and she was too angry to even think about talking to him.

"I'll let you think about it, but I wanted you to know my opinion. At the end of the day, it's your decision. If you want to keep it, I'll support you any way I can."

With that, Dean put the car into drive and drove back to Lisa's grandmother's house. That was likely the best option.

* * *

"Winchester, where have you been?" Cain asked just as Dean threw his bag on his bed. Dean didn't really want to get into this. His teammates still hadn't found out about his ex being pregnant. Zach had actually still kept it between them, and he couldn't help but feel relieved.

"I just went home," Dean shrugged, "Needed to see people."

"Needed to get laid, huh?" Cain asked with a proud nod. Dean turned his back on his roommate, rolling his eyes at the comment, "No wonder you look like you didn't sleep any better than you do here. You okay, man?"

"What do you mean?"

"Heard you leaving the room a lot lately," Cain admitted, "Where do you go when you don't sleep?"

"Just go for a walk, man," Dean shrugged his shoulders, lying quit convincingly if he admitted to himself. He had expected Cain to ask him about this already, so had created an excuse in his head, "I don't sleep too well. I'm used to having my own room at home and..."

"You couldn't sleep that much when you shared a room with that fag," Cain nodded his head, cutting Dean off, "Well, just so you know I'm not gonna jump your bones in the middle of the night, okay? You are allowed to sleep."

Dean smiled weakly as he started unpacking his bags, "Thanks, man. I appreciate that permission."

Cain chuckled with Dean sarcasm, before grabbing a pack of smokes from his bed side drawer, "You want one?"

"Nah, smoked enough on the way back here," Dean grinned, "Enjoy."

Cain nodded and left the room, leaving Dean to his own devices. That was perfect. Just what he needed right now. There was a person he really needed to see.

Rushing down the hallway, Dean checked over his shoulder before tapping on the bedroom door. Without waiting for an answer, he opened it only to find that Castiel was not alone. Benny and Speedy were both in the room, with textbooks open.

"Sorry, man," Dean sighed, "Didn't realize you'd be studying with them. I'll come back."

"No, stay," Castiel shook his head, "Tell me how it went."

"Fine," Dean nodded, not stepping fully into the room yet, "It's not something I wanna discuss around others, you know. I'll talk to you later. Text me when you're finished and can talk."

Dean closed the door as he left. He didn't want to hear what Benny and Speedy were about to say to Cas. Before he could leave the corridor, though, he heard the door to Castiel's room open and then close.

"Dean, you can talk to him now," Benny's voice said, as he tapped him on the shoulder, "Sounds important."

"Hurt him, you die." Speedy said under his breath as they both walked past him. Like Dean hadn't heard that enough at the moment. Accepting their permission, though, Dean walked back to the room and walked in without knocking.

"Sorry, I should've guessed you wouldn't want to talk around them," Castiel nodded, "You okay?"

"I'm...What's going to happen between us?" Dean quickly came out with it. It was something he'd been thinking about the whole time back from Lawrence, "I mean, if Gabe and Anna adopt my son, what's gonna happen between us. I don't want my son being dangled in front of me and then suddenly snatched away. But..."

"I know," Castiel nodded with a sigh, "It's been playing on my mind, too. It wouldn't be fair but it's not completely up to you. You're the one that's like a Katy Perry song."

Dean frowned at that comment, confused to hell.

"You know, all hot and cold?" Castiel asked and then waved his confusion off, "What I'm saying is, if you can stop being a dick then maybe we'd work out. I know it'll be so much easier when it comes to us graduating and being at college."

"Even though we're going to different colleges? That's if I even get _into_ college."

"You'll get in, Dean," Cas smiled, "I'm not letting you fail your SATs when you want this so much. If you still want this. Or are you staying in Lawrence?"

"I want your brother to adopt my kid," Dean admitted out loud to the first person since Lisa. He couldn't say anything to anyone else back home. It wasn't something he was ready to talk about because he knew it would all come back to his relationship with Cas, as well as Lisa's decision over the matter, "I want to go to college and I want my son to be raised by two damn good parents. But...but what if it goes so wrong with you that we end up hating each other? What if I can't see my son at all because I can't stand the sight of you? What if I get so connected to my son that I can't let Gabe and Anna parent him?"

"Well, that last one, you'll be on the other side of the country—or you may as well be," Castiel pointed out, "They'll stay in Topeka and you'll be in San Francisco. It will be harder to get attached. And if something happens between us, I can leave when you go to see your son. I wouldn't be a dick and make that awkward for you. But I'd hope we could work through things. We can if you stop being a jerk now."

Dean chuckled to himself at that last comment. Yes, they probably could make things work if he just stopped being a jerk to Castiel now.

"The rest...well, things might happen and it will be difficult," Castiel continued, "But you need to do the best thing for your son, right now. And the best thing for _you_. Is letting Gabe and Anna adopt your son the best thing?"

"For me, yeah?" Dean nodded, "For Lise? 'm not too sure."

* * *

**There is definitely a lot for people to talk about in this. What would you like to see? I know where this goes, but I'd love to hear what you think about the idea of Gabe and Anna adopting Dean and Lisa's child. I'd also love to hear what you think of Lisa keeping Ben (yes, it will be Ben) but Dean not being a hands-on dad, and what you'd think about him being a hands-on dad...possibly with Castiel there too...Please R&amp;R and I'll be back Monday with an update. **


	27. Chapter 27

**Thank you so much for your feedback on the last chapter. I see there's mixed reviews over whether Lisa and Dean should keep the baby or not. I've already written the chapters and decided on it, but I can confirm that some of you will be disappointed (not all of you on that aspect, but some of you). I've had to think of the long term, character development for all and just what it would be like for Lisa, Dean, Castiel, Gabe and Anna.**

**Anyway, the answer to that question will come up in the next few chapters. Before that happens, there are a few moments needed between Dean and Castiel ;)**

**I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

Chapter 27

Dean laid on his back on Castiel's bed, pulling the shorter guy into him. He was lazily drawing patterns on Castiel's lower back, while Cas drew patterns on his chest.

"What are you doing over spring break?" Dean now asked, tilting his cheek to touch the top of Castiel's head.

"The usual, I guess," Castiel shrugged his shoulders, "Going home. Why?"

"I wondered whether you wanted to come to mine," Dean offered, "Maybe it's time I started coming out to those close to me. You know, like my folks and..."

Castiel shot up in the bed, looking at Dean with raised eyebrows. This was a big step—a major step for Dean. He was already dealing with the pregnancy and now he wanted to throw something like this on his parents. It told Castiel one thing; Dean really wanted this relationship to work out. Saying those three words wasn't just for show or to get back into his pants. It was a genuine declaration of his feelings.

At least, that's what Dean believed the shocked look meant. He really wished he could read minds at times.

"You don't have to if you don't want to..." Dean started.

"I'd love to but..." Castiel started and then bit his bottom lip, "Do you really want to do this?"

"I wouldn't bring it up if I didn't want to," Dean sighed, "I'm not going to dangle something in front of you like I'd dangle cheese in front of a mouse. I'm trying my hardest not to be a jackass."

Castiel chuckled as Dean climbed out of bed and threw on his clothes, "What are you doing?"

"Well, I need to get back to my room," Dean pointed out, pointing over to the clock. It was 4am, so he'd need to make it look like he'd done some sleeping in his own bed. After Cain had made it clear that he knew Dean crept out of the room at night, they had to be careful. Dean made it clear that they could only do this once or twice a week and it couldn't be on the same days. It was complicated and messy, but it worked for them right now, "But, I also want to give you time to think about this. I've gotta be honest that it won't be easy. Possibly easier than telling any of those dicks I call teammates but, well, my dad won't exactly take it easily. I'm not even sure what Adam and Charlie will think. Just think about it."

Castiel got out of the bed, rushing over to Dean after he threw on his t-shirt. Castiel gave him a deep, passionate kiss. It was a clear sign for Dean that Castiel was on board and that he was grateful for Dean making this decision.

Walking down the corridor, Dean thought about Castiel's words. Was this something that he really wanted to do? Hell, yes it was. He wanted to finally be honest with the people he loved. He wanted to tell his mom that the whole reason it wouldn't work out with Lisa was because he was in love with someone else—and that someone was a guy. He wanted her to know that he had changed a lot since coming to the boarding school and it was a good thing for him.

And he wanted to prove to Castiel that he did love the hell out of him. This wasn't just a teenage crush. He was truly, madly, deeply in love and this was the best way to show it. Sure, he couldn't do anything outside of the room in the school, but when at home...well, while at home he wanted to be who he really was and wanted to show Castiel just how much he meant to him.

Sneaking back into the room, Dean placed his cell phone on the night stand and then stripped to his boxers before climbing into the bed. His phone vibrated alerting him to a text message.

_I'd love to come to yours at spring break._

_Cas x_

Dean smiled at the text message. Perfect.

* * *

It was spring break. Dean was finally able to get off the school grounds. The best part of this was that he was going home with Castiel. He'd already warned his brother that Cas was coming, and cleared it with his mom that a 'friend' could come over. Jo had been another person he needed to get in touch with. He was going to have as many people on his side through this as possible.

He'd hardly heard from Lisa since the meeting with Gabe and Anna, and it wasn't for lack of trying. Dean had text and phoned her, but she wanted nothing to do with him. This last week he'd decided to give up, almost. He'd see her during the week and see if she'd come to a decision. There wasn't long left now. The sound of his phone vibrating on the night stand alerted him to a text message.

_Still want some help?_

_Cas x_

Dean checked the message and couldn't help but chuckle to himself. He quickly fired off a text to say he'd love it. Right now, he was just waiting for Cain to leave. Dean had already said that he was going to leave later in the day, once everyone else had gone. He was actually going to get some studying done now that the football team were off home for the week. It was never easy to study when they had parties going, and Dean had his S. coming up.

"Have a good spring break, Dean," Cain said a quick goodbye on the way out, "Hope you have fun with that girl of yours back home."

"See you in a week, man." Dean waved, pulling out his textbook to read it. Dean decided he was going to wait for about half an hour before texting Castiel. He wanted to make sure all the football team had gone, and propped the door open to listen out in the corridor. Sure enough, just as Cain was leaving, Ezekiel, Uriel and Zach all said their goodbyes for the break.

"Hope you two come to a decision." Zach said with a small smile before leaving the room. Dean hoped so, too.

Quickly checking his phone, he realized enough time had passed by. He fired off a text to Castiel to come to his room. Once others had left, Dean had already said he'd give Castiel a lift home, since Topeka was on the way to his.

"You're actually doing school work!" Cas laughed, closing the door behind him and locking it. If anyone else was still around, they would just assume that the boys had both left and one of them locked the door behind them. They wouldn't be disturbed now.

"I've gotta, man," Dean sighed, "Need to pass the math. Wanna help? It's been a while since I've had a study date."

"So, this would be a date, huh?" Castiel clearly didn't miss the play on words that Dean used. He grinned up at his friend and then went back to his books. Honestly, he needed to study and he knew he could trust Castiel to help him right now. Being in a room with his boyfriend was just a major benefit.

About an hour into studying, Dean's phone alerted him to a text message. Chances were it was his family, so he quickly checked.

_Mom says to be home by 7. I've already text Jo._

Dean sighed at his brother's text and then put his phone to one side before checking his watch. It would take two hours to get home if he was going straight there. He'd add a bit of time to his journey since he was taking Cas home. He would need to leave by four and it was already midday.

"We'll have to hit the road soon." He looked at Castiel.

"Your mom?" Cas pointed to the phone.

"Brother, but pretty much Mom," Dean nodded, "Mom wants us to be there by seven."

"If you don't want to tell them this week, I understand," Castiel sighed, "I know that...this is going to be big and you've still got the whole baby thing and..."

"Cas, I want to tell them," Dean made it clear once more. They'd had the same conversation over the last couple of weeks, "I need to tell them. Not just for you but for me. I need to be honest with them for once in my god forsaken life."

The drive home was pleasant. Dean and Cas discussed their plans and when they were going to see each other and they talked about general things. It would be a little harder than the suspension. More people in the house on a daily basis would make it a lot harder, and he didn't want things to be awkward for his whole family. But it would be good to be able to hang out with Castiel properly and actually go out with him.

It was a little after 5pm when he walked through the front door, the sound of chatter in the living room. He could tell that Jo was already here, hearing her screaming at the TV. Dean chuckled, guessing that she was playing on the damned Xbox with one of his siblings—most likely either Adam and Charlie.

"You are far too good at this, squirt," she laughed loudly, "Seriously! I can't believe you're kicking my ass."

Yup, definitely either Adam or Charlie. Sam was definitely no squirt. Looking at Castiel, Dean placed his index finger to his lips to tell him to be quiet. He wanted to catch Jo losing to one of his baby siblings.

"You're not doing _that_ bad." That was Charlie's voice. He should have guessed that it would be his little sister.

Dean glanced around the door frame to see Jo and Charlie sitting next to each other, the shooting game up on the screen. He grinned when he realized it was Call of Duty—one game that he was awesome at. He wondered whether he'd still be any good or completely out of practice. When Jo died against and the game was finished, Dean started applauding.

"I gotta say, Charlie, you did good."

"I'm awesome, Dean," Charlie grinned, rushing over to her big brother to hug him. She then eyed Castiel with a large grin, "Hi, I'm Batman."

"No, that would be Sammy," Dean chuckled, looking over at Jo with a smirk. She grinned back at him with a nod, "This is my little sister Charlie and this over here is the pain in the ass friend I keep telling you about."

"Hi. Jo." Jo grinned, shaking Castiel's hand.

"Castiel," Cas replied, looking between the two girls, "Well, Cas I guess since that's the nickname Dean seems to have given me."

"Yeah, he does that," Jo nods, "Doesn't like saying full names."

"Unless it's to annoy us," Sam's voice now called out from behind them. Dean turned to see Sam and Adam walking down the stairs to join them, "Your Impala seriously needs a check. Surely I shouldn't be able to hear the engine over the TV."

"There's nothing wrong with my baby," Dean pointed out, "It's a good ol' American muscle car."

"Too damn right." John grinned, walking in from the kitchen. Dean smiled, but instantly felt uncomfortable. Not only was he going to end up on the wrong side of his dad later, but this was a lot of people for Castiel to meet in one go.

"You're home early, Dad."

"Day off," John waved his son off, before pulling him into a manly hug, "So, Castiel. It's nice to meet you again. Mary will be with us, soon. She's on the phone." He didn't elaborate and nobody decided to ask John anymore.

"Why don't we go up to my room," Dean offered, turning back to his boyfriend, "We can drop off our bags."

Castiel nodded, not really sure what to do right now. Dean threw Jo a glance, motioning for her to follow them up the stairs. The three of them and Sammy walked up the stairs into Dean's room. He looked around and chuckled at the blow up mattress that had been placed at the foot of his bed.

"Looks like Mommy and Daddy think you'll be sleeping in separate beds," Jo winked, closing the door behind her as the four of them piled in, "Or are you still in separate beds?"

"I don't want to know the answer to that." Sam put his hand up, before sitting on his brother's bed. Dean took Castiel's bag and placed it and his own on the floor, while Castiel looked around the room.

"Have you spoken to Lisa at all?" Dean quickly asked, deciding to get the easiest of difficult subjects out of the way, "She won't talk to me."

"Not seen her at all," Sam shook his head, "Why isn't she talking to you? What did you do this time, Dean?"

"Nothing!" Dean looked at Sam, hurt at the accusation. Why did he have to have done something? He didn't miss the smirk from Castiel, as the guy obviously realized that Dean hadn't just been a jerk to him. He had a habit of being a jerk.

"Well, I see you two have made up," Jo smiled, "Did Dean apologize for being an idiot? It's a bad habit for him, so I hope you don't mind putting up with it. Oh and he's not the best to share a bed with if you haven't already tried."

"I didn't find him that bad the last time," Castiel frowned and then looked between the two friends, "You two have shared beds?"

"Oh have you not told him about our relationship?" Jo looked at Dean, almost with a guilty look on her face. Dean smiled and shook his head.

"Sorta." Dean explained to Castiel how the two were very good friends and often slept in the same bed at each other. But it was just a platonic thing.

"They're always fully dressed." Sam pointed out.

Castiel didn't seem certain by that remark, and Dean decided to get off the subject of beds and his relationship with Jo. Of course that wasn't easy when he and Jo fell into normal patterns. They both sat next to each other at the head of the bed, making Castiel watch them nervously. Jo glanced at Dean and then at Castiel, smirking apologetically. Sam couldn't help but snigger at the situation.

"So, you're telling Mom and Dad tonight?"

"Yeah," Dean nodded smiling over at Castiel. He looked so awkward at the moment, so he walked leaned forward to get him to come and sit on the bed with him, "You okay?"

Castiel nodded, looking around at the people in the room, "Just a little...I don't know. Out of sorts."

"Sorry, I guess we've thrown a lot on you." Jo apologized, sitting on Dean's desk and swinging her legs.

"No, just..." Cas sighed and looked over at Dean, "I know how you felt on the first day of school now."

Dean chuckled, with a nod of his head. He could guess that Castiel would feel a bit like a fish out of water. It definitely was how he'd felt on the first day of school when surrounded by Castiel's friends. And then during the suspension at first with Gabe and Anna. Luckily, it was just the two of them at the apartment. He was glad that he didn't have Castiel's best friend to contend with; especially a friend like Jo was to Dean.

"Well, how about we leave the two of you alone," Jo offered, "You can..."

"No, it's fine," Castiel shook his head, "I need to get used to you if I'm with Dean, right."

Jo grinned at that comment and then looked over at Dean, "He is a keeper."

By the time dinner was ready, the four of them were now getting on very well. Castiel had settled a little more in the room and was more relaxed around Jo and Sam. Adam and Charlie had joined them after a while, meaning that Dean and Castiel had to stop holding hands. Dean didn't want his brother and sister to find out this way. He'd already explained that he wanted to tell them separately, once he'd told his parents. It was going to be too much already. Luckily, that was something Castiel had completely understood, considering Adam and Charlie's ages.

"So, Castiel, that's an interesting name," Mary commented as they ate, "It's the name of an angel, right?"

"The Angel of Thursday, yes," Castiel nodded with a tilt of his head, "You know about angels?"

"I always told the boys that angels were looking over them." Mary smiled, glancing across at Dean. Dean missed his mother's eye contact, sure that she knew something was going on. Instead, he looked up at Sam trying to get his attention. He really needed his brother's support through this. That was when he felt a leg up against his, rubbing it gently. He glanced at Castiel with a smile.

"Everything okay, Dean?" John asked, obviously catching that the eldest Winchester brother was nervous about something, "It's not like you to be so quiet. You love the sound of your own voice."

Dean rolled his eyes with a chuckle, as Jo laughed out loud, "You know he talks in his sleep, right?"

"How would you know that?" Charlie asked Jo with a frown. Her eight-year-old innocence was showing through, and Dean waited for Jo to explain this one.

"We used to camp together, remember," Jo smiled, looking over at Dean with a smug smile, "I remember that time you were dreaming about some snakes all over the ground. You kept telling people that they couldn't get off the furniture because of all the poisonous snakes. You'd let this trap door open, only to let one out and then the rest took the piss by slithering out."

Sam laughed along with Jo, obviously she had told him the story too. Mary looked at Dean with a smile, and Dean couldn't help but see the smirk playing on Castiel's lips.

"When was that?" Adam asked, frowning.

"A few years ago, now," Jo smiled, "Before..." she cut off and looked between Dean, Sam, Mary and John, "Well, you know."

Dean frowned deeply, looking right at his plate. He knew exactly what Jo was going to bring up, and he wasn't going to go into that one. It was something he hadn't told Castiel about because he didn't like talking about it with anyone. Not even with his parents, brother or best friend.

"Do you remember the time that Dean and Sam went missing," John now decided to tell a story, "Mary, you were in hospital giving birth to Adam, so Dean must have only been eight at the time."

"Oh my God, yes!" Mary laughed. Jo clearly had not heard this story, and Dean couldn't help but groan. He and Sam shared a look that made it clear they knew exactly what this story was all about.

"Sammy broke his arm jumping off the garage roof." John explained to the ones that hadn't heard the story yet.

"Dean did it first!" Sam argued.

"I was eight," Dean pointed out, "And I was dressed as Superman. You were Batman and everyone knows that Batman can't fly."

Jo and Castiel started chuckling at the story, possibly imagining Dean and Sam pretending to be superheroes for the day.

"Anyway, the babysitter called me to say that Dean and Sam had gone missing," John continued with the story, "I was livid but couldn't do much. Mary was in labor at the time with Adam, and I didn't want to panic her."

"Where were they?" Castiel asked, looking between the four people who knew the story.

"I'd rode Sam to the hospital myself," Dean explained, "He was on my handlebars because we were so scared of getting told off by the babysitter. She was a battleaxe."

"They came to find us once Sam had his pot on his arm," Mary sighed, "That was when I found out that John had kept them going missing a secret the whole time."

"Dad tore us a new one," Sam laughed, "Well, he tore Dean a new one. I had a pot on my arm, so he felt sorry for me."

"I did not feel sorry for you," John pointed out, "I just knew Dean would have been the one to come up with the plan. You have always been the troublemaker."

Dean had to agree with that. In fact, he knew that it had been his decision to take Sam to the hospital on his bike. Not the best idea in the world, but it got the job done.

"You realize that this is what you have to look forward to." Jo smirked at Castiel, her voice low enough so that nobody else would hear. Dean caught it, though, and chuckled at his best friend.

It wasn't much longer before dinner was over and it was time for dessert. Adam and Charlie were allowed to eat that in the living room, while the adults continued their conversation. This was Dean's chance to tell his parents the truth about his sexuality and his relationship with Castiel.

"So, how's work, Dad?" Dean asked, earning a glare from Jo and Sam.

"It's not too bad," John smiled, "I hear you're not gonna be sticking around to help me out during the summer. Your Mom says San Francisco is possibly on the cards depending on this whole thing with Lisa."

"Yeah, maybe, but I'll be around in the summer," Dean nodded, "I'll need to save up for some expenses at college anyway. That's if you still want me."

"Could do with your hand, I think," John nodded, "Caleb had an accident and has smashed his hand up pretty bad."

"At work?"

"No!" John suddenly realized how it had sounded, "I think he was hunting. God knows what that boy does in his spare time."

"Have you and Lisa come to a decision yet?" Mary asked, glancing over at Castiel. She didn't want to delve too much into this, unsure of whether Dean had told his former roommate.

"Not quite," Dean shook his head, "But I'm just concentrating on school right now. Cas is helping me with math. The SATs aren't that far away now."

"Well, I'm glad to hear that," Mary smiled, "It looks like Ellen getting you into that school was the best thing to happen to you."

Dean couldn't help but looked at Castiel with a smile, nodding his head, "Yeah, definitely some good."

Jo and Sam used this chance to encourage Dean to tell Mary and John the one thing that he'd been dancing around, "Hey, Deano, what about that whole reason you wanted me over here?"

"Yeah, you have news for Mom and Dad." Sam hinted, making Dean frown and narrow his eyes at his little brother. He then looked at his parents and sighed. They were now clearly expecting some big news. All he could do was look down at his food, playing with the pie.

"Dean, are you okay?" Mary asked, "You haven't eaten any of your pie and that's definitely not like you."

"Yeah, pie's his favorite, Cas." Jo smirked.

"He'd kill for pie." Sam agreed with a laugh, making John chuckle. Dean couldn't help but chuckle, too.

"What did you want to tell John and me?" Mary asked. That comment right there had Dean chuckling for another reason. She had never called him Dean's dad, ever. It had always been John. But that wasn't something he was going to think about right now. He had to get through this right now.

"Well, you see, I'm...erm..." he looked up at Sam, who nodded his head. His attention then went to Jo and Castiel, but with supportive smiles, "I'm...erm...Cas and I are together."

"Together?" John as with a frown, but Dean knew he'd understood. So had his mom. Mary was looking between the two boys, confused at first but then it all sunk in.

"As in together together," Dean sighed, "I'm...I like guys. I still like girls but I like guys, too."

"Okay..." Mary slowly spoke, looking between the four teenagers at the table, "You two knew about this?"

"Yeah, Mom." Sam nodded his head. Dean just waited for his parents to say something to him, but there was nothing. Biting his lip, he looked between them to try and judge their expressions. His ability to read Mary was fine, and he could see that she would eventually accept it. John was going to be the issue. His eyes were already full of confusion and—it looked like disgust.

"Oh, Dean," Mary smiled, standing up and walking over to her eldest son. She kissed him on his cheek, "Honey, that's fine. As long as you're happy."

Dean sighed with relief. One down, one to go.

"Dad?"

John shook his head, pushing his plate away, "I can't...I can't...not right now."

"Dad?" Dean tried again as John stood up. Dean got up to his feet, but barely moved from the spot.

"Did we bring this on you?" John now asked, turning back to face everyone at the table, "I mean, this all boy's school. Did that school do this? Or is this a punishment for us sending you there?"

Dean frowned, shaking his head. Why would he punish them for that? They had to find him somewhere for his senior year. Homeschooling wasn't working and they'd ran out of options for public school. The eldest Winchester brother looked around the room for some support, but Castiel was now playing with his own food, Jo playing with her hands and Sam and Mary were looking at each other in fear and shock.

"And you're with him?" John now pointed at Castiel. That's when the dark-haired boy shot his own head up. Now he was getting pulled into this, "You two share a room. You're sharing a room here...It's disgusting, Dean!"

"Dad, it's..." Dean started, but he was cut off by John.

"No, it's disgusting and you know it. That's why you struggled to tell us. You know, you getting Lisa pregnant I could just about accept. Lord knows you're not exactly celibate. You don't think I've heard you when you've snuck girl's over?"

"John..." Mary cut in, but John wasn't going to let her.

"But, this. I can't accept this. I can't allow this."

"Dad, I love him," Dean sighed, his eyes burning from the threat of tears, "And Castiel loves me."

John shook his head again, looking between the two of them, "You're too young for love. You're 18."

"But that's old enough to be a dad?"

Of course, John went onto a rant about how Dean should be putting the kid up for adoption. 18 was too young for a lot of things.

"Why can't you be supportive of me?" Dean asked, shaking his head.

"Because no son of mine is going to be gay!" John finally shouted, walking out of the house. There was a clang of metal hitting the plate, as Castiel now dropped his fork. Sam looked at Dean in shock, as Jo didn't really know what to do. Mary placed her hand on Dean's shoulder, but he had completely lost it.

He stepped forward just before his dad got to the front door, "Well, it's a good job I'm not your son, then, isn't it, John?"

John turned back just so Dean could see the fire in his eyes. That was the last thing Dean should have ever said to the man who had raised him as a son, but right now it was the only comeback he had. Everything that John had just said hurt Dean deeply. He knew his dad was traditional, but he at least hoped for some support.

* * *

**I have been wondering if any of you have been picking up on the little cues that John isn't Dean's biological dad. Those who read the Charmed version of this story would have likely seen this turn of events, but those who haven't read it, I'd be interested to know if you pick up on some of the little hints in various chapters. It isn't something Dean really likes talking about and his past will come up in the next few chapters.  
**

**Anyway, I really hope you enjoyed this. It was about time Dean came out to his parents and it definitely shows just how much he cares for Castiel, right?**


	28. Chapter 28

**Thank you for your reviews! I'm really sorry I haven't had the chance to reply to everyone personally. I do try, and just because I don't manage to doesn't mean that I'm not reading. I love that so many of you are invested in this story, just like I am.**

**Here's the next chapter to see how Dean deals with the aftermath of coming out to his parents.**

**Caution: this chapter does have mentions of rape. I'm really sorry if that upsets anyone.**

Chapter 28

Dean rushed out of the house through the kitchen. He needed to blow off steam, and the small garden out back would just be enough. He kicked one of his mom's gnomes across the garden before throwing the plastic deck chair in the same direction.

"Dean?" Castiel's voice made Dean stop his tantrum. Looking over, he saw the worried, fear and sadness in his boyfriend's blue eyes, "I'm sorry about that. If I'd have known, I'd have..."

"It wasn't your fault," Dean shook his head, just as Jo, Sam and Mary joined them in the garden, "It was John."

"You know he didn't mean it," Mary sighed, "John is..."

"He meant it," Dean nodded his head, "Please don't make excuses for him, Mom. You make excuses for far too many people. I just...I..."

Dean growled, throwing another plastic deck chair across the garden, making Mary flinch. Even Jo flinched at Dean's show of anger, and Sam and Castiel had weary looks in their eyes. Dean then turned his attention to the garage wall and he punched it, yelling when he felt the pain shoot up his knuckles and into his hand.

"Dean!" Mary shouted at her son, rushing over to him and grabbing his hand. She looked at him, clearly heartbroken from the look in her brown eyes, "Oh, sweetie. Let's get this cleaned up."

"I'm fine, Mom." Dean tried to pull his arm away, but Mary wasn't having any of it. Deciding that he really didn't want any of her sympathy, he pushed her back to pull his arm back again. Mary yelled as she lost her footing. Sam rushed over to his mom, shouting out Dean's name angrily.

Dean shook his head and brushed past everyone in the garden, not really believing what he'd just done. Grabbing his keys from the hook, he went straight to his Impala. He needed to get away from here.

He had intended to drive alone, but Castiel joined him in the passenger seat and he clearly wasn't going anywhere.

"I'm not talking." Dean made it clear.

"You don't have to," Castiel shrugged his shoulders, "But I'm not leaving you alone right now."

With that, Dean turned over the engine and drove away from the house. He went to a quiet spot just between Lawrence and Topeka. It was far enough away from home, and quiet so he could think things through.

"So, John isn't your real dad?" Castiel had clearly gotten that much from the conversation. It was still not something Dean wanted to go into it, but he did own his boyfriend an explanation. In fact, his boyfriend needed to know what he was getting himself into.

"No," Dean shook his head, "Step-dad. He, erm, my real dad was an abusive bastard. Broke my mom down like crazy. John helped her get out of that relationship and then they stayed together afterwards."

"And Sam? He has the same dad as you?" Castiel asked, trying to understand Dean's family history.

Dean nodded his head and then sighed deeply, "Adam is John's."

"You know, I swear I've always heard you call him your dad. Sam has, too."

"That's because he has always been our dad. At least, that's the way we view him," Dean shrugged his shoulders, "It's not all about blood, ya know. One of the best men I know told me that family don't end with bloog."

"So, abusive dad," Castiel nodded, "Now I know why your mom and Sam were so scared when you left. I told them I'd help calm you do. Even Jo didn't want to come..."

"Jo's had to deal with my shit enough times," Dean sighed, pulling out his cigarettes and lighting up to try and calm his nerves, "She gets scared at some of my outbursts. A couple of years ago the abusive bastard turned back up. It threw me completely. I mean...I really don't like talking about this, Cas. It's a lot of shit."

"Well, I'm here to listen," Castiel offered, "Why don't you try and let it all out? It might help."

"You won't want to hear," Dean shook his head, "Sometimes I think I'm turning into him. You know, you spend all this time telling yourself you're not going to turn out to be like someone and then...fuck, look at what I did to my mom. Like she will ever forgive me for that. She put up with that...that sperm donor doing that to her for years and now..."

Dean got out of the car, slamming the Impala door behind him. It wasn't long before he heard the passenger door creaking open and then closing. Rustling over the grass told him that Castiel was coming around the car. Not that Dean wanted to face him right now. Those tears from earlier were back, his eyes burning like crazy. He couldn't let them fall, though. He wouldn't feel sorry for himself right now.

"Your mom won't hate you," Castiel placed a hand on Dean's shoulder, "She'll forgive you. Understand that..."

"Don't you see? That's the problem!" Dean swung around, glaring at Castiel, "She'll forgive me and pretend that it didn't happen. That's just what she did with that asshole. She forgave him time and time again, while he pounded his fists into her. I still remember it."

"You saw it?"

"A couple of times," Dean admitted, "I was four, so some of its blurry but there's one night I'll never forget. I was in my mom's closet trying on her shoes—maybe I should have guessed then that I was bisexual," Dean and Castiel chuckled at the comment before Dean continued, "Well, I was hiding when _he_ pushed her into the bedroom, hitting her about as he did. He...it all escalated. I don't even remember what their fight was about. I guess it was nothing, just him being a drunken asshole. Well, he...he pinned her on the bed and..."

"He raped her?" Castiel frowned deeply, as Dean allowed the tears drop from his eyes. Castiel's hands went up to his hands, trying to hide the shock that was now all over his face. That shock was quickly replaced by sadness and sympathy. Dean didn't want to see that, so he turned back around, taking a long drag from his cigarette.

"I think I get it," Castiel now broke the silence, "Why you didn't want me making excuses for Cain beating me before Christmas. This is why."

Dean didn't nod his head, but he knew it wasn't a question. Castiel was finally understanding everything that was going through his head.

"It's also why I beat the crap outta Michael. Why I got expelled," Dean sighed, "He hurt Jo and I, well, I made it clear that I wouldn't let the people I love get hurt. But now...I'm turning into something I don't want to be, Cas. I'm becoming him."

"No, you're not," Castiel shook his head, "You've never hit me. And you're getting better at controlling your anger. You took it out on the chairs and a wall rather than anyone else. You could have gone after John."

Dean didn't believe Castiel, though. He refused to look at him in the eyes, so Castiel forced him. Before Dean knew it, Castiel was locking lips with him. He quickly pulled away, grabbing Castiel's hands.

"No, Cas..."

"You're not your father, Dean," Castiel shook his head, "I'd know by now if you were."

With that, Castiel kissed Dean again, pulling him towards the Impala. Quickly putting the cigarette out, Dean allowed himself to be pulled to the car. He pushed Castiel up against his baby, pushing his hips into him.

"Mmm, Dean," Castiel moaned, "Don't do that unless..."

Dean smirked against Castiel's mouth, as he opened the back door to the Impala, "Get in, then."

* * *

It was a few hours later that Dean finally felt calm enough to return home. He wasn't sure what to expect when he got there, but Castiel held his hand to support him.

"It will be okay." He assured, but Dean really wasn't that sure. Castiel still didn't know everything; didn't know the crap that Dean had pulled over the last couple of years. He wasn't going to go into all that, at least not right now.

As soon as he opened the door, he expected to have glaring eyes on him. Instead, the house was quiet. A little too quiet. There was no light on in the living room—Dean had seen that from the path—so he assumed everyone was in the kitchen. That was if Mary was even still up and Jo was still here. It could just be Sam up.

When he opened the door, he felt awful for the look in his mom's eyes. She had been crying, whether over the incident or Dean running off like that.

"Oh, Dean." Mary sighed, rushing over to Dean and pulling him into a hug. She'd obviously been crying with worry. It was like everything had been forgotten about, and that didn't sit easy with the teenager. Feeling himself pulled into his mother, he couldn't help but hug her back.

"I'm so sorry, Mom," he admitted, "I didn't mean...what happened out there, I have no excuse. But I promise—and I mean it—I won't do that again."

"Oh sweetie, you shocked me, that's all," Mary pulled her son away, looking into his bright green eyes, "I shouldn't have tried..."

"No, you do not make excuses for me. Do not blame yourself, please," Dean begged her, "That's what you did with him and..." he then looked up at Jo and Sam, who were both still in the room, "I'm not going to turn into him."

"We know that, Dean." Sam nodded his head, but Dean could see a look in Jo's eyes that told him something different. She may not have known Dean and Sam's real dad, but she'd heard stories. She may have even heard stories from Ellen, since Ellen and Bill had been friends with him at one point. But Jo also knew the shit that Dean had gotten into—all the shit he'd gotten into.

"Is Dad back yet?" Dean now asked, looking between his mom, brother and best friend.

"Not yet," Mary shook her head, "He'll be out at the Roadhouse. You know that. Bobby will talk some sense into him. Lord knows that man needs some sense talking into him at times."

Dean smiled uneasily, and then sense the presence behind him. He'd completely forgotten about Castiel while talking to his mom. Quickly turning around, he grabbed Castiel's hand and caught the smile on his mom's face.

"So, you've not got a problem with this?"

"Oh, sweetie. I just want you to be happy," Mary sighed, "But now I do understand why you kept saying you couldn't be with Lisa. You know you still have that...you have told Castiel about that, right?"

"Yeah, Mom," Dean nodded his head, "He knows everything."

"Yes, Mrs. Winchester..."

"It's still Mary, Castiel," Mary smiled at the young teenager, "Now, what am I going to do with you two and that room you're sharing. I guess there was no point in the airbed, was there?"

Dean frowned but Mary gave him a knowing look. He just chuckled at the situation and nodded his head.

* * *

**It definitely wasn't an easy chapter to write, especially Dean opening up to Castiel. Again, all of this has been planned from the start and it brings in some of the storyline from the original boarding school story I wrote in the Charmed universe.  
**

**If you stuck around this long, I'd love to hear your thoughts. Please R&amp;R**


	29. Chapter 29

**Another chapter and I'm so close to the end...just three more chapters after this!**

Chapter 29

"Tell me about your parents." Dean finally said as the two laid in bed together. They'd not fallen asleep yet, neither really could after the events of the night. But Dean had decided he didn't want to still be up when John came back home. He couldn't deal with his dad while drunk and angry. Dean wasn't too certain of his own actions. Mary was the best to deal with his drunk father.

"There's not much to tell," Castiel sighed, keeping his head on Dean's chest. The younger boy knew that this was going to be a difficult subject, but he really needed to hear something. He'd gone into his past and his messed up family, "I didn't know my dad. My mom was great, I guess. She cared for me. Provided me and Gabe with everything we needed. I don't think I was really wanted, though."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, haven't you ever wondered why there's such a big age gap between Gabriel and I?" Castiel asked, "He wasn't the accident."

"Oh," Dean frowned, mentally kicking himself for bringing something like this up. Maybe he would have been better just accepting that he was going to have to open up and Castiel wouldn't, "But my mom did what she could. It wasn't easy being a single mom. It's why I chose the boarding school when it came to high schools."

"You chose to go there?"

"Yeah," Castiel now sat up, "I wanted to be a boarding school brat."

Dean chuckled at that comment, seeing the ear-reaching grin on Castiel's face. It was sarcasm, but there was a hint of truth, "Nah, it just meant I got away, ya know. I was able to get out of her hair, and she didn't have to worry about me."

"Except for getting in trouble." Dean pointed out, knowing that their suspension earlier that year wasn't their first.

"Well, that didn't start really until after her death. At least, the suspensions didn't," Castiel admitted, "I guess once she was gone, I didn't really feel the need to behave all the time. I wanted to...I don't know. I was a stupid kid—I still am a stupid kid."

"You speak with such wisdom, Cas." Dean chuckled, pulled Castiel back down to his chest so they could get comfy again. He drew patterns on Castiel's back, while he thought about everything. What were they going to do if John could never accept this? What if he grew apart from the man he had called dad for so long?

"Do you wanna talk about your dad?" Castiel asked, "I mean, John...I'm sorry, I guess..."

"He is my dad, Cas," Dean sighed, "That's what makes all this so hard. He took me and Sammy in. He married my mom knowing that she had two kids—and one who was so messed up from seeing so much shit go on. He raised us as his own."

"_John, where have you been?"_

"_Where is he?"_

Dean and Castiel quickly separated and Dean threw his t-shirt back on as he heard his parents downstairs. John still sounded angry and upset. That wasn't a good sign. The only good thing was that he didn't sound that drunk.

"_John, calm down, please," _Mary's voice pleaded from down the hallway, _"All of them are in bed. We need to talk."_

"_No, I need to talk to Dean, Mary."_ John replied before there was a knock on the bedroom door. Dean frowned, not expecting that. He assumed his dad would force his way into the room. Getting off the bed, Dean quickly opened the door to see John on the other side. Mary was just behind him, a worried look in her brown eyes.

"Hi, Dad." Dean decided to start, trying to stay calm. He wanted to stay calm for everyone.

"So, I'm Dad again," John frowned, glancing over at Castiel who was laid in the bed. He closed his eyes, shaking his head before he continued, "Good, because...well...because you're still my boy. And I'm...well...ya know. I'm..."

"Really?" Dean asked with a frown, glancing at his mom and then back at John, "You're..."

"Don't make me say this, boy," John sighed, but Dean wasn't budging. He wanted John to say it because he wanted to know what he was going to say. Was he apologizing? Saying he accepted this? Telling him to get the fuck out of his house? Granted the last one was very unlikely, but there was always that chance and Dean wasn't jumping to conclusions, "Fine. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the way I acted and...I shouldn't have said what I did. Can we please talk? Downstairs, maybe? All of us?"

Dean glanced behind him at Castiel, who was now getting out of the bed with a cautious look on his face. He then looked at his mom, who was shocked by John's words; but it was a happy shock.

"Okay," Dean nodded his head, "We'll be down in five."

John nodded his head once before walking down the stairs. Mary and Dean were lost for words, just looking at each other, shocked at the turn of events. Neither expected that to happen, but both were equally as happy that it had.

"What was that about?" Sam asked, poking his head out of his own bedroom. Dean looked across the hall with a small smile on his face.

"Nothing, go to bed, Sammy."

"But...Was that Dad?"

"Go back to bed, sweetheart," Mary smiled at her middle son and then looked back at Dean, "C'mon you."

Dean took his time getting into the living room. Despite feeling like John was going to accept this, he was still a bag of nerves. He couldn't even remember the last time he'd felt this nervous. Not in front of John, anyway. Telling them about the pregnancy wasn't this bad.

Finally, he made it into the living room, Castiel just behind him. _How is Cas going to feel about with all this,_ he suddenly thought to himself. But he didn't have time to check, as he heard his dad clear his throat.

"Dad, about earlier. I'm really sorry..."

"No, son," John shook his head, "It's should be me who apologizes. I shouldn't have acted the way I did. I should have accepted you for who you are. I've only ever asked you to be honest with yourself about who you are, and I...well...I shouldn't have."

Dean raised his eyebrows. Hearing the man apologize was not normal. He was a marine—and they had a mentality of not apologizing to anyone, especially not a "subordinate," and Dean technically classed as one of them.

"But I shouldn't have said what I did."

"You had every right," John spoke, glancing at Mary before continuing, "You were right. I'm not your dad."

"But you are," Dean sighed, rubbing the back of his head. Neither of them were very good at talking like this. Those who didn't know about Mary's first husband would have guessed John and Dean were father and son, "You've always been my dad. Well, since...you know..."

John smiled softly at Dean's words, "And you and Cas...I think I can deal. I don't want to hear anything, you understand me?"

"Dad!" Dean groaned, moving uncomfortably on the spot.

"Let me finished, Dean," John cut his moans off, "Bobby knocked some sense into my tonight. I can accept the two of you. Lord knows, I accepted Mark when he came out. I just...it was a shock to hear that you...I never expected it Dean."

"I know, Sir," Dean nodded, "I didn't expect it, either."

"I do have one question for you, though," John said, looking into Dean's eyes. This question required the truth, and Dean ran through all the possible ones that he was going to be asked. One that he never expected was the one that came out of John's mouth, "Are you still the young man Mary and I have raised you to be?"

Taken aback, Dean looked at John, until finally nodded his head, "Yes, sir."

"So, I have Bobby to thank for you coming back home relatively sober?" Mary smirked at her husband.

"I didn't touch a drop in the end, Mary," John smiled and then looked at Dean, "I had to tell you that I accept you two being together while sober. I owed you that after what I said."

"Wait, Dean and Castiel are together?"

The four in the room turned around in shock, looking at the stairs. Between the railings, Dean could make out the red hair of his baby sister.

"Charlie!"

"Oh my God! This is epic!"

* * *

**I know it's just a short chapter, but a necessary one. Over the next couple of chapters there are more people finding out that Dean and Cas are together...I look forward to telling the story.  
**


	30. Chapter 30

**Hi everyone. Thank you again for your support. I love reading your reviews. I know there are a lot of tears about Charlie...but she's here in this fic yay! Even if she is 8!**

**VonZenhousen: yes, Charlie is adopted in this. It was mentioned right at the start of the fic.  
**

**Anyway, I'm really getting close to the end now. Two chapters left after this. I've stalled a bit on the sequel but I'll start it very soon. It may mean slower updates as I get back on a roll with it. Surprisingly, it's because I'm writing from Castiel's point of view that's caused some of the problems, as well as this one ending not quite the way I originally planned. Seriously, if you could see all the alternate endings and deleted scenes I have on my computer...it's ridiculous! So many ideas but they just didn't work.**

**Anyway, enough of that and I'll get on with the update.**

Chapter 30

Dean's eyes widened at his little sister's words. She thought it was epic? What would she know about love, relationships and everything else? She was 10 years younger that him.

"Dean likes boys," Charlie smirked, rushing down the stairs to look between the two teenagers, "You two like kissing each other?"

"Got a problem with that, squirt?" Dean narrowed his eyes, trying not to laugh at his sister's reaction. It was much better than he had expected. Now it was just Adam they had to find a way to tell.

"Like I said, it's epic," Charlie smirked, hugging Dean tightly. At her height, she was just tall enough to wrap her arms around his waist, "I'd love you no matter what, jerk. But that means your boyfriend is staying in your room."

"Uh huh." Dean nodded his head, glancing back at his parents. Charlie looked around her big brother, eyebrows raised.

"You're letting him. He wasn't allowed to have girlfriends in his room."

"Why don't you get back up to bed, young lady," Mary placed her hands on her hips, "We'll talk about this in the morning."

Charlie knew when not to argue, and made her way back up the stairs to her room. At least, Dean presumed she was going there. He'd probably find her in the hallway listening into the rest of the conversation.

"About that," John now started talking again, making Dean look back around at his parents, "You two...I don't want to hear anything and not for the obvious reason. Charlie is right. If Cas was a girl, you wouldn't be allowed to sleep with her in your room. You know that, Dean. We've been lenient with Jo because...well, we know you two are just friends...but..."

"I know, Dad," Dean nodded and then looked at his mom, "You want us separated?"

"Is there any point?" Mary asked with a sigh, "You share a room at school, don't you?"

"Used to," Castiel shrugged his shoulders, earning a frown from Dean. He hadn't told him mom about switching rooms, "Dean had to switch because of football training. He's sharing a room with a teammate now, worried that he was waking me up really early."

"Well, that was thoughtful," Mary nodded, "But you were sharing a room and I don't want to think about what you both got up to. But we hear anything that we shouldn't and we will split you up. Understand?"

"Yes, Mom." Dean nodded with a grin.

* * *

It all seemed to be working out for Dean. His dad was accepting him, his mom had no issue, and even Adam had accepted the news. It didn't really bother him. At 10-years-old, he found it better that it meant there'd be no girls around to give them cooties!

Spring break was going much easier than he'd planned. Now all he needed to do was talk to Lisa about the pregnancy. That was the trickiest part, since he couldn't really take Cas along with him to do it. They'd still not really discussed what they'd do if Lisa decided to take the baby. Dean didn't really want to think about that.

Leaving Castiel to hang out with Sam and Jo, Dean made his way over to Lisa's grandmothers to see if she'd talk to him face to face. There were just a few weeks left. They _needed_ to make this decision like yesterday!

"Oh, Dean," Lisa's grandmother smiled from the rocking chair on the porch. He walked over to her with a small smile on her face, "I thought you'd be here much sooner."

"Only got out for spring break a couple of days ago," Dean replied, helping the old woman up so they could both walk into the house, "Is Lisa around?"

"She's in her room, sweetheart," Mrs. Braeden replied, making her way around her own kitchen, "Go on up. You know where everything is if you want something."

"Thanks, ma'am." Dean smiled, before rushing up the stairs to see his ex-girlfriend. He was in two minds once he did get to the door. Did he knock or could he walk straight in? What if she was up to something private? But then, what could she possibly do while eight months pregnant?

Deciding that knocking was better, he waited to be told that he could come in. Once he was, he flashed Lisa his pearly white grin, "Hey you."

"Oh, it's you." Lisa rolled her eyes, laying down on the bed. Her arm was protectively around her stomach, as she tried to read something on her Kindle.

"Nice to see you too, Lise." Dean couldn't help but frown at the icy tone to her voice. She clearly didn't want him here—well, it was tough.

"What do you want, Dean?" Lisa asked, now sitting up on the bed, glaring at the man who had got her pregnant, "I thought you'd got it that I don't want to talk about this."

"You don't wanna talk about this?" Dean asked with a laugh, "Are you shitting me, Lisa. This is my baby, too. What the hell are you thinking? I need to talk to you about this. Why have you been ignoring me?"

"Because I don't want to talk about this with you," Lisa shrugged her shoulders, "I've made up my mind now, and I don't want you to have any part of it."

"What?" Dean asked, taken aback. For the last few months she'd told him that he could have a say. She was onboard with their options, and even seemed like she knew adoption was their best option. And now she'd decided that he wasn't going to get this chance. Hell if he was going to end up being a sperm donor. That wasn't going to happen!

"I don't want you to be part of this and _my_ son's life, Dean," Lisa told him, "I thought you got that idea when you stopped trying to call me."

"I stopped calling because I was fed up of voicemail," Dean growled, "I decided we could talk now. I even left you a message to tell you...you haven't been listening to my messages, have you?"

Dean shook his head with a humorless laugh, as Lisa made it clear that every single one of his voicemails and texts had been deleted without listening or reading. She wasn't interested in anything he had to say. None of this was making sense. None of it at all.

"I don't want you involved, Dean," Lisa repeated again, "This is my decision and I want you to leave."

"That's not gonna happen, Lisa," Dean shook his head, "This is my baby, too. We need to have this conversation. Is it adoption? You don't want to go through with that?"

Lisa didn't answer. She just looked at the floor, and that irritated Dean even more.

"Lisa, talk to me," he knelt down on the floor in front of Lisa, looking into her eyes, "Will you tell me what's going on right now? What are you thinking? You were up for me being involved. I want to be—I'm not gonna be some dead-beat dad. What happened to adoption?"

"I don't want a couple of strangers raising my baby," Lisa shook her head, tears now falling down her cheeks, "I don't wanna give him up. But I don't want you to give up your life, either. You're going to college, Dean. You're playing football like you've dreamed of for a long time. I should never have told you about this. God, if it wasn't for Jo fucking seeing me at the New Year, you'd probably have never found out."

"You weren't gonna tell me?" Dean asked with a frown, "But I thought..."

"I lied to you, okay?" Lisa laughed, "I lied when I said I was gonna tell you. Hell, I could be lying about it being yours."

"What?" Dean asked, standing up with his frown deepening. His heart was now pounding, as he worked out what was going on in his ex-girlfriend's head, "What do you mean?"

"You're not that stupid, Dean," Lisa fired at him, venom in her voice, "We weren't exclusive. You made that clear all the time. Well, you weren't the only one sleeping around. There are plenty of guys this could belong to."

"You're lying." Dean shook his head, narrowing his green eyes. One thing he knew was Lisa didn't sleep around. She'd given up her virginity to Dean and he was the only one she'd slept with. If she had slept with others, he'd have found out about it. Someone—anyone—would have told him otherwise. It wouldn't have bothered him (too much) but he would have known.

"Am I?" Lisa asked, tilting her head, "Do you really wanna test that theory."

Dean shook his head, glaring at her with anger in his eyes. She was pushing him away. All he wanted to do was do right by her, and she was stopping him from doing it. After last night, he'd had enough. He wasn't going to fight anymore, especially not with a woman who was eight months pregnant.

"You know what, Lise? Fine. Be like that. You don't want me in your life then that's fine. You wanna pretend that my kid ain't my kid, do it. We'll see how long it lasts. We both know the truth. When you're done being all hormonal, come and talk to me and we'll discuss this like adults."

Giving up, Dean walked out of the room, slamming the bedroom door behind him. He ignored the questioning calls from Lisa's grandmother, heading straight for the Impala. He wouldn't let anyone see what he was doing. Wouldn't let them see the tears that were threatening to fall from his cheeks. He couldn't. He was Dean Winchester, damn it!

* * *

Pulling up at the house, Dean turned off the engine but didn't get out of the car. Finally, after refusing to do it for so long, Dean let the tears fall. Well, it wasn't really tears and it definitely wasn't a gushing of water works. It was one or two tears that fell, as he tried to take in everything that had happened.

Lisa was giving him an out. Really, he should be grateful, but he was angry as hell. He didn't want an out. Not like this.

This out meant that he'd never see his son. Ever. Lisa didn't want him to be a dad, and he just couldn't do that. He wanted—he deserved—to be a part of his kid's life if she was going to keep the baby. He really thought they'd had the perfect option when Gabe and Anna said they wanted to adopt his kid. It was a great option for all.

But now Lisa had just thrown that great option in all their faces. She'd kicked Dean out and cut him out of their kid's life.

Chipping sounds at his passenger window caught Dean's attention, pulling him out of his thoughts. He looked up to see Jo getting into the car.

"Hey, Winchester," Jo raised her eyebrows, "So, I caught you sitting out here looking all miserable and decided you needed someone to talk to. What's going on? You see Lisa?"

"Erm, yeah," Dean nodded his head with a frown, "Did Cas see me?"

"Yeah. He wanted to come out but I convinced him to stay with Sammy," Jo smirked, "What did Lisa say? You don't…wait a minute, have you been crying?"

Dean quickly wiped his face, trying to get rid of the evidence of his tears, but she'd already seen. It wasn't like she'd tell anyone, but she would have a dig about this in private. He could handle that, just about. Once everything in his head had stopped swimming.

"What happened, Dean?"

"She kicked me out," Dean mumbled, "Lisa fucking Braeden kicked me out. Wants nothing to do with me."

"But your kid…"

"Yeah, she wants me to have nothing to do with him, too. Guess she thinks she's giving me the out I've kinda been looking for but I never—never—wanted the out like this." Dean went on to tell Jo all about the 'talk' they'd had and how he'd stormed out. Jo didn't judge him or ask any questions. She just sat and listened, and Dean had to admit that it felt good to get it all off his chest. This was why he and Jo made the best of best friends.

"What do I tell Cas?" Dean asked with a sigh, "I mean, what about Gabe and Anna? They're gonna be heartbroken. I shouldn't have…"

"You're seriously concerned about that?" Jo asked, anger fuelling her thoughts, "That bitch is gonna stop you from seeing your own kid, and you're more concerned about Cas' brother and his girlfriend? Seriously? Why aren't you angry?"

"I am angry...I was angry...I just..." Dean placed his head on the steering wheel and sobbed, "I don't know what to do, Jo. I wanna be angry but...what can I do? It's not like I can do anything. Not right now, anyway.

"Lisa's a bitch," Jo said, rubbing her best friend's back, "This is the dumbest move she's ever made, and being with you was a dumb move in the first place. But you're right. There's not much you can do. _Right now_." She made it clear that he needed to focus on that right now part. There was hope for the future.

"Anyway, you need to get inside before Sammy tells Cas anymore of your secrets," Jo smirked, "We've already had some fun about that curtains phase you went through."

Dean shot up with shock in his eyes. Did they really tell him about that? Would they do that to him? Who was he kidding, this was Jo and Sammy. Of course they did! He was gonna kill them.

* * *

Dean didn't want to talk to anyone else about what had happened. Jo had agreed to keep it quiet for now, too. But he would have to talk to Castiel about it eventually. He'd need to break the news to Gabriel and Anna.

That wasn't going to be easy, and Dean felt like such a dick. He shouldn't have brought them in on it, but then that had been partially Castiel's fault. Cas had brought up the plan and Dean had gone along with it. He'd been so focused on what he wanted that he hadn't thought of the others around him. He was a jerk. A complete jerk. Sometimes, he really wished he could turn the clock back and undo so much crap that he'd done.

"Hey, so Ash text me. He's having a party tonight," Jo said, looking up from her phone, swivelling on Dean's desk chair, "You're coming, right? You're bringing Cas."

Dean glanced over at Castiel, who was sitting next to him on his bed. Their backs both against the headboard, as they listened to the music in the room.

"You wanna go?" Dean offered, "You can meet my friends."

"Friends, huh?" Castiel smirked, "I was starting to wonder if you had any friends, except for Jo."

The comment threw both Dean and Jo. Looking at Cas confused, Dean questioned what he meant. Castiel couldn't help but chuckle and turned his attention to Jo, "He doesn't refer to his teammates as friends. At least, I've never heard him refer to them as friends."

"That's because those dicks aren't friends," Dean chuckled, "Although Zach found out about Lisa and hasn't told the whole school about it. Guess he can be decent when he wants to be."

Castiel scoffed at that remark. Out of the whole team, Zach and Cain had been the worst. They'd both liked taunting Castiel the most, so he couldn't believe that the team captain had a decent bone in his body. Dean smirked at Castiel's disgusted face and then continued, "But yes, I have friends."

Dean then thought about Ash's parties and glanced at Jo. There was the subject of Michael and Balthazar being there. Not that Dean would care, but he didn't want too much trouble. He didn't want the temptation of putting both of them in hospital.

"Ash tries to ban them but, well, Ash is notorious for not being completely in control." Jo shrugged her shoulders, making it clear that there were high chances both of them would be there. Dean glanced at Castiel again, wondering whether he would really want to go.

"I want to meet your friends." Castiel nodded, making it clear that skipping on the party wasn't a good idea. Dean couldn't help but feel the nerves build up as he anticipated some of the comments and stares that he was about to get that night.

* * *

**I'd love to know what you thought of the chapter. The next two are going to be full of drama as Dean and Cas go to the party and deal with the aftermath. Eek!  
**


	31. Chapter 31

**We are getting so close to the end now. Thanks for those who have continued to support me through this. I love seeing that people enjoy it enough to follow and favorite it, even if you prefer not to leave a public review. I've had a few come through the messages and I do thank you for them.**

**This is a relatively short chapter gearing up for the final one on Friday. I'm really anxious about what you'll think about the way I've ended this. I have a feeling people will want to lynch me, but please remember there is a sequel coming. It's not ALL bad news :)**

Chapter 31

"Dude! You made it!" Ash grinned, stumbling over to the door as Dean walked into the house with Castiel and Jo. Dean chuckled at the sight.

"You've started already I see," Dean laughed, trying to stand his friend up straight, "Thought you'd at least wait for me." Ash brushed his friend off, before looking over at Castiel. He narrowed his eyes, pointing at him.

"That's not Sam."

"No shit, Sherlock," Dean rolled his eyes, "This is a friend from school. Castiel. This is Ash."

"It's his place." Jo said, as if the clarification needed to be made. Castiel held out his hand to shake Ash's but the blonde-haired rocker just pulled Castiel into a hug. Dean and Jo laughed at Castiel's wide eyes. They hadn't warned him that Ash was sometimes overly friendly.

"Any friend of Dean's is a friend of mine." Ash said, before pointing at the red cup in his hand. He motioned towards the back of the room, going to fill his own up. It also signified that the three teenagers needed to get their own drinks.

Dean looked around the house, seeing the group of teenagers. He instantly spotted some of the guys from his old football team at Lawrence High and walked over to them. It was like being back at school. The boys all cheered as Dean walked over to them, hugging him like they had at Christmas.

"I thought you said you'd call when you got back, man!" One of the boys, Victor, shouted over the music that had suddenly been turned up, "Thought we were gonna play some touch football."

"Yeah, sorry man," Dean shook his head, pointing over at Castiel and Jo, who were hanging back. Dean felt a little guilty for leaving Castiel to talk to old friends, but it was easier to do this without the guy hovering in his personal space. Jo was good company anyway, "Brought a friend back with me for the week and things just got messed up with the whole Lisa situation."

"Heard she's gone completely off the deep end," Victor laughed, with the other guys agreeing, "We haven't seen her for months now. Heard you knocked her up, though. That true?"

"That would be true," Dean nodded, "She wants nothing to do with me, though."

"Escaped that one, though," Victor laughed, a small smile on his face, "Guess it allows you to be who you really are."

Dean frowned at that comment, and didn't miss the look that Victor had given Castiel, "So, that the guy Michael saw you with a few months ago?"

"What are you on about?" Dean asked, looking between the group of football players. Some of them had smirks while others just had small smiles. Victor grabbed Dean by the shoulder, squeezing hard in a friendly way.

"It takes one to know one, trust me," Victor shrugged, "It's about time you came out."

Dean couldn't keep his poker face for a brief second. His features showed the confusion he had, looking between the group. It was then that one of them said how Victor had come out at the start of the year. He was fed up of hiding it.

"I had my suspicions on you a while. Kinda got it confirmed the other night. John looked real pissed talking to Bobby. I overheard some of the conversation. Look, we don't care. They've been real good with me since I came out."

Dean looked over at the team again, seeing their happy faces. Maybe it wasn't going to be that difficult coming out to his friends after all. Nodding his head slowly, he turned back to Jo and Castiel, motioning for them to actually join him.

"Well, I guess I better introduce you to Castiel then. My boyfriend."

The team grinned as Castiel joined the group, his eyebrows raising. Victor smiled, welcoming Castiel into the group, "Nice to meet the guy who can actually get Winchester into a committed relationship. Even Lisa was never your girlfriend around us."

While they all chatted, Jo nudged Dean and then winked at him. He just wrapped his arm around her to hug her slightly, kissing the top of her head, "Thanks."

"Told you friends wouldn't care."

Four beers later, and Dean was actually enjoying his time being out of the closet. Castiel even seemed happy that Dean was happily wrapping his arms around his boyfriend in public—and not just in front of his brothers and best friend. It was a side of Dean that Castiel had never seen. A side that Dean knew he owed it to Castiel to show.

The alcohol definitely helped. It loosened him up a little, and meant that he didn't worry as much about what others said. There were whispers. While the football team had accepted him with open arms—possibly thanks to Victor Hendrickson coming out just a few months ago—there were some of the students who were now watching him in disgust. But like Jo had pointed out. His true friends wouldn't—and didn't—care.

It was all going well, until Michael Jennings walked in. Dean was sitting on the couch playing on the Xbox against Victor when it happened, so he didn't even notice until Michael was right behind him.

"Thought the two fags would hang out together," Michael's deep voice boomed easily over the music, "Maybe you two need a room."

Victor paused the game, turning to face Michael in disgust, "What the fuck do you want, Jennings?"

By now, the music had stopped and all eyes were on the situation. Whispers went around about how Dean was going to beat the crap out of Michael now, or how maybe Michael was going to get his revenge. Dean heard them all, but ignored them. He stood up, turning to face Michael with narrow eyes. Only the couch separated them.

Behind Michael stood a couple of other basketball players. Balthazar was there, as Dean expected, and so was Bartholomew. The three that Dean hated the most.

"Why don't you just get outta here, Jennings?" Dean asked, "You ain't welcome."

"No, you ain't welcome, you fag," Michael sneered, "You dump that guy I saw you with in Kansas City then?"

"You're just pissed that you got your ass kicked," Dean rolled his eyes, "Again, I might add. And I'll happy give you another ass-beating."

"I bet you'd like that, huh?" Michael laughed, dark brown eyes bearing into Dean, "Or would you like the ass beating. I'm sure Hendrickson can help with that."

Dean glanced at Victor and then around at the people staring at them, his tongue running across his teeth as he geared himself up for the fight that was bound to happen. The football team had come to back both of them up, and Dean could see Jo standing with Castiel just off to one side. He was really trying to control his anger, but Michael would always get the better of him.

"What's wrong, Winchester?" Michael now asked, "You got the hots for me?"

"No one in their right mind would have the hots for you, man," Dean chuckled, shaking his head, "Who'd want to be with a big bag of dicks?"

"You know, something, it's your kid I'm gonna feel sorry for," Michael shook his head, "Growing up knowing his dad is some fag. Knowing his dad left his mom because he preferred to take it up the ass. You shoulda stayed with Lisa, man. It's not like she wasn't good in bed."

Dean narrowed his eyes, trying to keep his poker face up. Everything that Lisa had said to him earlier that day was now running through his mind. Was Michael just trying to get a rise out of him or had he actually slept with Lisa?

"Maybe she just didn't stick things in the right places for ya, huh?" Michael laughed, making the other two basketball players laugh. Dean clenched his jaw, as he tried to remain calm, "I remember what she was like in bed. So full of energy, willing to do anything that pleased..."

Before Dean knew it, he was jumping over the couch, tackling Michael to the ground. He punched Michael twice in the face, before he was pulled up by Bartholomew. His arms were trapped behind his back, as Balthazar came in with a swing. The guy only got one hit, when Dean kicked out his right leg, forcing him back. He then felt Bart let him go, hearing shouting behind him. His former teammates had him back.

By now, Michael was off the floor, and attacking Dean. The two teenagers scrapped on the floor, both getting punches in when they could. Dean managed to get the upper hand, though. He straddled Michael, punching him in the face. He didn't know how many he'd thrown before he felt two hands pull him up.

"Enough!" Victor shouted, forcing Dean to stagger back, away from the basketball player, "Enough. He's not worth jail. That's where you'll go if you keep it up."

Dean pushed Victor away from him, fire in his eyes, "He'd be worth every fucking minute."

"No, he wouldn't." Victor locked eyes with Dean. The two stood there for a few minutes, before Dean felt another hand lay on his arm. Anger still fuelling him, he lashed out and instantly regretted it.

"Dean!" Castiel shouted, grabbing the blonde-haired best friend as she fell to the ground. The force of Dean's swing had knocked Jo backwards into a glass table. A lamp crashed to the floor, catching Dean's attention; making him realize the severity of the situation. Dean shook his head at what he did, trying to take it all in. He could feel the tension in the room as all eyes were on him.

Time stood still for a few minutes. He took in the sight of Jo looking up at Dean with pain, sadness and fear in her eyes. He then looked over at Castiel, whose eyes were full of shock and disappointment. Finally, he looked at Victor, who was clearly concerned while being angry—angry at him or angry at Michael, Dean wasn't too sure. There wasn't any point in looking at anyone else. He knew the looks he'd see.

Shaking his head, mumbling a sorry, Dean took off. He rushed out of the house, straight to his Impala. He needed to think.

* * *

**Uh oh! I'd really like to hear your thoughts. While Dean has tried to change, there are still parts of his past that will come back to haunt him. I'll save anything else I have to say for the finale chapter, released on Friday!  
**

**Please R&amp;R.**


	32. Chapter 32

**As I said, I have a feeling people will want to lynch me after this. There's plenty of drama and some Cas and Dean, as well as Jo and Dean. It's important for this final moment in this story and will lead us into the sequel. I'm still a little behind on the writing of the sequel. So far I have 10-11 chapters, but I wanted to be much further into it. The muse for it just seems to have stopped since I'm not quite following the original plan. I'm waiting for her to give me some clear direction on where to take the story. We both know where we want to end up, it's just getting there...And doing some justice writing it.**

**Anyway, enough about that. It's time for the finale chapter of Made to Lie. Thank you once more for all the support you've given me throughout this story. I've really enjoyed reading all your reviews and I hope you stick with me into the sequel.**

Chapter 32

Dean drove to the only place in Lawrence he could. There was one spot that he would always come when he was stressed or worked up; when he needed to think and clear his head. It wasn't that far out and wasn't anything special. Just on the outskirts for the town was Clinton Lake. He could get close enough to see the beauty, and it helped to sooth his head. John would take him and Sam fishing now and then here. He guessed that the peaceful memories from that were the ones that helped sooth him, even now.

Getting out of the Impala, Dean walked over to the wooden dock, looking into the dark water. Even in the dark, the place was peaceful. After taking his boots and socks off, Dean rolled his jeans up and sat down on the dock. The feeling of the cold water on his feet brought him to reality.

He'd lashed out again. Not just at Michel—Dean didn't care about him—he'd lashed out at Jo. Sure, he hadn't meant it, but then he hadn't meant lashing out at Mary the night before either. Wasn't that how it started? Wasn't that what John and Mary had confessed had happened with that sperm-donor son of a bitch that Dean shared DNA with?

Shuddering at the thought, he knew more and more that his DNA was going to catch up with him. That was where his anger management issues came from, and his love of getting into fights. There was a thrill in it and Dean just couldn't help himself.

Laying back on the dock, Dean let his feet continue to dangle, feeling the bite from the cold water. He covered his eyes with his arm, trying to get the thoughts of Jo's painful look out of her eyes. The pain wasn't anything to do with the physical hit. The pain was mixed with fear. It was all do to with the knowledge that Dean had lashed out at her.

"_I'm proud of you." Jo said from where she stood in the kitchen. Spring break was starting to feel like Jo had moved in with them. Things between Rufus and Ellen were getting worse, and Jo didn't want to be stuck in the middle of it. She just wanted her mom to leave the self-centered ass already._

_Luckily, Mary and John were more than willing to take her in. They even offered her the couch if she needed it, but she knew she had to get back home. It would only cause more problems if she didn't go back home on a night._

_But Jo being here did help Dean. He was able to get a few things off his chest. That morning, the two were the only ones up, except John who had gone to work, and were together in the kitchen drinking coffee._

"_Proud of me?"_

_Jo sat up again, nodding her head, "I don't know what happened to you over the last few years. I was starting to wonder whether I was losing you, ya know? You kept getting into trouble and when I saw the anger in your eyes, it scared me a little. You, you kinda reminded me of...well, you know."_

_Dean nodded his head, swallowing hard. He never really thought about how his actions over the last few years had affected Jo. She'd always been there for him, patching him up from fights and being the shoulder to pass out on when he was drunk. But he'd never really thought about how she had felt this whole time. He was a royal jackass._

"_The last seven months or so, it's like I've had my best friend back. Completely back, I mean," Jo sighed, "And I know Cas is part of the reason for that. You look happy. You look alive again."_

"_I feel it." Dean shrugged his shoulders, embarrassment seeping through. He never felt comfortable talking about his feelings or his past. With Jo, it was a little easier but he still didn't like it.  
_

"_Will you ever tell me what actually happened to make you change so much?"_

_Dean sighed, closing his green eyes as he thought about the past. Flashes of his actions ran through his mind, and he couldn't help but hate himself for it all. Self-loathing was Dean Winchester thing. He was the poster boy for it._

"_I don't really know, Jo," Dean shrugged, "I guess puberty hit and I became a dick."_

"_That's not the reason, Dean," Jo shook her head, "Puberty hit you early. I remember you at 14 full of zits. You didn't change until at least a year after that. Was it him?"_

"_Who?"_

_Jo gave him a stern look, telling him not to be so dumb. Dean knew exactly who she was talking about. It was someone they had promised not to talk about for years. Someone that even his family never mentioned anymore._

"_I know he came back for you around that time," Jo sighed, "I actually thought you'd gotten mixed up with him at one point. Then I heard about the trouble with Crowley and his gang, so guessed it wasn't him."_

"_I guess it was part of him," Dean nodded, "You know, I'm going to become him one day. I know it."  
_

"_You're not your father, Dean." Jo pointed out._

"_He's not my father, Jo," Dean hissed, "He's some sperm-donor. John is my dad. He always has and always will be."_

_Jo had hit a nerve, and coiled back from the anger in Dean's eyes again. He calmed himself down, mumbling an apology. She didn't deserve him lashing out like that, but he never liked thinking of the dick as his dad. But that was part of the reason he started acting out. His biological dad came back into his life after years of being missing—long gone the way he should have been—and it sent Dean through a whirlwind of emotions. He couldn't handle the feelings he had bottled up all these years, and then the anger took control. Drinking helped, fighting was better._

"_Have you told Cas about your past?" Jo asked, with a frown._

"_We don't talk about that crap," Dean shook his head, "It's not like he needs to know. I'm not the kid I was before boarding school. Like you said, I'm back to my old self."_

_Jo threw him a disapproving look, but he had decided to ignore it. Pulling back to him, he kissed the top of her head again, "I'm sorry for the jackass that I became. I should have talked to you all about it and next time I will."_

He knew it was something he would never be able to do. The thoughts about him becoming like his biological father were ones that he'd always kept to himself. Ever since the guy had come back a few years ago, Dean had spiralled out of control.

"_What the hell happened, Dean?" Sam asked, rushing over to Dean as he stumbled into the house through the back door. Dean's right eye was already bruising, his nose was bleeding and his right side felt like he'd been hit with a baseball bat. Wait, he had been hit with a baseball bat!_

_It was just another night for 15-year-old Dean Winchester, though. It had been three months since Azazel had returned, wanting Dean and Sam to come with him. Both Winchesters had refused, making it clear that they were no longer his sons. Hell, the guy had let John Winchester adopt them. He wasn't their dad anymore._

"_Dean, what happened?" 13-year-old Sam asked again, grabbing an ice pack from the freezer to put on his eye. Dean brushed his little brother away, sitting down at the small, battered kitchen table. He didn't need his kid brother taking care of him._

"_It's nuthin'. I'm fine, Sammy."_

_Sam wasn't taking that as an answer, though. He forced Dean to put the ice pack on his eye, while he continued to push for answers._

"_I just got into a fight, okay?" Dean finally took the ice pack from his brother, sitting back in the chair with a wince, "It's nuthin'."_

"_Doesn't look like nothing." Sam mumbled with bitch face #169. Dean rolled his eyes, rubbing the drying blood from under his nose._

_They sat in silence for a few minutes, before Sam couldn't take it anymore, "I'm worried about you, Dean. Mom and Dad are, too."_

"_Yeah, well there's no need to." Dean sighed, putting the ice pack on the table. He didn't want to look at his little brother, though. In fact, he couldn't face his brown eyes, judging him, being worried for him._

"_I heard 'em arguing tonight," Sam admitted, his voice quiet, "They're really scared. Ever since he came back, you started...they're worried about you. That you're gonna go with him."_

_Dean laughed once, humorlessly, with a roll of his eyes. Of course they thought that. That's what everyone thought, right. Even the guys at school had been whispering about the fact that Dean's abusive asshole of a father had turned back up. It wasn't like they knew it all—just rumors that their parents had likely spread—but it was enough to work Dean up. Enough to get him in trouble._

"_It's not drugs, is it?" Sam now asked, making Dean frown. He looked at his brother to see the fear in his brown, puppy dog eyes. His own expression softened, as he realized just how serious Sam's question was._

"_It's not drugs," Dean shook his head, "It's nuthin' you need to be worried about, okay, Sammy? Just a douche-bag."_

It had been a douche-bag. That douche-bag was called Crowley and had started getting Dean into a bit of trouble. It started with a few fights, ended up involving some shop lifting, graffiti and other small, scale things. It didn't take long for Jody to pick him up the first time. That hadn't been too bad. It was the second shop lifting incident that had led to a stint in juvy.

Going to boarding school was supposed to be the fresh start. He'd remembered hearing Ellen, Mary and John discussing it. Mary had hoped that getting Dean away from the people he called friends—he knew they weren't friends—would stop him from getting out of too much trouble. But it hadn't. It clearly hadn't. Dean was still becoming his biological father.

The sound of footsteps on the wooden dock made Dean frown. Nobody knew he was out here. Was he about to have someone try and jump him? Maybe one of Michael's friends had come to get payback for the damage he'd clearly done at the party.

"Thought you'd be here, Winchester."

The female voice made Dean frown even further. He moved his arms away from his eyes and looked up at the two figures above him. The blonde hair of his friend shocked him more than the dark hair of his boyfriend. Why would she come here?

"You never surprise me when you're worked up like that."

Dean sat up, as Jo took her own boots and socks off, rolling her jeans up to put her feet in the water next to him, "That's fucking freezing, Dean!"

She pulled her feet out, as Castiel sat on the other side of Dean on the dock, keeping all his clothes on and just sitting Indian style.

"What are you doing here?" Dean asked, not directing his question at one or the other directly. He wanted to know why both of them were here.

"You think that show of testosterone would stop us from following you?" Jo asked, "I'm just pissed you made us get to mine alone so I could grab my car."

Dean frowned, looking at Jo's face. He could see the black eye that she was getting from his swing earlier. He reached out to touch it, concerned when she initially flinched, "I'm sorry."

"I know," Jo sighed, "I got in the way..."

Dean glared at her when she said that, shaking his head. Getting up, he picked his boots and socks up and walked back to the Impala. He wasn't listening to that; wasn't listening to her blaming herself.

"Dean!" Jo sighed, but Dean didn't stop. He did hear footsteps rushing towards him. They were shoed footsteps, so they could only belong to one person.

"Dean," Castiel grabbed Dean's arm. He didn't flinch this time. He just turned around calmly, looking into Castiel's blue eyes, "We're here to help you."

"Help me do what?" Dean asked, shaking his head, "You want me to talk out my feelings? I don't do that, Cas."

"You should," Castiel sighed, "But no, we're here to make sure you don't beat yourself up for tonight too much. Jo doesn't blame you...I don't..."

"You should blame me," Dean shouted, glaring over at Jo, who was now putting her socks and boots back on, "I'm the one that just gave her that shiner. I saw the fear in her eyes, Cas. You have any idea how much that scares me?"

Jo rushed over as soon as she could, grabbing Dean's face so he would look into her dark brown eyes, "That really was an accident, Winchester. I know that and you know it, too. I'm guessing you thought it was Balthazar or Michael and you wanted to defend yourself. I shoulda known not to come up behind you. You think that's the first time someone's hit me like that?"

Dean got out of Jo's grasp, walking away from the two of them, "You both need to get away from me. I'll only hurt you."

"What the fuck, Dean?" Castiel shouted, "You're being ridiculous right now. We were having a great night until those dickheads turned up. I don't blame you for beating up that guy, by the way. He really was asking for it."

"Yeah, but...I wanted to kill him, Cas," Dean shook his head, turning his attention back to the pair, "I really wanted to kill him and I woulda if Victor hadn't pulled me off 'im. You have any idea how much that scares me? I'm gonna turn into that sperm-donor and you two don't need to be around me to see it."

Castiel was going to walk towards him, to calm him down, but Jo stopped him. Dean had already turned on his bare heels and walked back to the Impala. Dean opened his car door and sat to put his socks and boots back on. He could hear whispering from Jo, presumably telling Castiel a little more about Dean's anger issues and history.

Standing from the car, he watched them walk towards him. Castiel's blue eyes were full of concern and sadness—two things Dean didn't want to see from him. Leaning on the roof of his car, Dean watched them carefully, deciding his next move. He could completely ruin his relationship with both of them right now, and he just didn't want to do that. He wanted to make them work, but he needed to sort his head out. He needed to stop himself from becoming his father.

"Dean, let's..."

"I need some time," Dean looked directly at both of them. They stopped in their tracks, watching him carefully. Jo looked like she wanted to say something, but Dean got in there first, "Look, I'm trying real hard not to say or do anything stupid right now. I'm poison and you should know that Jo. I'm a jerk, and you definitely know that Cas. So, I need some time. Just let me go for a drive, clear my head a little more and I'll see you back at mine."

There was a hint of pride in Jo's eyes, as she realized that Dean was trying to do the sensible thing. Nodding her head, she smiled, "I'll take Cas back. Be careful, Dean."

Dean climbed into his car, silently thanking her with his eyes, and then drove off. He didn't really have a destination in mind. He did just need to clear his head, though.

Jo and Sam were so certain that he wouldn't become his dad, and he was damn well going to prove them right. He wasn't sure where the determination came from, but he had it and that's all that mattered. He was going to make sure he proved them right but the only way he could do that was by clearing his mind.

While he drove, he turned on the radio to the classic rock station. It was in the middle of _I Can't Quit You Baby_ making Dean smile. He couldn't quit Castiel. That was certain. He wouldn't quit him. He'd come out to his old school friends, and they'd accepted him. There was hope for their relationship. There was hope for Dean.

After about an hour of driving, Dean finally felt ready to face the music. He was ready to get back home and take on whatever was coming to him. He wouldn't be surprised if his Mom was up by now, probably worried sick and questioning Jo's bruise. Would Jo tell Mary the truth about it? Would Dean have that to explain? Another reason for Mary to worry about her son?

As he drove through Lawrence, he stopped at a red light. Usually, he'd drive around to get to his home, but at 4am, the streets were empty. He didn't mind driving through the quiet town at this time. Seeing the light turn green, Dean put his foot on the gas and drove into the middle of the crossroad. He didn't see what was coming next. There was no time to react. All he saw was the bright lights for the large truck barrelling towards him. All he heard was the crash as the truck hit the side of his car, forcing him to the side of the road and into a wall. He didn't even feel the pain as it all went black.

**I know, I'm really mean. This is this story completed...think of it like season one of Supernatural where you had no idea whether Dean, Sam and John were all going to survive the car crash and how ;) Like I've already said, though. There _is_ a sequel. It's all from Castiel's point of view.**

**No, it's not the whole story from his point of view. There will be flashbacks as he thinks about Dean's attitude and defense mechanism over the last few months. That's just a hint of the sequel...will Dean live or die? I'm not saying that one just to be super mean.**

**I do want to take this time to thank everyone who read this. I know people didn't like Dean's character and the way Castiel just put up with it. Hopefully the next story will give more insight into why Castiel put up with the jackass that Dean was.**

**Please do R&amp;R, because I'd like to know what you thought of Dean's attitude change during this chapter.**


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